𝚁𝙰𝙸𝚈𝙰
He lays on the cracked concrete, motionless, bruised, and bleeding scarlet rivers. The shell on his back riddled with gaping fissures and crevices, sai scattered across the floor in broken shards.
Painfully, my heart catches in my chest and I find myself moving towards him without a thought, instinctively searching for any signs of life.
But no matter how hard I try, I can't close that distance between us.
I can't reach him. Why can't I reach him?
"It's your fault." Raphael lifts his head off the ground, rivulets of blood streaming from a cut on his temple, his mask hanging in tatters around his eyes. Those are the worst—blank, empty.
My pulse quickens as he rises like the undead, his skin an ashen green beneath the layers of dust and blood and purple contusions. Blood wells from cracks in his plastron, bruised a terrible red colour.
He stalks forward, sneering. "You killed them."
What? How...?
Before I can make sense of anything, the Sacks Estate laboratory materializes around us. Desks stacked with papers, old computers and lab equipment; Footclan soldiers lying unconscious on the floor; a huge, whirring machine connected to the tubes that line the roof, filled with dark red blood.
My gaze follows them to their source, though I already know what I'll find at the end.
The brothers, Mikey, Donnie and Leo, are strung up in glass cages. Hanging limp, green skin pale, as their lives are drained from them. Though it doesn't look like there's much left to be taken.
They look dead.
But...they can't be.
I run towards them, but my legs don't carry me anywhere. I'm stuck. Trapped in the middle of the estate lab, between a zombie Raphael and three dead brothers.
Trapped. I'm trapped.
Raphael laughs as he gradually closes the distance between us, his blank eyes filled with malice and rage.
I start panicking, my chest caving in on itself as my heart beats rapidly and my legs weaken beneath me. Why am I trapped? Why can't I move!? How are they dead!? They can't be!
"Mikey!" But there's nothing. My lips move, but my scream is nothing more than a raspy whisper.
I try again, hardly able to breathe past the suffocating panic. "Donnie!" Nothing. "Leo!"
Nothing nothing nothing no matter how desperate or how hard I try to regain my voice.
"They're dead!" He shouts. "And it's your fault!"
My fault? 'How!?' I want to ask. 'Why are they dead!?'
"You killed them!" He shouts, his hands curling into tight fists. "You're weak! You led the Foot right to us and killed everyone!"
No! They're supposed to be okay! Everyone's supposed to be alive! No! "No! You're lying!" My throat burns but still my efforts are for nothing.
"Adrenaline." Donnie's nearly silent voice echoes through the air like ripples across a silent pond.
I glance at his body, dangling in the cage, but it doesn't come from there. And somehow, that makes it worse.
"Adrenaline."
I close my eyes and press my hands against my ears, trying to shut out Raphael and the dead turtles; telling myself it's not real, it's not real. But his voice still filters past my fingers, clear as day.
"You killed them."
"Shut up!" I cry, my throat constricting in pain.
"Adrenaline."
I can hear him drawing closer to me, his heavy breaths and footsteps growing louder and louder and I fight but I still can't move from my prison in the middle of this terrible, hellish place.
"Adrenaline."
"You don't get it!" He roars. "You destroyed everything! You should never have found Leo!"
He doesn't mean it. But he does.
"Adrenaline!"
"Shut up!" I can't handle it—the noise and the chaos and the reality of what I've done.
They're dead they're dead and it's my fault. I killed them.
"You killed them."
I killed them.
"Adrenaline!"
Lightning pain shoots up my arm.
Feeling as if it's engulfed in flames, my eyes fly open and I look down, discovering a horrifying amount of blood rushing from an open cut on my inner wrist.
Right on my scar.
As if it reopened.
"I knew I couldn't trust you." Raphael is a mere few feet away from me.
"Adrenaline!"
"They're gone because of you." He closes that distance between us, filling it with rage and pain and hatred. "And now," his hand wraps around my bleeding wrist. "You're going to pay."
He squeezes.
And I scream without sound.
"Em!"
I look up into his eyes, grasping onto whatever minuscule amount of hope that remains inside of me. But they're red and angry and empty.
I press my eyes shut, shaking my head, wishing I was anywhere else but here.
"Em! Em, wake up!"
My eyes shot open and Raphael's face was inches from mine, green eyes bright and worried, warm breath fanning my face.
For a moment, he just stared at me. Then, he shuffled close and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug I desperately needed.
I snuggled in closer, my eyes burning with tears, lips wobbling.
"Hey." he tightened his arms around me. "You're okay."
Tears threatened to spill. "I'm sorry," I mumbled, my face buried against his chest.
"Don't say that," he murmured firmly.
I sighed a shaky breath and closed my eyes, only for a second before deciding against it. I couldn't go back.
Raphael knew this, so he laid there with me in silence, listening to our breathing until I collected myself and mustered the courage to tell him.
"You were dead," I whispered. "Then you stood up. And we were at the estate and they were dead too. And you said that...it was my fault. I couldn't move and I couldn't say anything. My scar was burning and bleeding... And you grabbed it and Donnie was yelling adrenaline but he was still dead... And then I finally heard you." I paused, then added, "your eyes were red."
Raph ignored that part. "You don't think that," he said, unsure of even his own statement.
I chewed the inside of my lip, remaining quiet in lieu of having to answer.
"Em, the last thing you did was hurt anyone," he insisted. "Nothing about our life is bad because of you."
I didn't reply for a long time, thinking about how tired I was but how afraid I was to fall asleep again. A frustrated tear slid down my cheek. "I'm a mess," I muttered.
"It's hot."
"Raph," I mumbled. "I'm serious."
"So am I. You've always been a mess."
"Thanks," I muttered wryly.
He laughed silently and murmured in my ear, "you know I wouldn't be anywhere else."
Warmth bloomed in my chest and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "You just like my ass in these pyjamas," I argued, a smile tugging at my lips.
Raphael laughed, not bothering to deny it. "And your bed."
"It's an actual rock." My mattress was so hard I don't know how I even managed to sleep on it. "The ground is squishier."
He scoffed. "You're so dramatic it's unbelievable."
"I like your bed," I mused, ignoring his comment. "We should switch."
He laughed again. "You should try to sleep."
"I don't want to," I whined.
"Don't you have school tomorrow?"
"No." Raph was trying to get me back asleep. He never does that. Why's he doing that? My heart dropped and I lifted my head to gaze around my room, lit with the slight orange hue of the soon-to-rise sun.
"No." I wrapped my arms tight around his neck and curled up against his plastron. I didn't want him to leave. I hated when he had to leave me like this.
Raphael brought me closer, tightening his embrace around me. I revelled in that closeness and warmth between us.
"I'm sorry, Em."
I hated those words. I didn't want to hear them. All I wanted was for Raphael to stay right there with me.
He remained with me for a few more minutes that felt only like seconds before rolling out of my bed and leaving me—the shadow of a goodbye kiss on my lips.
author's note
Heyyo sorry for the late update again lol I've been busy eating tons of chocolate and surviving the hellish days at school. Guess who's already counting down the days to Christmas break! Mee!
Anyways, the dream section of this chapter was really difficult for me to get through and idk if I like how it turned out but whatever I'm just glad to have it finished so I can move on with the story. I'm just so excited to bring in my girl J.T.! It's gonna be so fun ugh I can't wait! Would you guys like some chapters in J.T.'s POV before she meets the turtles? Currently, I don't have plans to write any, so if you'd like to see some, please let me know! Along with some ideas like what she might be doing in NYC! Also, I'd really love to know what kind of scenes or chapters are your guys' favourite to read so I can try to write more of those!
So it's officially winter where I live and it's been snowing nonstop for like a week and I'm already sick of it but I still have like seven more months of this Antarctic weather to endure. Idk how I even survive this every year. Also, I discovered The Cute Guy In My Math Class has a girlfriend.. So. That sucks. But I painted this awesome bowl that I'm gonna put MORE succulents in and I'm excited. Cuz somehow I keep killing my spider plant, which is supposed to be an easy plant to take care of? But it's really not? pro tip: don't get one lol
I'm finally getting my own room! in like three months! even though I'm almost seventeen and I've been sharing a room with my two other sisters since day numero uno!
Lots to be excited about! Including hearing from you guys again! My lovely readers!
Please review and let me know how you liked this chapter! :D
