Fíli can freely admit that he feels like a blind fool upon leaving the dais in Durin's throne room. The clues about his identity, or at least the part of it that Thorin had kept from him all these years, have been there for a long time. Since before they found Kíli and the Arkenstone, although he will admit that should have been the final and most obvious clue. It all feels like a ridiculous dream, one that he has no idea how to process. So instead of trying to figure out how in Mahal's name he is supposed to be king, Fíli decides to focus on the other surprise that has come with it, even if it should not really be all that much of a surprise; his apparent forthcoming betrothal to Bilba Baggins. The only reason he had noticed her reaction to the revelation of his identity at all was that he had been looking straight at her upon raising the sword. He cannot even be hurt that she is so dismayed by this development.
Truth be told, Fíli is as well.
There is no denying that the thought of marrying her had crossed his mind, although he would also be lying if he tried to say that he had not considered the simplicity of a quick tumble and little else. He likes Bilba, but he has no idea if he can say that he loves her. Everything that has grown between them, after all, could be little more than proximity on the road, and he knows how she feels about the upcoming ceremony to present herself to Durin's Heir. From the way that she runs from the room, Fíli is fairly certain that Bilba is not at all happy with this development, no matter their discussion and actions that morning and it is this which causes his dismay rather than the idea that he may well end up married to her.
He is escorted to a side chamber with Kíli as the cheers die down, and though he sees that Lord Frerin tries to follow the door is barred before his cousin can enter. Thorin mutters something in a low voice to the steward, who nods, and then turns his gaze to Fíli who is still silently holding the sword in his hand as he tries to process everything that has happened in the last hour.
"You truly had no idea?" Kíli asks into the near silence, the distant sound of cheers still audible through the thick door.
"None," Fíli shakes his head. "I didn't put it together."
"You were never meant to, lad," Thorin assures him. "Neither of you were ever supposed to know." He gestures and both of the boys sit in the nearest chair, the sword clattering against the stone floor. Thorin arches his eyebrow at Fíli and he flushes as he picks it up to place into his lap. "I told you once that your parents knew," Thorin tells Fíli and he sees his brother lean closer. Kíli never knew their parents, Fíli knows, and they were rarely mentioned before that awful winter. "Your mother had an older brother, and as sometimes happens in every line he was reckless, foolish and irresponsible. He drank to excess, neglected his weapons training and challenged those he would have been better off staying well away from. Your mother, fortunately, was nearly forty years his junior and ignorant to her brother's flaws. Your grandparents and I, however, despaired of what was to happen to the line. He was, by some unfortunate miracle, killed during a fight he engaged in during his coming of age party. Without your mother the line would have been lost since she was a gift from Mahal himself in the twilight years of your grandparents' lives, they had been old already when her brother had been born, which had led to us making the mistake of informing him of his lineage early in life, and it was clear that they would not live to see your mother reach her majority.
"They passed when your mother was in her mid-sixties," Thorin sighs, "and it was within weeks of one another. Seeing her mother's agony at the loss of her husband of nearly fourteen decades, your mother vowed that she would never wed and refused your father the first time he asked permission to court her. It was then that I revealed the truth of her ancestry to her, aided by a letter from her father, to impress upon her the importance of marrying, even if your father was not the one who called to her heart she would need to leave herself open to the possibility. Fortunately, she needed only that small justification, although I do not think she ever believed me, to put aside her choice not to marry. Víli, as with every spouse who comes to the line, was made aware of what he was becoming involved with. As with your mother, however, the fact that we did not have parents or grandparents around to confirm the tale meant that he believed it some ancient family legend or rumour rather than truth."
"So we would have been told in the end?" Kíli asks, and Thorin grimaces.
"Fíli would have been told, he was to have been told upon his coming of age," he replies, "but you would have remained ignorant of it unless the revelation became unavoidable. To be honest, had you not been lost and the Jewel had remained in Khazad-dûm it is altogether likely that I would have allowed the secret to remain until it came time to claim the throne for my father's line once again." He shrugs. "I had no idea that it would happen within this generation, although Tharkûn insisted that all signs were pointing that way." Fíli looks at his brother and sees the frustrated set of his face, Thorin must see it as well because he sighs. "Your ignorance was supposed to keep you safe, both of you. I have been doing this for a long time, and in my experience those who were aware of the truth, particularly at a young age, spoke of it and without the care that perhaps they should have taken, your lost uncle was proof of that. We were discovered rapidly on those occasions, and more than once I feared the line would be lost before it could be continued. Perhaps the necessity of sharing it with your mother's brother is what led Azog to us that night he slew your parents, I do not know and speculation rarely leads to answers. It became something shared when the heir came of age, and always after years of hearing stories of the line of Durin. After losing your parents, however, and with the two of you so young…"
"You decided it was too dangerous to tell us even that much," Fíli concludes softly, well remembering his frustration at knowing so little of his people's history. Much of what he does know he learnt from Ori, or upon the quest to retrieve the Arkenstone. "Were you the only one who knew about me?" He asks, unsure whether he should be angry about being kept in the dark or not. He wants to be, but it is all so much to process he almost cannot be.
"No," Thorin shakes his head. "The Steward, Lord Frerin in this generation, has always been made aware of the birth of the next heir, though never their identity, and any siblings that heir might have although your line seems to have tended more towards lone children than anything else. There is also a guardian, aside from myself, aware of who you are in case anything should happen to me, or should I have to leave for any reason."
"Dwalin," Kíli says, obviously remembering all the times that the large dwarf had come to Bree to watch over them both. Thorin nods.
"Indeed," he replies. "His father was killed trying to protect your parents from the White Orc, Fíli," he adds and the young dwarf bows his head. "His line has been as dedicated to the protection of yours as I have been, although it ends now with Dwalin and Balin. Balin has no interest in marrying, though I suspect he will take Ori on as an apprentice, and Dwalin married Nori, and neither of them can bear children. That should have been as much of a clue that the time was coming for you to take the throne as any other."
"What happens now?" Fíli asks.
"To you?" Thorin replies, relaxing back in his chair. "You learn to be king. I will stay with you for as long as I can, though now that the line is restored to Khazad-dûm I am hopeful that the years of my life will once again begin their natural march." Fíli knows that his upset at the thought must be as clear as Kíli's, who looks stricken that they might yet lose the dwarf who raised them both. Indeed, Kíli never truly knew their parents, Thorin has been more a father than an uncle over the years no matter what they have called him. "I am over a thousand years old, my lads, only the elves are meant to live so long and among our people only Durin the Deathless lived longer. I feel no shame admitting that I am tired and I have been long without my wife, I have no fear of death and long to return to her side. As long as Mahal allows I will stay and teach you, as I have always done." He smiles. "I am proud of you both, you conducted yourselves today, and over the last months, far better than I had ever dreamed."
Kíli smiles brightly and it is almost the same smile that Fíli used to see on him before he disappeared. His brother always longed for Thorin's approval, however, and Fíli knows that the events of the last decade still weigh heavily on his younger brother. He knows that Kíli keenly feels the failure of not being able to continue to resist the commands of the White Wizard, since it is something that his brother has admitted to on more than one occasion. To hear pride from their uncle is something that Fíli knows will warm Kíli for days to come. He cannot quite bring himself to feel the same warmth. He is happy, of course, that he has acted in a way to make his uncle proud, that he did not shame himself, his line, or his uncle in his reaction to suddenly discovering the truth of his lineage, but he cannot bring himself to be happy about the revelation or that it had been kept from him up until it was too late.
No matter the revelations that have come, however, he cannot quite get the dismay on Bilba's face out of his thoughts.
"What's wrong?" Kíli asks him, obviously seeing his thoughts more clearly than Thorin does.
"Bilba," Fíli replies, choosing to focus on the thing that he might be able to fix rather than the overwhelming future that is before him.. "She ran away from the Shire to avoid approaching an empty throne, what's she going to do now that she knows it isn't empty anymore?"
"She will have less chance of escaping here than she did on the road," Thorin assures him.
"I don't think she will," Fíli disagrees, having watched Bilba closely on the way to the mountains. "She has some sort of trinket, a ring, and when she puts it on she vanishes from sight."
"How do you know this?" Thorin demands, his relaxed posture vanishing.
"I've seen her do it," Fíli mumbles, turning his eyes upon the sword, the song of the Arkenstone swells in his mind for a moment, promising him all manner of marvels if he will only learn how to wield it, assuring him that this is a good thing and not something to fear or shy away from. He shakes his head to clear it and turns his attention back to Thorin. "I've been meaning to mention it, but every time I think there might be a moment something else comes up." He thinks his uncle will berate him, but instead Thorin frowns pensively. "I think the only reason that she's stayed at all is that I haven't mentioned it to anyone."
"But you worry that now she will use it anyway?" Kíli asks. He has heard a great deal about Bilba's thoughts on the upcoming ceremony, so he knows that while she is still unhappy about it she has become more resigned to it as time has passed.
"She despises being forced into anything," Fíli reminds his brother. "She ran away from home to avoid having to take part in a ceremony she thought was an empty waste of time. Now that I'm apparently supposed to take the throne," and that thought is a truly bizarre one that he does not feel ready to deal with at the moment, "she's going to be all the more determined to find a way out of it. I think with the training she's had on the road and the experiences she's gained she'll decide to take the risk to get out of the obligation." He swallows. "Is there no way that we can release her from it?" He implores.
"Do you wish to?" Thorin's eyebrows shoot up.
"No," Fíli admits, to himself as well as to them, "but I don't know that what I want is the most important thing." He waits for Thorin to berate him for trying to get out of what appears to be a duty that comes with his sudden new status. Instead Thorin smiles at him more warmly than Fíli has ever seen.
"You have grown, my lad," he beams, "and in a way that could not make me happier. Your concern for her wishes does you credit, more than you could realise at this stage in your life. While the union between the line of Durin and that of the Tooks is something that Mahal has made clear should happen, in Bilba's case we may have grounds to cancel the ceremony entirely if this is a development she cannot accept or live with. She is, after all, a Baggins, even if her mother was a Took." Fíli feels something go cold at the idea of giving Bilba up entirely. He has, after all, entertained ideas of courting her. "I can see that is not what you want, and I believe, no matter what protests she may make, that it is not what she really wants either. If I were you, I would give her the option. You might find that simply knowing she has a choice will soften her attitude towards you a great deal. And if you are correct about this trinket of hers, it should be done now rather than risk waiting until later."
Which would be wonderful, Fíli thinks as Thorin opens the door and starts barking orders, if he had the first idea of what to say to her.
A.N: I have nothing. Enjoy
