In the middle of a dark alley, the fall air crisp and cold, a man appeared. He didn't appear through a dark portal, in a trenchcoat while smoking a cigarette, slowly killing his lungs to make sure he seemed really cool to the audience. He didn't appear out of a door, wearing meager clothes and huddling down, trying to conserve warmth to show his vulnerability and humanity.
No, this man appeared in a quick flash of light, leaving a smell behind that would remind anyone who unfortunately let it into their nose of wood pulp. It would be impossible for any layperson on the street to give a single concrete descriptor for this man, if or when a government agent questioned them about seeing such an event, aside from his height (average) and his build (a bit of a dad-bod). The reason for this was that his entire body was covered with a bright green costume, with yellow lines and a pair of antennae coming from his head.
Looking around the alley, the man began to grumble. "Oh, good one, Ambush Bug. Now, I'm in Qurac, of all places. I've tried Gotham City, Metropolis, even the Big Apple!" Sinking to his knees in existential despair, the hero(?) began to embrace the ennui. "No protagonists! No narrative! No audience!" Instinctually, he turned his head to face a direction and cried, "What am I going to do?!"
Then, he blinked. Or at least, one must assume he did, considering his head was covered by a mask. He looked around, feeling something he knew quite well, only in an entirely new variant. "I'm...here? Possibly?" He briefly looked in the air, as if expecting to see something there, but there was nothing by his warm breath visible in the air. "No speech bubbles? So...do I not need to bold important words for the readers?" Scratching his head, he rose to stand again, and brushed off his knees. "Well, this is certainly novel. Well, based on this prose, more likely fan-fiction, but still.
"The written words a new thing for me," he explained to the person reading this right now. "See, I was born in comics, they're still my favorite. Very visual, I can just read the pictures and ignore everyone else's word balloons. Then, I was in a Tabletop RPG Module." He shuddered, like a spider was crawling up his back. "Let me tell you, having to hijack GM's bodies to be a character is not the way I like to live my life, not at all."
Ambush Bug spat onto the ground. Or at least, he tried to, but once again his mask got in the way, leaving his spit inside his costume with him. Gross. "But even that was kinda visual! And then...and then...my crowning achievement!" Posing dramatically, in a way he probably thought looked amazing but any onlooker would charitably describe as 'really heckin' weird', he exclaimed, "Batman: The Brave and The Bold! I got to be in the series finale, and voiced by the Fonz! The Foooooonnnnnnnzzzzzzz!" Dropping to his knees as he shouted the name of Henry Winkler's most famous role, he then quickly added, "Oh, and I guess I was in an MMO too, that was a thing."
Looking from left to right, seeing only descriptions, vague ones at that, rather than the gorgeous pencils and color work of Keith Giffen and Anthony Tollin, the pathetic excuse for a hero actually started to cry. "There's no art! Just words! They're my least favorite parts of the comics, and they're all I have now!" He tried to look at the reader, only to realize another failing of his current medium. "There's no Fourth Wall, no page to stare at, giving the illusion I'm looking at you!" With no other choice, he realized exposition was his only true tool. "Please, for the love of Kirby, look me up online! I've got a Wikipedia page, and even better, I'm on TvTropes! Read my other stories, and save me from this alphabetic nightmare!" Then, just before the interlude scene ended, Ambush Bug looked back at an earlier description. "Hey, what do you mean 'pathetic excuse for a hero'?"
