Elbow update: It's not broken! But I did sprain it pretty badly and it's still hurting. I've got a better range of motion in my wrist now so I can type a little with the bad arm. It's been very frustrating having to have help for things that I can normally do on my own- I'm not someone who accepts help very easily. I'm very independent so my pride has taken a bit of a beating. But I did manage to write an extra long chapter for you.


Chapter Five

"I have to do this," Haley told Nathan a few weeks later.

The surgery to help her walk again had been moved up ahead of schedule and while Haley was all for the opportunity to get it over with sooner, her boyfriend and older brother were not so sure that she should take the risk.

"Why?" Nathan asked her seriously.

Haley scoffed. "Because I want to walk again," she replied, widening her eyes at him to let him know that he should already know why.

"The steroids are already helping and they'll do their job if you give them half a chance," Nathan said, pointing to her ankles where she had full feeling now.

"Feeling my ankles is not enough for me," Haley shook her head in refusal. "I want to get out of this chair and the surgery will help me do that."

"What if it kills you?" Nathan asked.

"The chances of that happening are like one in a million," Haley replied.

"But it can happen," Nathan argued.

"It's more likely that I'll get better," Haley retorted.

"Or you could get worse," Nathan replied, his eyes cast down now so that he was looking at her legs.

Haley felt tears of frustration sting her eyes and she slammed her fists against the armrests of her wheelchair. "Why are you doing this?" she demanded.

"I don't want anything to happen to you, Hales," he replied, kneeling down at her side now so he could look into her eyes even though she refused to meet his gaze as she kept her eyes shielded while she cried.

"I'm willing to take that risk if it means I'll get to walk again," Haley said stubbornly.

Nathan grabbed her hands and took them away from her face, pulling her hands to him and held them together in his grasp. "I get that you want to walk," Nathan said.

"No, you don't get it!" Haley exploded, taking her hands away from him. "You try to understand but you'll never be able to, not really, because you're not the one stuck in this damn thing."

"I haven't taken a step for two years, Nathan," Haley continued miserably. She wiped some of her tears away but it wasn't long before new ones took their place. "And I pretended that I accepted it because nothing could be done."

"What do you mean, you pretended?" Nathan asked.

"Being paralysed has taken so much away from me," Haley said, wiping more tears away. "And I acted like everything was fine when it wasn't and now this surgery is a great chance for me to walk again and you want me to throw it away?"

She shook her head. "I won't do that," she added.

"I want you to think it through," Nathan replied.

"I have thought it through," Haley said, nodding insistently, eyes full of passion. "The topic has never left my mind. When I'm talking to you and everyone else, I'm thinking it through. When I'm sleeping, I'm thinking it through. Even right now, I'm still thinking about it because I want to walk."

"And what happens if the surgery doesn't work and you die?" Nathan asked, looking at her with an equal amount of passion in his penetrating blue eyes. "I prefer you in that wheelchair, frustrated because the steroids are taking too long to work because I can't lose you."

"Then I guess we're at an impasse," Haley said sadly, wheeling away from him. "I know you love me and that you want me to walk again for my sake, not yours-"

"I also want you safe," Nathan interjected.

Haley nodded at him. "But I'm having the surgery tomorrow with or without your support."

"Tomorrow?" Nathan repeated in disbelief.

"Yeah, the date was moved up again," she replied.

"Why so soon?" he asked.

"The doctor performing my surgery has a vacation planned for the original date and he won't be back until the end of the year so he decided to just move up my surgery," Haley explained.

"I still think you're being hasty," Nathan said seriously.

"Well, I don't," Haley snapped, feeling as if she were at the end of her rope. "And even if I am, this is my decision to make, not yours, not Anthony's or anyone else's."

Nathan shook his head at her, looking for some sign on her face that she was having doubts about the surgery but he could not find a single one. His girlfriend had made up her mind and she was sticking to her decision, no matter what the cost may be.

"I can't support your decision," Nathan said, hoping that the thought of not having him around would change her mind but his stand didn't seem to faze her in the least.

Burying the sadness and panic that enveloped her at the thought of not having him with her through the surgery, she put on a strong face and raised her head so that she could look up at him. "Then what are you still doing here?" she asked.

Haley pushed the memory of her break-up with Nathan out of her mind. It had been seven days since she had had the surgery and she had yet to see her boyfriend since their fight.

A fight that about whether or not she should have had the surgery which was moot since she had not only had the surgery, but survived it and was now in the process of recovering from the work on her spine and getting used to walking again.

Deciding that some exercise might lift her spirits, she slowly anchored herself up and pulled her legs off the bed, smiling at the sensation she felt when her hands made contact with the skin on her knees. That feeling would never get old to her.

Taking her crutches from beside her bed, she slowly lifted herself up and walked- well, hobbled- to the door to her bedroom and opened it.

"Hales, you're awake," her brother Anthony said, smiling at his sister brilliantly.

Her brain told her that her brother was far too excited to see her and that something was up. No one was ever that happy to see her walking on crutches.

"What happened?" she asked, looking at her brother suspiciously.

Anthony smirked. His sister was frighteningly intuitive. "I finally did it," he said.

Haley looked at him curiously. "Finally did what?"

"I proposed to Pam yesterday," he replied.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "I'm guessing she said yes because if she didn't, you're acting very strange for a guy who got turned down."

"Ha, smarty pants, very amusing," Anthony rolled his eyes.

"Well, where is she?" Haley asked, looking towards their bedroom for signs of her future sister-in-law.

"She had to go to work early," he replied.

"I hope she doesn't bring her laptop with her on your honeymoon because she is such a workaholic, she'd probably spend the whole time yapping with her colleagues," Haley said.

"Don't start," Anthony warned.

"I'm not starting anything. If I still had a problem with Pam, I never would have accepted your offer to move in with the two of you," Haley said, shaking her head dismissively. "Seriously, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," Anthony finally said after staring at his sister for two full minutes, trying to decide if she was actually telling him the truth.

"Have you talked to Nathan yet?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

His sister winced at the name, which he took as a sign that they hadn't worked things out.

"No," was all she said and then she moved past him and headed down the hall and walked into the kitchen.

He followed her. "That's all I get?" He looked at her in disbelief.

"What were you expecting?" Haley asked without turning around.

"A full sentence would be nice, as well as an explanation," Anthony replied.

"An explanation for what?" Haley asked.

"What's going on with you and Nathan- he hasn't even called since the operation?" Anthony replied.

"There are no telephones in the afterlife," Haley replied, her face scrunched up with annoyance as she rolled her eyes.

"What?" her brother asked, looking at her like she was crazy.

"Nathan was convinced I wouldn't survive the surgery," Haley said simply, as she sat down in a chair, overcome with a wave of exhaustion.

"He knows you're still alive, Haley," Anthony said.

"Does he?" Haley asked, looking at him strangely. "He hasn't called; I haven't received flowers or a card or anything from him."

"The telephone works both ways," Anthony said.

"I've heard that," Haley agreed but shrugged at her brother. "But I will only be answering the phone should he call to apologize."

"And if he doesn't call?" Anthony asked.

"Then he better visit," Haley replied.

"You know, as ridiculous as you might think his side is, he did have reason to worry, Haley," Anthony said.

"I know that and I had my own doubts but my urge to walk again outweighed them by about five hundred pounds," she replied.

Anthony chuckled at her. "He might think he isn't the one that should be apologizing," he said.

"He was wrong; worried that I might die but I'm alive," Haley replied.

"That's not the point," Anthony said.

"You were on his side the whole time but when I pulled through, you didn't stay away, did you?" Haley asked, pointing out that Nathan pulling a disappearing act after the operation is what she was really mad about now, not the stupid argument they had about her having the operation.

"No, but I live with you so it'd be kind of hard not to talk to you when you needed someone to drive you home and make sure you were okay," Anthony said.

"Pam's around sometimes," Haley reminded him.

"Except that you and Pam don't always get along so I don't think leaving you alone together for extended periods of time would be a bright idea," Anthony countered.

"Everyone else managed to show up whether they thought I should have had the operation or not," Haley said, wondering why her brother was having a hard time understanding that she had a right to be mad.

"Rachel was there and we both hate each other," Haley added, chuckling to herself as she remembered how surprised she was when she saw the redhead peer in the doorway after Lucas had walked in. "But my boyfriend never made an appearance."

"You should visit her," Lucas said as he walked into the doorway of his brother's bedroom.

"No," Nathan shook his head stubbornly. "I'm not going to give her the satisfaction."

"You do realize how stupid that sounds, don't you?" Lucas asked.

Nathan glared at him warningly in response.

"Haley came home from the hospital yesterday after coming out of surgery seven days ago- a surgery that you didn't think she would survive, I remind you," Lucas said, sitting down at his brother's desk and staring at him for some sign that his brother heard him. "Do you even care?"

Nathan flinched at the implication that he didn't care. "Of course I care that she's alive, you idiot. I love that girl."

"Then go see her," Lucas said, gesturing to the door with his hands as a way of saying that he should be walking out of the room.

"I can't because then she'll think that she was right about the fight," Nathan said.

"The fight about the surgery," Lucas said.

"Yes," Nathan said.

"The surgery that she just had," Lucas pointed out.

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Yes." He sat up and looked at his brother seriously. "I can't let her think that I agree with her decision just because she survived the surgery no matter how happy I am that she did."

"It was her decision," Lucas said.

"I know that," Nathan said.

"And it doesn't matter that we didn't agree with it," Lucas said.

Nathan stared at him in surprise. "You didn't agree with her decision either?"

"Heck, no, I thought she should just stick with the steroids rather than risk dying on the operating table," Lucas said.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Nathan asked.

"Because Haley is the one that has to live with it," Lucas said.

"What?" Nathan asked.

"It's easy for us to say that she shouldn't have the surgery because her life is more important than walking again but Haley is the one that couldn't walk, not us," Lucas said.

"You think I don't know that?" Nathan asked.

"I think you know that being paralyzed is difficult at best for Haley but as for understanding what it really is to not walk, I think Haley is the only one who truly understands what that is like," Lucas said.

"Because she is paralyzed," Nathan said, nodding in agreement.

"You mean she was," Lucas said.

Nathan stared at him in amazement. "She's not paralyzed?"

"No, she was on crutches when Rach and I visited yesterday," Lucas replied.

"So she was walking?" Nathan asked.

"A snail could beat her in a race, but yeah," Lucas said.

Nathan was silent as he looked down at the ground, shaking his head.

"You didn't know the surgery was a success?" Lucas asked in disbelief.

"No!" Nathan exclaimed as he stood up and threw his jacket on and walked out the door.

Lucas caught up with him in the hallway. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to see her," Nathan said.

"I thought you weren't going to give her the satisfaction," Lucas said, slowing his pace as his brother did the same.

"That was before I knew she could walk," Nathan said, closing the front door behind him.

Lucas smiled to himself as he heard the motor of his brother's car star up. "That wasn't so hard after all," he said and sent a text message to Peyton to let her know that he had succeeded in getting Nathan to go visit Haley.

"Thanks, Anthony," Nathan said as Haley's brother let him in the apartment that he and his sister shared along with Anthony's girlfriend.

"She's in the kitchen," Anthony said, pointing down the hall and rejoining his girlfriend in the living room.

"And she's very testy," Pam informed him, cringing as she remembered the argument she had had with her fiancée's sister just twenty minutes before.

"Yeah, tread carefully," Anthony advised.

Nathan rounded the corner and stopped at the entryway to the kitchen. He prepared himself for facing her, knowing she probably would put up a fight- his girlfriend was not known for being a doormat, she didn't let people off the hook very easily and he loved that about her.

He walked into the doorway but was frozen in place as he caught sight of her standing at the counter, her back turned to him.

Haley was dressed in light pyjama bottoms and matching spaghetti strapped shirt, with her hair piled on top of her head in her own unique way of putting her hair into a bun. Her crutches were under each arm as she put most of her weight on them while fidgeting with her toast in the toaster.

She was gorgeous but what struck him most was that this was the first time he had ever seen her standing up on her own two feet. For their entire relationship, she had been in the wheelchair so Nathan was not used to anything else.

"Hey."

Haley jumped slightly at the greeting, startled because she had not known that anyone was in the room. She almost lost her balance but grabbed on to the counter for extra support.

She turned around to face her boyfriend slowly, angling the crutches so that they were spread further apart.

Not saying a word to Nathan, she crutched over to the table and sat down. When she managed to put the crutches away, telling him that she didn't need his help, she nodded at the seat across from her.

He sat down.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Nathan asked.

Haley shrugged at him but didn't meet his gaze.

"Hales," he said.

She looked at him and noticed he was smiling.

"What?" she snapped, angry that he had the nerve to smile at her after staying away for seven whole days.

"I'm happy for you," he said.

"Yeah, miraculously, I'm still alive," Haley said sarcastically.

He nodded. "I deserve that."

"Damn straight you do," Haley said.

"I'm sorry," Nathan said.

Haley rolled her eyes. "Not going to cut it," she said.

"Hear me out before you say that, okay?" Nathan asked.

Haley considered his plea for a second. "Fine," she relented and looked at him expectantly.

"I'm not going to apologize for worrying about you because that's something I will never stop doing when you're in danger," Nathan said.

"Then what are you doing here?" Haley asked impatiently.

"I will apologize for thinking that I have a say in what you decide to do with your life," Nathan continued, ignoring her question. "I was wrong there. I had no right telling you not to have the surgery when I have no idea what it's like to be paralyzed."

"Your opinion matters to me," Haley said.

"What?" Nathan asked, not expecting her to answer so quickly. He figured she would stay silent to torment him for as long as she could.

"I never want you to feel like you can't tell me how you feel because you think I might not like it," Haley said, shaking her head at his apology. "We don't have to agree on everything but we do have to be honest with each other if this relationship is going to last."

"So tell me what you're feeling- I can't guarantee I'll always agree but if you're worried about me, I want to know," Haley said.

"Okay," Nathan said, surprised that she had forgiven him.

"Great, I'm glad we've got that settled," Haley said, nodding at him but her face grew angry again. "Now where the hell have you been for the past week?"

Nathan blinked at the change in her voice, not just volume but her voice had grown very agitated when just seconds before she had been speaking calmly. "I didn't know the surgery worked," he said.

"And whose fault is that?" Haley retorted.

"I don't understand," Nathan said.

"If you had shown up the day of the surgery or the day after, you would have known but you didn't visit so you never knew," Haley said.

"You could have called and told me," Nathan pointed out.

Haley scoffed. "Why should I have made things easier for you?"

"You could have met me halfway," Nathan said.

Haley shook her head dismissively. "I was the one having a life-changing operation and you are the one that didn't visit me. There is no halfway."

"I'm sorry, Haley, really I am," Nathan said, reaching over and taking her hand in his.

"You better be because I need you right now," she said, looking at him seriously.

He nodded at her and smiled. "I'm here."

"Then let's get going," Haley said, grabbing her crutches.

"Where?" he asked.

"To my room to watch some TV," Haley said, pulling herself up and taking a small step away from the table.

Nathan smiled at the sight, pride swelling within him as he watched her fight through the pain of her sore leg muscles as she took yet another small step.

"What are you staring at?" Haley asked when she finally caught him staring.

"You walking," Nathan replied, widening his smile at her.

Haley grinned. "Pretty cool, isn't it?" she winked at him.

He put his arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her against him. "It's amazing; you're really short, you know?"

Haley rolled her eyes. "Did you ever think that you might just be freakishly tall?" she asked.

"I'm 6' 2", that doesn't make me a giant," he replied.

"Whatever," Haley said, her voice dropping to a lower tone to let him know not to press the issue of her height.

"I'm glad you're okay," he told her as they settled on her bed and decided on watching some nameless comedian until Friends came on in twenty minutes.

"I told you I didn't plan on going anywhere," Haley said.


Author's Note: I seem to be focusing more on All Hell Breaks Loose right now and since it has only a few more chapters to go, I will not be writing anymore of the other stories until it is. So, this story, Cracks In The Sky and Notice will be going on temporary hiatus.