A/N
Why did I post two chapters, you ask?
Because I make a VOW that we would get to see certain things in this chapter, but then it got too long so I had to end it and write the next. You all get two chapters in one day and I get to keep my word and honor as a writer.
Win-win, sort of.
Disclaimer: I own this fic, obviously.
Matsuo P.O.V.
She was gone when I woke up.
There was a terrible moment where I could feel myself sit up, stare at the empty cushion beside me in the dead silence of the apartment, and just… know.
Usagi wasn't here.
I leapt from the couch and staggered into the spare room all the while trying to ignore the sensation of falling, as though having stepped off the ledge of a very high place with the ground rapidly rising to meet me. Only when I saw her belongings on the floor next to the bed, inevitable proof that Usagi had not disappeared into the night once more, did my lungs finally fill with air and the floor steady itself beneath me.
But still, she was gone.
I stifled the lingering threads of panic before they could overwhelm me –Usagi wouldn't leave me like that again, as though it were nothing, she wouldn't go without a word- and picked up the house phone, dialing a number I now knew by heart.
Mamoru picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?" The Prince's voice was fully alert.
Almost like he'd been waiting next to the phone, too worried to stray far from the landline. Exactly as I had been last night, pacing back and forth outside Usagi-chan's room, unable to sleep for fear she'd not be there when I next woke. There was something humorous about it, how similar our reactions to Usagi were (stress, exasperation). Had the situation not been what it was I might have laughed, because honestly, who would have seen this coming?
Mamoru and I had bonded over the insanity that was Usagi-chan, of all things.
It was a shared concern that I was grateful for, if only because it meant having someone I could vent to without potentially spoiling their opinion of her. After all, it was Mamoru that had come with me to Otaru, volunteering himself before I had the chance to ask; Mamoru and not Makoto-chan that I spoke to about her. What would she have to say to that, I wonder? What would Usagi think if she knew that one of the people she claimed to be a constant annoyance also happened to care almost (but not quite) as much as myself?
I put those thoughts aside for the moment. "It's me, Matsuo."
"I know, I have caller ID." Mamoru replied, and of course he did, the rich bastard; I'd have to look into getting that, if I could afford it. Keeping up with the growth of technology was a pain, not to mention expensive. Caller ID, Computers in schools; honestly, what was next? "What's up? Is Usagi…?"
His voice trailed off, as though it was a sentence he didn't want to finish.
Understandable, given it was Usagi.
"She's gone." I forced the words out. The other side of the line went deadly quiet, and before the Princeling could jump to conclusions I hurriedly added, "Her stuff is still here, but Usagi isn't in the apartment, and I have no idea when she might have left or where she could be."
A pause.
"…You haven't said you don't know why she left."
Clever guy. I'd carefully left that out hoping he wouldn't think to ask, because I had a pretty good idea of why Usagi wasn't here right now and it wasn't something I wanted to spend any length of time thinking on. "She figured it out. She knows she isn't alive in the future."
A curse rang out from the other end of the phone.
"How did she take it?"
The scene from last night played back in my mind, Usagi's pale, almost broken expression, the soft tone as she stated, I'm already dead, aren't I? as if it were obvious, an inevitable and foregone conclusion.
Like she could already taste her end, could see it looming in the distance.
I cleared my throat. "It… could have been worse. She sort of shut down, likely in denial or just ignoring it completely. Look, I'm not sure whether to report this in to headquarters or leave it be and look for her ourselves."
It was too big a city. I knew Usagi, but finding her alone could take hours and hours, especially when she had a decent head start and didn't want to be found. Mamoru would be of help, but even with him… it would take too long. Usagi wasn't okay, I wasn't much better, and there would be no reprieve from the sinking feeling in my gut until someone found her. If she wanted to be alone, fine, I wouldn't bother her and Usagi could have her space, I just needed to check on her.
I just needed to see that this wasn't like last time.
Mamoru knew it too. "You start looking now, and I'll inform the Order. We'll get Ami and Naru watching the train station just in case, and I'll round up whoever else is available. Send Ami a list of possible places she could be at and we'll check those."
"Wait, ask Naru too." I murmured as the thought occurred to me, "She knew Usagi the longest, so maybe Naru will have some idea where to look."
"On it." He sighed. "Minako will lose it if Usagi jumps ship before hearing her out."
"She wouldn't." My reply was automatic, defensive.
It didn't convince me.
Mamoru paused. "You're right. It's probably fine, and she just needed some air." There was a shuffling from his end. "For now, let's keep what she found out between the two of us until Usagi's ready to bring it up herself. Knowing you have an expiration date… well, it's a healthy reaction, far better than what we might have expected. We'll find her, and go from there."
"And if she does intend to leave?" The words were out before I could fully think them through, but it was Mamoru, and I had to know now before anything had the chance to get out of hand. "If Usagi-chan decides she doesn't want this, if she chooses to go, what then?"
"Then we figure it out without her." His reply was firm. "However, I don't think it will come to that. I think…. I think even if she did leave, eventually Usagi would find her way back. She has to make the choice herself, Minako wouldn't have her any other way."
There was a sort of quiet passion in Mamoru's tone, a genuine tilt that said he truly believed those words. It was a lovely sentiment too, that the Usagi who'd slipped out into the night without a single word would now choose to stay and fight for our cause. I didn't dare to put stock in that daydream as I thanked him and got off the phone. I threw on a coat and slipped into my shoes, absently going through the motions as I drew a mental map of the places to start looking. She wouldn't disappear like before, not now, not after realizing how wrong it was.
Right?
The letters she'd sent came to mind along with a treacherous voice that whispered, But she'd known it was wrong and had gone through with it anyway, hadn't she?
My feet cemented to the ground as I acknowledged that yes, Usagi had left the way she had at least somewhat aware of the consequences. It showed clear as day in her letters, guilt and regret and fear despite having had no intention of returning and no desire to be found. This… it had been a mistake, hadn't it? Bringing her back- I'd known it too, after talking to her yesterday morning. Usagi didn't want this kind of life, she wanted normalcy, not to be dragged into what ultimately amounted to another battle.
Was it acceptable to go look for her right now?
Did I have any right to?
Usagi… she was family, more so than the people I shared blood with, people I hadn't spoken to in years. Hajime-sensei, who taught me to defend myself, to stand tall and fight back, was family. Harumi, who had given me a job and handed me the means to become independent, to build myself a happier life, was family, and so was Usagi-chan. Usagi, who started out as a quiet, fierce, unwavering presence and then became someone that not only listened, but understood; someone that cared, that took the ugly parts, accepted them for what they were, and then kept on caring.
And she did it so effortlessly.
As though there was nothing to it, like her acceptance was a given and that those countless hours spent walking nowhere, talking about anything and everything, letting me rant or rage or groan- as if that was where we were always meant to be. Usagi was family, her love came free and it was so all-consuming that there was no doubting whether you were someone worth loving, whether you were deserving or capable of receiving it. She was the one that had showed me I could have something good and keep it, past be damned.
That I could find someone like Makoto-chan and keep her without it all going horribly wrong.
Usagi was the stranger that walked into my life, looked at the broken shards, jagged edges, and said "That's okay" before proceeding to make herself at home. Usagi was family, the most easy and effortless insertion into my life, and once she was there it felt as though we'd always known one another.
And then she had left just as easily.
How jarring that had been.
I had known she wasn't happy, that here was something wrong with her situation and once, it had occurred to me that a day could come where Usagi-chan decided enough was enough. For whatever reason though I hadn't ever actually believed that she would leave. I'd gotten it into my head that we would mend her wounds the way she had helped mend mine, that I'd scoop up my best friend and save her from a bad situation the way Harumi and Hajime-sensei had me, and that eventually it was all going to work out.
Even after finding out about the supernatural world and realizing the problem wasn't as clear cut as it had originally seemed, I'd figured we would make it work somehow. She would learn to get past her issues with Makoto-chan and we'd live together and Usagi would bully me the exact way she did at work and I'd take it because her bullying and teasing was the affectionate kind, the sort I imagined siblings utilized.
But that wasn't what happened.
She'd just… left.
Usagi-chan likely didn't want to be found at the moment, so what right did I have to look for her?
She was my family, but… that didn't make me hers.
There would be no explaining it to her either; how did you tell the person responsible for giving you a possible case of abandonment issues that leaving unexpectedly, in the exact same manner, might perhaps be a poor idea. Usagi didn't want to be found, and I no longer held the same confidence in the strength of our friendship, so what right did I have to go hunt her down other than to ease my own anxiety?
Try as I might, I couldn't find an answer to the question that plagued me. I was still wrestling with the thought, staring off into space in the entrance hall when I saw it- a yellow sheet of paper taped to the door with hastily scrawled words. My feet moved forward without thought as I ripped the note off the door and read it once and then twice and then a final time in sheer disbelief.
Dearest Matsuo,
Stop right there! Don't freak out (is it too late to say that?) but I've gone into town on business and likely won't be back until far later in the day. Also, don't be mad. I've got things to do, eleven week old errands to run and whatnot, and while I realize the lack of my shining presence may prove difficult to bear, I'm afraid you'll just have to tolerate it.
Sincerely (and with the deepest of sympathies),
Me
It was… so Usagi; so dramatic and ridiculous and unexpected, and somehow, that very notion soothed the uncertainty. Mamoru was right, she was probably fine and needed some time to think or cope. It would be okay. I didn't need to chase after her as though she was as fleeting as leaves in the wind.
Then again…
Usagi-chan was rather adept at getting into all sorts of trouble when left to her own devices. Picking fights, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and somehow managing to cross paths with magic or ESP wielding individuals. I wasn't going to actively hunt her down when she needed some space or alone time, but that didn't mean I had to stay in either. I was just… going for a casual stroll, for an extended amount of time around the city, casually. If I happened to cross paths with Usagi, well, coincidences did happen.
It was just a morning stretch.
Main P.O.V.
I stashed the satchel and my mostly useless collection of books in the back of a dark, dusty little cupboard in the back room before sneaking out of Rei's shrine. Unfortunately, her grandfather was skulking about out front so I didn't get a chance to pay my respects, instead too focused on getting away unseen. Part of me lingered briefly on the thought that cosmic karma might punish me for that, but, to be fair, I figured it didn't matter how good I was as the universe was likely to keep dishing out the abuse either way.
With the sun low in the sky –not quite peeking through the thick layer of gray- I began the long trek towards Matsuo's apartment. With the upcoming meeting on the forefront of my mind, I couldn't help but think back to what Serenity and I had discussed.
Too convenient, Something in me hummed.
I understood Serenity's worries, her fierce words, because upon looking at the situation from a different angle… it was too convenient.
Somehow, this was a trap.
How, exactly, I had yet to figure out, but surely it was because what other explanation could there possibly be? Nothing in life was ever this easy going, never so simple or so neat; no, this was undoubtedly a trap and either I sprang it or I figured out a way to disable it despite the severe odds stacked against me. Thoughts of Matsuo, of Rei and Mamoru and even Naru invaded my mind, and my heart clenched oddly at the thought that these people could be in on something against myself and, by extension, Serenity.
At the very least, surely, surely not Matsuo, never him.
We weren't as close as we'd once been, but surely he would never betray me like that, as something to be used, even if for the greater good. The rest, however… it left a bad taste in my mouth, strangely enough, and yet I couldn't bring myself to give them the same near immediate benefit of the doubt as I had my best friend. Everything just- it all fit so cleanly, pieces clicking into place one after another in a procession too smooth to be coincidence.
Rini arrives mere hours after I slip away, and in the span of eleven weeks by an offhand comment of her own, the Order of Elysion is formed and running like a well-oiled machine. Then, of course, she tracks me down in Otaru, a place I wouldn't have been in on that day had that officer in Kyoto not spooked me. I'd agreed to come back on my own, but if I hadn't, if I'd just waited, I was sure they'd have reeled me in somehow. Mamoru was smart, and he'd had a ten hour train ride to come up with a plan; one that Matsuo likely hadn't stuck to. Of course, what did that matter because I was here now, wasn't I?
And I wouldn't be leaving, either.
No, my fate had been sealed the moment those words slipped off the child's tongue. You save her. Now there was no choice, even knowing that a trap lay somewhere in this twist of events I couldn't turn my back to the possibility. Hook, line, and sinker. I was in this for the long haul, if only because now that the thought was there, I could see it come to fruition oh so clearly in my mind's eye. This world was filled with magic, actual magic; possibilities were endless, and if anyone had the resolve for such an endeavor it was me. Build a body, transfer her soul, I could do that, I would get it done.
Even if it meant walking head first into a trap.
I had no illusions of coming out of whatever horrors awaited me unscathed. If I had learned anything from my time in this world it was that the universe demanded equal exchange. This body in exchange for thirteen year old Tsukino, the draining of my life force in exchange for Naru's recovery, the burden of Sailor Moon in exchange for Matsuo's life. This for that, quid pro quo, that was how the world worked and no doubt Serenity's future came at an unseemly cost, one I was preparing myself to pay.
At a glance I pretty sure I knew what the price wouldn't be.
It wouldn't be me or my life if Rini was to be believed as Serenity and I were supposedly to have spent a fair amount of time together; plus, I had already paid for this second chance, and I wasn't wasteful. It wouldn't be Mamoru, because otherwise Rini wouldn't be alive, and it wouldn't be Matsuo because I would never allow that, not in a million years (I had not taken up the mantle of Sailor Moon only to have that sacrifice thrown back in my face). It would not be any of these things and yet, for reasons I couldn't explain, part of me remained sure that the price of this would come in the form of life.
A human life.
Quid pro quo.
But I wasn't thinking too harshly on that thought, on whether I was truly enough of a monster yet, had fallen far enough, to go through with such an atrocity (and it was an atrocity, to steal life, yet another life, just so Serenity could live). I had no proof of the cost and, at the moment, far bigger concerns to fixate on than a moral dilemma I might never have to face.
One thing at a time.
I was going into this meeting blind, possibly outnumbered and at a severe disadvantage. Hopefully, the Order wasn't my enemy here and that, if this truly was a trap made to lure me in, the one responsible hadn't been lying about Serenity's revival and subsequent rise to the throne. For if that was indeed the case here, if someone was pulling strings and using my friend, her future, to bait me in? Then god help that poor, misguided fool.
Because they would find no mercy in me.
Half an hour before the meeting, I didn't meet up with Matsuo so much as I ran headlong into his back. A surprised 'oh' left me as he spun and caught me by the arm before I could topple backwards onto the pavement. The movement was so fast and neat that I found myself marveling as the ease of it; months of training with Hajime-sensei and I was never that smooth.
Matsuo blinked. "Usagi-chan."
"Nice catch," I commented, finding my balance once more. His hand fell away, and for moment neither of us said anything, simply watching one another as something weighed between us. It was the type of pause in the air that stirred old fears within me, because I could tell, without knowing quite why, that this moment was important; that a decision was being made.
In the end, he merely smiled and chirped, "Let's get going."
And we did.
I fell into step beside him effortlessly and together we journeyed toward Elysion headquarters. It was a walk spent in silence, a terrible one where I waited for questions Matsuo didn't ask all while straying as far as possible from the pain reflected in his eyes; pain he thought he could hide behind a sunny disposition. He couldn't, and seeing that hurt made me feel as though I was rotting from the inside out. All I could think was Not this, not this, never this.
We were never supposed to be like this. Matsuo was supposed to be the easy part of ly life, the part that soothed instead of ached. And yet here the two of us were, silently hurting from wounds that had no right to exist.
I didn't know how to fix it.
Everything had become so complicated now, and I didn't know how to bridge this gap between us, how to fix it. Part of me was afraid that it couldn't be fixed, because it was no longer Matsuo and I against the world anymore; there was so much more at stake, because now Matsuo had other precious people to protect, to take a stand with and… and I was no different.
Matsuo had the Order of Elysion, and I had Serenity.
If things got ugly… There was no doubt in my mind that the Order of Elysion was important to Matsuo, that it truly meant something and that he dearly wanted to protect it. With the way he spoke of them, of the work they did with such unabashed passion, I would be a fool to not see it. I understood that desire to protect, easily dredging up the fierce, all consuming resolve that had gripped me when my friend had been at the mercy of a monster, pinned beneath a tree and on death's door.
In that moment there had been no lines I wouldn't cross, no amount of blood I wouldn't spill to give him just one more chance (and that's what it all boiled down to, in the end, wasn't it? Second chances- one more day, one more shot, one more moment of happiness). So, I understood, more than he would ever know I understood just how far a person might go to protect what they considered precious. I just wasn't sure where that left us now, given how close to the edge of cataclysmic we were.
I told myself Matsuo would never join the Order if they had ill intentions, if they still carried a grudge against me; Matsuo was good, and noble, and kind, and at the very least he wouldn't be a part of anything insidious. I hoped that was true, because It wasn't just my life on the line anymore, but now the hope of Serenity's freedom as well, and if it ever came down to it, if any in the Order ever decided to take revenge for the damage I had incurred on each and every one of them, I would not go quietly, Matsuo's feelings be damned. The retribution would no doubt be somewhat deserved, as I had not been gentle in my quest for survival, but even so I had no intentions of allowing it.
Perhaps it would never come to that though.
The problem was you just never knew with people.
As we entered the forsaken district and followed down the path of old, half-forgotten sidewalks, I did what I could to prepare for whatever was to come, letting my other worries melt away. This turned out to be a smart move on my end, because as soon as the two of us crossed the threshold into the warehouse, Rei descended on us in her usual righteous indignation.
"You!" She nearly plowed Matsuo over in her quest to reach me, but he nicely sidestepped at the last moment and cleared Rei's path right to me. I gave the traitor a sour look that woefully went ignored as Rei continued, "Why? Why must you always wander off on your own at the least convenient moment? Do I need to commission Ami-chan to have a collar made? Will I have to handcuff myself to you, is that what it's going to take?"
I couldn't help it, I raised a brow. "Kinky. Are you really a priestess?"
There was a choking noise from Matsuo's direction, and Rei went red in a combination of embarrassment and possible rage.
"Every time-" She cut off, forcing a slow, deep breath and flexing her fingers as if to leash that ineffable temper. When Rei spoke again, it was with a simmering gaze and a low voice. "You are an unprecedented pain in my ass, Tsukino. Do you realize that every time you wander off, it causes me grief? You go frolicking down a hallway, and a ceiling falls on us. You prance off to follow a magic gut feeling, and I get impaled by vines. Stop. Wandering. Off."
I paused and considered whether I should mention that magic gut feeling as she so eloquently put it, had been Serenity and, more importantly, her traitorous act; that of which was really to blame for Rei's unfortunate experiences in the Dim Dynasty. In the end it was moot point, because Rei's expression indicated that she was in no mood for semantics or a debate, and that any further action on my part was likely to result in injury, fiery or otherwise.
"Wandering off is wrong and inconsiderate of me, got it. Henceforth, I will be more thoughtful of my actions and how they affect others."
She squinted at me, knowing I didn't intend to stick to my word but unable to call me out on it least she start another argument. "I mean it, Usagi."
"Okay."
"Don't go wandering off on your own at critical moments."
"Of course."
"If you cause me any more trouble, I'll turn you into barbeque."
"Understood."
We stared at one another. Rei pursed her lips, but allowed the matter to slide as I grinned, threw her a wink, and slipped past to examine the place. Now, it had to be said that I understood where she was coming from, that there was a difference between Me-Time and going off on my own recklessly. I got that, it was just that I felt no inclination to follow any orders, especially when it interfered with the agenda I had at work.
Surveying the warehouse, I found that its first floor was relatively empty save for Jadeite, who leaned against the conference table in the center of the open space, looking a bit putout. I swept my gaze past him, examining the two offices to his right. The first had its door open and the light off, signaling that it was not currently in use; the second however, had light shining around the cracks of its closed door. The window looking out into the warehouse was blocked by a set of blinds.
I couldn't hear anything from within, I wasn't close enough, but with the racket Rei and I had made moments prior whoever remained inside was undoubtedly aware of my arrival. That they hadn't seen fit to come out and greet me was telling, in a way. I focused on my hearing, not on the office itself but the warehouse in general and, after a moment, caught noise from the floor above us, a faint thump followed by another. Matsuo had said he worked upstairs… Well, wasn't this a delicious turn of events?
We weren't alone, but for the moment it was just us four. No Mamoru, no Ami, and no Minako; what a pleasant surprise indeed. A beautiful opportunity presented itself to me then, and, never one to miss a possible advantage, I latched onto it gleefully. I turned back to Jadeite and brightened my smile, approaching with silent footfalls; he stilled, likely sensing the beginning of the hunt as I cooed, "Hello, Jadeite; it's been quite a while since we last spoke, hasn't it?"
He eyed me the way one might a feral animal. "Yes, I believe so. I… take it you have been well?"
A hum escaped me. "More or less, I suppose. I have some thoughts that have been plaguing my mind though, some questions that I was hoping you might shed light onto. Why don't we take a stroll about the neighborhood?"
Now, Jadeite didn't blanch, exactly.
He came rather close to it though as my words sunk in and their meaning, along with the subtle threat behind them, imposed upon him. Jadeite leaned back a bit using what little room he had with the table behind him, eyes widening ever so slightly. "Perhaps this could wait, the meeting will start soon."
Yes, it would, and when it did I preferred not to be completely blindsided.
Any information would due.
I could feel two sets of eyes on my back as I released a breathy laugh and leaned in, closing the distance between Jadeite and I until there was only a few inches between us. At the end of things, there was only one concern that needed to be addressed if I was to dive into this meeting and come out of it relatively intact. I fluttered my lashes, peering up at him through them and inquired, too quietly for eavesdropping ears, "That matter… Where do the Generals stand?"
Translation: Did you four tell on me, or was that secret still safe?
He stared down at me in apprehension. "Perhaps we should sit down. There are… matters, I believe we should discuss."
My stomach flipped, gaze turning far less friendly.
He wanted to sit down and do this here, but was it for protection, assurance in numbers, or because my secret wasn't one anymore? If any of them had told… I resisted the urge to growl at Jadeite, burning holes into the General with my stare. I reminded myself that no matter what, I could not be angry or take any sort of petty revenge should I find that any of the Generals had revealed me, even if the thought grated.
The choice had always been theirs.
I had promised that, and I would not go back on my word, would not punish the Generals or hold the meaning of the silver crescent moons adorning their brows over them. This was a world where hardly any of us had ever been given the chance to make our own decisions. Mamoru, without memories, had become so plagued by dreams of the past that he had ended up turning into a vigilante. Then the Sailor Scouts, dragged away from ordinary life by a millennia old duty that by all right should no longer apply to them. Jadeite and the rest of his troop- they'd been given perhaps the worst hand out of us all, having been brainwashed and enslaved to Beryl and that heinous bitch Metaria
Having a choice was something we all deserved.
And right then, I smothered my ill feelings and made a choice of my own. "I don't want to sit."
I didn't back an inch, and Jadeite shifted uncomfortably. "Are you quite sure?"
"Yes."
He sighed, as though I were being difficult, which I might have been but that wasn't the point. "There is no easy way to say this so I will not mince my words."
Not a promising start.
"When we awoke on the battlefield, in the aftermath of Queen Metaria's defeat," Jadeite began quietly, "My Prince and the Sailor Scouts had regained their past memories of the Silver Millennium and their previous lives."
The silence that descended was a stunned one.
I blinked sedately, "Pardon?"
But Jadeite didn't reply; instead, he gave me a pitying look and I turned to Rei, then flashing back to Jadeite in order to avoid her hard stare. A horrid, nauseating feeling swept through me like a cold sweat and my throat began to close up as a voice in my head whispered, Thief, imposter, parasite.
God, what did they know?
What did they suspect?
The fear must have shone through my gaze, because without prompting Jadeite murmured, "Forgive me, but with the issues this brought forth I was forced to explain what you had confided in me regarding your past life all those months ago. How Queen Serenity chose you to be the secret guardian of the moon based on your resemblance to her daughter, which is why only a select few were ever made aware of your existence. Rest assured though, I provided them with only the barest of details out of necessity. It is still your story to tell."
It was a good thing my back was to Matsuo at that moment, because my expression went carefully blank at Jadeite's sudden and increasingly confounding words. I replayed them over in my head, uncomprehending or perhaps simply too startled by the implications.
Jadeite had lied.
To his comrades, to his beloved Prince… He had lied.
Was this a trick of some kind?
Rei shifted behind me. "As interested as I am to hear what you have to say, this thrilling tale should probably wait until the others are all here, unless you don't mind repeating yourself twice."
I couldn't tear my gaze from Jadeite to acknowledge her. In that moment, with only about a foot between us and those blue-gray eyes staring back at me with such seriousness, such intensity, Jadeite had my undivided attention. I understood then, just looking at him that yes, this was a trick, but it was not for me. He had flat out deceived the Order, because I had never hinted at any such story, had never even given an explanation or excuse as to my startling resemblance to Serenity. The only question remaining was why; why would Jadeite do such a thing, why would he go to such lengths to keep the others, even his Generals, from making their own unsavory conclusions?
Especially the Generals.
I knew without having to ask that this was something he had kept from them as well; lies could be rather heavy, and a lie of this proportion would be a burden he would not trust anyone else to uphold. In the end, Jadeite was the one that looked away, almost dismissively as he nodded at Rei and slipped around me to break our stare. I was frozen in place, unable to move as my mind frantically worked to understand this new revelation, screeching why why why?
Why had Jadeite helped me?
"You know," Rei cut in, a hand touching the crook of my elbow almost gently. "Since we have some time, why don't we give you a tour? I could show you what I do here, if you'd like."
There was something too… soft, about her tone.
Like she understood and sympathized with the bomb dropped on my head.
It made me want to lash out, or flinch and jerk my arm away, but I didn't. Instead, I schooled my features into something genuine- a mix of wariness, curiosity, and slight fear, and turned to face her. A blank expression was bad, not because of her but because of Matsuo, and it was his presence that spurned me to show some feelings. Sometimes Matsuo could read me like a book , and I couldn't risk him seeing too much this time; blank meant I had something to hide, it was a poker face that would, ironically, out me.
(Oh god, oh god, oh god. I would have to lie in front of him, I would have to lie so convincingly that the one person who knew me best wouldn't be able to see through my bullshit.)
Rei watched me with bright eyes.
I accepted the olive branch extended, the cease fire in the form of her offer and allowed a hesitant half grin to form. "Why not?"
A mischievous tilt of her lips. "Oh, I think you're gonna love this."
I was intrigued.
"These are the daily logs," Rei gestured to a thick binder, then to the brown leather journal beside it. "Ami reads the logs and… does whatever it is she does with them –everyone does a daily log and hands it in to her at the end of each week- but I keep a journal as well, just for little things, notes and ideas and whatnot. It's definitely a work in progress, but…"
"It's fantastic." My voice was that of faint awe as I took in the cluttered workspace. Five desks made up the bottom right corner of the warehouse –the cluttered area I had at first thought to be abandoned- and Rei's mini office, and while it wasn't much I couldn't deny the twinge of envy. There was something… homely, comfortable, about the scattered mess; it was chaotic and exactly the type of work I might have loved to delve into myself. Matsuo was a gym teacher, and the others did… well, I didn't know what, exactly, but it wasn't nearly as interesting as Rei's work, that was for sure.
Parapsychology: the study of paranormal and psychic phenomena.
Rei flushed prettily. "It's mostly Jadeite and I working here. I mean, Mamoru pops in every now and then to help out, because of his own ability, but he's sort of all over the place, you know? He works with everyone. Ami offers suggestions, and Matsuo works with us to incorporate our individual abilities into battle strategies or techniques, but mostly it's just Jadeite and I around here. We're hoping to get more people in the future but- well, you'll see when the meeting starts."
I glanced over at the various stacks of paper, humming. "How broad is parapsychology, anyway?"
Beryl had been a sorceress, did that count?
"Very, surprisingly." Jadeite answered. "There are the usual or more commonly known types like clairvoyance, precognition, telepathy, and whatnot. ESP is an umbrella term for pretty much all supernatural abilities. Parapsychology also includes things your mind might not normal jump to, like Aura-reading, retro cognition, channeling, apparitional experiences, and near death experiences."
I stilled and, almost unwillingly, asked, "Oh? So stuff like out of body experiences?"
"Astral projection." Rei clarified, nodding. "Like Jadeite said, it's a broad spectrum, and for the moment only the two of us are working on it."
I forced a few casual breaths, counting to ten. "Why the interest?"
"Well…" She sighed thoughtfully, forefinger tapping against her cheek. "It's an advantage we have, and being someone with ESP, I don't know, I just think it would have been nice to have known more about what I can do earlier, when it mattered most. It also couldn't hurt to find other people like myself, people who don't know what's going on with themselves and could use my help. Someone has got to start somewhere and be the backbone, you know?"
As I considered that, Rei turned to me with a frankly alarming gleam in her gaze. "I could always use another hand, you know, if you're interested. Having ESP isn't a requirement and, well, if having a past life doesn't qualify you then the ability to heal others certainly should."
From behind us Matsuo laughed. "Mamoru is going to kill you, Rei. Well, if Minako doesn't first."
Rei scoffed and I looked between the two of them, uncomprehending. "What do you mean?"
Instead of answering, Rei gave me a brilliant smile. "Usagi, I was thinking, there's a lot you don't know right now, and going into today's meeting… well, I know it's all a bit much to process at once, so if there's anything you want to know beforehand, you can definitely ask me."
I examined her, amusement rising. Now, I could have been wrong here as I didn't have all the context, but it sounded like Rei was trying to gain favor with me.
"Now they're definitely going to kill you." Matsuo said. He turned to Jadeite and lifted a brow. "Are you okay with this?"
The General laughed. "It's my division too."
"Meaning whatever Rei says is in your best interest as well?"
"Probably, yes."
I watched the lot of them, weighing what I had to gain here. "So, are you all going to keep me in suspense or am I supposed to somehow understand what's going on?"
Matsuo parked himself next to me and crossed his arms, huffing in false exasperation. "These two are trying to bribe you."
"Is that right?"
"Mhm, don't fall for it though. You're the new shiny toy, Usagi-chan. When everyone starts sucking up to you, remember I was your best friend first, okay?"
"Hey!" Rei laughed. "You cheat!"
Beside me, my friend smirked and threw an arm around my shoulders, earlier grievances apparently forgotten. "Oh, I'm not taking part in this competition. See, I already know this chick's got my back, and do you know why?"
I grinned up at him, relieved to see genuine warmth in those brown eyes, and responded, "Because we're Sailor Moon and Moon Boy, the most fabulous duo to ever grace the galaxy?"
"Let it die, Usagi."
I blinked up at him innocently, grin widening, and Matsuo slumped, knowing hell would freeze over before I would ever let such comedic gold go. I turned my attention to Rei, who sported an entertained expression as she watched us, and while Jadeite mouthed the word Moon Boy I added, "So then, this talk of bribery. Is there anything I should know here and now, before this accursed gathering?"
A pause.
Then, strangely hesitant, Rei brushed her hair over her shoulder and began rubbing at the back of her neck. "Actually, there's something I wanted to tell you, before the meeting. It's… it's about your family."
My smile ebbed away, and Jadeite cleared his throat, attempting to steer away from the topic. "Perhaps that-"
But Rei was having none of it. "She deserves to know. If it was my family, I'd want someone to tell me."
The General gave a resigned sigh, likely knowing a lost cause when he saw one. "Minako wanted to get through this meeting first."
"You don't mess with a girl's family, Jadeite." Rei snapped. She looked back to me, taking in my now flat expression, and released a nervous laugh. "It's not exactly bad, Usagi."
I swallowed, and didn't even try to sound genial. "Is Ikuko okay?"
My voice was steel, but I couldn't really help it, couldn't bring myself to care when Jadeite cringed and Matsuo tightened his arm around my shoulders. Matsuo… he would have known, and yet he hadn't told me, hadn't mentioned a word. What did that mean? He would have said something if it had been terrible… right?
Or maybe not.
Maybe not, because as far as he understood, as far as he knew the Tsukino Residence was toxic and it drained me, a place where I constantly had to pretend to be someone else, a place where I couldn't seem to breathe easy. That was all true, but not for the reasons he might think; the Tsukino family was a kind one, it was just that I had killed their thirteen year old daughter, had taken her place, and that knowledge haunted me most in their presence. With that in mind, maybe he'd thought it was too sensitive a subject, or that I was better off not knowing.
Perhaps I was.
"She's fine, they're all fine." Rei assured me, then paused. Her gaze flashed over to Matsuo and then back to me in a movement so quick I nearly missed it. "It's just… Well, you see, they think you're away on vacation, visiting sick relatives. In fact, the school thinks so as well."
To her credit, Rei did not flinch away from the hard stare I sent her. "That's funny. I don't recall leaving them with such an impression."
She gave an awkward laugh. "Yeah, that's because when Usa-chan arrived and no one could find you, she may have… hypnotized them into thinking that."
"What."
Neither Rei nor Jadeite seemed to have anything to say to that. As they glanced at each other, clearly unwilling to be the one confronting me with such news, I looked up into Matsuo's eyes, demand clear in my gaze. He didn't even pause or hesitate. "Ikuko told the school you were away. Usa-chan did it of her own accord, but I won't pretend I didn't agree that it was the best option we had then, or the only option for that matter."
I processed this information.
It explained a lot, after some deliberation. That was why the police hadn't been keeping an eye out for me, why I'd been mostly free from pursuit during my travels; no one had even known to look for me in the first place. Not because I meant nothing, but because they knew no better. Did I thank Serenity's child, or threaten her away from the Tsukino residence and instill the fear of god into her for having the nerve to take such liberties? Ikuko was a kind woman, and I didn't like her getting involved with any of this; the Tsukino family deserved some peace, some normalcy, and they wouldn't get that if Rini was around.
I concluded that something would have to be done about that, and then moved on. "You said I could ask you anything, right Rei?"
"I… yes."
I nodded, more to myself than anything, and decided on my next line of questioning. "Would you mind telling me about what you remember from your past life, now that you have the memories?"
How in depth were her memories? If I was going to build myself a fake past, I needed to know what the standard was first. Rei scrunched her brows, but followed through with my request. "Sure, I guess. I'm not really sure where to start though."
I began to tell her anywhere would be fine only to be interrupted as the warehouse door opened and in walked Minako, Kunzite, and Mamoru, each looking disheveled and slightly out of breath. I thought to ask what got them looking that way, but dismissed the idea as the trio locked in on me when a scrutinizing intensity I usually only ever received from Mamoru. I paused, held each stare, and began to wonder whether it was too late to hop on a train when Minako, in an unholy booming voice, shouted, "MEETING TIME, PEOPLE."
I may have jumped.
Her method worked well enough though, because soon that office door was opening and Ami and Naru showed themselves. The sound of metal clanging caught my attention and I glanced across the warehouse to see Makoto hopping down the industrial staircase, skipping every other step. Behind her Zoisite and Nephrite followed at a more sedate pace, the two quietly speaking about something. Nephrite's steps were oddly exaggerated in a way that made him bounce, and I didn't understand why until I spotted the grinning face and splash of pink hair just over his shoulder.
My mind was assaulted by the unsettling image of a doting older brother with Nephrite's irritating face and I had the sudden urge to wipe that grin off his face.
I guess I was still a bit sensitive about our first interaction.
Matsuo used the arm around my shoulder to guide us toward the table, giving a sheepish grin at my startled features. "You get used to the noise, eventually."
"Good grief, where does that volume come from?"
He laughed. "Minako-chan is ninety percent righteous passion, and ten percent girl."
I said nothing to that, smothering my disappointment at being interrupted just when things were turning in my favor. I'd just have to make do with what information I'd gotten. It was a good start, I supposedly, though how it would all be of help to me in the next hour or so I wasn't entirely sure.
I'd figure it out.
I would make it work, for Serenity and for myself.
It seemed we were in the beginnings of a routine here.
I sat at one end of the table, Matsuo to my left, Mamoru to my right, and Minako took her place at the other end. There were no longer clear lines between the Sailor Scouts and the Generals, now they were truly one people, the Order of Elysion. To Minako's left sat Kunzite, and to her right Ami; the only General near Mamoru was Jadeite, though that might be a matter of limited seating. Observing Jadeite as he glanced at his Prince, partially hidden adoration in his gaze, something seemed to click.
Finally, it made sense, a breathless whisper of Oh, of course.
I could have laughed.
Obvious, it was so unbelievably obvious that I was slightly embarrassed for having not seen it until now. My musings led me to glance back to the blond General, understanding washing over me like a cool breeze on a blistering day. Of course Jadeite's lie wasn't something he had done for me, to repay me for having saved him from a terrible existence. No, because in the end, it was never about Jadeite or me; from the very beginning, I had only succeeded in receiving the first General's silence that day by mentioning how exposing who he thought I was would affect a certain person.
Jadeite was doing this for Mamoru.
The details were vague or nonexistent; I didn't know the how's or why's, only that, in some way, this lie of his was to protect Mamoru. It was the only reason I could think of to explain why he would lie to his Prince, to the other four Generals, and to all of the Order of Elysion. Upon receiving the memories of their past lives everyone would have known there was something not quite right about my supposed past; Jadeite had given me a warning and an out for the sake of Mamoru.
My gaze flickered over to him, and in that moment I couldn't help but envy Mamoru, envy what he had; such deep and pure unwavering loyalty, the kind people wrote tales and poems of. Did he even know what it was that he had?
Something in me ached at the thought.
I wanted-
Minako cleared her throat. "Before we proceed, Usagi, I understand you have some… questions. However, before we get to that I was hoping to give you a run own of what it is we do and our purpose first. Does that sound agreeable to you?"
I motioned to her. "Be my guest."
Next to Minako, I noticed Ami's head was bent over a large notebook in which she scribbled something down as Minako began. "From what we have learned, the Order of Elysion is the… foundation, if you will, of the future society of the Crystal Empire. At this point it time our goals are simple: restore the Moon Princess, maintain order in the supernatural world, and provide security not only for the normal civilians, but for those with paranormal abilities as well. Currently we operate mostly in Tokyo, but I hope to change that going forward."
As Minako paused to take a breath, I jumped in. "Mostly, meaning the Order has done work outside of Tokyo?"
Kunzite gave an elegant shrug. "There have been one or two cases of interest that we were unable to dismiss. So yes, we have investigated outside of Tokyo once or twice."
I filed that information away as Minako continued. "According to what we know, in the near future you will reunite us with Princess Serenity, and hopefully with the final member in place we will finally be able to begin our true work."
"Your true work?" I echoed. "Which would be?"
"Building a better future." Minako's tone took on a quality of that righteous passion Matsuo had mentioned minutes before. "Widening our influence and going public, giving those with abilities, those belonging to the supernatural aspect of this world, a voice, a guarantee of safety from persecution. However, in order for any of this to become a possibility, the Order of Elysion needs one more thing; it needs you, Usagi."
My breath caught in my throat. "Pardon?"
A grim smile cut across Minako's face. "We need you to be a part of the Order, Usagi, and I don't just mean for a short period of time. From what I understand, Sailor Moon was an active part of the Order, working together with Princess Serenity and the other members to create this future. It's the type of work that takes years and years to accomplish, something you would theoretically need to commit yourself to."
There was a pause at the table as I waited for her to retract her statement, to laugh it off, only Minako never did. She met my eyes straight on and her stare never wavered, not once.
She was mad, out of her god damn mind. Join them? And- the words sunk in further, reminding me of something Matsuo had mentioned last night. I stilled, recounting the things they'd said, their actions; it was crazy to even think of the possibility, though it'd been there the whole time, staring me in the face, but… "You make it sound like… like you guys are trying to form some type of- of political party or government. I mean, being in a cult is one thing, fighting evil and whatever, but this…"
No one denied it, and I nearly choked on my astonishment.
This wasn't some kind of Power Rangers dream team being built here; these people were trying to form a political party and actually conquer the world. They were insane, and something in me seemed to break. "I can't- this isn't the damn revolution! Why the hell- no, wait, more importantly, who would agree to this? The world is fine the way it is, what do you people expect to gain here, what do you expect me to do? Write up a Constitution or some kind of Declaration of Independence for supernatural Japan?"
Minako's eyes brightened; before she could get a word out, I jabbed a finger in her direction and snapped, "No."
"We need you." Ami's voice broke through the quiet, to my surprise. Her eyes held that same seriousness, though no anger as I might have expected to see. "Perhaps it is not ideal, but… so far, everything has happened exactly as we were told it would. Sailor Moon is supposed to be part of the Order of Elysion; along with a few others, she's supposed to help advise the Princess and provide training for her eventual reign. From your reaction last night, I'd say you hold some affection for our Moon Princess."
"Is that so?" I assessed her openly, not bothering with pretenses. Ami was always difficult to predict; as I last recalled, she felt rather strongly about what I had done to them, and by strongly I meant violently. I had figured she would be opposed to this, and yet here Ami was, acting the complete opposite. Something had changed in her since our last actual interaction. My mind wandered back to Beryl's throne room, conceding that the experience had not been a kind one. "Then tell me, Ami: why do you think my advice would be so critical to your Princess?"
Ami didn't bat an eye at the challenge in my tone. "If the Future reputation of Sailor Moon is to be believed, then you will be a vital part in assuring that the Order of Elysion and the Moon Princess remain standing to continue our work. We're going to make a lot of enemies and anger a lot of people with what we're attempting to do here; that fact is indisputable, not matter how you look at it."
I didn't even try to tamper down my disbelief. "Setting that reputation aside, does anyone honestly believe, do you truly think there's anything I myself could do about that, that the rest of you couldn't?"
I swept my gaze across the table, noting the inquisitive or uncomfortable looks. There was something… weighed, here; something different about this topic that left me with the feeling that I was missing some dear information. No one else appeared to have an answer, or perhaps they were unwilling to put one forth. In the end, it hardly mattered because after a moment Ami answered me.
"Before our group even had a name, you swept our feet out from under us, seven to one." There was no malice, no resentment or scorn as she spoke, only the bare truth. Ami was looking at the facts without bias, putting aside any misgivings for the sake of the Order. It was, in my opinion, part of what truly made her so lethal. "Before that, you took down a General and a Youma that the Sailor Scouts struggled to hold our own against, and you did it in a matter of moments. When the Dark Kingdom took you hostage, Usagi, and we set out to rescue you, none of us knew what we would find once we got there."
She laughed then, a single, genuine sound that stunned me. "I expected torture, to find you in shackles and broken, or maybe even dead. By the time Rei-chan found you though, it was the complete opposite; you'd bested the last two Generals and had been on your merry way out of there, having already saved yourself without our help. So to answer your question, yes, I truly believe you have something to bring to the table. What that is exactly, I couldn't say, only that it's certainly something the rest of us do not currently possess."
That shut me up.
Until I inevitably die a tragic death, I wanted to scream the words, throw them in her face, but there was no point because none of them would ever understand. A thousand years from now, everyone here was going to be alive, everyone except for me; all these self-sacrificing nuts were going to get the chance to live long, full lives, so how could they possibly understand the way I felt? There was only one kind of death awaiting me, the only kind ever afford to those with legacies, those who became legends. My death would come in the heat of battle, probably forced to fight because as always the choice wasn't mine.
My death was going to be brutal, painful, and worst of all, as Sailor Moon.
The one person here that wanted nothing to do with this twisted revolution, this creation of a perfect world, and it was me that would somehow end up paying with my life for it.
What utter bullshit.
"You people never learn, do you?" Why was it so god damn hard to understand that I was a coward, and that I didn't care about the rest of the world? A thought had been lingering in the back of my mind for some time now, and faced with this proposition, that thought bloomed into what was the most likely truth here. The Destroyer was a fake, something Serenity had come up with to tell her daughter about Sailor Moon.
Nothing more than rose tinted lies for the sake of my apparent memory.
It had to be, because what else could she have told her child about the infamous Sailor Moon that would have been even close to the truth? What child wanted to grow up knowing her namesake was a coward, a selfish girl that stepped over others for her own survival, that had such poor ethics and so little care for the world around her that despite knowing the pain she had caused, she would do it all over again if given the chance? Because I would; without a doubt, I'd make the same choices if only for the security in knowing that I would survive, that Matsuo would survive.
Matsuo was alive, I hadn't come out too badly and now Serenity might get a body.
I didn't give a damn about anything else.
"That was a nice speech, but that isn't the kind of logic that could ever convince me to join up." My head tilted at I surveyed the lot of them. "I don't make decisions without first having all the information; it's how I've kept myself alive and relatively safe so far. If you're going to sway me then you'll have to be more detailed about what it is I'd be going up against here."
"Oh," Luna interrupted rudely, leaping onto the table. "I think we've given you enough information for the moment. There are other matters that need discussing, likely more than can be covered in a single meeting. However, now that you're here, Tsukino-san, I would be very interested to hear an explanation from you."
I raised a brow. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."
I ignored the chill that went up my spine as she stalked toward me, feline gaze locked on my form. Such a little thing, and yet somehow as Luna stared me down I sincerely began to feel like prey; little more than a mouse between her claws. Despite being a cat, her expression conveyed smugness as Luna responded, "Specifically? For starters, your whereabouts during the Silver Millennium; after that, an answer as to your uncanny resemblance to the Moon Princess and, finally, the reason why, despite knowing that you were out there, neither myself nor anyone else here can ever recall even hearing of Sailor Moon in the past."
I could feel my lip curling in reaction to the hostile tension that began to permeate the air around us. "Forgive me, I didn't realize I had to explain myself to any of you."
The sharp edge in Luna's gaze said that I well and truly did.
There would be no avoiding this, no changing the subject least I make myself look guilty or like I had something to hide. I racked my brain, recalling the few words Jadeite had said about having been vague on details; I would have to do the same, would have to allow their minds to fill in the blanks. I steeled myself, knowing that I would have to put on the performance of a lifetime to ensure no one, not even Matsuo, would see through me. Then I did what I did best.
Cautiously lied through my teeth.
"No one remembers Sailor Moon from their past lives because that was the way Queen Serenity wished it to be; to the extent of your and anyone else's knowledge, such a person never existed." Maybe it was a mistake to run on Jadeite's lie, but I had little other ideas to work with at the moment. I brought forth the feelings of bitterness for my life here, letting it color my voice. "Sailor Moon was handpicked by the Queen for a very special task, and in the end only a handful of people ever knew of her existence, Princess Serenity later becoming one of those people. Sailor Moon was a… failsafe, her function was best served from the shadows."
Old feelings dredged up, my experience that first horrific day and the terrifying moments afterward bleeding into my expression and tone as I continued. "My awakening was not like everyone else's, it… ruined me, in ways none of you can understand. My memories of before and then of the early years of this life, they mixed and twisted, and now I am neither my past life nor the girl that grew up here."
Naru picked her head up at that sentence, finally watching me.
I was treading on thin ice here, a truth in the midst of lies. "When the Queen used the Silver Crystal… I'm not supposed to be here. Every single one of you, your reincarnation was fate and it was meant to happen by her will; mine wasn't. Something went wrong, don't ask me what because I honestly don't know. All I can confirm is that I died, and I should have stayed dead."
No one said anything for a moment.
"…This function," Mamoru murmured quietly, intense blue gaze on my own. "What was it?"
I stared at him. "What other use is there for a doppelgänger of the Crown Princess that no one knows to exist?"
That shut him up; in fact it shut all of them up as they contemplated the possibilities with growing horror. I waited for Luna to bare her teeth at me, to rip me a new one after slandering Queen Serenity's name, for if the woman was anything it was kind and just. Only, strangely enough, Luna didn't; a look I couldn't place came over her and the cat turned away from me, padding back to the other end of the table.
For now, no one was calling me out on the lie.
That didn't mean they all believed me one hundred percent, but no one was voicing suspicion and frankly, that was good enough for me. I'd visit Serenity later and surely between the two of us we would come up with something solid.
"That was a conveniently unclear answer, Tsukino-san." Luna said, though this time there wasn't much fire behind her words, as though she was saying it simply because the words needed to be spoken by someone.
"I don't owe you an explanation." I hissed. "I owe you people nothing. I paid my dues, and anyone that thinks otherwise can go right to hell."
I thought that would be the end of it when, upon reaching the other end of the table, Luna sat and said resignedly, "Very well. What of the Moon Princess, then? And the Silver Crystal?"
I paused, muscles locking up.
"Oh, yes," Luna murmured knowingly, "We're all aware that the Silver Crystal is in your possession, and has been for some time now."
Artemis leapt onto the table, the two cats becoming pillars on either side of Minako. His stare, while not harsh, was gently disapproving. "The Silver Crystal is property of the Royal family and belongs in the hands of the princess. If she is indisposed or unable to safe keep it, then it is supposed to be guarded by the Sailor Scouts; those are the laws of the Moon Kingdom, Tsukino-san, laws that we are all bound to abide by. At some point, you will have to hand it over so that we may secure it."
The expression on Luna's face stated her thoughts so clearly that they needn't be spoken aloud. Luna was of the opinion that the Silver Crystal was already in the hands of the last person she'd want it in. All civility fled from me at the thought, and I forced my features into something carefully blank, shoving back panic and my urge to bolt or maim. I couldn't freak out, couldn't give them reason to think I would resist so violently at this point in time, not when I didn't know if I could take the lot of them if need be.
It didn't have to come to that though, not yet.
Not if I played my advantage. "Serenity is safe, for the time being. I've managed to make contact with her a few times, but it is no easy task and neither of us have the proper means to maintain anything long term."
That seemed to distract a few of them.
"You've made contact?" Makoto braced her palms against the table. "What does the Princess have to say? Is she well?"
I made to reply but Rei was already speaking, shooting questions at me with alarming intensity. "How did you do it? Is there any way we can speak with her, can you make contact now?"
"No- look, that's not how it works." I stifled a sigh. "It isn't something I can do on the fly, okay? Serenity… she's okay, for now, but her energy is drained, and that complicates things. I've been working on bringing her back, but I'll need the Silver Crystal. Serenity thinks it could be vital to her return so you understand I won't be handing it over willy nilly just yet."
Minako narrowed her gaze. "How did you do it, though; how did you find her and manage to speak with the Princess? If I recall, you said she was out of our reach, so just where is she?"
"That's none of your concern." At her irked look, I added firmly, "The Princess came to me, alright? It wasn't you, or Luna, or anyone else, but me. I won't endanger her by freely handing over everything I know. Should Serenity give her consent, I'll share my knowledge, but not before then, and not until it's somewhat safe to do so."
A bold faced lie, but they didn't know that.
I couldn't risk it though, couldn't risk one of these idiots trying to get Serenity out of the Silver Crystal only to somehow do her harm or make it more difficult. Plus, I wasn't willing to hand it over anyway, and I didn't see why I should spit out my astral projection theory, especially without hard evidence backing it. I could read the outrage forming on a few faces in the room, could taste the building argument between us, but I held firm, refusing to back down.
The backlash I expected did not come though, and somehow that worried me most.
No, instead Minako's expression cleared, and before anyone could decide to take a bite out of me, she nodded, "Okay."
The other Scouts turned to her in indignant disbelief, while the rest of us just watched Minako in what could only be labeled as collective shock. That is, everyone with the exclusion of Kunzite, who somehow managed to look regal in the mundane act of just sitting there. He was lounging back against the chair, Cheek resting against a closed fist and an elbow propped on the armrest, looking for all the world a prince shirking his duties. Kunzite watched Minako with a spark of amusement in his lidded gaze, and a hint of anticipation that told me he didn't know what she was up to either. That was… striking, the knowledge that no one else seemed to have any idea what Minako was doing.
Minako raised her hand to stop anyone from speaking.
"This is not the time to bicker and debate." She swept her gaze over each person at the table, coming to a stop on me. "I can understand why you might be hesitant to reveal any information, Usagi. Trust is not easy coming, and it isn't a given right but a privilege afforded to those that have earned it. I won't lie, I do plan on gaining your trust, and eventually, hopefully, your comradery as well."
Minako paused, addressing the others now. "Usagi isn't like us, and if this is going to work then we can't expect the same things out of her as we had with one another. Before the Order of Elysion, we were two separate groups, and in the Silver Millennium we belonged to two separate kingdoms. Even at the very beginning, we all had someone to fight with and fall back on, reliable relationships built over time. Usagi, however, has never had that."
Gee, thanks.
"She has been working on her own the entire time." Minako continued, rubbing salt into the wound. "First in the Silver Millennium, and then again here. Usagi was the first to regain her memories, the first to truly understand the danger around us, and she has been working to deal with it on her own. I think, given her circumstances, it would be unfair of any of us to push her for vital information without any pre-established trust. After all, in her position would we all not act the same?"
As the Order of Elysion considered that, I couldn't help but comment, "That's a generous outlook."
Across the table, she shrugged in answer. Still, something about her words didn't sit well with me; it wasn't in an insidious or deceptive way, just… I don't know. It was like getting undeserved praise from a rival or enemy, I didn't understand the thought process behind her words, and it unnerved me. Surely there was some underneath I wasn't seeing, some double-edged sword I had failed to spot. In fact, this entire talk was unnerving, and I wasn't sure I could take much more.
Perhaps it was time to wrap things up then.
I turned to Rini –sat comfortably in Nephrite's lap- intent on getting this meeting over with so that I could leave and focus on more important things, like keeping my sanity. Rini was the main factor here, the issue needing to be resolved if I was ever to move on from this madness. Either she had ulterior motives, she was being manipulated by someone else, or she was just a kid with poor ideas and little thought as to the things she said and their impact.
I moved to speak, and of course that was the moment my day became even worse.
There was a bright flash of light above us and a folded piece of paper appeared out of thin air; as though drawn in by magnetic forces, it fluttered down onto the table not six inches from me. The warehouse was dead silent, and not a single person moved as we collectively stared at the folded paper, yellowed with age. I don't know what compelled me to do it, probably the fact that the paper was obviously meant for me, but somehow I found myself slowly reaching out, and taking it.
I examined the cream color, the texture of the paper –thick and reminiscent of a book you might find in ye olden times, not the smooth, crisp pages from books these days- and, upon turning it over, noted the printed number at the bottom. Unfolding it once revealed a torn, jagged side, and after a second I realized the paper was actually a page from a book, and that it'd been ripped out. One more fold revealed the paper entirely, its printed words and the hand written message under it.
My heart stopped; they were both in English, the first part a poem.
A poem I knew well, from a time far passed.
You are,
I think,
An evening star,
The fairest of all stars. -Sappho
Below that, in golden, elegant script, someone had written out,
Arrogance clouds the mind and far too often it appears that the right questions remain woefully unasked. Do try to use that brilliant brain of yours every now and then, won't you?
I stared, reading and rereading the text, then the handwritten note below, as though if I read it enough times the paper would perhaps begin to make even a miniscule amount of sense. However, it remained nonsense each time, registering in my mind but not connecting. Even the mental alarm bells seemed stupefied, a dull echo that felt unimportant in the face of the note itself.
What fresh hell?
Matsuo leaned over in his seat to read the note after a good minute, and thoughtlessly I tilted it his way, giving him better view of the words. Perhaps I should have hidden it, but the damn thing had popped out of thin air in front of everyone. He furrowed his brows and, after a moment, sheepishly admitted, "English isn't my strong suit. Mamoru and Minako are more adept at the language though; maybe they can translate it."
I gave him a long, insulted look, and read the words in their entirety aloud.
English had been one of my better subjects at the middle school; you' think he would have remembered that. Minako got up from the table and came over to stand between me and Mamoru as I laid the paper out and allowed them to read. Her gaze rove over the page, assessing, before falling onto me with a gleam that did not sit well. "Say, do languages interest you?"
It was an odd question. I looked at the note, considering. "I suppose they do, a little bit."
"What about Latin?" Minako asked, far too casually. My eyes jumped back to her, and I couldn't help the way my body seemed to still. Latin, why would she ask me that? I did happen to know a decent amount of the dead language, having taken the class as one of my electives in college.
A coincidence?
Was anything in my life ever so?
"…Yes." I conceded quietly, warily. "I do know a small amount of Latin. I'm rather curious to hear how, exactly, you would know that though."
No one should have known, not even Matsuo or Serenity, because I had never told a soul. It hadn't ever felt relevant or worth mentioning, just another part of a life I no longer lived. Minako hummed, sharing a look with Ami and then the rest before turning back to me. The words flowed through her lips expertly, as though she'd known them her whole life, "Hinc itur ad astra; can you tell me what that means?"
Hinc itur ad astra, I thought, racking my brain to recall a language I hadn't studied in nearly a year. It took me a minute to weave the proper translation together, but when I was sure I had it, I replied, "From here the way leads to the stars?"
"The adage of the Order of Elysion." Matsuo supplied helpfully. I turned my attention to him, wondering why on earth any of this mattered. He seemed to read my thoughts, because Matsuo gestured toward Rini, saying, "One of the many things we learned from Usa-chan. You just tied the loose end up nicely, is all."
Ah. I had just given them further proof that Rini spoke the truth.
Lovely.
However, as I reread the handwritten note one more time before folding the paper back up and tucking it into my coat pocket, that answer didn't sate me. No, looking up at that glint in Minako's gaze, I knew that the girl had something else up her sleeve; something she might not have shared with Matsuo or the rest of them. After all, there was a good reason why, out of everyone here, I considered her to be the most dangerous. A million questions regarding her, that phrase, and the note bombarded me, but one look at the Order told me they were just as clueless as I was.
Right questions, it said; meaning whoever had written it was telling me I wasn't asking the correct questions?
Which question was the right one though, and moreover, who sent it?
Too vague, it was too vague. I smothered my annoyance and cast the thought away; I wasn't about to put stock into a creepy little anonymous note. "I think I'd like to leave off here. It's been a long few days and apparently there's quite a lot to consider. Until tomorrow?"
"That works." Minako hummed. With a stretch, she announced the meeting adjourned and moved to the first office, sparing one last glance at the note in my pocket as Mamoru and Kunzite rose to join her. Seats were abandoned or exchanged as a few of the others began to talk amongst themselves. I stood and was readying myself to leave when my gaze collided with Naru's. I paused in my movements and, after a moment of contemplation, figured this was a conversation long overdue.
Resigned to another confrontation, I gestured to the second office and, addressing her for the first time in eleven weeks, said the dreaded words, "Let's talk."
A/N
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