Chewing habit

Braidscoffeeava asked for a oneshot of Snow noticing that adult Emma has a need to put things in her mouth (pen, gum, biting nails, etc.). When she asks Emma about it, she says a psychiatrist told her it was because she wasn't fed enough as a baby.

(Although I feel you might want to know most of Freud's work has been discredited).

JRocks: Sorry, I'm just not really getting it :S

Snow didn't think she ever saw her daughter without something in her mouth. If she wasn't eating actual food, she was chewing on a pen, or a stick of gum. Sometimes she'd even catch her biting her nails. Snow didn't know exactly what it was. Was it some kind of nervous thing? Snow supposed there was only one way to find out; ask her. So when Snow caught her chewing on her pen one evening, she decided this was her moment.

"Did I not feed you enough at dinner?" Snow teased her daughter gently. Emma looked across at her mom, confused. "The pen." Snow explained. "You're chewing on it like a carrot stick."

"Oh." Emma said, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Sorry." She added as she took it out her mouth. "Bad habit."

"Don't be sorry, it's ok." Snow assured her, sitting beside her on the couch. Was she about to finally get some answers? "…Do you know how this bad habit started?" Snow asked. Emma new moved to biting her lip. She did know, but she wasn't sure her mom would want to know. "It's ok." Snow said reassuringly. She covered Emma's hand with her own. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But if you feel able to, I think it would be interesting to know." Snow told her. Emma sighed.

"Listen, just don't feel bad, ok?" Emma asked. She hated when people felt bad for her in general, it could only be worse if it was her mom feeling bad for her. Especially given the situation. Snow nodded, now feeling more than a little apprehensive. Emma began to drum her foot against the floor, thinking about how she would start this. "One of my foster families dragged me to a psychiatrist about it when a pen burst in my mouth. They were worried I would poison myself. The psychiatrist didn't take long to come up with a reason. Apparently it's common with people who weren't fed enough as babies. It took a while for Pinocchio to get us help when we came through the wardrobe." Emma added. Snow felt like she'd just been hit by a bus. She didn't so much care about Emma's habit of always needing something in her mouth, everyone has a bad habit somewhere. She cared that her baby was left starving for so long that a bad habit for life developed. "It's fine, really. It's not like I can remember it." Emma reminded her. "I was placed with my first family pretty quickly after that, far as I can piece together. You know I was with them for three years, and they were good to me. I was never hungry with them, far as I know. It was just a small amount of time…"

"A small amount of time that you've carried with you your whole life." Snow pointed out.

"Mom." Emma sighed. This was exactly what she didn't want to happen. "Really, it's no big deal. So I chew on a pen every once in a while? Or I support the local economy with my chewing gum habit? Really, it's fine." Emma said. Snow could tell she was shutting down. She didn't want to delve deeper into the meaning behind this habit. Snow didn't think now was a good time to push her on it. She would let this rest for now.

"Ok." Snow said, forcing a small smile on her face. "Ok Em. If you say it's fine, then I'll believe you." She told her. Emma nodded, her foot still tapping away. Snow couldn't help but frown as she watched it. Whenever she thought they'd come so far with Emma, with her walls and her insecurities, something happened that reminded them that no amount of work could ever completely undo nearly thirty years of damage.