Warrior eventually joined Clarence and I on the back step, and we three sat there together, until the back door
opened a couple of inches. I scooted over to get out of the way.
"Here you are," Crane said.
"Yeah."
Crane came on out the door, letting the screen door shut behind him. He watched me with the dogs for a moment.
"I think they missed you," he said.
"They're good boys," I said, and rubbed Warrior's head with vigor.
Crane leaned against the house, crossing his arms, and looking up at the sky.
"It feels so good here. Warm. It's so cold where Daniel is," I said, in conversation.
"Yeah. I'll bet," Crane said.
When Crane was quiet, I said, "How's Miss Noel?"
"She's good."
After a few minutes, Crane sat down beside me on the step, stretching his long legs out in front of him.
"Daniel talked to me," I said.
"About?" he asked.
"About you. And how he couldn't have gotten thru everything when he was younger without you."
"Daniel gives me too much credit," Crane said.
"I can see it, though. You've always been good to us younger kids, too. I bet what Daniel says is true."
Crane was silent, and I added, "He says you were the glue."
"Hmm. Well, that's-real nice," he said, and I thought he sounded pleased.
There was a sound at the door, behind us, and Hannah spoke thru the screen. "We wondered where you two went," she
said. "Daniel wants you come in. He says he needs you both to help out."
"What is it we're needed to help out with, exactly?" Crane asked.
"You on guitar," Hannah said, pointing to Crane, "and you on piano," she added, gesturing towards me.
"I don't want to," I said, in a low voice, but Hannah had gone.
Crane stood up and I did, too. "Come on," he said, holding the door open for me.
I went in ahead of him, and paused. "I don't want to play the piano in front of everybody," I told him.
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because. Because-I feel weird. Like I'm a guest, sort of. I don't want all that attention."
Crane gave me a long look, his expression serious. Then he leaned down, so that he was on nearly eye-level with me.
"You are not a guest in this house," he said, with finality. "And if you feel as though you are, then we need to fix it."
I tried to meet his eye, and I did, but I was quiet.
"Nobody's going to force you to play the darn piano," he went on. "Okay?"
"Okay."
He straightened up to his full height again, and said, "Come on," to me.
I followed him thru the kitchen to the living room, filled with McFaddens.
"Sit down, squirt," Daniel told me, pointing at the piano.
I shook my head at Daniel, hoping he would take the hint, and back off.
"She doesn't want to right now," Crane said, quietly, so no one but Daniel and I could hear him.
Daniel looked at Crane and then at me. "Okay," he said.
Everybody sat around after that, eating more pie and drinking coffee and sweet tea, listening to Daniel and Crane play the
guitar. In the middle of it, somebody knocked on the front door, and Evan, obviously expecting Nancy, went to answer it.
And it was Nancy. I sort of felt my nerves jump around again. She would have, of course, heard Evan's side of things. If I was to
be perfectly honest, there really was only that one side, though. I'd deliberately tricked Evan, and taken advantage of his kindness last
Sunday. I liked Nancy, and I had the feeling that she wouldn't think much of me now, for treating Evan that way.
I was sitting between Clare and Guthrie on the couch, with Brian on the other end beside Clare, so there was no room to spare.
I felt better sitting between Clare and Guthrie.
Nancy came in, seemingly her usual bubbly self, saying hi to everybody in a general sort of way.
She went off to the kitchen with Evan, and returned with a plate of BBQ. She still had her work shirt on, so she'd obviously just
gotten off of work at the Farm Center. The singing went on for awhile after that. I carefully kept my gaze from Nancy and Evan's
direction.
After another hour or so, Daniel pleaded tiredness. I was glad, in a way. I was tired, too. It had been a long, emotional day.
"No school tomorrow," Guthrie reminded me. "Wanna go fishing?"
"If I can," I said.
"Why can't you?" he asked.
I shrugged, not wanting to explain where anyone might overhear. I was still feeling unsure of things, and not certain what I was
going to be allowed to do and what I wasn't.
As everybody was standing up, and milling around, Brian, who was the nearest brother to me at the moment,
said, "You look tired," to me.
"I am." I remembered that I'd left my bag with my diabetes supplies out in Daniel's truck. I told Brian I needed to go
get it, and he nodded, turning to talk to Crane.
I slipped out the front door, and went to the truck. There was the one yard light and the stars lighting the way.
I grabbed my bag, and Daniel's too, and shut the door, and went around to the back door. The kitchen was empty for the moment,
and I unpacked my supplies, and gave myself my shot. I left the dirty clothes in there, thinking I would do my laundry in the morning.
Brian came into the kitchen, carrying an armful of plates, and cups.
"Grab a few of these, will you, peach," he said. "I'm about to drop some."
I went over and took several of the cups that were hooked over his fingers. We both deposited everything in the kitchen sink, and
he turned to look at me.
"Going up to bed?" he asked, sounding kind.
I nodded.
"Alright," he said, and surveyed me, intently for a couple of moments. "I'll take a hug goodnight, if you wanna give me one," he said.
"I want to," I said, and wrapped my arms around his waist. He hugged me, real tight for a quick moment, and then rubbed my
back.
When he released me, and I stepped back, he said, "Ready to work for me tomorrow? We've got some fence to ride."
I was so happy right then, that I was going to be out riding the next day. I didn't even care where we went or what I had to do.
"Yes, I'm ready," I assured him.
"Alright. Get on to bed, then."
I went up the back stairs, and was almost to my bedroom door, when I heard Isaac cooing and babbling from Hannah and Adam's room.
The door was half-open, and I went in, peeking around the door to look at him.
"Hi, little buddy," I said, and it was almost as though he smiled at me in recognition.
He made more baby talk to me, waving his little hands.
I went over to his crib, and leaned over, picking him up. "You're wet," I told him. "Let's get you changed."
I took him over to the bed, and grabbed a clean diaper and baby t-shirt. For the next few minutes, while I changed his diaper and
his wet onesie, I talked to him. Telling him that I'd missed him, that he was the most beautiful baby in the state of California, even in the world.
"You're lucky," I told him, picking him up and setting him on my leg, as we sat on the bed. "You get to grow up where it's warm. And you
get to grow up here, in this house, on this land. You'll have your own pony, and then a big horse someday, just like I did. And everybody
in this house will love you. You'll never have to wonder if you belong, or if you're really wanted, cause they're all really good at loving kids."
Isaac cooed at me, and reached his chubby little hands out towards my face.
"Do you need a bottle?" I asked him. "Are you hungry, huh? I'll see if your mommy has your bottle for you. Do you want to
wait in your crib while I go and ask her?"
"Here's his bottle," said a voice, at the bedroom door, and I turned my head, startled.
Adam was standing there in the open doorway, his shoulder resting against the door frame, a bottle of milk in his hand.
I'd been so startled by his voice, and his presence, that my heart was jumping a little. I was wondering how long he'd been
standing there like that, and how much of what I'd said he had heard.
"I didn't know you were there," I said, lamely.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he said.
"It's okay," I said, hoisting Isaac up a little tighter to my chest.
Adam came on into the room. "You want to feed him?" he offered, holding out the bottle to me.
"Yeah." I took it from him, and scooted back on the bed a little, and started to feed the baby.
Adam sat down in the rocking chair towards the front of the bed. There was silence for a few minutes, while Isaac greedily
downed his milk. I kept my eyes on the baby mostly, but a couple of times, when I looked up, Adam
was just watching. He looked tired, like I'd thought earlier, but he didn't look angry. More thoughtful.
"That was nice. What you were sayin' to Scooter," he said quietly.
So he had heard me. I felt my face get a little warm. I looked at him, and shrugged a little, feeling embarrassed.
"It was, Harlie. It was nice," he said again. He looked pleased.
I nodded then. "Maybe he won't have to wait until he's four for his first pony," I suggested, alluding to the family rule
that a kid had to be past their fourth birthday before they got their own pony.
"We'll see," Adam said.
Isaac had finished off his bottle, and was lolling back in my arms, reaching his hand for one of my curls. He looked as though
he was fighting sleep.
"I think he'll go to sleep," I said.
"Here, I'll take him," Adam said, and stood up, reaching down and taking Isaac in his arms.
He began to sway back and forth a little with him.
"You goin' to bed?" he asked me, talking quietly.
"Yeah," I said, just as quietly.
"I'll come in in a few minutes to say goodnight," he said, as he laid Isaac in his crib.
"Okay."
I went down the hall to my own room, pulling on my pajamas, and then going to brush my teeth and wash my face.
I sat down cross-legged on my bed, looking around the tiny room. It felt strange almost to be here after a whole week away. I was
leafing thru my mom's journal, which I keep on my nightstand usually, when there was a light tap on my half-open door.
I laid the journal aside, as Adam came into the room.
I sat up sort of straight, and folded my hands in my lap. I felt a little quick tremor of nervousness. Nothing major, just a little.
I wondered if he was coming in to talk about everything, to discuss what I'd done some more, or talk consequences.
"Remember to do your shot?" he asked me.
I nodded, and he came over to the side of the bed. "It's good to have you in here again," he said, giving me a direct look.
And just like that, I lost what composure that I'd had. Tears rose up in my eyes.
"It's good to be here again," I managed.
Adam looked as though he was going to say something else, but he hesitated, and then said simply, "I reckon Guthrie told you
about no school for a couple more days."
"Yeah. He told me."
"I have to leave tomorrow afternoon, to drive to Stockton for a meeting. I thought you might ride along with me," Adam said.
I was fairly sure that it wasn't really a request. More of an order. It was probably to do some of that "talking" that
he had planned for me. Still, he was being nice about it.
"Okay," I said, swiping at my eyes.
"We'll get some supper out somewhere," he added.
I nodded. "K."
He motioned with his hand, for me to get under the covers on the bed. I scooted down under them, and he pulled the blanket
up a little.
"You gonna be able to sleep, you think?" he asked.
"Yes. I'm real tired."
"Okay." He went over and switched off the light. "Goodnight."
"Night, Adam," I said.
7
