Avoiding Mamoru Chiba turned out to be a much more difficult task than I had previously anticipated.

See, I'd had a plan, and with that plan came a map detailing which places I could and couldn't cross into. Every night I went over that damn thing, memorizing streets that could potentially lead me into any red zones and generally just getting better familiarized with the surrounding area.

Now, the flaw was not exactly to be found within the map, or the plan itself; life was a mix of trial and error, and right now I was simply learning what places I might have overlooked and where adjustments needed to be made. It was micro-managing, fine tuning the system under which I operated, so any near misses or close calls I might have had did not under any circumstances mean that the plan was a failure.

Rather, I was in enemy territory and still getting the hang of things.

Perseverance was key, and I had more than enough time to work on it. When I wasn't toiling over school, I was strategizing over the future; how soon until the sailor scouts arrived, what to do if I found myself caught up in one of their battles, how long it would take me to gather the funds to flee the city, my enemies on a scale of one to ten. Day after day I thought of possibilities, the angles I could work in worse case scenarios, the endless train of thought constantly hovering in the back of my mind, whispering what if?

It was a… unpleasant way to live, but I didn't know how to stop it, and who could blame me?

I was scared.

Aliens wanted to take over the world, kill us all, and I was expected to fight them off. It was insane, because what could I possibly do? I didn't know how to fight, I wasn't a leader or brave or anything. I was a nineteen year old girl, with an unspecified major and an allergy to cats. I had asthma, couldn't run a damn mile, and I was easily startled; I couldn't do the whole soldier of justice thing, I just- I couldn't.

All I could do was work on getting away.

But first I had to make it through finals.

"You have until the end of the hour to finish the questions." Our sensei watched us sternly, lips thin and eyes sharp as a hawk. "Once the hour is up you must put down your pencils, no exceptions. If you finish early flip the answer sheet over and remain in your seat. There will be no talking until the hour is up, and cheating will not be tolerated; anyone caught doing so will result in the forfeit of their test, receiving a zero on the exam. You may begin."

As one, the class flipped their exam sheets and began.

It was our final test, and thankfully, it was math. I hadn't done so great with the other subjects, but math was something I could keep up with. It differed slightly in japan, but like most things for me here it was just another puzzle to be decoded. Compared to the other tests, this one had a minimal amount of words to work through, and luckily a good amount of them were repetitive throughout the test, making it easier to understand the questions the further in I was.

I hadn't done very well on the other tests, my little handicap called the language barrier having slowed me down, but I was pretty confident I'd passed and in the long run that was really the only thing that mattered. I wasn't the first person done with my test, but I was definitely in the above average percentile. When I finished, I flipped my test sheet face down as instructed and propped my chin on the open palm of my hand. With little else to do, I let my mind wander.

It'd been over three weeks since I last met Mamoru, and over two weeks since the letter had been sent. I couldn't help but wonder whether it had arrived at its destination yet; if so, did that mean Sailor Venus was on her way? I hoped that was the case, because any other possibility did not bode well for me. If she was here, would she meet up with Luna? Would she be looking for the other Sailor Scouts? Hell, would she even be able to find them?

I wished I could've given her more information, but unfortunately I didn't really remember anything of use to her. The only reason I even recalled her full name was because of the pun in it; soldier of love indeed. The other's last names were lost to me, and though I knew Rei lived in a shrine somewhere in the area, it wasn't something I had really wanted to put in writing. Knowing a name was one thing, but it might have been a bit alarming to let on anything more personal, like an address or occupation.

Plus, Rei was someone I would prefer to be found last.

That sixth sense of hers could cause problems for me, and there wasn't much I could do about it either.

"Alright, the hour is up." Sensei said, his voice booming. "Flip your test sheets and pass them forward!"

As the bell rang, releasing us for the day, there was an atmosphere of relief among the class. It was the final test of the week, and a Friday, which left us with a nice break before we went back on Monday to see the results of our work. Wednesday would be the last day for us before the beginning of break, and with any luck I wouldn't have to do summer school. Summer vacation was nearly six weeks, and I intended to make full use of it. I followed the flow of students, down the stairs and to my locker, where trouble leaned against the locker next to mine, waiting for me.

"Well, that was a nightmare." Naru muttered, tucking a strand of curly red hair behind an ear before crossing her arms. "If I never have to take another test again, it will be too soon."

I hummed my agreement as I opened my locker and switched shoes. To the passing observer Naru appeared casual and unconcerned, but there was an intent gleam in her gaze that told another story. This was more than simple small talk, Naru was on a mission.

"Yeah, you know Yumi-chan was really stressed about it." She began, tone uncharacteristically serious. "Her parents can be mega strict sometimes, and totally uncool about it. The girls and I wanted to cheer her up, so we're going out for ice cream and shopping."

"Ah." My voice was neutral, and I had a feeling I knew where this was going.

Naru, not really one to dance around the subject, cut straight to the point. "You've been busy lately, I get that. Yumiko could use the support right now though, and she'd be really happy if you came along."

She didn't say it in a questioning tone, she wasn't actually asking; there was weight here, in this moment and I sensed we were at a turning point. My decision here was important, maybe not weight-of-the-world so, but it mattered all the same. Naru had never been my favorite person, she was the typical preteen; very in tune to what was cool and what wasn't, prone to gossip, and crazy about the latest trends.

That said, there was something that separated Naru from others and it was part of the reason she was so popular. When push came to shove, Naru truly cared about the people around her, and she wasn't afraid to call anyone out when something they did had rubbed her wrong.

I wasn't Serenity, I wasn't obligated to stick by her friends or follow the path she'd been walking. However, the way Naru was currently looking at me left the distinct impression that somehow I was doing wrong by her. I was kind of irritated, and not for the reasons I should have been; she was humbling me and it was working. God knew I didn't owe these people anything, we were strangers with no ties, but.. that was only my perspective of things. Serenity's friends were just kids, and I was doing my best to distance myself from them and they didn't understand why.

Maybe I was obligated to this, a single day every once in a while when they truly needed me to play along. It wouldn't cost much, and eventually they'd realize how far the drifted between us was, and they would move on. In the midst of plots and scheming, I could afford to take a break. Good karma and all that.

I shrugged. "I've got some time on my hands to spare."

Naru beamed.

"Time's ticking." She linked arms with me, and off we went.

The other girls were waiting for us at the school gates, and they all seemed happy at my presence as we left the school behind, talking more animatedly than I remembered and filling me in on any gossip I wasn't aware of. I was on high alert as we strolled closer to the busier area of town, crossing right into one of the red zones I'd been avoiding. Because of this I was only able to listen halfheartedly to the girls, too concentrated on our surroundings.

I had an advantage in evading Mamoru, and part of it was his lack of knowledge concerning me; I knew his home and school, but by withholding a last name from him there was no way for Boy Scout to look me up. This made the Tsukino residence and the middle school the only two green zones for me, where I was the safest. However, that would be ruined if I was to be spotted in my school uniform. All it would take for me to run out of safe places would be for Mamoru to approach one of my classmates, inquiring over me.

So it was possible that I might have been a little tense as our group sat down at the sweets shop and began ordering. To be fair though I made an honest effort to be part of the conversation, and I appeared to do a well enough job of it as Naru paid less and less attention to me as the day wore on. Yumiko, for her part, looked to be having a great time, leading us around to various shops after we'd filled ourselves full. It was nice to see them having fun, but there was also an emptiness accompanying the feeling. I was here with them, but we weren't in this together.

It was a chore, like taking out garbage or cleaning dishes.

It was a shallow imitation of something I used to have, and nothing more. The girls continued to prance about the streets and I resigned myself to following, mind curiously blank, when we turned a corner and something caught my eye. Just ahead of us stood an older boy, sporting martial arts clothing and attempting to hand out flyers to anyone that would take one. One or two people slowed long enough to receive one, but most just ignored him, eyes forward and expression indifferent.

I slowed and listened in to what he was saying as we grew closer, curiosity getting the better of me.

"-noble art of Aikido, the first lesson is free!" He waved a flyer at a man only to receive a dirty look in return. Naru and the other girls didn't bat an eye as they began to pass him, but I paused, in turn catching the older boy's attention. He grinned at me, stepping forward to cut in between myself and the girls. "Now you have the look of someone interested. Tell me, do you have any experience in martial arts?"

"Not really, no." I replied. Yumiko, having noticed my absence, paused to watch as the older boy nodded understandingly. He was watching me, but I focused on her long enough to catch the once over she gave him before coming to stand next to me. She flushed as he gave her a bright smile, happy to have an audience.

"That's alright." He said, leaning in slightly. "I'll let you two in on a secret, aikido is the best martial art to learn, anyone can do it with the right motivation."

"Really?" said Yumiko.

"Definitely!" The older boy laughed. "I bet pretty girls like you have problems keeping guys away. Aikido is about using the opponent's strength against them, it's a form of self-defense that works well against bigger people, and like I said, the first lesson is free."

Self-defense?

I accepted a flyer from him and pondered over it as Yumiko began to flirt. I didn't know much about martial arts or fighting in general, it had always seemed a little out of my league, bit given the situation it couldn't hurt to check it out. Fighting didn't exactly appeal to me, it was the part about defending that drew me in, the idea of not being completely useless if I ever needed to defend myself; well, that and the whole first lesson free thing. After all, what were the odds that I wasn't going to find myself in a bad situation sooner or later?

If I was going to be traveling on my own in the future, how likely was it that someone would try to take advantage of me? Now that the idea was cemented in my mind, I couldn't help but think there had to be a hundred different forms of self-defense. With the right resources, perhaps I'd be able to learn them all.

Anything to raise my chances of survival.

"When's the next class?" I asked, unintentionally interrupting Yumiko. I glanced at her in apology, but this was more important than her conquest, I had to know.

The older boy looked at me, his expression taking a serious turn as though he was considering something. Then the blinding smile was back as he answered. "There's a beginner's class tomorrow morning, at nine. Any other questions you have will be answered there, and after you can decide if it's something you'd like to continue."

"Thanks." I studied the flyer once more, letting Yumiko take hold of the conversation.

It was just one class, and it was free.

What did I have to lose?


The next morning I was up with the sun and out the door at the usual eight a.m.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail as I walked, smoothing the fabric of my black tank top as I grew closer to the red zone. The sweatpants I wore were made of a lighter material, suitable for a workout but not so thick as to make me overheat in the summer warmth. It was a cloudless, sunny day and I would have basked in this sort of weather were it not for the paranoia plaguing my decision to willingly enter a hotspot of my own accord.

The reward far outweighed the risk though, it was too good an opportunity to pass up so there was nothing to be done about it. I didn't intend to go around fighting people, but if they came at me I wanted to be able to live through the experience.

In fact, I was determined to.

The supernatural world wasn't the only threat to be wary of, regular people could be equally dangerous and it would be stupid of me to pass up the chance of one day being able to hold my own against an attacker. My resolve to live was what kept me steady as I made my way down the shopping district to the address on the flyer.

Even though I arrived early, when I entered the dojo there were several other newcomers already here. They were dressed in workout clothes as well, all having removed their shoes before stepping further in. I followed suit, untying my own shoes and setting them aside before joining the crowd. As we waited I found myself observing the dojo and its layout; the room was long and rectangular, more spacious than I had expected, and the walls were sparsely decorated.

I had never seen a dojo before, so as far as I knew there was nothing abnormal about the place. That said, I couldn't help contemplating the usefulness of wooden floor mats. I imagined it wouldn't feel too good to fall onto one like this rather than a nice, cushioned gym mat. Then again, maybe it was supposed to serve as an incentive, to not allow the opponent to get the better of you or something; perhaps it was one of those No Pain No Game type of things.

Only three more people joined us before the lesson began and we met the man in charge, Hajime-sensei.

Now, for reasons beyond me I had somehow gotten it into my mind that our instructor would be an old man with some words of wisdom to share. Hajime-sensei was a hulk of a man, and he looked to be about forty years younger than anticipated. Built like a tank and sporting a no nonsense attitude, he was intimidating to say the least. When he called for our attention and told us to sit in a circle around him, we scrambled into action. I highly doubted a single one of us here was about to disobey any order thrown our way; I half expected him to tell us to drop and give him fifty.

Instead, Hajime-sensei looked us square in the eye and said. "You are gathered here today because you are interested in learning the art of aikido, and I'm sure many of you have questions but before we can delve into any of the finer details there is something I must first tell you and it is this: everything you think you might know about aikido is more than likely wrong."

He paused for a moment, allowing us to soak in his words before continuing.

"You see, aikido is not like other martial arts. As a wise man once said, aikido is the realization of love. If the appeal of strength, of the ability to defeat your adversaries and claim victory over them is what brought you to my dojo, then this is not the place for you. Aikido is non-resistance, not about fighting and defeating enemies but about reconciling the world; it is a mission to protect, nurture, and love all things."

A pit of unease swelled in me when I considered my motivation.

I was here because I enjoyed the idea of being strong enough to defend myself, of having the skill to hurt anyone attempting to hurt me. I didn't actually want to hurt anyone, but I couldn't deny the hunger growing in me; to be able to take anything thrown my way and give it right back twice as hard. It must have been easier for these people to preach of love and follow the path of non-resistance; for them, danger wasn't around the next corner and physical altercation was only a faint possibility.

I didn't have that kind of luxury.

The world wasn't out to get me but it seemed to be hell bent on dragging me into something I wanted nothing to do with. For me, physical altercation was only a matter of time, and fleeing wouldn't always be an option. Aikido was a nice concept in theory, but my world simply didn't work that way; I certainly wasn't going to try and reconcile with someone trying to kill me.

Still, I wasn't going to walk away just yet.

"While you chew that over, I'd like to give a demonstration." Hajime-sensei said, turning and motioning to someone just out of my view. "Matsuo, if you would?"

Matsuo entered the circle into my line of sight, and to my surprise I recognized him; the older boy that had given me the flyer yesterday. Hajime-sensei introduced him as his assistant, and Matsuo waved to us, grin widening as he spotted me among the others. He turned to Hajime-sensei. "Go easy on me okay? I'm delicate."

The older man snorted, and then the two were circling each other. The demonstration was short, lasting only about ten seconds before Matsuo went from his feet to flipping onto the floor. I winced, thoughts going back to the practicality of the mats, but he didn't appear to be hurt, simply laughed good naturedly and taking Hajime-sensei's offered hand to get back up. Matsuo gave an exaggerated bow as the audience clapped, and then Hajime-sensei had us lined up to learn a wrist locking technique.

The rest of the lesson flew by quickly, where questions were asked and we learned about the fees and training schedule of the dojo. Though I wasn't sure I agreed with all of his beliefs, I liked Hajime-sensei and as long as I was welcome at the dojo I wanted to come back. When the lesson ended I finished putting my shoes back on when Matsuo approached me.

"So, what did you think?" He teased. "Is the great and noble art of aikido for you?"

"Well, I suppose we'll find out."

Matsuo brightened at that. "That's good to hear. You know, I had a feeling when I gave you that flyer yesterday, and it looks like I was spot on. Good instincts are a part of my training, Hajime-sensei will be proud."

"Undoubtedly." A laugh escaped me. "I'm sure your instincts are razor sharp."

"Hey, you wouldn't be here if they weren't." He pointed out, handing me a piece of paper. "Anyway, I figured you'd need a waiver; just have your parents sign it and bring in the money when you come back."

"Right." I glanced at the form blankly, having briefly forgotten my minor status. I would just have to forge a signature for it, there was no way I'd be able to bring myself to ask them. I'd also have to explain how I was going to pay for it, and that was a conversation I did not feel up to having. I turned my attention back to Matsuo. "This place does monthly payments right? Is cash okay here? My parents are pretty busy, I don't know when they'd have the time to come in and pay themselves."

He shrugged. "Cash, check, it all works as long as the payment is on time."

"Alright, thanks." I grabbed my bag and turned to leave when his hand shot out, fingers barely grazing my arm, and I paused.

"You're going to go without telling me your name?" There was amusement in his tone as he lowered his hand.

"Oh, sorry about that." It had slipped my mind. "my name's Usagi."

"Welcome aboard, Usagi-chan." Matsuo grinned mischievously. "Hopefully you'll be able to keep up with us big kids."

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." I turned toward the door and opened it before calling over my shoulder. "Later, Matsuo-chan."

The faint sound of laughter became muffled as the door shut behind me.


It was noon, and the sun was nearly blinding as I strolled down the street, leaving the dojo behind.

Hajime-sensei had left me with an uncomfortable amount of philosophical questions to agonize over, and despite my busy schedule today my mind kept drifting back to them. Summer break was coming up, making it an ideal time to begin my search for a job and that was how I found myself boarding a bus that went to the town's train station.

I had done the math and realistically speaking I could get a job pretty much anywhere within a thirty mile radius of the Tsukino residence so long as it was reachable by public transportation. The Azabu-Juuban district was only an itty bitty place in the Minato ward of Tokyo, and there was no reason I couldn't look for work outside of it. I claimed a seat next to the window and settled in, failing to not think about Hajime-sensei's words as the bus took off.

I'd thought my intentions were pure, going into the lesson, and even now I didn't consider them to be insidious but they hadn't been as genuine as I would have liked. I wasn't an altruistic person though, I wasn't going into this for anything other than my own selfish desire. At the core of things there was one basic truth to the majority of my actions, and it was that I valued my life and future above everyone else's.

A better person would have borne the burden thrust on them, would have taken up the mantle of Sailor Moon proudly and begun the battle for humanity. A better person would have put their life on the line because the fate of the world did rest on this war and the wars to come. A better person wouldn't be avoiding responsibility, wouldn't be running away even though they were scared; no, see a better person would stand and fight.

I wasn't a better person though, and I had already accepted my failings.

There was a prickle at the back of my neck as the bus stopped, allowing passengers off and on, before moving on again. I blinked, falling back into the world as someone seated themselves next to me and I turned my head to meet familiar blue eyes.

"Long time no see." Mamoru said, studying me.

"Boy Scout." The words came out bluntly, without thought as I stared back at him in alarm. His eyebrow twitched at the nickname, but Mamoru didn't comment on it. His torso was turned toward me, blocking any chance of escape and once again there was an intensity about him, hidden just under the surface as he watched me.

"How are you?" He asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Not having any more spills, I hope."

"Not as of late, no." I replied slowly. Then, because the situation was already shit and because I couldn't help myself, I gave a sugary smile and added. "I have been meeting some rather interesting people though. In fact, just yesterday there was an older boy I met on the street that showed me a pretty stellar place."

Mamoru's expression began to strain as I continued. "I wasn't too sure about his friend at first, seemed like the kind of person you really didn't want to meet in a dark alleyway, you know? It was certainly a learning experience though, and guys are always rough no matter where you go."

"Usagi.." Mamoru sounded as though he was in pain, and he was clearly questioning my sense of self preservation. "tell me you didn't let another stranger take you home."

"Technically, we didn't go to his home, and there were a bunch of other people there anyway."

"People you knew?"

"Not even a little bit."

Mamoru gave a long suffering sigh, and when he looked at me again it was with narrowed eyes. "You know, it's a bit odd we haven't run into each other in the past couple of weeks. There were a handful of times I could have sworn I'd seen you, from the corner of my eye or in the distance, always just out of sight."

"Yeah…odd." Maybe because I'd been running around the whole damn town working to avoid him.

God knew he wasn't making it easy on me.

"Well, now that we're here I suppose its moot point." He hummed. "I still have your clothes from last time; you should probably come by and get them at some point. Or I could bring them to you if you give me your address."

I gave a weak laugh. "You know what? Keep them, they're yours."

"What am I supposed to do with girl clothes?"

"Begin your crossdressing collection?"

"Call me crazy," He leaned closer. "but somehow I get the feeling that I'm being avoided."

Right, straight to it then.

"Well, you see, I'm not a big fan of social situations." I told him. "You could even say I'm not a big fan of people in general. I'll have you know that I have literally no friends, and this conversation is quickly filling my weekly quota of social interactions."

"Being alone all the time isn't a very healthy way to live."

His words stung more than they had any right to, and something in me grew cold.

"If I wanted your opinion on it I'd have asked." I snapped, turning away.

It was quiet for a few moments.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset." I sighed and rubbed at my temple. "What do you want from me, Mamoru?"

The question seemed to surprise him, and he gave a long pause before answering. "Have you ever felt… out of place? Like you're going through the motions of life, but you keep missing a step?" He must have saw something in me as I held his gaze, because then he added. "There are so many things in my life right now that are just out of reach, just beyond my grasp and it's exhausting."

The bus began to slow as it neared the next stop, and my attention was torn between it and him. I braced myself to stand when Mamoru pressed a palm to my shoulder, as though the light pressure would be enough to keep me there. "Look, I know I'm not really making any sense right now, and you don't owe me anything, but will you sit a little longer?"

I didn't want to stay, I really didn't; it was the raw sadness in those pretty blue eyes of his that held me in place as the bus doors closed. He relaxed as we began moving again, hand falling back to his side. I waited for him to continue what he'd been saying, but Mamoru couldn't seem to find the right words.

"…I'm getting the impression that you're on some kind of soul-searching quest." I began quietly. "I don't know what it is that you're chasing, some meaning to your life or a change from the mundane. I don't know and it isn't my business but I have to ask; are you certain that you aren't better off without whatever it is you're looking for?"

"It's just something I need to do." The intensity was back as we stared at each other. "I've reach a point where there isn't any going back."

I could understand that.

The chuckle that left my lips was bleak as the irony dawned upon me. What a pair we made, one chasing destiny and the other running from it.

"I think you're avoiding me," Mamoru accused. "and I want you to stop. See, we wouldn't even be here right now having this conversation if you'd just acted normal. There are a million things wrong in my life that I'm constantly on the run trying to change, and this isn't supposed to be one of them. I don't really have the time to chase another thing around town."

He was bothered, personally offended by my avoidance for the simple reason that it added me to the list of things out of his reach. Despite my amusement I couldn't make him any promises, we were after different things and I wasn't willing to give mine up to satisfy his needs.

I needed to get him off my back for now.

"I think you live in that apartment all alone." I told him. "It's a nice apartment, and you go to a nice school, so I think you have some serious money too. I'm willing to bet that the luxuries you have, came at a steep price most likely in the form of a tragic past. Most importantly, I think that despite everything you have it's just not enough and you go looking for something to fill that hole. That makes you trouble, especially if you're willing to cross lines and do things that risk what you have.

"I may not know you very well, but with the way you are now I have a feeling I'm better off not knowing."

I didn't give him time to make any sort of defense. I stood as the bus crawled to a stop once more, keeping my gaze downward as he let me through to the isle. I felt dirty as I told him I hoped he found what he was looking for, knowing he likely never would. I got off that bus as fast as I could, not knowing what part of town I was stepping into. It hardly mattered at this point, as I was never getting on another bus again; I'd walk everywhere for the rest of my life if it meant avoiding another confrontation. As the doors closed behind me I turned, catching those blues eyes for the briefest of seconds before the bus moved forward.

This time, they were blank.


A/N

This chapter was brought to you by Poor Life Choices,

I hope my inability to be a productive member of society made at least one of you guys happy.

Anyway, canon is closing in alarmingly fast so things for a certain someone can only go downhill from here. Cheers to better days right?

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!