A/N
Yes the chapter was gone for a handful of hours.
Some of you darling readers PMed me concerning your confusion that stemmed from the vagueness of the final battle and I also received a few reviews mentioning the same thing, so instead of doing that reveal in the next chapter as I had planned, I decided to take this chapter down and mesh it together. I do apologize, as an author there are times when it doesn't really occur to me that something might be too vague for the reader; after all, I know the details so of course it would seem clear to me. But hey, that's what growing and learning is all about, right?
New and hopefully improved chapter sixteen!
Disclaimer: Warning! Unreliable narrating ahead!
There was something to be said about the allure of darkness.
Humans liked to romanticize the night, the appeal of all things stygian as though they truly grasped the meaning of it. When you heard others speak, it was of the seduction of stepping into the shadows, of dancing with your inner demons in the most iniquitous corners of your mind; it was the delicious temptation of sin, the charm of devils and the enticement of hell through rose tinted lenses.
People wrote poems and songs, a flowery illusion of dark chocolate, wine, fresh ink on paper, the feathers of a raven, the last embers of a fire; as if these things could ever be anything more than a poor imitation of true darkness. When you took the stars, snatched the moon right out of the sky, nighttime no longer held the same enchantment. Humans liked to romanticize the dark, liked to pretend at times that it was where they belonged; but oh, how terribly wrong they were.
There was nothing beautiful about absolute darkness.
The light glowing off the moon stick guided our way through the seemingly endless open area, illuminating our immediate surroundings; and by immediate, I mean about a five foot radius, at which point the light was swallowed whole. There was something terribly wrong with this cave-like structure; it was as though this was the place where light came to die, where darkness became an actual substance. With each step we took I became more and more certain of my initial musings; human beings were not meant to thrive in such a tenebrous environment. Time and direction held no meaning here; the only thing that seemed to matter in this light devouring space were the steps you took.
I counted each one to distract myself.
There were no walls to be found, no ceiling to be seen though I knew one existed; save for the ground beneath our feet it was as though the darkness encompassed all. I felt small in comparison, a fawn amongst predators; I was strung tight, hair standing on end because it was far too quiet, the way a forest grew silent in the sights of death. I told myself there was nothing lurking in the shadows, nothing stalking us like prey, waiting for the kill. I remained unconvinced and what's worse, a teeny, crazed part of me dared any creature to attack, to put itself between me and my final wish.
It'd be the last thing it ever did.
"How much further?" Mars stood so close to me that the words were murmured right into my ear. It was hard to not jerk away from her proximity after months of evasion, but I managed to stifle the reflex; as much as Mars irritated me, I was sort of glad for her presence. I would have lost my mind had I fallen down here myself.
The push felt stronger, and the brooch pulsed almost as if in answer to her question.
"Not long." I exhaled, pace quickening in relief. My grip on the moon stick wavered, muscles aching from the constant loosening and tightening of my hold. Half of me instinctively wanted to drop it, because holding the moon stick meant I had one less fist to use should the need arise. I knew it was stupid, because clearly the damn thing was a weapon but my mind refused to make that connection; to me, it was only natural that my greatest weapon came in the form of my hands and feet.
That said, the only reason I didn't abandon the moon stick was because the other half of me all but screamed that being able to see was far more important.
A valid point.
I turned to Mars as she began to say something, only to cut off when, out of nowhere, we were assaulted by blinding light. I cursed, flinching and covering my eyes; Mars shifted beside me, a hand coming to grip my shoulder as she too hunched over in pain. I blinked rapidly as my eyes adjusted, vision slowly coming into focus; when my sight finally decided to work properly, I could only stare in disbelief.
The endless abyss was gone, and we now stood in a corridor, one that looked no different from the last. I spun, and met the wall, testing my weight against it in vain. There was no doorway or anything, so where the hell had we been just then?
Closer, a voice echoed softly. That gentle push of encouragement seemed to wrap itself around my heart then and there, willing me down the hall. My body moved of its own accord, taking that first step; this was where we were supposed to go, perhaps even the way out.
Mars jerked me back by my wrist. "Hold on."
"What?" I tried to pull away, but she didn't loosen her grip. "Come on Mars, let go. This is it, it's where we're supposed to go. I can feel it."
Mars snapped then, gaze burning. "You know what? No. I've had about all I can take of your creepy, vague attitude. You don't know anything Usagi; you've never been here before. For all we know, that super special feeling of yours is from the enemy, and we're about to walk right into a trap!"
"It's not-"
"It is." Her voice was quiet despite its intensity, as if she wanted to shout but was unwilling to. "I'm telling you, I have a bad feeling about this. That is not the way out, and we aren't sticking around to investigate either, got it? The Scouts, the Generals, Mamoru, they're all out there right now, risking their lives to save your ass; we aren't wasting another minute on this."
"The Generals are probably dead." I almost regretted the words when Mars flinched, reeling back as if struck.
"What?"
I swallowed. "Jadeite, Kunzite, Zoisite, they're probably dead from the ceiling caving in. Did it ever occur to you that maybe they were leading us the wrong way, and that, by going in the direction that I sensed, the two of us had inadvertently escaped death?"
It seemed the most likely scenario.
Under my stare, something crumbled in Mars; her features twisted, posture slumping ever so slightly as the likelihood of my words and their consequences dawned on her.
Grief, I thought musingly, pinpointing the emotion after a few seconds of observation; it nearly surprised me, because for some reason I simply hadn't expected that specific feeling. Mars managed alright, pulling herself back together in the span of a heart beat though she hadn't actual come undone to begin with. Of course, then she looked at me, the mild curiosity in my gaze, my casual, unbothered stance, and nearly lost it.
"Don't you care?" She cried, tone somewhere between disbelief and anger as she advanced, lip curled into a snarl even as she blinked away tears. "What is wrong with you? They came here to rescue you, they might be dead and you aren't even bothered?"
I… wasn't.
It was sad, yes, but only in the most distant sense; no different than hearing about a tragedy on the news. I hadn't known any of the Generals personally, hadn't really spent any length of time with them or watched them die firsthand so it didn't really stir anything in me. We were all dead anyway; what difference were a few months to me when they were practically strangers? Three of them had scarred me for life, which I was still coping with, and by now I'd reached a point where empathy was non-existent.
I had abandoned sanity, and humanity had abandoned me.
I turned my back on Mars and followed the pull; half way down the hall more words seemed to burst from her, and I paused out of curiosity more than anything else.
"You were supposed to be our savior." Contempt, betrayal, grief colored her words, and I had never known it was possible to contain that much emotion in a single sentence. "The last piece to the puzzle, the guardian of the moon; we had thought that surely, if anyone knew the Moon Princess's whereabouts, it would be you. Luna had searched for you for so long, and then she'd found me. We looked everywhere for you, for the great Sailor Moon, our supposed comrade; a Sailor Scout all alone in the world."
She shook her head laughing, and it was a depreciating sound if I'd ever heard one. "We were so excited to find you and all this time, you hadn't wanted anything to do with us. The Sailor Scouts were nothing to you, our duties tossed carelessly aside like a used tissue. You think so little of us and our cause that you can't even distinguish between the two; you can't even acknowledge us as individuals. We aren't people to you."
There was a weight in the pause that followed, and I had the impression she was waiting for me to say something. Maybe to deny it, or grow angry at the accusation, but in truth she'd painted a pretty clear picture of me. I still didn't really want anything to do with them, with the supernatural world in general; I just wanted to get out of here. How long had I been awake? When was the last time I'd eaten or drank anything? I didn't care about this confrontation, and if Mars was going to insist on it then she could argue with herself, because I wasn't wasting anymore time here.
Mars moved to continue, much to my dismay.
Of course, she didn't get to tell me off because at that moment, vines shot out of the ground and tore through her sternum, impaling her. I barely managed to release a shriek before they were on me too.
The youma presented me to Beryl like a prize.
Something had happened in the time between my capture, and this very moment; it was a thought, a conclusion, that occurred only in my mind. As no one else was privy to it, my world was the only one shaken. Beryl sat on her throne and watched as I was brought before her and forced onto my knees. The vines holding me fell loose as I was released; I did not move.
Behind me, the body of Sailor Mars hit the floor with finality.
The air in the throne room weighed thick and heavily, almost painful; it was like inhaling smoke without all the coughing, slowly burning you from the inside out. Monsters crowded around us, lining the room and closing off any route of escape. Their stares were hungry, delighted, malicious, sawing into me from every angle. I ignored them in favor of Beryl; my eyes remained dry, and I did not tremble or go weak with fear under her gaze as she drank the sight of me in.
I just stared in the wake of realization.
Beryl, of course, did not know that I was only capable of giving her half my attention just then, and I suspected that she would hardly care either. She leaned forward, gripping the arms of her throne as her red gaze examined me. "…So you are the one then, hm?"
Her voice was husky, dark, and… intrigued. "Quite the fuss over such a little thing… Sailor Moon, was it? I confess, the name does not ring any bells despite my pursuit of war against the Moon Kingdom; in fact, before today I remained entirely unaware of your existence. That alone is rather telling. You do not actively partake in battle against the Dark Kingdom; I've been watching, and I have not seen you once."
Beryl paused, allowing me a chance to give a response.
I blinked, features blank. She was forced to fill the silence once more. "I do not believe you fight alongside the Sailor Scouts, which makes their desperation to retrieve you all the more interesting."
Without breaking my stare, she signaled to one of her servants. There was a commotion behind me. Beryl's lips curled upward into a callous smile as she descended from her throne, and I knew then that I should have been scared. Something in me had fractured though, shattered beyond repair in the wake of my epiphany, and I did not think I would ever be the same again.
Because I could still feel that gentle push.
I could still feel it, and it led right to Beryl.
Serenity hadn't been guiding me from danger, aiding me in my escape as I had previously thought; no, rather, the entire time she'd been luring me here, to Beryl and certain death as Mars as predicted. I'd put my trust in Serenity, had handed her the reins to my salvation and instead she had led me to my demise. There was no room left in my heart for anything other than the overwhelming sense of betrayal and finality. Had Serenity truly been so unwilling to allow me to flee this place?
So unwilling that she would take my choice from me?
Someone screamed then, a tormented, despairing sound, so akin to a mother's wail that I was jarred enough to break Beryl's gaze and peer over my shoulder. There, about a dozen feet or so back, Jupiter and Mercury were restrained and on their knees; both sets of eyes locked on Mars' body, horrified, and the scream seemed to have come from Mercury. To their left, all four Generals stood in a single row, also restrained as the creatures holding them hostage shoved each of the Generals forward.
They were forced to kneel on my right, a little ways back.
Distantly, a part of me mused that to put me at the front of this procession, dead centered with the throne while those that troubled Beryl most were farther back, could only mean that I was the main attraction. I returned my sights to Beryl and watched as she glided across the stone floor to the Generals, coming to a stop at Jadeite. Under the weight of her blood thirsty gaze, Jadeite's glare was mutinous and it did not waver as she ran a hand through his blond locks. Beryl tightened her grip and used his hair to tilt Jadeite's head upward, revealing the silver crescent moon that adorned his brow.
I could sense the Generals stares turning to my person as Beryl addressed me. "I know the mark of the Moon Kingdom when I see it. I presume this little brand is of your own design?" She released Jadeite and turned her back on him in favor of me. "It's quite the clever rune; irritating to be sure, but clever nonetheless. No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot seem to get into their heads anymore, or corrupt their hearts; my influence no longer reaches them and moreover, they're hidden from me."
I had rendered her blind to their movements.
It was a small accomplishment, one that fell flat given my mental state; that sense of finality overtook the sting of betrayal, grounding me as I conceded that I was going to die here. I did not shy away as Beryl approached me and her thin, elongated fingers took hold of my chin, sharp nails scraping the soft skin underneath.
That gentle push was overpowered as a familiar pull took hold of me, a faint prickle at the back of my neck.
As Beryl scrutinized me, blood thirsty melted away to something far more wicked. "Oh, I like you Sailor Moon. I can see why you are not part of the Sailor Scouts; it's clear to me now, looking at you. My dear girl, there is ruthlessness in you; a bit of sadistic savagery that is so unlike that of the justice seeking Sailor Scouts. Right there, just under the surface; a vicious gleam in your eyes that can never be completely hidden. I would have remembered eyes like yours had we met before."
It was almost funny.
She should have remembered this face, and now apparently it was my eyes of all things that tricked her. Serenity had soft, warm eyes; eyes full of love and forgiveness and I remember thinking how stark a difference those eyes had been from mine. Was the difference truly so vast that Beryl could not recognize the face of the person she had envied most?
The grin on Beryl's face widened and her hand dropped as she straightened to her full height. My gaze drifted higher, above her to the stone beams that supported the great hall's structure. There, peering out from the rafters, I found the source of that pull.
Mamoru and Venus stared back at me.
Mamoru's expression was so chalked full of emotion that it might as well have been blank for all I understood it. Venus, on the other hand, had the kind of look about her that I'd tasted before and knew rather well. As she strained to keep her eyes on me and away from the body that laid at my back, I put the words to that taste; Bloodlust, Fury, Vengeance.
I blinked and brought my wandering eyes back down to Beryl.
I spoke, voice soft. "I am not prone to bouts of compassion for humankind, and nor am I afflicted with a compulsion of self-sacrifice that is so common among Sailor Scouts; such things are not in my nature. My first instinct is not obligation to a millennia old cause or duty to a dead monarchy, but rather survival; the wellbeing of myself before others above all else, if you will. In light of that, any unwillingness to affiliate myself with the Sailor Scouts should come as little surprise, wouldn't you agree?"
My words sank in and Beryl let out a delighted laugh, a hand coming to rest daintily at the base of her throat. "How remarkably splendid that is to hear. You see, it just so happens that I find myself down a few commanders. I have a proposition for you, Sailor Moon. Pledge yourself to the Dark Kingdom, declare your loyalty and swear an oath of servitude to me for the rest of time. Tell me, Sailor Moon; what is it that you desire most in this world?"
I paused, staring up at her.
No one had bothered to contain me, and so slowly, I rose to my feet without opposition. Behind me, Mercury sobbed quietly as she had been doing for some time, and I found myself shifting sideways to keep her, the generals, and Beryl in my line of sight. The question gnawed at me internally, relentless and oddly heavy in a way I wouldn't have thought possible at this point. After all, what relevance did such a question even have at the end of the world? Mars was dead and we were surrounded on all sides; there was no coming back from this, no chance of making it back to Matsuo alive, and yet the question continued to plague, quiet as its presence was.
What is it that you desire most in this world?
What did I want more than anything in the world? I wasn't sure anymore. To leave this place alive, to see my best friend again, to live a long life, or to spend just one day free from the weight I carried; to learn everything I could from Hajime-sensei, to see a hundred more ideas breathed into life at the Fabler, to have just a single moment carefree bliss, to go home to my own world.
Those were all things I had once wanted most.
I glanced over to the Sailor Scouts, soaking in Jupiter's stricken, tear stained face and her silent grief; Mercury's shaking shoulders, gaze dim and trained on the ground. The pale, still body of Mars, the words she had spat at me, the echo of her lifeless body hitting the floor. I thought of Venus, hiding on the beams, forced to watch the execution we both knew was coming one way or another and the wrath on her adolescent face, the bloodthirst in her gaze; a promise of retribution that would be kept.
They were so young.
Too young to be fighting a supernatural war, just as Serenity had been. They were just kids in the end, a couple of fourteen year olds that had no business on the battlefield, no place being here. Yet when push came to shove every single one of them had risen to the occasion, had answered the call. None of them had asked for this, and now Mars was dead and the others were next and they had failed in a duty that should have never been asked of them in the first place; a mission the Sailor Scouts never stood a chance of accomplishing without Serenity, a burden that had always been far too heavy to place on children.
What is it that you desire most in this world?
I wanted all the things I had coveted before and I would continue to want them for the rest of my life along with a few others; however, none of those selfish, desperate wishes of mine were what I wanted most. My feet moved without thought, carrying me away from Beryl, beyond the Generals, and past the Scouts to stop at Mars. She was sprawled face down on the stone, one arm out and the other tucked beneath her. I crouched down next to her, ignoring the youma that lurked on her other side, and as my fingers curled around the hilt of the Holy Blade I finally knew the answer to Beryl's question.
At this moment in time, there was only one want, new and unyielding, that rose above the rest.
An all-consuming desire to watch this shithole burn.
What happened next is difficult to explain.
I wrenched the sword from its sheath with the knowledge that there would only be time for one move, one moment of the unexpected before that window closed and that I could not waste it. I sensed the youma reacting, ready to come down on me but I did not strike to save myself as instinct demanded. I spun, tossing the sword in the air with every ounce of my strength as adrenaline lit my veins afire once more.
The blade soared high, past the Generals and far above Beryl.
As though our minds were one, Venus was already jumping from her perch, sailing through the air. Half a second later roses rained down around her, injuring creatures and creating a diversion.
Venus caught the Holy Blade.
The youma behind me was a breath away, too close for me to evade. My gaze on the blonde was rapture, determined to see this end as Venus swooped down on her victim, an avenging goddess.
Scorching heat traced my back, a sudden outburst of raw light. Steel cut into flesh, separating Beryl's head from her shoulders; two bodies thumped heavily onto the ground as a head rolled to a stop. Venus landed lightly on her feet as though the height were nothing, though the drop had to have been over thirty feet. Without pause,Venus threw herself at the nearest enemy in a fury of slashes and crescent beams like a woman possessed. Mamoru had appeared on the ground between what felt like one heartbeat and the next when I hadn't been paying attention to free the Generals.
I spun, catching sight of charred remains that had begun to evaporate.
Mars stared weakly up at me.
A choking sound escaped me as I dropped to her side and the moon stick popped into existence. A gaping hole in her torso, half of her blood on the floor and she was firing off attacks? How was that remotely possible? "Mars-"
"Rei." She retorted breathlessly, apparently having the energy to interrupt me even with one foot in the grave. She continued before I had the chance to voice my confusion, her gaze simmering. "My name isn't Mars. It's Rei, and I'm more than just a Sailor Scout. My name is Hino Rei, I'm a person, and I matter. Don't you ever forget that."
Fourteen years old, with wildfire in her veins and too stubborn to die; there would be no forgetting Hino Rei. I managed to dredge up something resembling a grin despite the chaos breaking out around us. "I was right, Rei; you really are a damn cliché, straight out of a slasher film. Unbelievable."
She smiled faintly at the randomness of my words and allowed her eyes to close as I did my magic and moon dust began to shimmer down on her form. As Rei slowly healed I scanned the room, taking in the various battles that had broken out; we were winning for the moment, but the number of enemies seemed endless. Two monsters were in the act of pouncing on the weak links that were Rei and I when they were suddenly cut in half by a golden beam of light.
The parts began to disintegrate immediately, to my relief.
I focused on Venus and was more than alarmed at what I saw; she cut down monsters mercilessly, left and right before moving onto the next ones. She didn't pause for a single breath, even when the opportunity presented itself, and though she moved expertly, efficiently, Venus' eyes were glazed over as though she was seeing a different battle entirely. My earlier train of thought came back to me, and suddenly a woman possessed fit all too nicely.
Minako, I reminded myself.
Venus was a battle hardened veteran, but this was Minako; she shouldn't be so skilled at wielding a sword, not in this life where she had learned to fight with the chain at her waist and those light-based attacks. Minako was deadly with that weapon in a way that she simply couldn't be, not with the absence of the memories of her past life. Unease crept through me. I had an inkling of what had caused this behavior and I wanted to kick myself then because I had known something was wrong with that sword; by all accounts the Holy Blade should not be here, and its unlikely appearance had bothered me.
How could I have been so careless?
I wasn't exactly in top condition though. Since waking to find myself here over twenty four hours ago, I'd had no food, water, or sleep to help stave off the aftereffects of Naru's drain, nothing to aid my recovery. Mental state aside, I was weak, and my mind wasn't too sharp at the moment, possibly from that head injury I hadn't healed. I was running on fumes here, upright from adrenaline more than anything really but it was a poor excuse for handing the sword to Minako so thoughtlessly.
I prayed it didn't come back to bite me.
My attention was ripped from her then as a shiver ran up my spine. That gentle push was back, urging me to focus on something and the mere feeling made my hair stand on end. It drew me in naturally, and a second later I found what I was looking for; there, across the floor the detached head of Beryl gazed straight back at me, lips curled up in the faint beginnings of a smile.
My breath hitched.
The severed head shrieked with peals of bloodcurdling laughter.
Kunzite was the first to understand.
Our gazes collided across the room for a split second, a single heartbeat, and in his eyes I could see it so clearly; a flicker of dawning horror. Then, in the blink of an eye he turned away, grabbing the closest person to him (Minako), and shouted for us all to run. None of the youma even attempted to stop him, to stop any of them as they fled, too entranced by the high pitched laughter echoing off the walls to care.
I stood frozen though.
I couldn't look away, not as Beryl's head began to drag across the floor, bright red hair trailing behind as it was drawn to the rest of her body by dark, demonic strings. I could not tear my gaze away as the head reattached itself, and her corpse sprung to its feet in an uncoordinated motion in the same way I had seen a marionette move. I only came to my senses when Ju- Makoto, hauled me away by the back of my shirt and out of the throne room. I saw the various monsters and creatures we'd been fighting all kneel before their queen. Then they too began to shriek, this time in terror and agony as the life force was drained from them and their bodies because to wither up.
I turned away and stumbled into a flat out sprint.
This was it, the very worst of my nightmares come to life before me.
We threw ourselves around corners with reckless abandon, tearing down corridors at a break-neck speed. Jadeite had scooped up Rei's unconscious form and had I been in a state of anything less than utter chaos, it might have impressed me how easily he seemed to be able to keep up with Kunzite at the front of our procession. As it was, I was barely functioning and easily sated by the simple fact that Rei hadn't been left behind before the vague notion passed all together.
Running is pointless. Something in me whispered.
Fuck off, I spat internally, sickened by the truth of its words.
There would be no escaping Metaria, nowhere we could go where she would not find us and yet I continued to run for my life anyway because who in their right mind would stop? Death felt like a given at this point, especially after the acknowledgement that if this battle didn't kill the Sailor Scouts, then the next surely would; death was something I'd come to somewhat accept the inevitability of in the past day, but this was different.
Not like this, I prayed. If this world was doomed and I was going to die then fine; I'd die doing my damnedest to take my murderer down with me, to go down with my best friend at my side. But not like this, any other death than this; Naru's drain had the power to leave me speechless with agony and unable to move. What she did hurt, and it would be absolutely nothing compared to Metaria. I shuddered at the thought. Behind us, tortured screams shadowed our every step as the Caliginous Kingdom slowly fell to none other than its very own queen.
All I had wanted was to die on my own terms.
Kunzite, to my surprise, appeared to still possess some semblance of intelligent thought; thankfully he hadn't been blinding running in an attempt to flee a painful death like I had assumed. Instead, Kunzite had been leading us with an actual destination in mind, and soon we scrambled up two flights of stairs and through a doorway to find the outside world. Of course, as our group scuttled out and forged onwards I lost all appreciation as the arctic temperature shocked my system, and I was starkly reminded of where enemy headquarters was located.
I was in a god forsaken skirt in the North Pole.
We continued to retreat, bolting through the icy tundra without pausing and what a wretched mistake it was. Every breath brought air so cold it burned my lungs, each breeze had my eyes watering a little more and the cold seemed to bite into whatever exposed skin it could find, starting at the tips of my ears. My muscles screamed from exertion, already strained from lack of rest and a stitch formed in my side.
I was already starting to fall behind the others when snow somehow began to find its way into my boots. The metal of my tiara cooled to a point where it stung my forehead, and I endured it for another ten minutes before I could take no more. I didn't have the endurance everyone else had; extended running was one of my weaknesses, I'd known it was a problem but had neglected to do anything about it and now it was coming back to haunt me. I couldn't keep up with them, and my subconscious began dredging up reasons to stop; there was nowhere to go, it was too cold, I was miserable, we were just going to die anyway.
There's no immediate threat within sight, It murmured. They'll run forever, you can't keep pace anyway, you'll be left behind. Aren't you tired? Wouldn't it be nice to rest?
My body wouldn't hold out, not in my current condition and even if I was able to keep going it made little difference when there was no safe haven to run to. The cold was probably going to kill me before Metaria; if I stopped now, curled into a ball and laid down it definitely would. Freezing to death was painful only for a while, and then it was like falling asleep, right? The thought made my shoulders lighter. This frigid wasteland had been the death of my will to flee an inescapable enemy.
Running served no purpose now.
I was already a good four feet behind Makoto when I stopped running entirely, hunching over slightly to catch my breath; the stitch in my side pinching with every inhale, only adding to my physical misery. When I glanced up the group was a good thirty feet ahead and still going strong, looking for all the world as though the cold were a mere inconvenience. To my surprise, Rei was wake; she peered over Jadeite's shoulder and met my gaze square on, if a little dazed.
Suddenly, Jadeite was skidding to a halt, head snapping around in my direction.
His actions did not go unnoticed by the others, and they too came to a stop, swiveling around. They began to jog back towards me, and as soon as we were within speaking distance I waved them off. "Go, keep going. I'm staying here."
Mamoru flinched, stepping forward. "That's not funny Usagi. I know you're tired, but we can't stop ye-"
"It's not a joke, Boy Scout." I laughed, bones chattering. It was so, so cold; I would have set myself on fire to get warm at this point. As I spoke, part of me wondered if it would be all that different from how I felt now. "I'm staying here, in the ninth circle of hell. I'm sorry it turned out this way, that my rescue attempt would kill you all; I mean, we were all going to die at the end of this war anyway, since we weren't going to win, but I'd thought you would have had more time. My fault for getting kidnapped."
My fault for becoming Usagi.
Mamoru was at a loss for words momentarily.
"Don't do this." His voice was breathless, gaze pleading. Mamoru took another step, this time with his arms out as though to reach for me. I admitted to myself then how much I would have liked to move into his embrace; my heart panged, and it was the kind of feeling that made me glad I'd be dead soon so I wouldn't have to feel it again. "Don't- you're just tired Usagi, it's the exhaustion talking. I'll carry you, okay? If running is too much for you then I will carry you, so don't say that."
I hated both of us, hated him for the sudden rush of emotion swelling in me when I was so tired and didn't want to feel anything anymore, and hated myself for reasons my mind couldn't quite grasp. I could not stand him and felt a distant sense of disgust at myself.
I still wasn't going.
"We don't have time for this." Minako snapped. "Get your ass into gear Usagi, or so help me I will drag you home myself."
Through chattering teeth, I murmured, "Nice try, but I'm not that easy. At least buy me dinner or something first before you go thinking about taking me home."
This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Minako all but exploded with rage, storming over to me. My body refused to straighten out on its own, and the only reason Minako didn't tower over me at that moment was because she had gripped me by the collar of my shirt, lifting. My feet barely brushed the ground as she got right in my face and snarled, "Let me make myself clear; you've been the bane of my existence since the day I received that god damn letter. You have no idea the lengths I went to in order to get to where I am today, the stress, the aggravation of putting your hints together.
"I went to hell and back to find the other Scouts and then the princess, I devoted everything to this cause, to fulfill my duty as leader of the Sailor Scouts and just when I began to think that maybe you aren't the devil incarnate, that you care in your own way, you go and cross the line. I know the truth about Naru; you have all but spat on my hard work and I have had enough. We're going home, you're going to bring me to the real Moon Princess, and after that you will never come between me and my duty again."
Minako's eyes all but glowed with ferocity, and I would have been wary, possibly alarmed or scared had I been able to feel anything over the frostbite seeping into my bloodstream. I had hurt her by keeping my silence about Naru, and oddly enough, I felt that now it would be too cruel to tell Minako the truth; that Serenity wasn't around anymore, that she'd been too late.
"Go home, Minako." I released myself from her grip, stepping back. "Go home, have dinner with your family, and if you have the time, use it to do whatever it is that you want before the world ends. The princess… she is in a place that cannot be reached right now; not by you anyway."
She read the truth in my eyes, a truth she hadn't been ready for. Minako stumbled back a few steps stricken, and she was not the only one; from the shock on Rei's face, and the pained expression Mamoru wore, I gathered that somehow, they had missed the big Naru reveal though I wasn't sure how. Silence descended as the information settled in, and I wondered if that would be the end of it. They would go now, surely; I had caused the lot of them enough pain to warrant it.
Makoto stepped forward, hands balled into fists at each side. "I'm not leaving without you, Usagi. We've already come this far, and Matsuo's waiting for you to return."
I stared at her.
I wasn't entirely sure they would even make it back to Tokyo before Metaria caught up, or how much time they would have should they make it. Makoto had no family waiting for her at home, no one that she had any obligations to, and as horrible as it sounded, I was unbearably grateful for it.
"Give Matsuo my love, when you see him Makoto; please, please tell him how much he meant to me." Even now, frozen to the bone, world weary, and in wreckage from the horrors of the last twenty four hours, even now I wanted to see him one last time. "I was so alone, drowning under the burden of my own mind. He saved me from myself, made it just a little bit easier to breathe, and I…" My throat tightened. "Just tell him for me, okay?"
Makoto's expression twisted as she shook, and I did not think it was from the cold.
"Don't, you can't ask that of me." Her voice was laced with anguish and rose with every word. "How do I face him if I return and you aren't with me? How do I tell him that I couldn't bring you home to him, that I failed him? I promised to bring you home, I swore I would; don't make me a liar Usagi. You're giving up before the fight has started!"
Maybe I was.
I was so tired though, tired and frozen and above all else, hopeless; maybe there really was a way through this, somewhere we could survive Metaria, in the Moon Kingdom, perhaps, if we could somehow raise a barrier or something. If there was a solution, a happy ending, I couldn't find it in my weary state, and if I couldn't find it then there was nothing to push me forward, to keep me going. I wanted to sleep, to curl up under a warm blanket and be free from the thoughts that plagued me.
I wanted to return to that nothingness, before I had become Usagi.
This world had drained me for all I was worth and now I just didn't have enough me left to keep going, not in this cold, not after the trauma I had just endured, and not when there was no enemy in sight to spur me into action.
"I have a request, Makoto." Last words were supposed to be important; I wanted these words to be what they should. My mind was as cloudy as the overcast sky now that I had given in, and I fought to express myself clearly. "I won't ask the impossible of you, to save him and protect him no matter what, because that would be cruel. So between us, let me ask something within the realms of your capabilities. Stay with him, okay? Until the very end, stay at Matsuo's side in place of me."
I had wanted to be there, to have him next to me when death came calling.
I didn't have the strength left but the thought that Matsuo could die alone was unacceptable, unbearable. It was the only thing that stirred my weary heart, called it to action.
Last words, I wouldn't get another chance.
Of course, only a second after thinking that was I proven right.
The moment Metaria appeared over the horizon, I felt it in my soul.
It didn't matter that she was approaching from the west, where we'd come from and therefore the direction my back was turned to; it didn't matter because there was no mistaking or overlooking a presence like hers. Metaria's aura was suffocating in a way that put Beryl to shame; If Beryl's aura felt like breathing in smoke, then standing in Metaria's presence for any length of time was akin to inhaling muriatic acid. The atmosphere around her was oppressive, ominous and malevolent; even here the air tasted corrupted, too reminiscent of death.
My last words slipped off the tongue easily, and they were a lie. "I have this covered. Go home."
I didn't want to look, didn't want to see it coming but I forced myself to turn away then. I looked because I was a coward, and facing Metaria was so much easier than watching as I was left behind. Because with a predator at my heels, it was hard to stick to the decision I had made; I didn't want to die, no one ever wanted to die, but I'd wasted enough time with my decision. Now, because I hadn't been able to convince them quickly enough, Makoto needed time to make it back to Matsuo, and I was going to give it to her. If there was anything I could be accused of doing, it was abiding by the consequences of my actions.
One of my few redeeming qualities, in my opinion.
As I faced Metaria I couldn't help but note how different she seemed in a matter of an hour's time; there was no longer anything resembling Beryl within her, not anymore. Presently, Metaria's form was that of a colossal shadow-like figure, the atmosphere around her tinged in darkness. She seemed to fly across the sky, eclipsing everything in her path. I shuddered as she drew nearer, suddenly certain in my very bones that there was no stopping such a heinous force; I was an insect and she a Titaness.
Oh god, I don't want to die. I don't want to die, I want to live. I summoned the moon stick, and even that seemed to take a great deal of energy. I could almost sense Serenity stir then, as though hearing my desperate pleas, and with no better options before I found myself thinking to her. You wanted this, right Serenity? You wanted this to happen, and now Metaria is here; you put me in this position, now I expect you to get me out of it.
Metaria closed in on me, less than fifty feet.
It was like being tied to the tracks while a train sped your way; there was no avoiding it, no matter how hard I struggled and I could only watch in numb horror.
Or at least, that was what I had thought.
Suddenly the air crackled with electricity as Lightning shot right over my shoulder, heading straight for Metaria. I flinched on reflex, ducking away as the bolt made contact with the Titaness; she halted in her movements as it struck her, and for a moment I thought it had actually done some damage. Only, the bolt of lightning seemed to sink into her form rather than scorching it and disappearing. Understanding washed over me as Makoto's attack sank entirely.
Metaria had absorbed the lightning.
Apparently that wasn't enough to stop Makoto, because she charged right past me like the fearless fool she was, leading everyone save Jadeite and Rei right into battle. Darkness swept over the land around us, turning day into night as our two groups threw everything they had at Metaria and she absorbed their attacks in turn. Kunzite yelled something about her forehead being her weak spot just as Metaria let out an attack that had the Scouts flying backwards. I ducked to avoid the backlash, cringing, and this is where things became a bit murky.
When I opened my eyes again, it was clear to me that significant time had passed.
Littered on the ground at my feet were the Sailor Scouts, beaten and unconscious. Mamoru was crouched at Ami's side in concern, and around us the Generals appeared to have turned their focus on maintaining a barrier of sorts. The ground was cracked and scorched, far more so than I remembered, and the overall scene unnerved me. I had lost time somehow, and now no one seemed to be moving either.
Everything was frozen, and Serenity-
She was corporeal, standing right next to me.
Her form let off a faint glow, soft moonlight that might have comforted me if the outline of her hadn't been so faint, translucent and ghost-like; it was the only tell that clued me in to the fact that she was not actually here in the flesh, despite how real she seemed. Upon closer look, I realized, to my dismay, there were tears slipping down Serenity's face. The loss of time and my exhaustion had left me disorientated, and her tears only added to the feeling.
I fumbled for words, a dozen questions fighting for dominance at the tip of my tongue.
How much time had passed for the battle to progress this much? Not hours, because surely we would never last that long against the supernatural force that was Metaria, so how many minutes? How had this situation come to be, why did time seem to not flow as it should? If there was this much damage from the fight then why couldn't I remember any of it, and why was I completely untouched?
How the hell was Serenity here?
As I studied her, those tears stuck a chord; I grasped onto that familiarity, briefly glad to have found at least one answer on my own. Of course, then betrayal washed over me and any gratitude I might have felt died a quick death as the reason for her tears dawned on me.
"How could you?" I choked, jerking away from her outstretched hand and staggering back. Serenity had betrayed me, she'd used me, taken advantage of me when I fell to my lowest point; and- oh god. I had blindly trusted her, I'd followed her lead without a second thought.
How could I have been so naïve?
"Please," She reached out, taking my hand in hers and squeezing firmly. I started at the warmth emanating off her skin, the sensation of her unyielding grip. Serenity felt solid, as though she was physically here with me, and that simply wasn't possible, right? "I had to Usagi, I had no choice. You would have left, would have ran away and I couldn't let you do that. We weren't going to get another opportunity like that one. I told you before, the outcome of this war hinders on you, on your actions; you cannot run away from this."
My gaze was baleful. I was angry, furious with both her and myself, because this was partially my fault, wasn't it? A person couldn't lead you into danger unless you allowed them to, they couldn't betray you unless you gave them to power to do so. "I never agreed to fight this war in your place Serenity. I didn't give you my consent."
"Yet you used the Silver Crystal as I had taught you to." Serenity remarked softly. Her hand squeezed mine as another tear spilled over and began to slide down her cheek. "You purified Endymion's guardians, and twice now you healed Sailor Mars without provocation. When you came face to face with Queen Beryl, she gave you an opportunity, a way out of sorts just as you had wanted. You did not take it. When you thought Sailor Mars dead, when you witnessed the pain of her comrades, that was the moment everything changed for you, was it not?"
"Nothing changed." I snapped. "The only change to be seen was from you and your betrayal."
Maybe she thought I deserved this, for snatching this life from her; maybe I did deserve it, but even if that was the case that didn't mean her betrayal hurt any less. It didn't seem like Serenity's way of doing things though, she didn't strike me as vindictive or grudging, let alone deceitful. But then, she hadn't really needed to say anything to me directly, had she?
Serenity gave a pained smiled, as though she knew exactly what I was thinking. Whether or not that was the case, she didn't comment on it, instead continuing her previous train of thought. "You empathized with them, truly understood them for once; it was the first time you were on even ground, I think. Why did you not accept Beryl's proposition? You did not even consider it, and that is rather odd for someone who prioritizes herself above all else."
I stared at her, struggling to form the right words.
Why did this even matter right now? I didn't have an immediate explanation for my actions at that time, there had been no need to clarify them to myself and what's more, I saw no reason why I had to justify myself to anyone. We didn't have time for one of her life lessons, now when we were in the midst of a battle. A battle I couldn't remember and remained untouched by, no less.
What was going on?
Sadly, Serenity was in no mood to humor me.
"You did not take Queen Beryl's offer because it was worthless, it meant nothing to you in comparison to what you valued most then and there. You did not value your life, or your survival as much as you thought, at least not in that moment. Sailor Mars had crossed enemy lines to rescue you, she had gotten hurt during that fall protecting you; Hino Rei was brave enough to come to your aid and she supposedly died for it."
A gleam entered her gaze then, fierce and strong. Somehow, it made her look even less like me. "The Sailor Scouts, your supposed enemies, had risked their lives for you and in return what had they received for their troubles? Capture, the trauma of finding their friend dead on the floor, made to kneel next to her corpse, and the knowledge of their impeding execution. You could have walked away, lived to see another day."
"We don't know that."
"Don't we?" Her tone made me want to flinch away, and I forced myself to still. "You didn't even consider it because at that moment you valued justice over your life, Usagi; it was more important to you that Queen Beryl die for her actions and that Sailor Venus receive her vengeance, even at the cost of your own life."
A bitter laugh escaped me, and I worked to not bare my teeth at her. "I never would have had to make that choice if you hadn't led me there. Don't try to paint me to fit the image in your mind; before Rei had gotten hurt I'd been two seconds away from leaving her behind because she hadn't wanted to go the way you'd been leading me. If sacrificing the Sailor Scouts and the Generals would stop Metaria for good then I would do it right now, so don't make me out to be a better person than I actually am. You forced my hand Serenity."
"This is your war as well, Usagi." She dropped my hand, glancing to Metaria. "You didn't have to verbally agree to fight in my place, because you've been doing so the entire time. I am sorry for hurting you, but it was necessary; this fight concerns both of us, and as the guardian of the moon it is time that you accept it. The Sailor Scouts didn't abandon you to die when you thought they would, and now they can no longer fight. You could use the distraction to flee, leave them to die, if that is what you wish; I think you might even make it back to your dear friend in time. What will Sailor Moon do now?"
My jaw clenched.
What good would that be, now? It wasn't a sacrifice that would allow me to win this war; it wouldn't save Matsuo, so in the long run what good would that do me? A risk versus reward with no actual reward. I'd taint my hands, but not for such a shitty outcome.
As if there was even a choic-
The world exploded.
Materia struck out at the Generals, and their force field collapsed as they were thrown back. I was in a frenzy, dazed and afraid; I was so lost, and I didn't want this, hated that the decision rested on my shoulders. I did not want any of us to die here, and as Metaria locked in on the others, my body made the unconscious choice of me.
I turned and ran, releasing a burst of power from the Silver Crystal.
It worked, distracting Metaria from her prey as she turned and locked eyes on me. I could have laughed, because in the end what was Sailor Moon compared to a Titan? Who could possibly expect to best something so out of their league? As she advanced on me, slowly in an almost curious way, my words came out in a breathless rush. "I can't defeat her."
Not on my own, there was no way.
"I'm with you Usagi." Serenity swore. She reached out and grasped the moon stick, gripping it tightly just below my own hold. "Perhaps it is not much, but I will be with you until the very end, just as I promised. We're the same, remember?"
That was right… I wasn't alone.
I had Serenity, and even if I died here, I wouldn't do it alone.
We were two halves of the same moon.
I would never be alone again.
Serenity's free hand reached out and found my own, fingers intertwining as our palms met between us. The moon stick glowed, it's shape beginning to alter; it stretched, lengthening in size until it was touching the ground. The crescent moon retained its appearance, but the red of the hilt seemed to fade and darken, becoming the same iron-like shade as my tiara.
A tingling sensation started in my palm, sharp and pure.
There was something there, something growing but I dared not pull away. Power surged where our palms met, flooding through our bodies and out our other hands to the moon scepter in a crescendo. Moonlight, luminous and brighter than I had ever seen, began to shine from the scepter, warding Metaria off. I never would have been able to accomplish this alone, but with Serenity here the game was changed; our powers came from the same source, and together we were stronger.
The Coward and the Princess.
"I don't know how to forgive you for luring me to Beryl." I told Serenity. It was the kind of wound that would take time to heal, and time was something we did not have. At least, that's what I thought; I wasn't too sure of anything right now. I didn't even know if I was actually having this conversation with her, if she was actually here next to me.
Whether any of this was real, I couldn't tell anymore.
Time had fractured, the world was broken, or maybe I was; there didn't seem to be much of a difference either way. This day had lasted forever, something had come undone along the way and now dreams and reality were bleeding together and there was no telling them apart.
The princess smiled sadly. "That's okay."
She was here now, she was trying to make up for it the same way I wanted to make up for stealing this life from her.
We were doing the best we could with what the world had dealt us.
Together, Serenity and I stared down Queen Metaria; I could feel the words forming on my tongue, could feel the buildup of power between us as Serenity and I called upon the Silver Crystal; yet another oddity that was both wrong and made perfect sense.
Our voices rang out together in perfect unison.
"In the name of the Moon Kingdom, we banish you."
Two months later
Kyoto was breathtaking in winter.
Snow crunched under my waterproof boots as I hiked up the path of stone steps at a slow, leisurely pace. The path I took was sparsely used, and so save for the occasional wanderer, I had it to myself. This, of course, had been the chief factor in my decision to come here today; the shrine was small, and on this day with the snow making the long fight of steps hazardous to climb, there were very few people willing to pay a visit. After all, why make the journey when there were a dozen other shrines, of greater size and better looked after?
Plus, customs were quite different in Japan.
In this culture, today wasn't as grand an event as it would have been Before. People were excited, yes, but they did not see it the same way. That was fair enough, considering Japan wasn't rooted in western ideals the way Europe and America were. Part of me found solace in this, because though it was a teensy bit lonely, it was like thanksgiving in that I had the holiday all to myself. These days were sacred to me now, and I could revel in them without fear of questions or prying eyes, I didn't have to pretend they meant anything less to me than they truly did.
These days were a tribute, a memorial to a life now out of reach.
To a girl that had lived and died.
As my feet brought me up the final few stairs I ran over my itinerary for the rest of this month. I still had a few destinations left on my bucket list to finish before I moved on to the next location, but I didn't think I would get through all of them before the month was over. Higashiyama, a preserved historical district in Kyoto, was one of my favorite haunts, and instead of abiding by my schedule I had kept going back to wander the streets there.
Something about the district was soothing to me, and I had spent a good majority of my time in that area, exploring and speaking with the locals. Higashiyama was a place I thought I could be happy making a home for myself in, one day. In these past two months of traveling, I had found myself slowing falling in love with this country and it was equally amusing and saddening. Japan was so rich with history, and now that I wasn't in school it fascinated me, the things I'd learned. I didn't have to read and give myself a headache to learn anymore, I was doing it through hands on experience.
It made me wonder what Tokyo would have been like without tainted memories.
There were only two other people when I finally arrived on the top step, an older couple, and they passed me on their way out. I paused to watch as the man cautioned his companion on the slippery steps as he began to carefully lead her down them. It stirred warmth in me, and I turned away from the couple, continuing forward. The shrine wasn't decorated with twinkly lights like a good portion of Kyoto was, but that was to be expected.
I went through the motions of paying my respects the way I had seen others do during my travels. Then, I turned my back to the warm glow of the shrine and found myself a comfortable spot at the top of the steps, overlooking the merry streets below. The postcards in my pocket weighed heavily, as if reminding me they needed to be sent out tonight if I wanted to ensure they made it to Harumi before the New Year. They were cheesy ones with a picture of the Tokyo tower; I'd snatched about fifty of them at the train station on my way out of the city.
I always sent them to Harumi.
One for him, one for Hajime-sensei, and sometimes one for Matsuo; it was more difficult to write to him, to find the right words or any at all really. I was never sure what to say, or if he even read them to begin with; for all I knew, he could be throwing each one away, uninterested in hearing from me. The idea hurt, but I wouldn't really blame him, and I'd continue to write just so he knew I was okay, alive and well. If Matsuo didn't want my letters he had no way of telling me, and I was too chicken to call and find out.
I had left without saying goodbye, without saying anything.
There hadn't been anything to say.
My body had given in to exhaustion only moments after Serenity and I had taken on Metaria. When I had come to in the spare room of Matsuo's apartment, one might have thought I'd have been glad; glad to be rid of Beryl's lot, to have made it out alive, to have actually, finally succeeded in bringing the Scouts and the Generals together. Any of those should have been my first thought, or something along those lines at the very least.
I wished that had been the case.
My first thought upon realizing the situation and our victory had been a quiet, numb, Oh.
There had been no joy, no relief to be found in me; neither in that moment, nor the countless ones afterwards. Maybe it was my horrific experience behind enemy lines, or those two fights with Jadeite and Nephrite, or all that time spent driven by my fear, scheming and avoiding the Sailor Scouts and coping with who I had become; perhaps it was a combination of all three things that did it. Whatever the case was, upon waking to the knowledge that the war had been won, I found naught but the taste of a hollow victory.
Trauma had robbed me of those feelings.
And so, quietly, I had gotten up and slipped out of the apartment at the dead of night. I stopped twice, once to gather my things, and once to drop off a letter of resignation to the Fabler. Then I had hopped on the next available train, and never looked back. Japan was slowly breathing life back into me, allowing me time to cope with what had happened, the things I'd seen and done. Not even a year ago I had been an average college student about to flunk her finals, and now…
Traveling was therapeutic for me, and I didn't regret leaving.
Matsuo had to be upset with me though.
Or perhaps, and this was what scared me most, perhaps he didn't care at all. Maybe my sudden disappearance had hardly impacted him, and Matsuo had simply moved on as though I'd never existed in the first place. It was probably my deepest fear, and the main reason behind my postcards to him, as selfish as it was; they were a reminder, a little piece of paper to show I still existed and to not forget me.
Not like the Tsukino family had.
Over two months, and they had never filed a missing person's report. I wasn't sure what the school thought, all I knew was that to the best of my knowledge there was no one in the world looking for me. My letters to Harumi and Hajime-sensei were genuine, because I knew they cared and would appreciate hearing from me. My letters to Matsuo were a plea, a test; did I mean anything, or was my presence so miniscule that no one had noticed when I'd left?
It frustrated me, because I knew what I was asking for, knew it was silly and wanted it so desperately. Proof of my existence, because there seemed to be a glitch in the universe ever since the North Pole, and I didn't know how to fix it. I wasn't sure how much truth there was to reality these days. I had nothing left of my past life other than memories, and now I wasn't even positive I could trust those anymore.
It began to snow again.
The hands of the watch at my wrist ticked forward, coming together at the top to read 12 a.m. I glanced up to the cloud covered sky, and then back to the festive town below; there were no fireworks or anything, no change in the world save for me. A warmth emitted from the necklace hanging at my chest, familiar and somewhat soothing. From the corner of my eye a faint glow appeared next to me, and I turned my right.
Serenity sat beside me, her white gown pooling around her ankles; her chin laid in her hands, fingers splayed across her rosy cheeks and the fabric of her dress creased where her elbows rested on her knees. Puffs of air left her lips, as tangible in the cold as my own were.
She looked so real, like I could reach out and touch her.
Part of me was too frightened to act on the thought, too afraid of what I would find, what that would mean. Serenity tilted her head to look at me, her gaze affectionate as it met mine; there was a spark of something else there too, something playful and maybe even mischievous. She grinned at my raised brow, reading my suspicion for what it was though she made no comment on it.
Serenity's grin melted to something softer. "Merry Christmas, Usagi."
"Ah," I sighed, mustering up a smile of my own. Her company was welcome, despite the possible implications of it. She was… prevalent, far more so since the North Pole, and I knew it could only be linked to the appearance of the Silver Crystal. Or at least, I hoped that was what it was; the data was mixed, so at the moment there was no clear answer to be found and I was putting it off. I figured there was no harm in taking a break, a real full blown break from supernatural issues since the problem would still be there when I got back.
Today was the gift of giving, so I shoved such concerns from my mind, focusing back on the nearly solid form of my friend. "Merry Christmas, Serenity."
Hopefully, this year would be a good one.
A/N
I write the chapter. I finish the chapter. I proof read it. I edit. I proof read it one last time before sending it out, and it hAS A MASSIVE PLOT HOLE, LIKE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX MASSIVE. So I had to go back, rewrite that shit on the same night I'm supposed to post it, and now I'm so full of anxiety because I clearly am going to miss my deadline that the words do not flow as they are supposed to. Rewrite, read, edit, reread, edit again, scrap that scene, read, edit some more, and then finally proof read.
And here we are today, a week late.
I am a failure and a facsimile of a sham but I'd have died of shame if I had posted the plot hole chapter. I would have literally shriveled up, crawled under a rock, and died of shame.
Anyway, chapter's done! Before anything is said I'll address the Thing before I'm drowning in comments about it. Usagi was literally put through hell, her emotions beat with a Lucille Bat, and she was running on pure motivation alone. It only gets us so far in life. Yes, we will get to see the battle and it's aftermath later; I'm a writer and I have things planned a certain way, and they are going to go that way.
Progress is slow going, but at least it's going right? Hope you guys found something in this chapter to be worth the wait (terribly sorry), and if any of you are up to it tell me what your favorite part of the Dark Kingdom arc of this story was! Cat-kicking maybe? Serenity moments? Harumi interactions? Personally, I really enjoyed writing Venus this chapter, it was rather satisfying.
Quick Q & A!
Kel203 asks what Rabbit of the Moon was like before I adopted it and what inspired me.
Well, it was actually rather interesting, and we got to see the reason Usagi come to find herself in said body within a few chapters. I'd been following it for a while and when the author put it up for adoption, I had been devastated. At the time my first fic had been doing rather well, and it gave me the confidence to message the author and ask if she was willing to entrust the story to me. I take my inspiration from anywhere I can find it, mostly from other fanfics. I don't really read Sailor moon fanfics and I keep my watching of the show to a minimum to keep a solid grasp on how I view the characters. Sailor Moon wiki and TV tropes are my research weapons.
Jayuchiha16 has no question but her PM made me smile, so thank you!
Chobits15 I do believe I have answered most of your questions but just in case…
I go off a hellish mix of the manga, 90's anime, and crystal. I don't have a set schedule for updating because then we get an anxiety ridden author that misses her dates and can't throw a decent chapter together to save her own life.
Seth A. Mincberg has a load of questions, but I'm only answering one For Reasons.
Will I be going into further arcs? Yes, a thousand times yes have you any idea of the potential here? I would be a fool to stop now. That said, I will not go into details about the next arcs for spoiler reasons. Some will be big, some will be small, some will be scrapped entirely. You'll just have to wait and see.
FAQ!
Will Rini/Chibi-Usa be appearing in this story?
Christ yes but if you'd all just give me a moment you'd have gotten the pleasant surprise for yourselves. You've made your beds and I now expect each and every one of you to lie in them.
Will you be including the Mikai Tree arc?
Hmmmm….. Is it really so hard to wait and find out?
Will you be including the Outer Senshi?
Like I'd tell you guys. But yes.
What's going on with Naru?
Good question, well thought out. What do you think is going on with her?
Are you going to do a Kunzite/Zoisite pairing?
I've been really torn on this for a while now, but ultimately the answer is no. I am so intrigued by the chaos that would no doubt be Venus and Kunzite as a power couple that I just have to write it. I have to. Kunzite is bi in my mind though.
When will you update next?
Is nothing sacred in this world?
I'm taking a beautiful week off from Rabbit of the Moon, because after the stress this chapter inflicted upon my lizard brain I need to look at a different fic for a while. Only a week though and then its back to writing because I have a rough idea of the next chapter and I'm dying to write a certain scene. Either I'll work on E&R, or one of my other fics I'm in the process of creating.
I have a lovely one in the works, an Azula SI fic in Avatar: The Last Airbender if anyone's interested.
Anyway,
Thoughts? Questions?
Please Review!
Edit: Regarding any further confusion about what happened to Usagi during that last battle, you're supposed to be confused. We're reading through her perspective and she's confused; poor girl had a head injury which doesn't help, so it would be difficult to understand that maybe every odd thing she experienced is real, just something she doesn't have the proper information to rationalize yet.
Again sorry for having been too vague, I hope this cleared some things up!
