A/N
Two chapters guys.
I posted two chapters in the span of an hour, so make sure you all read Chapter 19 first otherwise this is going to be absolutely no sense whatsoever.
On a side note, I don't know why but sometimes my computer insists that a word I write isn't actually a word, and then I'm forced to go on a damn quest across the internet to make sure it is actually a word, which is irritating. Withstand is, apparently, not a word in my snobbish computer's opinion.
Disclaimer: We all know Sailor Moon isn't mine. RotM is though.
With stiff shoulders Naru led me into the same office she had occupied earlier.
I brushed off the heated stares drilling into my back and followed her in, shutting the door behind me and leaning back into it. I took a moment to study Naru and the office, recalling what Matsuo said about the work she and Ami did. To be fair, the room definitely looked like it belonged to Ami, with bookcases filled to the brim taking the entire back wall. Under the window that viewed out into the warehouse was a long table with a printer or some kind of fax machine. Two desks adorned opposite walls of the room, one with tidy stacks of paper, notes books, and binders, and the other a bit more chaotic, though not to the degree of Rei's work area.
No, this one was more… personalized.
There were a couple of papers pinned to the wall above the desk, with printed lettering too small to make out from here. The desk itself was strewn with a thin layer of papers, one or two crumpled up, and buried under two thick books and an open file. There was a little potted cactus decorating the far corner of the wooden desk and the waste bin next to it was overflowing with even more balled up paper. This was the workstation Naru floated over to, quickly closing the file and tucking it into the top drawer (though not before I caught what I thought was a small picture of two people).
In the silence she began to organize the tiny chaos of her desk.
I allowed her a moment, gathering my thoughts and counting to twenty before I could take the silence no longer. I cleared my throat. "Looks like you've really made a niche for yourself here, huh?"
Naru paused in her movements, and though she didn't turn to me I knew she was listening as I continued, "Part of me is surprised, and yet at the same time I can't help but feel it isn't all that much of a shock, really. I mean, you were always good at fitting in, and making friends; why would this be any different?"
Naru sat down into her chair and turned to face me.
"Well," She began softly, sweetly, "Most of us had a lot to bond over. You know, what with being on the blunt end of your plots. Lies, betrayal, it really managed to bring us closer together."
A rueful smile graced my features, but I made no move to deny it or defend myself. Naru wasn't wrong, and I wasn't going to pretend I had any right to indignation over her words. Every decision of mine that had hurt her, hurt them, had been carefully considered and made with the knowledge of what the consequences would be; I had done cruel things in the name of survival and I would not shy away from that fact.
"…How could you?" Naru's gaze was penetrating, demanding. With curled fists, white knuckles, and a clenched jaw, she plowed forward unwaveringly. "How could you use me like that? How dare you, what right did you have to do that, to comfort me during my weakest moments, let me cry on your shoulder, and then turn around and use me like a tool when it suited you?"
"I-"
"What is wrong with you?" She spat, standing so harshly from her chair that it hit the wall behind her as Naru stalked towards me. "You were supposed to be my friend, my best friend, we grew up together! I thought I knew you, but I don't recognize this person anymore, this Usagi that keeps secrets and steps over everyone else so long as she comes out on top!"
Naru was shouting now, and my body just couldn't seem to move as she stopped before me and yanked me forward by the front of my shirt, snarling face mere inches from my own. It was then that I saw the tears prickling the corner of her eyes.
"Why did you do it, huh? Why did you bother healing me in the hospital if you were just going to stomp all over our friendship afterwards?" Her hands shook, and her voice lowered and broke as she murmured, "Why me? There are over a hundred people still in comas from the youma attacks, still in the hospital; why did you heal me and not them? My mother is one of those people… why am I the only one?"
My vision was oddly blurry as the words tumbled out of me. "Because it was my fault."
Naru stilled, grip slackening as her brows furrowed. "What?"
"It was my fault." I echoed quietly. "I knew what was out there, I knew people were going to get hurt, and I chose not to do anything about it anyway. I cared about surviving this nightmare more than I did about saving anyone else the pain of suffering through it. But… but you shouldn't have gotten hurt, that was never supposed to happen and I couldn't stand-"
The words caught in my throat, and I had to look away from her accusing gaze. "…I know what kind of person I am. You were never supposed to have become so involved in this though. When I healed you I thought that would be the end of it but it wasn't, the Sailor Scouts started snooping around, and they just wouldn't let up; I knew they were going to drag you in, and then it was too late to stop them, not without…. revealing myself."
I had tried to ward them off, had tried to keep Naru out of it but everything had escalated so quickly, the Scouts transferred into our class and were suddenly everywhere. By then it was just easier to let them think Naru was the princess; it kept me off the radar, and there had been no way to tell them otherwise without showing my hand.
What had I done?
Just a kid, Naru was just a kid and that night it could easily had ended up with her having been kidnapped by Kunzite and not me. If she had been taken instead… there would have been no coming back from that, no hoping of one day achieving something that would have made that sacrifice worth it. I could make up for what I had done to Serenity, but… there would have been nothing I could have ever done to atone for my actions if it had been Naru taken, because she would have died there.
Naru released me.
"I hadn't even realized it," I rambled quietly, "that I was healing you. I wasn't able to transform into Sailor Moon yet, so when you woke up… I didn't know it had been because of me, not until the Scouts suggested it. I don't even really understand how I'd accomplished it."
Silence.
Naru didn't ask for an apology and I didn't ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness was for the regretful, and while I did regret Naru's involvement –having hurt and put her in danger- I didn't regret much else. We were both alive because of the decisions I made, bad and good, and so I couldn't say I'd do a thing differently, not when it could have turned out so much worse. So even though I was sorry for causing Naru pain and using a poor situation to my advantage, I would never ask for her forgiveness.
Because I would continue to stand by my actions.
She seemed to see that too.
For a moment neither of us spoke, and I realized there wasn't anything left to say. We each knew where the other stood and there was no going back from the mess I made. Part of me didn't mind that so much; it meant the truth was out in the open between us, and I didn't have to be anyone other than myself anymore. I looked at Naru then, taking in the anger and sadness of her expression and as twisted as it was…
I was relieved.
It was, perhaps, the worst part of all.
I walked out of the office and shut the door behind me, leaving Naru and the confrontation behind. After a stern glance from Rei, I promised Matsuo I'd meet him back at his apartment, and he seemed to understand my need for space at the moment. No one stopped me as I took my leave, and I scuttled away before any of them decided to think better of it.
I needed fresh air, and some quiet.
What is wrong with you?
The words cut sharply though me, echoing over and over again in my head with every step I took. There was no outrunning this, but I kept walking because it wasn't about trying to avoid her words or pretend they didn't sink into me with the ease of a dagger. I walked because I had to, because stopping, staying in place, that would have been akin to death. It would trap me in that dark place I lovingly referred to as my mind, where I would stagnate, stuck under the weight of my own thoughts.
So I kept walking, kept moving forward.
What is wrong with you?
I already knew what was wrong with me. I'd known it for a long, long time and surely I'd come to terms with it. No, I knew I had. I knew what kind of person I was, had acknowledged the implications, consequences, and then went on with my life. Why did Naru's words bother me? They didn't, not really; it wasn't the words that trailed me, but the tone of voice, the expression worn as they were said.
I was selfish. This world had demanded a price for continued survival and I had willingly paid it time after time. If there was a heaven, I would not be getting in and that was fine, that was the least of my worries. I did unkind things with the clarity of what my actions meant and how they would affect other people. What Naru said, it didn't bother me and I wasn't going to lose sleep over it. What I likely would lose sleep over, however, was the raw emotions I'd seen during our talk. Accusation was fine, hate I could live with, betrayal…. It left a bad taste but I'd stomach it all the same.
It was that pure, unadulterated hurt that somehow jarred me.
Of course, I hadn't ever actually been confronted by any of the people I had cast aside before. The Order of Elysion hardly counted. I mean, yeah, I'd wronged them, but those might as well have been love taps in comparison to the more heinous decisions I'd made (leaving countless to rot away in hospitals, stealing a thirteen year old girl's body and erasing that part of her from existence, snatching Serenity's second chance at happiness, Living with the family of the girl I'd sort of killed, putting a middle schooler in severe danger by making her a decoy, etc.).
The point was, though I had caused many direct suffering, none of those people had ever had the chance to hold me accountable. Serenity had pretty much forgiven me the moment we met, and the Tsukino family didn't know their daughter was an imposter.
Naru hadn't deserved it.
I had not deserved to die the way I had, in a tiny dorm room a state away from my family. I hadn't deserved to find myself in this nightmare world, decades away from modern technology and stripped of the only life I had ever known. I had never done anything so horrendous to deserve this fate, to be completely alone in a foreign world with knowledge I could never speak of and people that would never truly understand me. I hadn't deserved any of this, and neither had Naru.
Neither had Naru.
I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have left her to be attacked –and I had, part of me had known that was coming at some point- I shouldn't have let her rot in a hospital bed for months, shouldn't have used her and let her think any of us could be trusted. In truth, I could have protected Naru, I could have saved her such pain a dozen times over had I been inclined.
But I hadn't.
The choices had already been made, and now I had to live with them.
I was in the midst of contemplating how I was going to do that when someone cleared their throat behind me, and a familiar prickling sensation sharpened at the back of my neck. Sort of like it had been there the entire time, and I was only now noticing it. I paused in my steps, slowing to a stop and turned to meet intense blue eyes.
"Bit cold for a walk." Mamoru said conversationally.
I hummed. "I thought it might clear my head."
"Ah," He nodded, features arranged to appear thoughtful, though I got the feeling he was humoring me more than anything. That expression dropped as Mamoru closed the distance between us in a movement that was both graceful and hesitant. He sighed, and I watched his breath as it turned to steam in the winter air, curling up between us. "I wanted to talk, if that's alright. We haven't had the chance yet and… a lot's happened."
I studied the way his brows knitted, lips pressed together as though to keep from frowning, the quiet resignation in those ever intense eyes. "Somewhere warm, then."
And just like that those worried ticks cleared from his face.
It was soothing, oddly enough.
Balm for a scorched soul.
Not much had changed in Mamoru's apartment building in the last eleven plus weeks.
There were a few Christmas decorations up, some twinkly lights from new years, but that was it. He led the way, holding both doors into the building for me and pressing the button for the elevator. Our journey here had been short and in silence; it was a silence that continued as the doors opened up and allowed us entry, closing only when I hit the right floor number.
As we rode up I stared at my reflection in the (overly polished) metal door. Pink nose, chapped lips, and rosy cheeks greeted me. Blonde hair spilled down the back of my coat from the knitted hat I wore (where had I gotten it again? Nagasaki, I thought, but I couldn't be sure.), the golden locks tangled from either wind or that nap I'd taken earlier in the day. Altogether, it was an unflattering look in that it showed just how out of sorts I felt. Something about my eyes was different, something oddly reminiscent of Serenity's own gaze.
An unsettling thought.
I glanced at my companion's reflection and jolted to find him already watching me with an almost curious tilt to his head. Neither of us said anything as the door opened, breaking our gaze. I followed him into the hallway and to his door as he unlocked it and we shuffled inside.
"Tea?" He asked, already heading into the kitchen. I repressed a smile and followed, watching from the archway as Mamoru took out his tea kettle, filled it with water, and set it on the stove like a proper housewife. Then he glanced at me once more, and it was such a heavy look that all amusement died; I turned and wandered away, chest tight. The living room beckoned to me, so I curled up on the couch with my back against the arm, loosely hugging my legs as my cheek pressed into the leather material.
That was how he found me a short while later.
Mamoru paused upon seeing me, an emotion flashing across his face too fast for me to place before it was gone and he was moving again. He set my cup and saucer carefully onto the coffee table and placed himself on the other end of the couch. I watched the steam rise from the teacup, listening as he took a sip of his own tea before setting it down as well. My gaze went to him as Mamoru sighed and leaned forward, elbows resting on his legs.
After running a hand down the side of his face, he turned to me. "I saw Serenity at the Dark Kingdom, during that final battle."
My heart seized. Not Princess Serenity, or the Moon Princess.
Just Serenity.
"You really do remember her, then." I mused.
Deep blue eyes and all their intensity scanned my face, and I stiffened.
The urge to tear my gaze away and flee his apartment came over me then, and I shoved the feeling down. Now that Mamoru remembered, what did he see when he looked at me? I couldn't bring myself to ask the question, unwilling to hear the answer, the implications not only on his side by on mine as well. I reminded myself that it didn't matter what he thought when he looked at this face, didn't matter whether he was really seeing me or not. There were very few things in my life that truly mattered, and this wouldn't be one of them because I just didn't have any room left in my shriveled heart for trivial things.
What does he see? It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I refrained from snorting in self-disgust.
Classic Usagi. As if this had anything to do with me.
It was about Serenity, as it always would and should be; this was her tragic tale, after all, and I could accept this for a million reasons. Serenity was one of those few things that mattered to me and to be fair I did happen to be the person that had snatched this life from her, taken the Tragic Tale of Serenity & Endymion and snapped its redemption in two. Serenity was entitled to whatever spotlight she could get, and Mamoru was entitled to look at me and see her.
It was only fair.
"…Yes." The word sounded almost strained. Mamoru looked down, his lips turned up into a small smile though it looked more pained than anything. "I remember all of it, to such an overwhelming degree that sometimes I wish I didn't. I- you know, Matsuo said something to us, a month or so back. We'd all been struggling with our memories, still are. I think that why Minako is so driven by the Order, why she's so hell bent on it. All the people that died in that war, the homes we lost, the future; the blood."
His gaze found me then and the complete loss within struck me like a physical blow. I uncurled and leaned forward, wanting to ease that hurting but not knowing how or whether I had any right to. He had to be in such pain, and I couldn't fathom what it must be like, to bear the weight that he now bore with the return of his memories. That war hadn't been Mamoru's fault, but the uprising had begun with his people, his kingdom. As Endymion he had been the Crown Prince, and when his subjects were manipulated and turned against the Moon Kingdom, Mamoru had been there, fighting tooth and nail against the people of earth to protect another civilization.
And he had given his life for that cause.
What was that like, to cut down your kin, your guards and banner men? To stain your hands with the blood of those you'd had a responsibility to protect? There were no words I could offer that would ever suffice. Mamoru appeared to be waiting though, waiting for me to say something, anything, so without thinking I spoke. "It gets better Mamoru, I swear it gets better. What you feel now- it's the weight of a new burden, the weight of a new loss. It doesn't go away, but… you learn to adjust and that's all this is; an adjustment period. This is the hard part, but eventually it will get easier."
Mamoru tilted his head, lips parting slightly as he took me in contemplatively.
"I understand," He began quietly. "why you were- are the way you are, why you acted the way you did. When the Order hit a low point, when we were all still unsure how to even begin coping with this change, Matsuo told us what you'd said to him once. How firmly you believed that none of us should have these memories, that they and the past would be better off forgotten."
"It was for my sake more than anything." Sure, I'd given it a little thought as to how it might impact him, whether it would be a blessing to keep Mamoru in the dark, but mostly it had been for myself.
That intensity strengthened as Mamoru straightened and turned to me fully, one leg hanging off the couch now. My breath caught in my throat at that look, at the gentleness with which he spoke his next words. "You did a good job, Usagi. I mean it, and I want you to know that because I doubt anyone has ever told you, including yourself. The Order of Elysion, we're doing great things and making a difference in the world. You, however, managed to do that all by yourself, and it's incredible.
"I know what it's like to have to work on your own," He murmured, "but I never could have accomplished the things that you did, none of us could have. You faced impossible odds, Usagi, and you succeeded, survived. You did brilliantly."
Under his stare, with those words echoing in my brain, I found myself at a loss, struggling to come up with an adequate reply. They were words that had never occurred to me, but I'd needed to hear them said and now that I had I was grateful. I couldn't seem to spit out or express my thanks to him, so instead I cleared my throat. "So… Serenity?"
Mamoru blinked, as though coming back to himself. His lips turned up in a faint smile, and a small, resigned sigh escaped him, but he allowed the change of subject. "It was during the fight with Metaria, if we can really call it a fight. When you became enveloped in that white light-"
"What white light?" I interrupted. Did he mean moonlight?
"At the start of the battle," He said slowly, now looking as equally bemused as I felt. "This white light came out of nowhere and shielded you for a good ten minutes while the rest of us were fighting. I thought you were doing it on purpose, building for that attack."
What?
My mouth opened, and then closed as I considered it; during that fight, time had seemed… fractured, at moments slow or fast or skipping. I hadn't figured out why, hadn't thought up a reasonable explanation and in my time away I'd been too busy not thinking about that miserable day to ponder on it. "What… what else do you remember?"
He tilted his head. "We were down when the light broke. I remember looking up and seeing you- both of you. Serenity- she'd been crying and the two of you were focused on Metaria, on some kind of attack. Whatever it was, it saved us."
I waited, but Mamoru said nothing further.
There was an awkward openness about the end of his sentence, as if Mamoru had been planning to say more but changed his mind at the last minute. Something was there, something else he wasn't saying; I knew there must be, because why else would he bring up Serenity, bring up that battle, to just stop as though we were at the point he'd been trying to make.
I took a shot in the dark. "What did she say to you?"
His eyes, which had been wandering to the window over my shoulder, shot back to me and he stilled.
Bingo.
They had spoken, using whatever time had remained to Serenity after I had passed out; but that had been weeks ago, so why hadn't Serenity mentioned it to me? Did she not trust me, or had the conversation been private enough that she hadn't been comfortable sharing it with me? I wanted to push Mamoru to tell me, wanted to seek Serenity out myself and get the truth from her, but… there were secrets I kept, things I hid from them, so what right did I have to make such demands?
Even if I was dying to know.
"It's okay." My voice was quiet, and though I gave him a soft smile I couldn't quite manage to meet those eyes, so I focused on my hands. "Serenity… your business together is your own. I mean, I get to hog her to myself most of the time anyway, so it's only fair that you get to have your moments too."
Silence descended between us then.
After a minute, I made myself look to him and stifled a flinch at the sorrow in his gaze. Eleven weeks away- it hadn't been enough time, not when there were now new threats stirring, new problems arising. A new seed of fear took root in my core with the knowledge that a whole different game was at play here. This wasn't something I could hand off to someone else and run far away from, not with Serenity at stake. Yet I wasn't recovered from the last disaster, wasn't ready to take on another one.
The Order of Elysion would bring disaster, make no mistake.
What scared me was that it didn't matter that I'd been away for over two months, because it still hadn't been enough, and maybe the amount of time didn't matter in the end, maybe a month or a year or a decade made no difference.
Maybe there was no fixing the damage.
I never did make it back to Matsuo's apartment that night.
The despair I felt must have been palpable in the air around me, because Mamoru went from silent to a social butterfly, throwing topics my way and using whatever stuck to pull me from that pit and into intelligent conversation. I let him, happy to forget my woes for a little while and talk about anything else. I learned a great deal that night, though most of it was pointless and of little use to me in the long run. I did learn a little about the future, and how Rini came to be here before conversation turned to other things.
We talked about school -Mamoru aced his midterms- and I found out that he was interested in a medical career, and already had a few college interviews and acceptances. We spent a good deal of time on that subject ( "A Prince, Gentleman Thief, Boy Scout, and now a Healer?" I'd teased. "Building up quite the resume, aren't we?"
With the beginnings of a smile he had sent me a look I didn't understand. "In war, being able to heal wounds is just as important as having the skill to inflict them. A person capable of both is someone to be admired, in my opinion."
"How noble of you to say.")
At some point I found myself broaching the subject of Rini, and Mamoru was kind enough to inform me of what he knew- The Black Moon Clan had attacked Crystal Tokyo three times and failed miserably. The fourth time ended in success when, before the attack, the Silver Crystal disappeared and the Queen was unable to fight them off- and then his thoughts on the matter. "As impossible as it seemed, Usa-chan was right every single time; it became hard not to believe her, you know?"
Despite Mamoru's initial disbelief, Rini had more than proved herself, and he was of the opinion that the Order had a responsibility to help the child, if only because she had come to them for aid. I thought it might be more than that. Rini had provided them with the idea for the Order, thereby giving them something to latch onto in the wake of what was no doubt a difficult time for everyone.
Though I don't remember it happening, eventually the two of us must have drifted off, because the next thing I knew, daylight was filtering in through a break in the clouds, signaling morning. To my mortification, I woke to find us in the center of the couch, my head on Mamoru's shoulder. His soft, even breaths stirred a few golden strands with each exhale, cheek barely brushing against the crown of my head.
I stilled.
Carefully and quietly, I separate myself from him and rose off the couch, pausing only once to snatch my coat and shoes before slipping out the front door. The hallway was barren as I put on my things and made my way into the elevator. As the doors closed I reveled in the serene stillness that often accompanied early mornings and the way it seemed to melt into my mood. There was something… different, now; some edge that had been smoothed over, a weight that had lightened. For the first time in a long while, I felt absolutely calm, at peace, and I wasn't sure what to make of that. As the elevator descended, I took that moment to simply savor this rare feeling.
Then, I scurried out of the apartment building and promptly left that feeling behind.
Again I took to wandering the streets, this time determined to make sense of things, though given the fact that Minako wanted to form some kind of government and actually take over the world, it wasn't likely there was any sense to be made of this catastrophe.
That was more than a little frightening.
I wasn't interested in world domination, and I wanted no part in whatever madness the Order of Elysion was bound to get into sooner or later. Fleeing was not an option though, and that left me in this strange in between; I couldn't go back to the Tsukino residence, couldn't stand the thought of going back to school, so where did that leave me?
Bring Serenity back, find her a body. It was all I had left, the only thing keeping me from a listless existence, but what about after that?
I dove into the problems before me, assessing what I originally knew, what I had learned, and what remained a mystery. The Order of Elysion, their intentions seemed straightforward enough, unsavory as they were. Rini… I wasn't too sure about her, but I hadn't had time to get a better feel on the child yet. In the end that meeting had left me with more questions than answers. There was that strange note in my pocket and the ticking time bomb that was Rini's situation. There was no way I was going to go to the future and fight an unknown enemy.
Thanks to Jadeite, I had a good excuse for any odd behavior in the past, present, and the foreseeable future, plus an alibi for the original Silver Millennium. That was literally the only upside to this entire ordeal. Sure, supposedly Serenity could be revived, but no one knew how or when or at what cost. I needed to talk with her about creating a fake past and that Metaria thing, find out what, exactly, had happened; so many things about that day had been off, and it was time to deal with that before burying myself in other issues
Like my death- which I most definitely was not going to think about.
The Order of Elysion… Mamoru had said it was mostly Minako's doing, and Matsuo had mentioned something along the same lines as well. The problem with Minako was that, though I couldn't prove it, I knew she had some type of plot or scheme up her sleeve; that's what this was about, so the only question remaining was the nature of said scheme. If Minako's intentions were ultimately- well, not harmless, because if the girl was anything it certainly wasn't harmless, but if her intentions weren't nefarious, if they weren't harmful to me or Serenity in the long run then what did I care?
I had no problem, and no intention on interfering with their world domination.
My biggest concern, at the end of things, pretty much circled back around to the tiny time traveler. Whether or not she was manipulating the Order, or if she herself was being manipulated; whether she was telling the truth about Serenity, and if I could believe any information I got from her.
I sighed and rubbed harshly at my face, banishing such thoughts. I was just seeking a nice distraction when, from the corner of my eye, a familiar splash of pink caught my attention. My feet had taken me to one of the more rural parts of the district it seemed. Across the street, through one of the many, many entrances to the very park where Mamoru and I had first met, I spotted Rini. It looked as though she was alone, and doing a decent job of wandering as well as she made her way further into the park.
Curiosity had me following her.
The park itself was enormous, larger than I remembered though I had only gone the one time and hadn't returned since then. I thought the section of the park I had seen with Mamoru wasn't too far from here, with the bench and fountain and pond. I tailed Rini, watching as she glanced in certain directions and paused every now and then. It was like she was trying to memorize the park, or was perhaps seeing something else entirely though I couldn't say what. If this park was still around a thousand years in the future, maybe it was different enough to confuse her or something.
Eventually, Rini made it to her destination, which came in the form of another open area with a small playground. There was something… heavy hearted, about the child as she found her way to one of the swings, placed the ball she carried on the ground and sat down, swaying gently. With her head turned downward it was difficult to gauge an expression, so I observed her hands instead. Rini's knuckles were white as she gripped the chains of the swing. For a good while I stayed on the path, leaning against one of the trees and just observing.
There was nothing about her that nagged at my internal alarms though.
She just looked like any other seven year old.
A lonely, and likely frightened little girl, alone in a world she didn't entirely understand.
Another child with far too heavy a burden to bear.
I lasted five more minutes watching the child before I found myself pushing off that tree and walking over. Maybe it was because the tragedy of her situation hit too close to home for comfort, or maybe I was just a fool, but as I plopped into the swing next to her and gazed up at the partially cloudy sky, I became overwhelmed with the insane urge to chase away her sadness.
"You know," I began quietly, gaze thoughtful on the sky above, "I don't think I can call you Usagi, or Usa-chan, it's just too weird for me. I mean, my name is Usagi, so we can't both go around using the same name or it'll get too confusing."
A pause.
Then, hesitantly, a small voice replied, "…What should we do then?"
I sighed heavily, as if the problem had been weighing on my mind, a truly serious affair. "Well, there can only be one dominant Usagi in this city- two would be too much for the world to handle," She let out a surprised giggle, and I sent a grin her way. "So here's what I can do: I get to be Usagi, since I was here first, and I'll call you… Rini. Little Rabbit. Does that sound fair enough to you?"
She nodded, and that sadness in her gaze seemed to grow smaller.
I softened my smile, and in a gentle tone, asked, "Rini, would you mind if I asked a few questions about what happened to your home?"
That fragile hope bloomed across her features once more. "I… yes. I don't mind."
"I'm grateful for the help." I told her, gathering my thoughts. She waited patiently, providing me with her full attention as I began, "To start off, here is what I've been told so far. The Black Moon Clan- that is the enemy you spoke of?"
"Yes." She breathed the word, as though the very thought pained her. "They attacked Crystal Tokyo three times and failed."
"But on the fourth?"
Rini's hands shook, and she shoved them together in her lap, an attempt to hide the evidence. "On the fourth try, they succeeded. My mother- the Queen had defended Crystal Tokyo and defeated them easily the first three times, but on the fourth…"
I eyed the shudder that racked her shoulders.
Gently, I had to do this gently. "What was different, Rini? If the Queen was able to fight them off, what changed?"
"…It disappeared." She choked out after a moment. "The Silver Crystal disappeared. There was nothing- my mother couldn't stop them, not without it. They destroyed everything, everything. Only the palace remained…"
Rini didn't cry, but in fear that she might, I waited a few minutes before posing my next question. "Tell me about your home. What's the palace like? What is Crystal Tokyo like?"
"It's beautiful." She murmured. "The greatest city on Earth; during the day, sunlight pours into the Crystal Palace and there are places where the light turns into a rainbow of color. When the moon is full, the palace shines as bright as a star, and Crystal Tokyo almost glows. The city is… peaceful, and loud in a different way than it is here, more happy I think. This Tokyo is dirty, and the air tastes wrong and the food isn't the same either."
"That's probably pollution you're describing." She gave me a questioning look and I sighed. "Never mind. You know, Crystal Tokyo sounds like a very nice place."
"It is." Rini agreed. "It's clean, and there aren't nearly so many sick people."
"The Queen must have worked really hard for your home." I mused. At her hum, I slid my gaze away, and added, "Do you think she's strong?"
"Yeah." Rini pushed off the ground, swinging a bit. "People call her many things, because she has a reputation like Sailor Moon."
"Oh?" That was interesting. "What sort of reputation?"
"The Queen of Crystal when she's happy, and the Iron Queen when she isn't." The words were almost mechanical in their delivery, as though Rini had heard them a hundred times. She then shrugged, as though the thought of a harsh Serenity wasn't anything to be alarmed about. "Sailor Moon was her advisor, and her friend for a long time."
"Is the Queen… merciful?"
Rini paused, feet dragging against the ground. "…I heard a story once, about a revolt many years ago. There were people who didn't like how Mother did things, and they did not want to live in the Crystal Empire. Most that challenge the Queen, or try to take the throne… they aren't given the chance to do it again. The Black Moon Clan though…"
Serenity showed them mercy? "Is that a bad thing?"
"People were upset." She kicked off the ground again, more gently this time. "They said she was letting the Black Moon Clan off too easy, that she let them run away each time, which is why they kept coming back."
Serenity… she wasn't like me, she was kind and fair, and showing mercy to her enemies sounded more like the princess I knew than this iron ruler business. Then again, I supposed being a ruling monarch could change a person. I was getting my information from a child, too, and there was no telling the accuracy of her words.
Rini glanced at the ground, then back up at me. "…Can I ask a question?"
"Knock yourself out."
She perked up and I nearly fell off my swing as Rini excitedly asked, "So did you really take down your first youma with nothing but your fists?"
What the hell?
"Pardon?" I didn't know how to answer that question, and instead I ended up voicing the singular thought on my mind. "Where did you hear that from?"
For some reason, Rini looked smug as though it had been her that had fought and killed that youma all those months ago and not me. "Well I heard that you wiped the floor with it when the Sailor Scouts couldn't, and that was your first battle too."
I examined the fresh gleam in her gaze. "You know, you sound awfully excited about carnage."
"What does carnage mean?"
My lips pursed. "You know what? Ask your mother next time you see her."
At her dubious expression, I scrambled for a new topic.
"Say… what can you tell me about the Order of Elysion?"
Rini hummed. "The Order of Elysion was founded before Crystal Tokyo. They defended Earth and brought peace, first to Japan and then to the rest of the world. In the 30th century, Crystal Tokyo is filled with people that have powers; the Order had academies and stuff built in the beginning of the Crystal Empire, because so many people with abilities had moved to Tokyo after the Accords."
"The…Accords?"
"Mhm." She said, pausing at my baffled expression and then adding, "Oh, yeah. Well, it's like… like a promise, but on paper and with countries instead of two people."
My god.
Minako was really going to pull it off, wasn't she?
"Okay, so the Order made a deal with another country then, to protect the paranormal citizens of the world. That's grand, Minako will be thrilled. When, exactly, does that happen?"
She blinked, brow wrinkling in concentration.
After a good minute, my stare was overwhelmingly disappointed. "You don't remember, do you?"
Rini bristled. "Hey! History lessons are boring, okay?"
"Even History lessons about Sailor Moon?"
"That's different." She sniffed.
"Is it now?" Was it terrible to goad a child into spilling information?
Ah, well.
"Sailor Moon," Rini began haughtily, "wrote the Act of Independence; she also wrote the Celestial Codex of Constitutional Law, and the Accords, and the Sacred Rights."
I began to have a sinking feeling that someone, somewhere, had spent years feeding this child nonsense –really, celestial what now?- and that someone was probably Serenity. If my tone wavered between dubious and unimpressed as I responded, well, could you really blame me? "Sailor Moon did all of that by herself?"
Whatever that was; children really weren't very clear, were they?
"Well, no…" She flushed, stumbling in her defense. "But she wrote the Codex and the Sacred Rights."
"…Without anyone else's help? At all?"
To my amusement Rini turned red in equal embarrassment and fury. "So a lot of the Order helped, but still! She was the one it write it down, and Sailor Moon had an equal part in creating the Crystal Empire, her work was definitely the best and most important."
I smirked. "Well, then I guess you're welcome."
Her stare was sullen, unbelievably displeased with the reality of her childhood heroine.
I cleared my throat, stomping down the urge to tease her more as it wasn't helpful to the cause. "Back to the matter at hand. The Order of Elysion, where does the Moon Princess come in?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I was wondering if you knew when she would return, how Serenity would come back."
Rini looked at me like I was stupid. "Sailor Moon brings her back. Shouldn't you know how, since you're the one that's going to do it?"
Well, shit.
I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache forming as she confirmed what I had begun to suspect; no one actually had any idea how to revive Serenity, just that it would be done. Since that was the case… well, it was up to me to find a way, wasn't it? How, exactly, I was going to do that I didn't know. It wasn't like there were any books around here explaining how to build a body or revive the dead or anything. Serenity was little more than a soul right now, and her mother had died reincarnating her daughter, so that route was definitely (probably) closed.
I was going over possible options when the stillness struck me, and I froze, head snapping up. The park was deadly silent, deadly still, and the fine hair on the back of my neck stood on end.
Too quiet, Something in me screamed. This place isn't safe.
I leap to my feet and all but dragged Rini out of her swing. "We aren't alone."
And then, as if to prove my words, something cracked behind me.
An unholy screech pierced the air.
Eleven weeks is a long, long time to be out of practice, and there was no denying that I had been a bit worried as to how much my skills might have deteriorated from disuse.
Of course, I needn't have worried.
With that inhuman shriek echoing in my mind, it took me about a second to transform, scoop Rini up and over my shoulder, and subsequently haul ass in the opposite direction. Hell, I was sprinting away before the transformation even finished, without even glancing at whatever horror had sounded behind me as power flooded my system. Another screech rang out, followed by a second –Christ, there were two of them- as the creatures took up the chase.
Rini squirmed in my arms, and I nearly dropped her as she braced an arm against my back, lifting herself up in order to shriek into my ear. "What are you doing? You're Sailor Moon, turn around and crush them!"
"How about no?" The retort was not taken kindly, and I hefted her up, readjusting my grip. The path began to curve, and instead of following it I ran straight into the foliage, hoping to lose whatever the hell hunted us. "I swear to god, if you do not stop moving around I will drop you."
The sound of wood crunching told me our pursuers would not be so easily lost.
"Sailor Moon doesn't run away from a fight!"
I ignored her. "Tell me you have one of those communicator watch things."
Rini paused, and I caught a flash of movement between trees from the corner of my eye, something dark and too fast to be made out. Then my attention was pulled to the kid as she gasped and squirmed. "Luna P, I left my ball in the park. Turn around, we have to go back!"
"I'll buy you another ball."
"Go back!" She struggled, landing a kick to my stomach that knocked the wind out of me. I stumbled, and only through sheer force of will did I manage to regain my footing enough to keep running, albeit more slowly and hunched over. "Luna-P can call the Order, so turn around!"
Damn everything.
I veered a sharp left, away from whatever lurked in the trees, but I didn't turn around completely. We could go back for the damn ball, but then what? How long would it take for reinforcements to arrive? This wasn't like any of the fights I had fought before, not even close; I was outmatched at least two to one, I didn't have the element of surprise, and to top it all off I was lugging around dead weight in the form of a seven year old. I couldn't just leave her and make a run for it, I was selfish and morally ambiguous, but there was a line and I drew it at small children.
Something lunged at us.
Rini screamed as I dove onto the ground and the thing went clear over us, form tumbling to a halt five feet away. The thing spun, and I realized it had no face; no eyes or mouth or any defining features. It had skin, and was shaped like a person, but there was nothing human about it, not a thing. It was too close, blocking the way and preparing to lung again; there was no avoiding physical combat, and I couldn't use the moon scepter, not with a kid in these close quarters where it was likely to hit her or a tree and hinder me rather than help. I needed to find a path, to get anywhere large enough to freely swing it.
I dropped Rini and swept forward, making the first move.
Behind me she yelped upon making contact with the cold, hard ground; I might have felt bad, but then the thing was lunging to meet me and I didn't have time to feel much of anything. I ducked down as it came at me, my shoulder meeting its gut as I heaved upward and flipped the creature. Its head met unforgiving ground with a crack that didn't sound quite right, and as I pivoted on my heel a chill went through me from the feel of its flesh –cold, leathery, wrong.
And that crack, not at all like a skull breaking.
The thing didn't turn to face me as I thought it would; no instead, somehow, without having any visible eyes, it seemed to lock on Rini, its next move obvious. I had a foot hooked around its ankle, yanking back to impede the forward leap the creature took. Rini had the good sense to scramble around a tree and back to my side as the thing twisted and rolled out of my reach. Where its friend had gone I didn't know, but I no longer heard any noises of pursuit, nothing other than the struggle between us. With the way cleared I scooped Rini back up and ran before the creature could hop back onto its feet.
I saw the second one coming between the trees about heartbeat before it slipped into our path. One behind, one in front- I couldn't stop, couldn't let go of Rini with them this close. That was okay though, because that single moment of preparation allowed me just enough time to reel my left fist back and swing it forward into the creature's face without losing pace.
My fist met disgusting, leathery flesh, and an awful crunch sounded as the thing was knocked out of our path. Another screech pierced the air, but this one was pained, and came through clenched teeth; it came from me, because that terrible crunching sound hadn't been from the creature, but from my own damn hand. I don't know what kept the muscles in my legs going forward, or how I didn't pause or slow or even stumble through the blinding pain lacing my hand, but somehow I found myself going faster.
Rini had gone silent and clung to me, for which I was more than a little grateful as I cradled my injury to my chest.
At this point I was more or less running blindly, having lost my sense of direction. A breeze blew through the forest, the chill biting my ears, and then suddenly it was as if my body had decided to work against me. The cold seemed to slam into me as my limbs stiffened, slowing me down; I worked to keep them from locking entirely, desperately urging myself to go. The air turned too thin, too sharp as it coated my lungs. I inhaled deeply, trying to get oxygen that just wasn't enough anymore. The chill was relentless. The metal of my tiara was too cold.
And then things took a turn for the worse as a wall of dark fire licked a path up past my right, blocking the route.
Not thirty feet away there was a break in the trees, and I threw myself forward, willing my body to just go, get into open space where I could make some kind of stand against- what the hell were those things? It didn't matter, the moon scepter would finish what I couldn't, it would heal my hand, I just needed to get there. My back heated and Rini gasped, twisting her face away as fire closed in on us. We broke through the trees, and I found myself somewhere between laughing and crying as I realized where we had ended up.
My feet left grass, onto pavement, and then slamming onto wood as I leapt off a small set of stairs that led onto the pond's fishing dock. Rini, now facing forward, tensed up when I didn't slow as we neared the end of the dock. "What are you doing?!"
"Hold your breath!" It was the only warning she received before my feet pushed off the wooden planks and we went airborne for a briefest of seconds.
And then plunged into icy waters.
So cold, too cold.
My body was heavy, lethargic and I was sinking down down down, being dragged into darkness by the weight above me.
I was going to die here , in this endless freezing water, so frigid that it burned, burned like liquid fire through my skin, into my veins. Something next to me convulsed, and my grip began to slip, and all I could think was not like this.
I didn't want to die like this.
Something… warm, surged at my chest then, and even behind closed lids I could see a shining light. That phantom warmth spiked through me, as though it were angry, furious; there was nothing kind or gentle about the feeling. It was the opposite to this cold, quiet abyss that silently brought me closer to an end I didn't want. Then the strangest thing happened; a voice echoed to me, not anywhere in the water around me but from within. It was familiar, one I knew well and one I hadn't truly heard in my mind for weeks and weeks.
"Get. Up." The Voice commanded, tone somewhere between a threat and a plea. "Do not stop, don't you dare leave me."
I couldn't.
"You made me a promise." That Voice seethed. "Not even God himself."
Silver hair, sky blue eyes. It was Serenity.
Serenity.
Who was going to save Serenity?
"Fight." She snapped.
I fought.
Against every fading instinct, against all odds, we broke through the surface.
Rini curled into me, spitting up water onto my front as I summoned the moon scepter and buried the sharp edge of the crescent moon into the wooden dock to pull us closer. I held Rini to me with the injured hand as she continued to cough and shiver, silently cursing my stupidity. I couldn't heal my hand without waving the scepter, which meant letting go of the dock and supporting Rini's weight with my weakening legs. There was no ladder to climb onto –where was the fucking ladder?- and the wooden planks were far up enough that in my condition, I didn't think I had the strength to lift Rini onto them.
I stretched my feet and found no bottom.
Through our combined breathing, shivering, and chattering teeth, my hearing picked up a clacking noise.
Like heels against wood.
I yanked the scepter, splintering wood and tucked it under my arm as I swam under the dock. The bitter air hurt to inhale, but I did it anyway, taking the deepest breath I could and holding it. I stripped Rini of her coat to lighten the weight and used what little strength I had left to make a break for the shore, or as close as I could get. I didn't even try to be quiet, just paddled desperately for a place where I could stand. Those clacking heels paused as I passed, and I thought I might have heard a chuckle as they turned and stalked our journey back towards the shore.
It hadn't seemed so far before.
"Sly girl." A sultry, female voice cooed. "Jumping into the water to avoid my flames. How long will you last though, in this weather?"
Not long at all.
But it –she, was talking, and those things from before didn't have mouths, probably didn't have vocal chords. Whoever was above us, that was a person; a person able to wield fire, perhaps, but a living being all the same. Those creatures must belong to her, and they hadn't followed us into the water. From the slowly numbing throb of my knuckles, I was willing to bet those rock-hard nightmares would sink to the bottom of the pond if they jumped in. Between them and the pyromaniac, this dock was the best place to make a last stand.
And make no mistake, I wasn't going down without a last stand.
Perhaps there was little I could do against those abominations, but another human being? Oh, people could be taken down easily enough, so long as they bled and breathed as I did. And I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, this was where that nickname originated, The Destroyer; because now that I knew my death was coming, now that the reality of it hung over my head, I had the unquenchable urge to eliminate the threat. An unshakable desire to end my opponents before they had the chance to end me.
"You truly needn't hide in the water, all I want is the Rabbit." A twinkly laugh echoed, followed by the slow clack-clack-clack of heels. "Really, there's no need for violence; I have no quarrel with a stranger such as yourself."
Another minute of swimming had my feet brushing against solid ground.
I might have sobbed at the feeling had her words not struck me.
The Rabbit, She'd said. Rini, this had to be about Rini, and not me because setting aside the fact that Sailor Moon was the least known of the Sailor Scouts, I hadn't made any new enemies in my extensive time away. So this was about the seven year old clinging to me for dear life, this was her safety in the balance, not mine. I might have gone livid at the thought of attacking a child, but the fact was that I was already past such a level of anger, having sunk into a killing calm.
It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.
I had already faced death before, and this was my second chance, the one I had fought tooth and nail for. The Silver Crystal was going to keep everyone else alive for another millennium… everyone except me. Because, apparently, I was going to die in some tragic unknown event, and with the way this world worked, it wasn't going to be something nice. I wasn't going to die from an illness, or in my sleep, or from a fucking blunt; no, because of who I was now, my death would come in the heat of battle, and it would be painful, and possibly slow, and I do not accept that.
This utter fool had nearly snatched my future, mine and Serenity's.
Now, she would pay for that mistake.
I continued push through water until it was only at chest height, accompanied by the sound of those wretched heels though they grew farther with each stroke. I left the shelter that was the underside of the dock and pried Rini off me long enough to push her onto it before hauling myself up next to her. She pressed to my side, seeking warmth or perhaps comfort, though I couldn't say for sure as my attention immediately locked onto the woman –our attacker- and her leisure pace as she strolled towards us.
Dark purple locks fell in long waves down her shoulders, accenting pale skin and similarly purple eyes- eyes filled with wicked glee. The woman wore a pink, pinstriped onesie that covered her from neck to ankle, sharp purple pumps echoing every step, and a black, jagged tutu reminiscent of crow feathers. Everything about her was eye catching and screamed danger, from the malice in her grin to the deep blue flame that flickered to life in her open palm.
An inverted crescent moon, black as night, adorned her brow.
I rose to my feet, falling into a defensive stance out of instinct.
An elated gigle slipped past the woman's lips as she observed us, dark nails resting delicately against her cheek. "Oh dear, what a pitiful sight the two of you make."
My grasp on the moon scepter tightened. "Who are you?"
"Me?" She preened. "I am Koan of the Black Moon Clan, and I have been sent to retrieve the Rabbit by my beloved. You, dear girl, are in my way. I suggest moving out of it before my patience wears thin."
The fire in her hand flared as though to emphasize her point.
I should have been scared, or at the very least wary. However, as I watched Koan, her sharp grin and heated gaze, those knife-like heels and painted nails, all I could think was what this woman would die, and she would die by my hand. I'd open her throat with the moon scepter and watch her blood stain the dock red. Koan of the Black Moon Clan had been a breath away from taking everything from me including my life, but she had wanted to toy with her food first.
She'd underestimated me.
I couldn't help it, and a single laugh escaped me.
Her grin turned to a snarl.
She threw the fireball faster than I could have safely dodged with a child at my side, and as it closed in on us with a fury my only thought was to shield. The image was clear in my mind, a barrier using the power of the moon scepter and so the hand wielding it shot out instinctively as the rest of my body cringed back from the flame. Of course, this was reality where thinking about a shield wouldn't magically conjure one. The moon scepter swung out, meeting the flame head on and, to my astonishment, cutting right through it smooth as butter.
The fireball dispersed three feet from my face.
Koan was appropriately stunned, and it was more than I could have ever asked for. Something dark told hold of my emotions as together it dawned on both me and my enemy that the power had shifted. She was no longer in control, and I had a score to settle. "You should've killed me when you had the chance."
"You…" Koan took a step back in a move that appeared almost subconscious as her wide gaze bore into me with a newfound intensity, turning towards caution as she finally seemed to see me. That sultry voice was in near disbelief, her next words breathless as she murmured, "You're her, aren't you? The Destroyer… You're Sailor Moon."
"Yes." Now I was stalking her every move, gaining ground for every step Koan receded with a smile that promised pain and a voice brimming with sweet venom. "And you, Koan of the Black Moon Clan, I think I shall take great pleasure in gutting."
The dark haired woman took one look at the moon scepter in my hands, its extended length and sharp edges.
And then she disappeared.
What came next was a bit of a blur, though I was the one in charge of our movements.
There was no fire, no more creatures lying in wait as I healed my hand, whisked Rini up and stumbled back into the park for her ball. She curled around me, head buried in the crook of my neck and shivering uncontrollably. I noted the scorched marks grazing one side of her clothes and the crisp ends of her hair, not quite singed, as I released Sailor Moon and found myself in wet but welcome winter clothing.
I hailed us a cab, ignoring the driver's questioning look and, after rattling off the location of the warehouse district, settled into a semi-dazed silence. Rini sat quietly tucked into my side, slowly warming up in the heat of the cab and clutching her ball tightly. One of my hands ran up and down her arm in absentminded motions as I lost myself in a flurry of thoughts.
The Black Moon Clan was going to be a problem.
Rini had wanted me to go to the future to fight them –which I'd had no intentions of doing- but now that argument was moot point. They were here, in the past, and more than willing to spill some blood to meet their ends.
I had almost died today.
If that woman Koan had simply gone for the kill straight away, that would have been it. No second chances. Serenity would have been stuck in the Silver Crystal, her shot at freedom gone and at the mercy of god only knows who. That couldn't happen. I couldn't die before freeing her, couldn't be careless or reckless or make such a mistake. The clock was ticking, the window of opportunity to secure Serenity's future dwindling with each day and I was only now understanding that.
There would always be enemies in Tokyo.
The fight never ended.
I knew this, knew it and yet the implications hadn't dawned on me until this very moment. There would always be another battle to be fought, another opponent scheming against one of us, and every day I didn't revive Serenity was another day closer to that next confrontation. I couldn't waste time anymore, there was no guarantee I'd survive the next one and the only person I could count on to bring Serenity back was myself. The Order of Elysion did have the right drive, their moral compass would stand in the way if this was left to them.
It was time to face the facts, and the facts were that at this point in time the knowledge I required to give Serenity a body simply didn't exist yet. In this field of science Rei, Jadeite and I were the groundbreaking pioneers paving the way for future research, and our own knowledge measured pitifully miniscule at the moment. However, there was one place guaranteed to have the knowledge necessary, and perhaps even the materials. Rini had told me about it herself when describing Crystal Tokyo of the 30th century.
It was a city filled with people that retained abilities.
A city with academies that likely taught about and researched magic, ESP, and paranormal phenomena. The proper knowledge would exist there; it had to with an entire millennium to have built upon the miniscule foundation already being laid here in the present by the Order of Elysion. Having arrived at that conclusion, what came next was the obvious, near inevitable choice.
The cabbie dropped us off two blocks from Elysion headquarters.
We made the short walk in record time, clothes only just beginning to dry, and entered the warehouse hand in hand. Inside, the place was quietly abuzz as everyone went about their own business and I suddenly remembered it was, for them, a normal morning. Rei and Jadeite were in their corner, heads bent over a book. The second office door was closed yet again, light on and blinds shut. The first office was in use, though the blinds were up and the door ajar. At the table Makoto, Matsuo, and Zoisite chatted about something until Makoto, the only one facing our way, glanced up at the two of us.
"Oh my god." She jumped to her feet, voice echoing off the high ceiling and catching everyone's attention. "What the hell happened?"
Three heads peered out of the open office, blonde, silver, and black respectively as those at the table spun in their seats and Makoto hurried toward us.
Rini pressed her face into my side, and I glanced down at her.
A little girl, that's all she was.
Not a malicious force, not an enemy. Whether she was being manipulated was another matter altogether, and a thought for a later date. Right now she was a scared child, one that now knew there was nothing glorious or pretty about battle. Luck and speed and being underestimated were all that had gotten me this far in life, no matter what Ami or anyone else seemed to think. Every battle waged had been one where I was fighting for continued survival and losing was not an option.
I squeezed her hand gently, reassuringly.
When I looked back up it was to startled, worried, agape expressions.
I took a slow breath, posture straightening. I nodded to Zoisite. "Go get blankets and whatever spare clothes you can find lying around here. Ami, call the rest of the Order back here for an emergency meeting. The Black Moon Clan is here, and they're looking for Rini."
Maybe it was something in my expression or tone, but there was no hesitation, no protests as I laid out orders. Ami and Zoisite moved with haste, doing as they were told while I led Rini over to the conference table. The last two days I'd sat here and had life altering conversations and now as I lowered myself into what was now officially my seat at the table for the third time in three days, I was about to have another one.
Minako met my gaze across the room. "So what does this mean?"
It meant there was a city filled with exactly the kind of information that would help me in reviving Serenity, and that the only way to get to said city was to travel a thousand years into the future. It meant in order to get what I wanted I had to march head long into that trap, into that future where certain doom and unknown enemies lied in wait. It meant lying and scheming and allying myself with a cause I didn't actually believe in and people that had a fifty fifty chance of either being helpful to or hindering my goal.
It meant drinking the kool-aid, but I didn't say any of that.
Instead I allowed a grim smile to grace my features and replied, "It means I'm joining the revolution."
For better or worse.
A/N
Good day, fellow readers!
Do you feel like this chapter was all over the place? Are you looking for higher quality story telling? Have you found yourself questioning the meaning of life and why, exactly, this fic feels like one huge existential crisis? Well then. Fear not! Because I, the Author, feel exactly the same!
Mostly the part about this chapter being all over the place, but that may have something to do with the fact that my ADD is being relentless and cruel and has taken the reins because I forgot to refill my medication in the beginning of the new year, have been without it ever since and will continue to suffer for the next damn month while I struggle to be a Normal Functioning Adult™ until my next prescription can be filled. If it makes any of you feel any better, I am sorry?
The Fic Must Go On, as no one says, ever.
Anyway, as much as I'd hate to drag this A/N on, there's something that I've been noticing from various PMs and Reviews that's been nagging at me for a while now and I know if I don't address it it'll continue to haunt me and we really can't have that, not good for the soul or my insomnia.
Usagi… is not a kicked puppy, or a poor damsel in distress.
She's got a shit life, yeah, and terrible circumstances and yes the universe (Me) keeps kicking her while she's down but… well, Usagi isn't a Woe-Is-Me pity case; she isn't a Helpless Victim™ or a Sweet Cinnamon Roll Too Pure For This World™. Pity her, because by god is she deserving of some sympathy, but remember who, exactly it is that we're pitying here. Usagi is selfish and ruthless and though she may not take pleasure in hurting others she'll do it if that's what it takes to meet her ends, to survive another day. Her natural instinct of self-preservation is only pierced by the occasional bout of humanity for another human being.
Usagi will always do what needs to be done.
Imagine the city, town, village, you live in. Imagine your neighbors and friends and coworkers. Imagine a third of them in comas from mysterious attacks and another third with loved ones in those comas. Imagine being able to save those people, being able to stop their attackers beforehand, or just having the ability to wake them from those comas. People with siblings and parents and friends and children, all waiting for them to wake up, wondering if they'll ever get better. Imagine having the power to ease that suffering, to help these innocent bystanders.
Imagine leaving them to their fates.
Usagi doesn't care much about the world, or rather, she's too busy trying to stay alive to give a damn. Pity her, but remember that at the end of the day, by society's standards, she is not a good person, and she consciously acts on this knowledge even if it chews at her insides later on.
With that said,
Thoughts? Questions? Undignified But Amusing Responses?
Please Review!
P.S. Someone asked me what having ADD is like as a writer. Well, it's like slamming your head into a brick wall, only not because instead it's actually the brick wall slamming into you, even when you aren't frustrated or annoyed, and at random intervals throughout the day.
Basically, my ADD is stalking me, lurking in the shadows and snapping it's fingers menacingly. That probably doesn't make sense to any of you but it does to me and that's about as good as it's going to get.
