A/N
I really tried to get this chapter out on Christmas for you guys, only the words never seemed right and I spent the past week writing and rewriting it to no avail.
I am in fact a failure.
Happy late Christmas?
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, only an imagination.
I wasn't going to cry.
That's what I told myself over and over as I gazed blankly down at the open history textbook on my desk. Two seats away a student began to read out a passage to the class, and while I pretended to follow along in truth I was stuck two pages back, still trying to make sense of the paragraph before me. It was a mess of half sentences, and the rest of the words wouldn't come to me no matter how hard I glared at the stupid thing. My face heated in embarrassment, and I tugged on my braid in irritation, resisting the urge to throw my textbook across the room.
I had been Tsukino Usagi for almost a month now, and in theory I shouldn't have had any trouble keeping up with a class full of middle school students. This was reality though, and in reality no amount of cheat sheet memories could make up for the fact that Japanese just wasn't my mother tongue. Speaking the language came far more naturally to me than reading or writing in it did; written words didn't always translate cleanly in my mind, and oftentimes I needed a few moments to even comprehend what I was reading.
The problem was that there never seemed enough time, and that left me three steps behind everyone else. Frustration was an old friend of mine, especially when it came to school, but the humiliation of physically struggling to keep pace with all the other thirteen year old students? That was an entirely new sensation for me, and a bitter pill to swallow. It wasn't as if I was unintelligent, or couldn't understand any of the concepts being taught; my only genuine trouble was that all the work might as well have been written in code, one that I hadn't been able to fully grasp as of yet.
In light of that it sounded unreasonable to condemn myself when I made a mistake or needed a little more time to understand a sentence or two; in fact, it was exceptional progress for someone in my situation, perhaps even impressive if one considered that my knowledge of the Japanese language was based off of someone who hadn't exactly been known for her academic achievement. Nevertheless, acknowledging this did very little to ease the shame I felt at having to stumble through what everyone else around me had little problem learning.
As the class turned to another page I started to think that maybe just this once there was no harm in giving in to defeat; I had no hope of catching up right now and besides, it was a Friday so I had all weekend to torture myself with it. I folded my arms over the textbook, planning to settle into a well-deserved nap when something occurred to me. Was there really even a point in going to history class? I was pretty sure the moon and earth kingdom had been an important event in history, and if no one knew about it then what else had they missed?
How much of history here was even accurate?
My musings were cut short as the final bell rang, putting an end to my misery and dismissing us for the day. A cacophony of noise filled the room as students began to collect their things, chatting excited among themselves. I packed my bag with careless abandon, turning a blind eye to the assigned homework being passed around by the teacher. I really didn't need any more history work to stress over, and so as Sensei wormed his way down the rows with surprising speed, I was left with no other option than to abandon my desk and make a bid for freedom before he had the sense to stop me.
Being among the shortest of the class had its advantages, and I managed to slip out the door unnoticed. A flash of red hair caught my eye as I scurried away from the classroom, and it was the only warning I received as Naru appeared out of thin air and narrowly avoided crashing into me.
"Woah, careful there," She laughed. "I was looking for you."
"Oh? Walk with me then." Naru didn't get a chance to answer as I linked arms with the girl and began dragging us away. I'd been hoping to avoid anyone unsavory today, but some things just couldn't be helped and if I had to choose between her and history work then Naru was the obvious choice. The need to put distance between myself and the classroom had us striding down the hallway at a brisk pace.
In the background a voice sounding suspiciously like Sensei's called out my name, which only spurned me to move faster. I sensed Naru turning to see who it had been and I tugged her forward. "Hurry up now, we don't want to stray."
"Geez, where's the fire?"
"We're in school, the fire's everywhere." I weaved around group of upperclassmen and turned, slowing to join a herd of students heading down the stairs. "That's why we call it hell."
"Ain't that the truth," Naru sighed, untangling herself from me. "I don't even want to think about how much homework they piled on us today. Exams aren't even for a couple weeks and I'm already drowning in work, you know?"
"Yes, I'm acquainted with the feeling." More than she knew. "Anyway, you said you were looking for me?"
"Oh, right. Okay, so hear me out," She began, perking up. "I know you said you weren't feeling up to doing anything for your birthday this year, but-"
"Can we not do this?" I interrupted. "I really don't see what the big deal is, parties are for kids and it isn't like turning fourteen is some kind of mile stone."
Only over my cold, dead body would I go on to celebrate and accept gifts on behalf of Serenity, who hadn't even made it to her fourteenth birthday this time around; there were simply too many things wrong with that picture. Naru was like a dog with a bone about it and despite my adamant refusal she didn't seem keen on giving up just yet. A frosty glance from my end made her expression tighten, but she seemed to get a clue and the subject was dropped.
Conversation became a bit stunted after that, and for the thousandth time I found myself wondering why I even bothered. It wasn't as if there was anything wrong with Naru or the other girls in her group, because they were all nice enough; however, it was Serenity that had chosen to befriend them, and I certainly wasn't her. I was Usagi 2.0, and I was getting tired of the way everyone looked at me when I didn't meet their expectations. I liked Naru, but she could really drain me at times and I knew that I often got on her nerves.
Neither of us had chosen each other.
I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not when we reached the building entrance to find someone waiting for us at our lockers. Yumiko was a classmate, and another one of Serenity's friends. She was a sweet girl, but I had learned that as with Naru I could only handle her in small doses. Yumiko straighten up upon catching sight of us, and as we approached I began brainstorming possible ways to excuse myself without being rude.
"Hey guys!" She chirped. "Can you believe the amount of homework we got today? I was so pumped to spend this weekend relaxing and then they dump this workload on us on a Friday of all days, as if anyone is actually going to do it."
"I know right?" said Naru. "Did you check the math assignment? It's three whole pages of problems, front and back; I almost died when I saw them. Just thinking about it is depressing me."
"Well then, I know something that'll lift our spirits." Yumiko smiled excitedly. "There's this boutique down by the arcade that's having a killer sale right now. Apparently they're closing up soon and they need to sell all the merchandise off."
The prospect of shopping seemed to brighten Naru's mood, and she turned to her friend with large, pleading eyes and a hopeful expression. "You're being for real, right Yumi-chan? You wouldn't be cruel enough to lie about something as important as this?"
"No way!" The other girl laughed. "That'd be too harsh, even for me."
"We definitely have to go, like right now."
I could see where this was going, and there was not a doubt in my mind of how my day would end if I went along with them. After making the grave mistake of allowing myself to be talked into spending a day out with them not only once, but twice, I had resolved to make myself the least available girl in all of Japan. I felt guilty about the fact that their friend was gone and that I'd taken her place, but not guilty enough to subject myself to a soul-sucking afternoon of empty chatter and whatever else it was that they got up to when I wasn't around.
I shifted, clearing my throat. "Ah, I'm going to have to pass this time."
Both girls paused for a moment, sharing a loaded glance. Neither seemed all that surprised, which was fair enough considering the numerous times I had declined their invitations. Yumiko didn't put up much of a fight, merely sighing in resignation; it was Naru that did not look to be receptive of whatever nonsensical excuse she knew lurked at the tip of my tongue.
"You of all people are going to pass on the chance to shop?" Her tone was one of disbelief. "It's like I don't even know you anymore."
"I just- I'm way behind on homework and you know how my mom is." The lie came easy. "Besides, I am so beyond broke it isn't even funny. Maybe… maybe next time though?"
"Yeah, I guess." She replied dubiously.
We both knew better though.
It'd always be next time.
I'd settled into something of a routine a while ago, and this weekend wasn't any different.
Most of my time outside of school was spent exploring the surrounding areas until the sun had set, and only then would I return to the Tsukino residence. Staying in the house for too long made me uncomfortable, knowing I didn't truly belong there, so I tried to stay away for as long as I could without raising anyone's alarms. Home was a place I had yet to find, so for now the Tsukino residence would simply have to do.
These days the house held an air of cautious optimism, and everyone seemed to walk on eggshells around me. If I was being honest though, that was definitely my fault; acceptance of what was now my body, my life, hadn't happened overnight. I'd had a few moments of lost composure, where I might have had a minor freak out or two, but I was only human and objectively speaking this situation of mine was more than any reasonable person could be expected to handle.
The real issue wasn't my mental state though; it was Tsukino Ikuko and her accursed timing. The woman always seemed to be around when I was at an extremely low point; like some sixth sense, it was her superpower.
A week in I'd reached my limits with all the hair. It was suffocating, impossible to groom, and it kept getting caught in everything from zippers to doors. I loathed having so much of it, and one night as I sat in the bedroom trying to detangle the mess I decided that enough was enough. Ikuko had found me in the bathroom, surrounded by long golden strands and sporting a horribly uneven haircut. It probably hadn't helped that my eyes had been glossy with tears of anger and utter spite.
She'd been kind enough to even it out, the length barely reaching the small of my back. That was only one of many embarrassing moments that the Tsukino family had apparently attributed to being a teenage girl on the brink of womanhood or some similar nonsense. These days they rarely bothered with me so long as I didn't act like a criminal, and for that I was thankful, because while I could play the part of the loving but absentminded daughter it took far more energy than I really had.
But I digress.
It stormed most of the weekend, forcing me to take refuge in libraries and cafés rather than sucking it up and staying at the house. I would eat glass to avoid running the risk of social obligation compelling me to spend time with my pseudo family. Sunday morning I managed to escape the house, but not before the Tsukinos could smother me in guilt with a birthday breakfast and a startling amount of money that came with the order to not come home before getting myself something nice.
I left with a sneaking suspicion that the pile of allowance money sitting in the bottom of my purse hadn't gone unnoticed. I had been hesitant to spend what was technically their money, but if they really wanted me to use it then I was hardly in the position to deny them, even if it left a bad taste in my mouth.
The rain had stopped sometime in the night, leaving gray skies in its wake and an overall muted atmosphere that reflected my mood. The air was heavy as if in anticipation of another storm, though the forecast had promised clear skies in the afternoon. For a while I wandered aimlessly, down quiet streets that twisted and turned, stuck in my own musings. I only stumbled back into awareness when the strangest sensation washed over me and made my hair stand on end.
For a moment I blinked, unsure what had been the cause of my unease. Then I noticed an open path directly across the street, and though it appeared perfectly ordinary something about it raised my curiosity. Trees artfully decorated both sides of it, purposely cut so that the green leaves hung over, giving the illusion of a tunnel along the pathway. It called to me, and without ever making the conscious decision I found my feet moving down the winding trail.
There were few places I had yet to explore in the Azabu-Juuban district, and this seemed to be one of them. Two minutes passed before the path opened up to reveal my destination, a large, open park with a fountain at its center and benches scattered around. There was a lake a little ways off and more paths that led to places unknown. The park was lively despite the gloomy day as families and couples went about their own business.
I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting, but this somehow wasn't it.
There was nothing out of place here, none of the people seemed off or stuck me as odd. I surveyed the area to no avail, double checking for anything out of the ordinary. Doubt began to creep in as the minutes passed and my investigation proved to be fruitless, and with that came frustration.
Why had I felt compelled to come here?
I rubbed at my temple, and turned to leave when someone collided with me. I lost my balance on the slick pavement, falling sideways onto the wet ground. My right arm and hip bore the brunt of the impact the pain reverberating through me.
"Oh god, I'm sorry." A panicked voice said from above me. "I didn't see you there."
Obviously. I thought resentfully.
With gritted teeth I sat up, mentally taking in the damage while preparing to rip the person a new one; The ground was dirty and wet, my right side was beginning to throb, and half the skin on my elbow had scraped off. My expression was one of irritation as I glared up at the man, a few rude phrases at the tip of my tongue; but the words caught in my throat as I took in wide, cobalt blue eyes, dark hair, and an alarmingly familiar face twisted in concern.
This wasn't happening.
"Are you hurt?" He knelt at my side, moving his hands around my shoulders as if to lift me up. His searching gaze paused at the blood that had begun to flow freely down my arm. "I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you."
I didn't answer as he brought me to my feet, in fact all I could do was stare incredulously at the man before me.
Mamoru Chiba, in the flesh.
How unlucky could I possibly be?
A/N
I am back guys!
So many of you posed the very important question of which Sailor Moon anime I would be following, and the answer is a hellish combination of Crystal and the original. Both have their merits, and I don't see why we can't have the best of both worlds, you know? So there's that.
Also, before the lot of you ask I will just say that we won't be reaching the beginning of canon for at least three more chapters. I have so many plans for this in the works and I have a rough draft for the next couple chapters so expect updates and please forgive me for all the horrible months I left you guys hanging.
Anyway
Thoughts? Questions?
Please Review!
