Happy holidays everyone! Some heavy stuff in the next 2 chapters (reader be-warned). I had this written before christmas. Thought I'd post today in case anyone is super bored in a post turkey haze.
Thank you to ponytail goddess and musicluver246 for the reviews. So heartening to see I have readers out there. I'd really appreciate if someone leaves me a comment!
As I mentioned. It's going to be a sad few chapters. But the story is about 2 people finding their way through difficulty in their marriage so I am spending some time describing how they got there.
The coolness between husband and wife did not mellow in the following days. Though Haldir was home, Lara still felt the chasm between them. Her husband was dutiful, even at home. He helped with the household chores, spent time with and took care of their son – nothing could be said about the marchwarden not being anything but the most responsible husband. Lara had realized at some point, a dutiful husband was no longer enough. She wanted him to show her his affection, she wanted to be the object of his desires, she wanted him to know that she too made sacrifices for their family. For the first time in their marriage, she felt an emptiness between them. It had not always been so.
"Hal, stop torturing me. Did you find it or not?" Lara huffed impatiently. She flopped herself onto warden's sofa and threw him her best pleading look.
Haldir smirked, and from behind his back produced a book. He had just returned from a trip to Gondor, where he had fulfilled a special mission for Lara in procuring the tome. The elleth squealed with excitement and launched herself off the couch to snatch the book from him. Just at the right moment, the warden pulled the book back, out of her reach.
"But first, I demand payment" he said sagely. With a tap of his finger on his lips, he indicated the price would be a kiss. Lara giggled and gave him a hasty kiss, while at the same time reaching for the book. As soon as the desired object was in hand, she spun around and began to read.
"I have never seen an elleth so entranced by the literature of men" Haldir mused.
"That is because most elleth do not know the common tongue" Lara replied, without looking up. "A shame really, because their books are so interesting. Delightful really" she added, her head still buried in the book.
"Shall I expect not to see you for the next several days, until you are finished?" Haldir asked, with an eyebrow raised.
"Mmmhmm" Lara murmured, clearly not listening to him.
They had been spending time together for several years now. It had started with Haldir's departure for a routine turn at the fences. The lieutenant of the Galadhrim had taken roll call of the soldiers in his patrol at the city gates. With everyone accounted for, the garland ceremony began. As was custom, the lieutenant who was the leader of the patrol went last. In every ceremony Haldir had taken part in before that one, he had knelt before a maiden who weaved the garlands. He had heard his soldiers tease that the garland maidens usually jostled fiercely for the position, though he never paid it any heed. That day, his eyes searched for Lara. He found her standing nervously in the midst of the crowd of assembled well-wishers. He wordlessly stepped toward her. Astonished elves parted to let him through until he was in front of her. She looked surprised, as if she didn't really believe it was going to happen until that moment. Then, he kneeled in front of her and bowed his head expectantly. A murmur went through the crowd, no doubt before sunset, all of Caras Galadhon would know that Haldir had an interest in a maiden.
Lara for her part, awkwardly placed the garland on his brow. "May you return safely lieutenant" she said softly, placing her hand in his outstretched palm. He took it and gave her a kiss. Their first kiss technically. Lara had been there for every garland ceremony after that. They had been seeing much of each other in the last several years. Haldir was immensely proud to have the affection of such a smart elleth. In fact, he frequently felt his intellect fall far short of hers. She was well read and well educated, and harbored no hesitation in expressing her opinions. He had never met an elleth like her.
The elleth felt the warden's arms envelope her. His breath tickled her neck. She smiled and turned her head so that their lips met.
"I love you. I want you to know that everything that I am is yours" Haldir said seriously, after a moment. Lara's eyes widened in surprise. They had been courting for several years, a blink in the eyes of their immortality. Yet, she could not imagine being without him. Lara felt privileged to know the private Haldir, the side that only the people closest to him knew. The Galadhrim consumed almost all of his existence, and he had risen through the ranks quickly as a result. There was no doubt he was a talented and brave soldier. But Lara also got to see the other side. He was fiercely loyal, protective of his close friends and family, and (as would surprise many) very affectionate.
"I love you too Hal" she said easily. She moved to kiss him again, with more passion and urgency this time. His hands explored her curves, but pausing at her chest. He was waiting for permission she realized, and she readily gave it by taking his hand into hers and guiding them to where she knew he desired to be.
Lara could not pinpoint exactly where she lost her sense of passion for her marriage. It was a slow and subtle. Haldir was promoted to marchwarden, the leader of all the forces of the Galadhrim shortly before the final battle for Middle Earth. As he had moved up the ranks, he gained more responsibility. His time at home ebbed away slowly after they married. He was fighting for the very survival of their people, Lara could not take him away from that. Then, they learned they were expecting their first child. What should have been a joyful time of rest and indulgence for her could not have been more stark. Middle Earth was on the brink of Sauron's domination, her husband was leading troops into what would likely be a bloody battle. What could she do but put her own feelings aside?
"Nana! Can we go to the stream today?" Toberion asked. He loved to run barefoot in its cool water, and catch tadpoles. Most of the time this led to splashes, a sopping wet child, and no tadpoles.
Lara smiled. "Of course darling, I'll pack a picnic for us. Go get ready, don't forget to bring your net for the tadpoles."
Toby flashed him a toothy grin. "Ada, will you be coming too?" he asked hopefully.
Haldir studied Lara carefully. She made no move to encourage him. She was still smarting from his rejection. He seemed to sense what she was feeling.
"Ada needs to do some work today. But how about we go for ice cream after dinner tonight?" He offered. This was gladly accepted their son.
So, the couple spent the day apart. While at the creek, Lara briefly pondered what Haldir had to work on, but she really had no inkling as he long ago stopped sharing the details of his job with her. It was something else she disliked. Haldir had always said he admired her intellect, yet he did not discuss the politics or tactics that was his job. She knew he was deliberately excluding her from it. The day was exhausting for Lara. The trek to and from the stream was much harder than Lara had remembered. Perhaps it was because she made it while heavily and unbearably pregnant. After dinner, just when she saw the ability to retire for the night, Toberion had reminded his parents of the ice cream debt they owed him.
The walk to the creamery was one walk too many for Lara's spirits that day. She was in no talking mood as she trudged along the forested paths along her husband and son. Haldir had carried Toberion on his shoulders, sparing Lara from having to pick him up at least. At the creamery, she declined an ice cream.
"Surely, you must want some. As I recall, you quite enjoy strawberry" Haldir offered.
"It makes me nauseous Haldir" she snapped. "If you were around at all you'd know that" she muttered under her breath. If he heard her, he did not let on. He made sure they never fought in front of Toberion. The lack of reaction irritated her even more.
They maintained their tense co-existence for the next week. It would boil over the night her pregnancy entered its eighth month.
Haldir had said almost nothing during the entire dinner. Toberion had chattered away about his adventures that afternoon with the other elflings. Lara knew her husband well enough to have noticed something troubled him as soon as he returned home that evening. It had been another day apart. Haldir and his brother Rumil had spent the entire day on some errand. She didn't ask the specifics, they didn't volunteer. She knew her husband could not be pushed, he would share his news when he felt the time was right. Apparently, desert was the right time. Their son had finished his meal and had occupied himself with his toys in the adjacent room.
The marchwarden put his fork down, leaving his pie untouched. He sighed. "Lara, the Lord and Lady received a message from Lord Elrond yesterday. He is holding a summit of the elven realms to discuss working together on the orc patrols. Sauron is gone but countless orcs still roam Middle Earth" he began. His wife gave no response, only the silent permission to continue. "I am to represent Lorien. I leave in 3 days."
Lara furrowed her brows. The journey to Rivendell alone was weeks. When the math materialized in her mind, she realized what he was telling her. "You're not going to be here for the birth" she said furiously.
His silence confirmed her statement. He looked down at his plate, motionless. The lack of emotion caused her even more consternation. Didn't he care she was upset? "Can't someone else go?" she demanded.
"You know there is no one else" he said quietly. Still in complete control of his feelings. Lara, on the other hand, was losing grip on hers.
"You lead a whole army of soldiers, you're saying there is not one other elf that can go?" she shook.
"Lara, I command the army. It is my task. It is my duty" he explained.
"I know all about your duty to our people. I have lived it enough! What about your duty to our family?" she raised her voice. Haldir winced.
"Meleth, please don't get upset. It's not good for the baby" he pleaded quietly.
"What do you care about this baby! You have not done anything for your children as of late. It has been me, I am the one here everyday Haldir, not you!" she was outright shouting now.
"That is not fair Lara" her husband began. His calm demeanor only worsening her temper.
"What is not fair is your complete disregard for your family! If I'd known, I would never had married you!" She had done it now. She knew it would hurt him deeply. She said it because she wanted him to hurt as she was hurting. It was childish, but Lara didn't care. Couldn't her husband show her some emotion, anything?!
