Hello my loves! I know right? I actually gonna give you two chapters this week!? Lol yes, I am! I'm bored at work and done with all my work so why not use this time to write. Are you ready? Let's do this!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukio AT ALL! All the characters go to their rightful owners. The only thing I own is the story below.
Chapter 8
Kotoko POV
What am I doing? He hates me and he has every right to. I was never there for him. Not even when he was a baby and I can't just show up in his life, hoping he will welcome me with open arms. This is just useless...
I looked out the window of the subway to see the blackened walls before me. I knew this was a bad idea but I just have to try. Our family isn't one to quit so easily and I'll be dammed if I don't tell him what I have been wanting to tell him for years. I know he believes I ruined my last chance and I know I am walking into a war zone right now but he is just going to have to get over it.
He honestly thinks I don't know anything about him which is a falsehood. I know he is the Editor-in-Chief at Marukawa Publishing and that he brought that sorry-ass department back from the dead. I know he still goes and visits his grandmother. I knew he was gay even since that day...
Flashback
I sighed angrily as I stomped my way to the door.
This fucking asshole… I asked him to do one thing and that was to put my case file in my brief case and instead of doing this simple thing. He tells me he did it and just leaves. I swear to God I don't know how much longer I can deal with that man.
I walked into the house and took off my shoes. I went upstairs and found my case file in the same place I left it. I sighed once more as I tucked it under my arm and made my way down the hall. I passed my Masamune's room as I heard a deep chuckle.
Masamune is laughing!...
Against my better judgment, I decided to see what was going on. I opened the door to find Masamune pulling his face away quickly from some young man with brown hair and bright green eyes. Said man began to blush uncontrollably as Masamune just looked at me. What shocked me the most is that Masamune smiled at me then look at the young man.
"Mother, this is Ritsu." He looked at the man with such love and happiness. Ritsu smiled slightly as he bowed his head and said hello. He then looks at Masamune with same look. I looked at the table next to the door as I slightly smiled. I grabbed the camera and decided to take a picture of the two to capture this beautiful moment. They didn't even notice due them looking at each in a way I wished someone would look at me. I smiled as I told them to have fun and closed the door. As I made my way down the stairs I could heard Masamune laughing again which only made me smile with happiness.
Masamune finally found someone who makes him happy. I'm so glad.
End of flashback
Even since that moment I knew he was gay and was perfectly fine with it because at least someone was giving him the love and attention he deserved. However, his happiness was quickly gone and replaced with only darkness. I hated to see him like that and I hated myself even more because I only added to his pain by divorcing the man he thought was his father. Now, he is getting married to someone with the same name as his ex and I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same guy he has been hung up on for years. I just want to meet him and make sure he isn't going to disappear again and hurt Masamune. He has been through enough and I don't think he will be able to recover a second time.
"We are now arriving at our next stop." I stood up as I made my way to the doors. I stepped out into the night and made my way to the apartment.
I know this is going to end badly but I just need to see him…
Masamune POV
"Hello Masamune. Can you please let your mother inside?"
"No, get the fuck out. I told you once and I'll tell you again. I don't want anything to do with you. Stay away from us."
I started to close the door until I heard Ritsu behind me.
"Masamune, just give her a chance please." I laughed as I turned to look at him.
"No! How dare you even ask that of me!? I have told you how much she put me through and now you want me to let her into our home so she can just get my hopes up again then crush them into nothing!" He played with his hands as he licked his lips before speaking again.
"You are never going to be able to get everything off your chest unless you sit down and talk to her. I know its hard but we can do this together."
I looked down as I thought about what he said.
He is right and at least I can say everything I need to say and just let all of this baggage go.
I run my hand through my hair as I took a deep breath and opened the door for her to come in.
This is gonna be a long night…
Kotoko POV
I walked into their apartment as sat down. I started playing with the ring on my finger. I could feel Masamune eyes trying to read my every move. I saw Ritsu take his hand and give it a squeeze as I cleared my throat.
"I'm here because I need to tell you something that I have been holding in for a very long time and to meet your fiancé." I started as Masamune just huffed and sat back.
It's now or never…
"I wanted to tell that I can never began to tell you how sorry I am for how I treated you. I was a terrible mother and I always put work before you. I know that I can never take back what I did but I want you to know that I do regret it. I wish…" I was cut off by Masamune laughing as he looked at me coldly.
"Get the fuck our of my apartment. You not gonna come in here and think that a couple of 'I'm sorry' and boo-hoo sob stories are gonna make me run back into your arms. I have learned my lesson with you. You are nothing to me anymore."
"Masamune please just list…" He shot up from his seat as he screamed.
"No! FUCK YOU! YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR ME; NOT EVEN AS A CHILD! I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND THAT LEAD TO ME HATING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE! I CAN NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT! I HATE YOU! ALL I EVER WANTED WAS MY MOM AND ALL YOU COULD DO WAS SAY 'NOT NOW MASAMUNE, IM BUSY'. WELL GUESS WHAT MOTHER, NOW IM FUCKING BUSY SO GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE I PUT YOU OUT!" I looked at him in shock as I saw tears start to fall from his eyes. He cussed as he tried to wipe them away quickly. I stood up and tried to reach for him but he only moved back and looked at me with the most broken expression I've ever seen.
"Masamune, please! I didn't know what I was doing! I was so young when I had you and it scared me so much that I began to hate you. I know that is horrible thing to say but it's the truth. When I had you through, I looked down at this beautiful baby boy and everything made sense, only I didn't know if I could be the mother you needed. So, I just kept my distance and let your grandma take care of you. I didn't want to ruin your life so I just focused on mine. I know that wasn't the right thing to do but by the time I wanted to try, you already hated me." I watched as more tears fell down his eyes as he started to sob.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE UP FOR ANYTHING! I NEEDED YOU AND YOU WERE NEVER THERE! I JUST WANTED YOU TO HUG ME AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU NEVER DID! NOW, YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU HATED ME BECAUSE I RUINED YOUR LIFE!" I shook my head as tears started to fall down my eyes.
"You didn't ruin my life, Masamune. You saved it." I tried to reach for him again but he only pushed me away.
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" He screamed as he started to have panic attack. Ritsu then jumped up and pulled him into a hug as he tried to calm him down. Masamune let out everything as he sobbed in Ritsu's shoulder.
"I HATE YOU!" Sob… cough… "I Hate you!" Sob… Cough.. Shaky breath… "I fucking hate you…" Deep breath… more sobs and shushed breaths from Ritsu…
I felt my body shake as I watched Masamune break apart again. He was sobbing and screaming as Ritsu did everything he could to help him.
What have I done…
"Masamune… please…" I fell to the ground as everything I felt hit me all at one. All the hate, anger, sadness and darkness for myself took over once more and I started to break. I sat there on my knees as I cried loudly, my whole body shaking as I thought about everything did to hurt my baby boy.
"Mother…" I heard a broken whisper as I cried even louder.
"Masamune… please… I love you so much. I always did and I always will. Please just don't cry…" I cried out as I felt two arms wrap themselves around me. I looked up in shock as I saw Masamune looking uncertain on the floor. He patted my back awkwardly but I know what he was thinking.
I pulled him into a real hug as I heard him grasp. I held him tight to me as my crying slowly came to stop. I finally felt two shaking arms wrap themselves around me as tears hit my shoulder.
"Mom…" I squeezed him as I kissed his head.
"I love you, Masamune. I love you so much my baby boy."
Masamune POV
I hugged my mother back as more tears fell. In my head, I know I should let go and push her away. I knew that this was probably all just a scene. However, in my heart was the little boy who was begging to held by his mother.
I don't want this… I don't want this… Push her away Masamune… Don't get hurt again…
I went to move my arms until I got a whiff of her perfume
Mommy smells like strawberries… Mommy is holding me… Mommy… I love mommy
I sighed as I melted onto her arms. I couldn't fight it anymore. This is what I always wanted from her.
After what seemed like forever, she pulled back and looked at my face. A soft smile graced her face as she looked at me. She brought her hand up and placed it on my cheek and I couldn't help but nuzzle into her touch.
"I can't forgive you for everything yet but I'm willing to try and fix this if you can give me time." I watched a she looked to the side. She sighed as looked into my eyes and nodded her head slowly.
"I'll do whatever it takes, Masamune. I promise this time it will be different." I nodded as I let go of her and stood up. I looked at Ritsu who was smiling while watching us. I felt heat form in my cheeks as I rolled my eyes and took his hand.
I pulled him next to me as my mother stood up.
"Mom, this is Onodera Ritsu. We are getting married." Ritsu bowed as I smiled at him. I heard my mother chuckle warmly which shocked me as we both looked at her.
"I'm sorry, this just reminds me of the day I first met him." My eyes widened as I remembered the day she came home and I introduced her to him.
"You remember that?" I asked as Ritsu blushed light pink.
"Yes, I remember." I looked down as I squeezed Ritsu's hand.
"So… You don't care that your son is gay?" She laughed again as she shook her head.
"I don't care as long as you're happy Masamune."
"I am, mom. I'm happier then I have ever been when I'm with him." She nodded as she looked at Ritsu.
"May I speak to you alone, please?" Ritsu gulped as he looked at me.
"Mother, whatever you have to say to him you can say to me."
"Please Masamune, I just want to speak with him alone for a minute." I shook my head as Ritsu pulled on my shelve again.
"Masamune, it's okay. Let me just talk to her and then I'll come and get you, okay?" I sighed as I was about to fight him but he gave me his pleading eyes and I melt into pudding. I felt my lips thin as I looked at both of them.
"Fine." I huffed as I kissed his head and walked into the bedroom and closed the door.
I placed my ear against the door and try to listen but I couldn't hear them. I groaned as I walked over to the bed and flopped down.
What the hell are they saying!?
Kotoko POV
I sat down as Ritsu played with his hands. He looked nervous but he was willing to do this for Masamune. I smiled softly as I spoke up.
"You don't have to be nervous Onodera-san. I promise I'm not going to yell at you. I just need to make sure of something." Ritsu nodded as he sat back.
"I'll tell you anything, Mrs. Takano." I laughed as I shook my head.
"You can called me Kotoko. You will become my new son in law and it seems only fitting." Ritsu nodded shyly as light blush made it's way to his face again.
"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet but I'll try my best." I nodded as I decided I should just come out with it.
"Onodera-san, you know that I know that you were the one who cause Masamune to become very depressed and I know that it was in the past but I just want to make sure that you are not going to disappear on him again. He has been through enough and I don't think he could handle any more pain." His eyes widened as quickly shook his head.
"Mrs. Takan… Kotoko… I know I have hurt him in the past but everything is different now. We love each other more then we possible could and I don't want to ever leave his side. I have never been happier in my life and I don't want to see him hurt anymore either. I love him to much to ever break him again." I nodded as I processed what he said.
"I believe you. I can see it in your eyes." I sighed as I pushed my hair behind my ear. "I would now also like to thank you for giving Masamune something I never could. He is the man he is today thanks to you." Ritsu shook his head once more as he looked in my eyes.
"You don't need to thank me. Masamune would have figured his way through the world eventually. I just wish I could have been alongside him all this time instead of being stupid and leaving him."
"Ritsu, I think you are missing something here. Even through I agree with you, I wish you would have stayed too and that whatever happened between you two could have been fixed a long time ago. However, if it wasn't for you, Masamune would probably still hate the world and everything in it. You made him see that he didn't have to be so closed off and filled with rage. Even when he got super depressed, he eventually pulled himself together and I know that even if he doesn't want to admit it; it's because he wanted to be a better man for you. I know that deep down, he was always waiting for you." Ritsu blushed more as a soft smile made it's way onto his face.
"There is no one in this world like him and even through I fought him at first. I'm glad he kept pushing me because I don't know where I be without him in my life again." I smiled as I said we should probably let him back in. Ritsu laughed as he nodded his head and left to go get him. They came out and sat back down. I smiled at them as I decided it was time to give my blessing.
"I want you guys to know that I hope you have a beautiful marriage and that if you ever find yourself fighting… to just take a deep breath and try to work it out. Your love is a special kind of love that I don't want you two to lose. I could tell when you were teenagers and I can tell even more right now that there is no better match then you guys. I bless this marriage and I hope that you will let me be a part of it."
"You can come mom." Masamune smiled as he grabbed Ritsu hand and kissed it.
"Would you like to join us this Sunday at my parents too?" Ritsu smiled as Masamune nodded.
"Yeah, mom. I guess if we are gonna try to fix our relationship, we should spend more time together." I nodded and agreed as Ritsu wrote down the information and handed it to me.
I got up from my seat and Masamune walked me to the door. I pulled him into another hug.
"Be careful on your way home." I kissed his cheek which made him jump.
"I know it's going to take a lot of work to earn your trust again but I am willing to do anything to have you in my life son. I love you." He nodded as he blushed. He cleared his throat as he leaned down and pecked my cheek.
"Goodnight Mom." I walked away as I smiled happily.
Hopefully I can get it right this time...
Masamune POV
I sighed as I closed the door while leaning against it. I close my eyes as I run my hand through my hair.
It felt good to be held by my mother but I can't help but feel that Im setting myself up for heartbreak.
I felt two arms wrap themselves around me as I hummed deeply in my throat. I looked down to see my little Ritsu looking at me so cutely that it caused me to melt inside.
"Are you okay baby? I know that must have been hard for you."
"I don't know what to honestly feel. Part of me is happy that I might finally have a relationship with my mother but then part of me is thinking this is all just a show she put on for whatever sick reason she had this time." Ritsu stood on his tippy-toes as he kissed my cheek then buried his face in my neck.
"I don't think so babe. I think she really does regrets everything she did to you and wants to make up for all the time she has lost." I ruffed his hair as I pulled him into the kitchen.
"What did she say to you anyways?" Ritsu raised his eyebrow as he shook his head.
"I'm not telling." I snorted as I hugged him behind and started kissing his neck.
"Oh, I have ways of making you talk baby but first dinner." I smacked his ass as he yelped as hit my arm. "Help me cook so we can eat and I can take you to bed." I winked as he rolled his eyes.
"Yes Senpai~" I growled as I smacked his ass again. He just laughed as he started cutting the chicken. I smiled as I watched my love.
And soon you will be my husband... To have and to hold... In sickness and in health... Till death do us part...
Koishiteru Onodera Ritsu
There you guys have it! I know I kind of made Masamune give into his mother in the end but I always felt that deep down he just wanted his mom to care about him. I hope you guys liked this chapter and a quick heads up we only have one more chapter in this story before heading to the wedding! Stay tuned for another loving chapter of "It's Time To Tell Our Parents" in my series "Our Super Crazy and Loving Life."
Until next time
Kiss kiss xxx
