𝚁𝙰𝙸𝚈𝙰


I'm falling.

I'm always falling, the air always sharp against my skin as I hurtle toward the Sacks tower's spire, crumbled and suspended between two adjacent buildings so high above New York City.

And the white bars lining the spire are always just out of reach. With blood pouring from the stinging punctures on my cheek and my head dizzy and heavy all at once with the sensation of falling, I always miss them. Always.

I can never reach it. I just keep fallingpast Shredder as he holds the canister of mutagen triumphantly and watches me.

Blood roars in my ears and my whole mind turns leaden with fear, painfully compressing my head. My stomach rises into my throat and I close my eyes, even though it never helps.

Over the wind, I can just hear the brothers shouting my name, and I always open my eyes to see them, hoping every time that maybe I'll see them instead of the pavement rushing toward me. But I'm always wrong, and it's always right before the impact and I always, always scream even though I know it's without sound and my ears and my head and why do I always fall and why can I never reach that bar and it's right there and the pavement the—

I woke up, my eyes shooting open with a sharp breath. I looked around wildly, my heart hammering uncontrollably. I exhaled slowly, trying to stop my body from shaking.

Raphael's arm tightened around me, sensing my distress despite still being partially asleep. He drew me back against his plastron, solid and warm and safe, and pressed his face against my neck. He inhaled deeply and murmured against my skin. "Y'okay?"

I threaded my fingers through his—searching for an anchor. And I lied. "Yeah."

Raph brought me closer so I could feel his steady heartbeat and kissed the soft skin of my neck once, twice. Feeling his heart always helped slow my breathing; it was another anchor.

He squeezed my hand, and with our hearts matched in pace and his arms around me protectively, I felt myself falling once again; though he never let me drift far from his side.

─── ─ 影の啓示 ─ ───

In an instant, the world went cold. I shifted and turned in search of warmth, but it was gone. My eyes opened slowly, tiredly; then all at once when I realized the sky outside my window was orange and red with the soon-to-rise sun.

I shot upward, throwing the covers off of me and just about screaming in alarm.

Raphael was just as scared. "Fuck Em!" At the sound of my sudden movement, he jumped and turned his head to look at me.

Relief coursed through me.

"Oh my–" I collapsed back onto my bed with a racing pulse. Seeing his figure hunched over my desk when I was expecting my room to be empty made my heart leap right up my throat. "You scared the shit out of me," I admitted breathlessly, staring up at the ceiling.

"You shot up like a fuckin' demon possessed you," he retorted.

"I thought you were gone."

Raphael didn't say anything, and when I looked over at him he was staring down at the desktop, jaw clenched.

Damn it. "It's okay," I said. "I know. I just wanted to ask if you could take Red with you. He can't stay here all alone and he can't come to school with me."

He nodded and abandoned whatever he'd been doing to check the sugar glider's cage. Despite the cold, I shuffled out of bed to see for myself what it was. There was a blank slip of paper resting on the corner of my desk, along with one of my pens.

My heart fluttered.

"I was gonna leave you a note so you wouldn't freak out when you woke up," Raph muttered, his voice carrying across my room.

I smirked. "Beat you to it." I pulled a drawer open to return the unused paper to its place but hesitated and decided to leave it and the pen where they lay if only because it made me smile.

Raph came up behind me, his presence filling a whispering space in the back of my mind.

"You know I don't mean to make you feel guilty all the time," I began, my voice low. I spun around to look at him. "I know you can't stay. I just...don't really think before I say dumb shit like that."

He grinned. "Yeah, I know."

"Shut up," I laughed, nodded to Red curled up in his hand. "You know when to feed him?"

His expression morphed into a smirk. "Who's the mother now?" He teased.

I raised my eyebrows, still waiting for an answer.

He rolled his eyes. "I got it," he insisted. "Don't worry."

My gaze fell to the tiny, still-sleeping glider held carefully in his palm. "I'll stop by on my way to the zoo to pick him up," I said, looking up at Raphael. "Try not to lose him 'til then, 'kay?"

"Try not to get lost," he shot back smugly. That bastard still hadn't let go of the time he had to save my ass from the Footclan at the docks two years ago.

"You're such a dick."

He laughed and bent down to kiss me.

"I gotta go," he said, his face remaining only inches from my own.

I stole another kiss before he could pull away, lifting myself onto my toes and curling my fingers around the top edge of his plastron. Almost immediately, he wrapped his free arm around my waist in response, bringing me closer. Heat bloomed in my chest and spread like a wildfire. Then it was over just as quickly as it'd began.

Because the sun was rising.

And he couldn't stay.

And even though I knew that, I couldn't help my feelings of distress and the painful constrictions in my chest that suddenly accompanied every breath. But I did my best to ignore it—convince both myself and Raphael that it didn't exist past my desperate imagination.

He backed away, allowing the space between us to fill with cold air. Reaching my open window, he paused and spun around with a smile. "I'll see you later."

And then he was gone.

And I watched the sky light up in a shower of gold only a few moments later.


author's note

I can't even begin to express how sorry I am. I've been neglecting this story along with all my others for way too long. Chapters have been coming along so slowly and I've been blaming it on writer's block, which is still true to some extent, but it's also because I haven't really been trying to write anything. I've just been waiting for inspiration to hit me instead of sitting at my computer and telling myself I need to write. I finally started working on this chapter last week, but procrastinated by making all new covers and posters and beginning to design Raiya's kunoichi outfit until I finally ran out of shit to do and told myself I had to write this. Hence why it's lowkey shitty lol.

Anyway, I just want to tell everyone that I'm going to start really trying now. I'm taking this year off of school and I'm gonna be working almost full time but I'm gonna try to spend all my free time writing. Pinky swear.

So, with that out of the way, let's now take a moment to appreciate how freaking CUTE the first part of this chapter is! I mean. come on. did y'all not die a little reading it? Lmao I just about had a mf heart attack writing that shit. The rest of it is kinda bad but whatever you guys deserve a chapter.

So while I was procrastinating this past week I thought maybe I should have, like, "official songs" to go with TSS and TSR which are basically just a song that symbolizes Raiya and Raph's relationship throughout the story. And so I found one for TSS (Stargazing by Severo) but now I need one for TSR and I'd love your guys' help! If you come across a song that you think fits Raiya and Raph's relationship so far in TSR, feel free to share it with me and I'll 100% consider it! So far, I've found two that could work:

"Another Day" by Dabin & Inukshuk ft. Nevve

"All Good" by Capital Kings ft. Hollyn

But I don't really love them or think they do a perfect job so I haven't made a decision yet. I personally love EDM but any genre can work as long as the lyrics fit!

ONE LAST THING! I'd also love some help designing Raiya's kunoichi outfit! I've already done some sketches (sleeveless, plain black one-piece suit with a corset design and a hood) but I'd love some more ideas! I'm welcoming all drawings, descriptions etc. if anyone is interested! You will be credited if I use your idea, of course :)

Yikes that's long haha

Love you guys! :D