*Note that this is all made up from an idea, with little reference to the original hearing, book or movie, since i lack the material at hand. It is highly inaccurate, highly pretentious and highly one-sided. Read at your own peril.*

As he was being led into Courtroom Ten and unto the sole chair innocently laid out at the very center, surrounded by rows and rows of intimidating witches and wizards looking down upon him from up above, Harry Potter's thoughts were making a truely desperate request for salvation of any and all beings and divinities willing to listen. He didn't ask for any of this. Being the 'boy-who-lived' and drawing all the attention just by simply breathing, fighting Voldemort and his minions year after year after year, almost getting killed again and again, it was simply all too much for his shoulders to bear! And now he was being tried and treated as a criminal for the mere fact of defending himself! He could really use some help in his life, if only just this once... Luckily for him, such a being was coincidentally passing by their tiny planet and overhead his woes.

"Yo. Special being here, coming to help. Just this once, heh!"

Suddenly hearing an unknown voice in his head visibly startled our boy-wonder, but all the people watching him in the courtroom merely thought he was scared.

"Uhm, hello? Who's this? Am i finally going insane?"

Before he heard any kind of verbal response, he quickly felt himself lose control of his own body.

"Relax kid, you're fine. You asked for help, i heard and decided to answer. Now sit back and let me run this magic show for a while."

Harry didn't really know what to think about that, but he was quite happy to let someone else take charge of things for a while, even if that someone might possibly be a split personality created as a result of him going insane... The being's retort to this thought was preempted by the hearing's official start.

"Disciplinary hearing of the twelfth of August, into offences committed under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery and the International Statute of Secrecy by Harry James Potter, resident at number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. Interrogators: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic; Amelia Susan Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Court Scribe, Percy Ignatius Weasley —" (wiki)

And in came through the main doors one Albus Dumbledore, just in time for a grand arrival.

"Witness for the defence, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."

"Take in the sights while you can, kid. We'll let these showmen do their thing while i research context, then we'll go for the kill."

In his 'not caring' mode, Harry did just that and leisurely took a gander at all the weirdly dressed people around. Most people, including the Minister were wearing black, shiny robes with silly black hats while the rest were the same, but in red. He believed the people in red were more important than the people in black, but that was because Fudge was wearing black and he wasn't all that important in Harry's book. Fudge and Dumbledore were playing their show, with a few interruptions here and there from some weird monstrosity that somehow passed as a human in everyone else's eyes, but it didn't really matter to him. It felt.. nice, being part of the background, despite him obviously being the main star. And so time passed until the being finally finished his research, whatever it was.

"Alright kid, i'm in the know now. Let's get this party started!"

The debate had been going on for a while now, with Fudge having just finished saying "Laws can be changed if necessary, Dumbledore!". However, just before Dumbledore could reply, the being now in control of Harry's body stood up from his chair, drawing everyone's attention back on him. Most, including his defender stared at him in confusion, while a few including the monstrosity, smirked.. predatorily as they sensed an avenue for attack. 'Harry' stood tall, short as he was, and took in each and every person in the room.

"Witches, wizards and other beings!" The last bit was pointedly directed at the one superficially named as Umbridge, who puffed up red in anger as a response. "Let us dispense with the fancy wordplay and talk facts, with honest questions."

The group glanced at each other a bit confused, yet quite interested in the diversion at the same time.

"Why are we here today?"

It was Umbridge who stuck her nose in the quickest.

"Obviously we are here to make known your offences to our society and see you punished for it, as it is proper. You would know that, had you paid attention from the start instead of losing yourself in another of your increasingly common delusions, Mr Potter."

A few chuckles here and there showed that some people were quite biased against him, despite the old man's tricks before. He was not disturbed as this was now his performance to act, not anyone else's.

"Wrong. We are gathered here today because this is a pivotal moment in deciding the future of our society."

Hearing his response, many others more visibly showed they now believed him to be quite daft. He continued.

"Before we all agree why i'm correct, let's go back a little and study the foundations of my statement. And we begin this with a question: Who am I?"

A bit of whispering started roaming around the courtroom until a random Wizengamot member decided to bite the bullet and play along.

"Why you're Harry Potter, of course! The Boy-Who-Lived!"

Without turning, 'Harry' pointed directly at the member in question.

"Exactly! I am The. Boy. Who. Lived. By your own words, society has decided that I have somehow managed to vanquish the most dreaded Dark Lord in recent history. By your own words I was declared a hero fifteen years ago. And by your own words, you now call me.. insane."

Though others were taken aback by him and even Dumbledore decided to let him play his card, Umbridge was not impressed in the least.

"Ahem. You have clearly allowed your fame get to your head, giving yourself delusions of grandeur and imagining the source of said fame come back to life, if only in a bid to escape the clear mediocrity you have found yourself trapped within."

'Harry' didn't deign to even glance in her direction, yet answered nonetheless.

"Wrong. Let's move closer in the timeline, the summer of last year, the World Cup encampment. Lost in the drunkeness of the Irish team's victory, a specific group of clearly inebriated people decided to relive the glory of their 'imperioused' days and donned their dusty Death Eater cloaks and masks to run amok and spread the terror of old once more. Curiously, they ran away as soon as the mark of their previous afilliation was cast upon the skies. Quite fearful at that."

Fudge smacked his gavel on the podium to insert himself into the conversation for reasons known only to himself.

"Now see here! The investigation into that event clearly concluded that while it was certainly in poor taste, no one was truly harmed in the overzealous display of mischief! That being said, i fail to see how the incident is related to your breaking the Statute of Secrecy earlier this summer for some yet-to-be-proved reason and this hearing?"

'Harry' started pacing as he waved his left index finger at Fudge a couple of times, with a small smile on his confident face.

"The muggle family whose property your organization has used without permission, whose memory you've modified hundred of times within the day - something that will harm even the sturdiest of wizards or witches - and who were toyed with by the accused party in question - eerily similar to all the muggle-baiting that used to happen during the war at the hands of quite willing Death Eaters - might like to disagree with you, minister. If only they could remember it, of course..."

Fudge had a constipated look struggling to pick his political answer. Either he said muggles weren't worth the care to please his elitist contributors or he pretended to have some concern and paid some lip service to maintain his public image. Umbridge made that choice for him.

"The Ministry of Magic works for the betterment of wizard and witch society. Muggles are not ours to care for." She narrowed her eyes at her prey. "And you are starting to derail the purpose of this hearing. Perhaps we should begin the voting process, whilst there is still light in the day."

'Harry' continued to ignore her.

"But that part was not what i was leading to. We now know that the mark that was cast in the sky at the end of the World Cup, with a stolen wand by the now deceased Bartemius Crouch Junior, a fanatical Death Eater. With the help of another hidden Death Eater, he actually managed to catch the paranoid, scar-ridden, war veteran and Master Auror Alastair Moody and replace him as a teacher at Hogwarts for most of the following school year."

He stopped pacing and looked at his audience with gravity.

"Think about that for a moment! It took merely two determined Death Eaters to catch someone who was deemed uncatchable, someone who warded his home for war, someone who saw a threat in everything! And they succeeded! Not only that, but they pumped him full of Veritaseum, a highly regulated potion might i add, and used what they learned to successfully impersonate him for almost a year, in a school full of your children! Taught them the Unforgivable curses, practiced the Imperious on each and every one of them, was in charge of overal security for the Tri-Wizard tournament in its entirety. One Death Eater did all that and no one could tell a thing!"

Everyone was starting to feel quite uncomfortable. Some parents squinted their eyes at the headmaster and the minister in repeated succession, as if asking 'How the hell did you allow this to happen?'. Amelia Bones in particular was looking quite puce and irate.

"So what if i am just a liar starving for attention? So what if whatever i'm saying is just a personal delusion in a misguided attempt to retain my fame? I have no family left alive. My loneliness should be an excuse! I'm just a child! I should be pitied, not tried a criminal! Do you enjoy bullying me just because i have no one to turn to for solace?"

A few grannies here and there were already dabbing at the corner of their eyes with their expensive handkerchiefs. After a few moments of silence to let them collect themselves, he pushed on.

"But what if I'm right?" He pointed at the minister. "Minister Fudge and his minions have been pushing the sole narrative that i'm wrong. He brought a Dementor at Hogwarts and had Barty Crouch Junior kissed on the spot, without asking any question at all. How did he catch Moody? Who was he working with? How did he get the Veritaseum? Why did he turn the Goblet of Fire into a portkey to Merlin-knows-where? Nothing was asked!" He let them stew and mumble a few moments more, while Fudge was staring at him, paling and shaking in impotent anger.

Harry was in his mind, enjoying the show and chewing on some popcorn that popped up out of nowhere. He really liked the aggressive style and though to himself that he should start using it himself as it looked like it got things done. His guest's line of sight centerd on Madam Bones.

"If i'm right, Madam Bones, and the man everyone is too afraid to name really is back, who do you think is going to be in the greatest danger, hmm? Minister Fudge? We all know he's a sellout to the highest bidder. Perhaps Malfoy and all the other 'Imperioused' Death Eaters with a now itching and very active arm tatoo? I've already seen them go back to him on their knees." His target was frowning at him deep in thought and with a clenched jaw, while a few members of the Wizengamot stopped themselves from scratching the same respective arm. "No, Madam Bones. if i am telling the truth, then as the candidate with the highest chances of becoming the next Minister of Magic, you are the very first one he will kill."

She locked eyes with him, glaring. Helpful advice or threat, she didn't like his blunt words. Dumbledore, having long taken the role of background foliage, was also thinking about quite a lot of things and no longer paid attention to the event around him. 'Harry' turned away from Madam Bones and took in the courtroom at large.

"If i am just a liar, then nothing will come of the words i say. As such, i can say them freely. Whether you will listen is not my problem. I am delusional, after all. But let's go back to the war! How many muggleborn families were killed and how many pureblood ones? If anyone cares to check, you will find that the numbers are not that high apart. For the so-called 'pureblood movement' to have killed almost as many of their brethren as that of the target of their purge, it is clear that their motives were a lie. It was never about blood purity! It is there in the name, plain for all to see! 'Vol-de-mort'," Gasps of fright. "flight of death! A madman's lunatic quest for immortality, whatever the cost!"

A few of the pureblood representatives were on their feet, looking ready to pounce!

"He murdered the entire older generation! He used his followers to kill the so-called 'blood traitors' and then, as if an unlikely coincidence, a sudden wave of maladies killed any and all that might have stood against him! Malfoy, Flint, Selwyn, Rosier, Fawley, Nott, Burke. All purebloods, all sacred, all with the power to stand against his reign! And who was left behind? Children! Young adults, eager to prove themselves and without experience! Easily moldable! Easily conquered! Easily marked."

The tentative naysayers now stood confused. They all knew each other and their families. It was true that their parents or grandparents had died in the years before the end of the war.

"How fast did the war slide to the Death Eaters advantage after those deaths? The resistance was gone, completely. Funds started flowing in without an end in sight and each attack was more easily accomplished. Why? Because it was never about blood purity." He stood straight, head held up high. "Thomas Marvolo Riddle is the son of Salazar Slytherin's squib descendant Merope Gaunt and random muggle Tom Riddle. Yet he became one of the strongest wizards in the recent century. A squib and a muggle's progeny took charge of the so-called 'pureblood movement' and killed half of the pureblood families still alive... And yet you call me delusional."

He looked down at his feet, shook his head and chuckled before staring at them once more with a smile.

"We're done here. The only question remaining, the only vote to be taken on this day is a very simple one! Do you wish to live or do you wish to die? Make your choice freely. I'm leaving."

He turned to leave, throwing a careless wave goodbye and ignoring any and all reactions. Harry was confused though.

"Somehow i feel this didn't go as you planned and you still have some things to say. Any reason for the rush?"

The being indeed had a reason to walk away. He wasn't exactly an invited guest and the powers-that-be on and around the planet were taking notice of his prolonged presence. They were growing displeased.

"Sorry kid. I took this job on a whim, so a few forces around are taking that personally. I might get kicked out forcefully if i don't leave on my own soon, so we'll need to wrap this up fast. Here's some stuff you need to know going further:

There's about six or seven horcruxes running about, your scar included. Your mind is open for Riddle to look into, so i'mma just gonna get rid of yours before i go and get rid of that particular thorn."

"Wait, what? Horcruxes? What are those? And one of them's in my head? Is that why i kept having visions this year?"

"Yeah, right. Think of them as soul piece containers used to gain pseudo-immortality. Read some books if you want to know more, i don't have time for it.

Now, the next ones are Ravenclaw's diadem in come and go room - ask the elves about it, Slytherin's locket in Black's house - tell Sirius and ask Kreacher about it, Gaunt's ring in Little Hangleton - very dangerous, tell Dumbledore after getting the others and go at least three of you after it, Hufflepuff cup in Lestrange vault at Gringotts - the goblins can be reasoned with at a financial loss, the snake you've been having visions of - kill it when you see it, and the diary you destroyed in second year."

"Sounds... like a lot."

"It's really not, compared to what you'd have to do without knowing about it. Now, i gotta get rid of a few loose ends before i go, so don't bug me."

Harry was unfortunately too deep in thought ruminating the latest knowledge to react at being dismissed like that, in his own body at that. Right before he exited the room and Umbridge almost called for his head, the helpful being stopped and turned.

"Oh right, before i leave, i expect two things from you in the near future, Minister Fudge. One, my godfather, Sirius Orion Black, did not betray my parents and did not receive a trial before being thrown into Azkaban for fifteen years. Considering he is the sole living inheritor of the Black family, i would have expected better from you pureblood lot. Second, i want my house back. No delays, no whining, no loopholes. I will not ask again. Cheers!"

Leaving behind a quite thoughtful group of the smarter witches and wizards and a quite rowdy group of the not-so-smart ones, 'Harry Potter' opened the door of the courtroom and confidently strode through it, only to come face to face with one surprised Lucius Malfoy. Examining each other for a moment, the being knew its time grew shorter by the second, so he was quite blunt in his speech.

"Mr Malfoy. Like some of your fellow groupies present at my sham of a trial will tell you should you ask, Riddle killed your father to gain access to the Malfoy wealth. Do with that information as you wish. Good day!"

A flabergasted Malfoy was left behind, not even managing to say a word. Staring at the departing young man's back until he was out of sight, his mouth clicked closed and he turned to wait for his colleagues to exit. A thoughtful Dumbledore was the first to come out. Instead of a few barbs being exchanged, the old man stared at Lucius with a genuine pitying gaze. He seemed to want to say something, but just shook his head instead and left in silence. Each and every participant that passed his way looked at him with weird gazes such as pity, reluctance, derision, comiserance or condescension. His fellow marked finally gathered together and with knowing eyes movements, they understood a private gathering was needed.

Harry and 'Harry' meanwhile were walking towards Mr Weasley who seemed quite restless, waiting with a few other Order members.

"Alright kid, this is it! Before I go, i want you to know that i influenced everyone in that courtroom to shut up more, listen and think. Same for yourself. Don't think i could've said that much otherwise, magicals are too stubborn for reasonable conversation! Anyway, whatever changes from now on, it should be for the better, but remember that some deaths really cannot be avoided. Give your best, trust yourself and most importantly, trust your loved ones! They care! They need you as much as you need them! Give Sirius a real hug when you get back, he really needs it! Then punch him, because you're not James. He needs it even more! Good luck, kid! I'm out."

Harry finally found himself back in control of both body and mind. He felt the being rush away and even a bit of another force chasing after him, quite a bit angry, and this somehow made him chuckle. He felt much better now, his head much lighter and even his scar not upsetting him as much. Things would be better. He'll make sure of it.