Disclaimer: Probably not the first time that someone has done a fanfic like this. I don't read a lot of HP fanfic so this isn't meant to copy anyone.

6:08 pm

New Alert: Draco Malfoy has started a groupchat.

Draco Malfoy has renamed the groupchat to 'Slytherin Rules'.

Draco Malfoy has added Blaise Zambini, Pansy Parkinson, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle to Slytherin Rules.

Draco Malfoy and four others are online.

Pansy Parkinson has left the chat.

Draco Malfoy has added Pansy Parkinson to Slytherin Rules.

Pansy Parkinson: why does this exist?

Blaise Zambini: why would u think i know

Draco Malfoy has changed their name to Serpent King. Serpent King changed Pansy Parkinson to Handsy Witch. Serpent King changed Blaise Zambini to hotzucchini. Serpent King changed Vincent Crabbe to Idiot 1. Serpent King changed Gregory Goyle to Idoit 2.

Idiot 1: Is that meant to be offenisve?

Hotzucchini: duh

Idoit 2: we're not idiots

Handsy Witch: if u weren't idiots than you would've noticed that i2's name spelled incorrectly

Handsy Witch: also draco hasn't responded to this

Hotzucchini: u there?

Serpent King: yep, mcgonagall was telling me off for walking

Handsy Witch: he was making out with an apple on the teacher's desk

Hotzucchini: that's weird af

Serpent King: did you just use af?

Hotzucchini: did i make out with an apple?

Serpent King: me and that apple have a deeper understanding for love than you will ever have

Idiot 1: and he calls us idoits

Serpent King: MY FATHER WILL BE HEARING ABOUT THIS

Serpent King is offline.

Handsy Witch has added Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis to Slytherin Rules.

Tracey Davis has changed their name to Trixie Witch. Trixie Witch has changed Daphne Greengrass to Bitch Witch.

Trixie Witch: I WON'T HESITATE BITCHESSSSSSSS

Trixie Witch is offline.

Hotzucchini: I have so many questions

Idoit 2: welcome to my life

Bitch Witch: why tf am i bitch witch.

Handsy Witch: bc ur the bitchiest off all of us

Idoit 2: apart from draco or 'Serpent King'

Hotzucchini:

Idiot 1:

Bitch Witch:

Serpent King is online.

Serpent King: rude.

Trixie Witch is online.

Trixie Witch: periodt

Everyone is offline.


2:17 am

Serpent King is online.

Serpent King: I got hungry, RIP drapple

Serpent King is offline.


9:50 am

Bitch Witch is online.

Bitch Witch: anyone know where Tracey is?

Idoit 2 and Hotzucchini are online.

Idoit 2: I just had transfiguration with her. no idea where she is though

Bitch Witch: was she 'experimenting'

Hotzucchini: yes

Idoit 2: there's also a bat following us around, it's a nuisance

Bitch Witch: that bat's name is Tracey WTF Davis

Bitch Witch: I'll deal with it.

Bitch Witch is offline.

Handsy Witch and Serpent King are online.

Handsy Witch: this chat has something against being normal

Serpent King: that's what the other chats are for

Idoit 2: what other chat?

Hotzucchini: it's only for smart people

Bitch Witch is online.

Bitch Witch: periodtttttttt

Bitch Witch is offline.

Idoit 2: did she literally just come on to say that?

Serpent King: I still didn't know that you could read

Handsy Witch: yo is trace still alive?

Hotzucchini: yeah, she's annoying longbottom

Hotzucchini: it's wonderful

Serpent King: don't be such a huge baby blaise. I could only imagine what your parents must be thinking about you right now

Hotzucchini: MY FATHER SHALL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Idoit 2: OMG lol

Handsy Witch: normally I wouldn't laugh at that but draco's being a huge bitch so lmaoooooo

Serpent King: I'm so done with this chat

Handsy Witch: you're the one that started it.

Trixie Witch added Luna Lovegood to Slytherin Rules.

Handsy Witch: in all of the name that slithers, no

Everyone is offline.