ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Hermione wakes up and flips out! Now she wants answers! Harry and Millie to the rescue!

Hermione Granger couldn't remember her pillow being this hard or warm. For that matter, she couldn't even remember how she got home from the bar! And for some strange reason, she seemed unable to turn over. Her eyes fluttered open and squeezed shut against the bright light. Had her living room always been this bright? She tried once more, this time only slitting her eye open.

She decided she MUST have gone off the deep end last night because she could swear she was looking at none other than Corban Yaxley! She shut her eye, counted to ten and opened both eyes this time. 'Nope! Not a mistake! Corban Yaxley was sitting in her living room!' So she did what any sensible witch would do at seeing an ex-convict in their home. She screamed as loudly as she could.

"Bloody hell, Granger, cool your tits, lady!" came a voice from the other side of her. She stiffened in fear before chancing a glance over her shoulder. THAT had sounded like, OH DEAR MERLIN! Antonin Dolohov! She screamed again. She threw herself away from him but didn't get very far.

An arm curled around her. "Granger, much as I'm enjoying you squirming around on me, I don't think you're ready to handle me!"

She whipped around. She was sitting in the lap of THORFINN ROWLE! She let loose another loud scream as she scrambled back from him, almost falling off the couch! She was saved by what appeared to be a handcuff? Around her wrist? And attached to THORFINN ROWLE?!

"OH MERLIN, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Bloody hell, Rowle, what the hell did you do?!" she snarled.

Yaxley and Dolohov burst out laughing at her. Of all the reactions she could have had, immediately blaming Rowle had honestly never occurred to them. Rowle was staring at her incredulously.

"ME? What the hell are you on about? I didn't do a bloody thing, Granger! Why the hell are you blaming ME? Maybe it was YOU!" he snapped back.

"I didn't do anything! YOU'RE the one always in a bar fight! You're always the one in the arrest reports, Rowle! What the devil did you do? Why the hell did you drag ME into it?! And for the love of Merlin, why the bloody hell am I handcuffed to YOU?!" she yelled angrily.

"I did not do anything, Granger! I don't know why they enjoy arresting ME so much! Besides, I wasn't the one dancing on the table last night! Maybe they were after YOU and I was the one who get caught up in it! Ever think of THAT, Granger?!" he gritted his teeth angrily as he snarled at her.

Hermione gasped in outrage. "OH! I do not DANCE on tables, Rowle! How dare you say that!"

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, Granger! You were blasted out of your head last night! And you WERE the one dancing on the table!" he taunted her, seeing the perfect chance to rile her up even more. He'd forgotten how much he used to love riling her up in school!

Hermione gritted HER teeth in anger. "Even IF I did dance on a table last night, that still doesn't explain why I ended up handcuffed to YOU! What the devil HAPPENED last night?"

Rowle rolled his eyes at her. "I DON'T BLOODY KNOW, Granger! Maybe you should find the old lady who cuffed us together and ask HER if she's out of her bloody mind, throwing us together!"

"Hermione? Are you awake? Hermione? Can we come through? Harry has your wand." The Floo flared green as the voice of Millicent Bulstrode floated through.

"Millie! Yes, please come on through. Just do one thing for me, please. Take Harry's wand. Just until you come through. I'll explain when you get here." Hermione called. Immediately the fireplace turned green as Millie hurried through, holding Harry's wand. Harry followed close behind her, reflexively going into a fighting stance as he recognized the three men in Hermione's living room. Now he understood why she'd had Millie to disarm him!

It had been years but he still remembered the three men. They had been part of Voldemort's elite fighters. They had served their time, though, as he recalled they had been released on good behavior. Evidently, they were still very close friends as one was very rarely seen without the other two in tow. Of course, considering the one was Thorfinn Rowle and he was always getting into bar fights, maybe the other two shadowed him to keep him from being chucked back into Azkaban!

He walked over, holding Hermione's wand out. "The barkeep found your wand. Again. One of these times, Hermione, you're going to lose it and it won't BE found." He gently scolded her. "By the way, uh, why are you handcuffed to Thorfinn Rowle? And Rowle, would this be your wand, by any chance?"

Thorfinn's eyes lit up in delight at the sight of his wand. He'd only just realized he was unarmed as Harry came through the Floo.

She gratefully took it and immediately sent an Alohamora at the cuff. It didn't budge. She kept trying more spells. After she tried every unlocking spell she could think of, she sighed in defeat. "I don't know, Harry. I was hoping SOMEONE," here she stopped and glanced at Yaxley. "Would be kind enough to TELL me what's going on, since THIS big galoot," she glared at Rowle. "Seems to have no idea himself!"

Since she'd glanced at him, Yaxley took that to mean, he was the one she wanted answers from. "Granger, sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm as much in the dark as you are. All I know is what Thorfinn has told me and Antonin. Something about an old lady last night."

Harry and Millie sat down as Harry had Thorfinn recite, yet again, what had happened last night. Something about it sounded off to him. It was Millie who came up with an idea. "Harry, we have a Pensieve at the house. Maybe Rowle could pull his memory of last night. You and Yaxley could go in and view it, gain perspective from fresh eyes on it."

"Good idea, Millie! I'll go through and get it. You stay here with Hermione!" Harry jumped up and raced back through the Floo. While he was gone, Hermione asked her about last night.

"Millie, what happened at your party? I know we were celebrating but I can't remember all the details." She said.

Millie laughed. "Well, I'll go ahead and tell you. You weren't the only one dancing on a table at night."

Hermione turned bright red." Merlin! I really did dance on a table?!" The three former Death Eaters all chuckled at her.

Thorfinn leaned his head back. "Told you, Granger. See, I've been known to tell the truth once in a while!"

"Oh shut up, Rowle!" she snapped. Yaxley and Dolohov were biting their lips to keep from laughing at the two. Millie had her hands cupped over her mouth as she giggled.