Mountain, meet Mohammed!

Hermione and Thorfinn attempt to find a compatible way to deal with being handcuffed together. Rowle finds the one Muggle book Granger does NOT want him seeing!

"I have to get ready for work, Rowle! Come on!" Hermione ordered. He frowned at her.

"What's the magic word, Granger?" he popped back at her. She gritted her teeth.

"Please, may I go get ready for work, Rowle?" she resisted the urge to slap that sarcastic look right off his face! He pretended to consider her words.

"I don't suppose you'd want to lay out of work until this," he held up their connected hands, "is resolved?"

"No! I don't want to lay out of work! Some of us don't get paid as much as Quidditch players!" she snapped. He leaned close to her.

"Don't worry. I'd take care of your bills for you. We might even find some time to help you loosen up, Granger." He smirked at her. She let out a small shriek as she slapped him again.

He snarled as he grabbed her, pulling her closer to him. "Damn it, Granger! I told you to stop slapping me!"

"Stop being a pervert then, Rowle!" she growled at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Gah! As soon as you stop being such a prude, Granger! You were certainly loosened up last night!" he taunted her. His eyes dropped down and he smiled devilishly. "Very loosened up. Exactly why didn't you ever wear anything like this in school, Granger? We might have gotten along much better!"

Hermione gasped as she realized she was still in the outfit Pansy had loaned her. "This isn't MY clothes, Rowle!"

"Damn, Granger! You swiped another witch's clothes last night? You better give them back! She's probably wondering why she's naked!" Thorfinn was getting a kick out of exactly how much he could rile Hermione up.

Hermione rolled her eyes and face palmed. If she made it through the day without killing his arse, it would surprise her! "These are Pansy's clothes! She let me borrow them last night!"

"Oh, poor Granger! You didn't have any pretty things to wear last night? I could easily buy you a wardrobe of pretty outfits. Just say the word!" he tapped her chin playfully. She slapped his hand away as she glared at him.

"Since I don't go out very much, I already have a wardrobe of outfits! Thank you very much, Mr. Rowle!" she snapped. "Now. I really need to get ready for work, if you don't mind!"

Thorfinn shrugged as he stood and followed her to her room. "Exactly where do you work again, Granger?" He watched as she started flipping through her clothes.

"I work in a bookstore. In Diagon Alley. It's very close to the Ministry. I'll send owls to Harry and Yaxley so they'll both know where to find us." She told him absently.

"Nope, not that one. Um, no, not that one, either." Thorfinn pulled her first two choices out of her hands. Hermione looked at him in her mirror.

"Excuse me! Who is dressing me, you or ME? Stop talking, Rowle!" she went back to flipping through the clothes.

"Excuse me, Granger! Who is going to be the one standing beside you in these boring clothes? Me!" he slapped her next choice into the floor. He flipped through the clothes himself as he spoke. "If I have to stay with you all day, I'm damned well going to enjoy the view!" he pulled out an outfit she'd bought years ago and never had the courage to actually wear.

It was a light weight heather gray pencil skirt with a matching tailored jacket. He dug some more and found a white button up shirt to pair with it. He held out them out with a raised brow. She narrowed her eyes at him, then snatched the outfit away. "Close your eyes, Rowle! I need to change!"

She realized how difficult it would be as she wasn't able to put one arm through the sleeve without separating it at the seam, then sewing it back with a wave of her wand. They went back to the living room where she wrote notes to both Harry and Yaxley and sent them off. Next came the problem of how to deal with having Rowle beside her all day! They took the Floo to the bookstore, coming out in the stockroom. As the main part of the store was facing a Muggle street, the owner kept the Floo in the back of the store.

"Hermione, good to see you, dear. Oh! And who is this young man?" Mr. Norman looked at the huge blonde following her out of the stockroom.

"Hello, Mr. Norman. This is, um, a friend. Rowle, this is my boss, Mr. Norman." She introduced the two men. Mr. Norman looked at the young man who had yet to leave Hermione's side. He decided he needed to get Mrs. Norman to drop by. This might possibly be THE ONE for their Hermione. They'd been trying to play matchmaker for the young woman for some time.

"Oh, uh. Hermione dear, we just got a new shipment in. Would you care to check it in? It's that big red box in the stockroom." Mr. Norman watched as she nodded and turned back to the stockroom, the young man (Rowle?) right beside her.

He quickly took the opportunity to call his wife on the Muggle phone as there were customers around him. "Matty, dear, you will not believe it! Our Hermione just brought a young man to work with her! His name is Rowle! No, I don't know if it's a first or last name. Come to the store later and bring lunch. We'll sit them down and meet him properly!" he laughed as he hung up. Matilda had been all in an excited tizzy at meeting a potential young suitor! He decided to slip back and see how the two of them were doing.

Hermione had found the box of books easily enough. Rowle had lifted them onto the table for her. Now all she had to do was sort them into categories. It should have been easy enough to do in just a matter of minutes. She hadn't, however, counted on Thorfinn's curiosity of seeing Muggle books. Used to books that rearranged themselves according to what one wanted to read, he kept flipping through them waiting for them to change. Also used to moving pictures that spoke to him, it freaked him out when the pictures in the books not only DIDN'T speak but remained in the same position as well!

"The devil is wrong with these books, Granger!" he exclaimed as he dropped another book into her neatly piled stacks, knocking them over. Again!

"These are Muggle books, Rowle! They don't change the words around and they don't move or speak! Had you paid ANY attention in Muggle studies, you would have learned that!" she snapped as she began sorting them out again!

"Ah, but then I wouldn't have to ask you anything, would I?" He looped his arms around her, pressing her into the table, as he nuzzled under her ear. "Are you absolutely sure we even need to be here?" he whispered into her ear. She grabbed his hands and pulled them away from her chest.

"Hands to yourself, Rowle! I'm not one of your adoring little fan girls! I don't even-!" she turned her head in time for him to kiss her! They were still kissing as Mr. Norman peeped in the door. At the sight, he quickly danced a little jig of joy! 'Oh, yes! This definitely might be THE ONE!'

Harry and Ron approached the bookstore from one side, Yaxley and Dolohov came in from the other side. They were all surprised by the little old man dancing a jig. "Mr. Norman? What's going on?" Harry asked.

"Shush, don't disturb them! Come here, come here!" he motioned to them all. They crowded into the hall behind him. He pointed into the stockroom where Hermione was only now beginning to put up a fight against Rowle's kiss! The four wizards watched in suppressed amusement as she pushed him away and slapped him soundly once more!

"DAMN IT, ROWLE! What did I tell you?! Hands off! That includes your MOUTH, too!" she snarled at him. He was grinning as he held his face. 'Damn, she had a hell of a slap! She could rival his mother or sister any day of the week!'

The five spies were leaning on the walls, holding their sides as they kept themselves from howling in amusement! Ron had actually sat down and Dolohov looked close to joining him! Harry, Yaxley and Mr. Norman were shaking their heads over Rowle's antics!

"Come on, Granger! You don't mean that! We always got along so well at school until you'd rat me out! Why did you do that, anyway?" he tipped his head at her.

"Because, you were breaking school rules!" she snapped. He snorted at her.

"And you WEREN'T? Correct me if I'm wrong here, Princess, but exactly how many of those little adventures with Potter DIDN'T involve breaking at least one school rule, Granger?" he watched as her face turned red. "The only reason you three got away with breaking the rules, Granger, is because that demented old headmaster was also a Gryffindor! He let you lot get away with everything!"

"Be that as it may, it doesn't apply here! That's all in the past! I'm talking right here, right now and the rule NOW is keep your hands AND mouth off of me! I mean it, Rowle! Don't test-!" Hermione had begun backing away from him as he started towards her. She ran into the wall as he kissed her again.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Princess!" he whispered as he released her from the kiss. She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her muzzy thoughts. 'Why had she been so angry with him?'

Rowle pulled her back to the table and started looking at the books in puzzlement once more. He still kept expecting one of them to be a Wizarding book. It was a half Wizarding shop, after all. Surely there would be at least one Wizarding book in the whole bloody place!

Hermione took a deep breath and tried to focus on sorting the books into their proper categories. She couldn't get those kisses out of her mind, though. He didn't seem like the type who would be interested in someone like her. He was a pureblood, after all. She'd figured he would end up marrying, eventually, a pureblood witch. Obviously, he was bored and wanted a plaything. Unfortunately, she wasn't interested in being his little plaything!

It was ironic that they should end up handcuffed to together. She hated him and he hated her! All she could do was hope and pray that she figured out where she'd seen the woman before or that Harry, Ron, Yaxley and Dolohov might strike it lucky and run upon her!

Right at the stroke of twelve, Mrs. Norman came bustling in with a large basket. Harry and Ron were browsing in the sports section of the bookshelves. Yaxley was checking out the History section. Dolohov was browsing in the classic arts section.

"Milton! Milton, where are they?" she asked in a loud whisper. He chuckled as he pulled her behind the counter. They disappeared down the hall. The four wizards were sniggering as they kept watch.

He pointed into the stock room where Hermione and Thorfinn were quietly sorting out the books. Well, Hermione was sorting. It looked like Thorfinn had finally found one to look at. From the look on his face, he was very much enjoying the book.

Hermione looked at Rowle. He'd been entirely too quiet for the last few minutes. He was looking at a book, finally not complaining! She wondered what kind of book had put that amused smile and arrested look on his face. She raised up to look and her face immediately flamed.

"What the devil are you looking? Give me that!" she tried to snatch the book away from him. He jumped and laughed as he held it up above her head.

"Nope, I like this one! Can I get it, Granger?" he chortled happily.

"NO! NO, ROWLE! You are NOT getting that book! No!" she hopped up and down fruitlessly, trying to grab the book away from him. Mr. Norman rushed back and motioned the other wizards back into the hallway, laughing. They rushed down the hall to see what was going on. They were quickly overcome with laughter at the sight of the big blonde holding a book just high enough that Hermione was unable to get her hands on it.

"ROWLE! I mean it! You are NOT GETTING THAT BOOK! Hand it over, NOW!" Hermione was trying desperately nor to shriek in anger but the big galoot was trying her last nerve!

Thorfinn was laughing his arse off. She was just too little and entirely too adorable. She looked like a little hissing kitten, jumping and spitting at him!

Dolohov's curiosity overcame him. As far as he knew, Granger would never turn down ANY chance to get a new book. 'What kind of book was Thorfinn holding that GRANGER would not want him having?'

He walked into the room, motioning at Thorfinn. Rowle handed the book over with a laugh. Dolohov held the book away from Hermione as he looked at it. He burst out laughing as he turned to face Yaxley. He held the book up to show him. Thorfinn draped himself over Dolohov's shoulder. Together, they asked in unison, "Please, Corban, can we have it?!"

It was a copy of the Kama Sutra!