Elena stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out. She stood under the stream, thinking about everything. While the most recent events easily popped into her mind, she also thought about sophomore year, about when she dated Matt, or when Jeremy had a crush on Vickie. She thought about when she met Stefan or meeting Damon for the first time. She reminisced about the sun and the moon curse, the house in New Jersey and her first time shopping with Rebekah.

When she got out and wrapped a towel around herself, she looked long and hard at the person staring back at her. She gazed defiantly at herself, as if her reflection would do something different than her, or maybe Katharine would appear.

When nothing happened and it was only her towel-cladded self with dripping wet hair staring back at her, Elena left. Opening her bedroom door, she was met with a visitor, back turned staring out the window. "Elijah."

Turning around, Elijah cleared his throat and Elena blushed a dark shade of red. Realizing how close to naked she was, she quickly scurried off with some clothes in hand to change.

"Feeling better?" Elijah asked when she returned in a black tank top and matching shorts.

"Yeah," she said coming over to him. Since the shower, her legs seemed more stable. Slipping her arms underneath his, she hugged herself to his chest and inhaled deeply.

Elijah wrapped his arms around Elena's small frame and kissed the top of her head. He couldn't believe he had almost lost her. Pulling back, he dipped his neck down to meet her lips in a sweet kiss. "Don't you dare leave me," he swore.

She stared up a him with a smile that didn't quite meet her eyes.

"I'm missing something, aren't I?" he asked hesitantly. Slowly watching her nod, Elijah swallowed and let her guide him to the bed to hear the news.

Elena went over everything. With depth and detail, she told him everything from the time he was knocked unconscious to when she passed out. She told him about her encounter with Sheila Bennett and she talked to him about the deal she made and why she did it. She even went over the fear of Silas.

Elijah listened to every word. He didn't once interrupt her as she went over the events from the day. Instead, he held her. He held onto her and recorded every word she spoke to his memory. When she was finished and no detail was left lingering in the air, he took time she gave him to soak it all in.

In the end she had a choice. Turn or die. What she planned to do was still undetermined. But she still had time. He'd convince her a life as a vampire was one worth taking.

"It's a lot, I know," she said anxiously waiting for him to say something. Elena was waiting for a talk or some scolding or anything. She wasn't sure how he would take the decision she made, let alone the information about Silas. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Would he want to talk to her about transitioning into a vampire?

"I missed you" was all he said staring up at her face. While he could sense the anxiety rolling off her, his concerns were more aimed towards how pale and tired she looked. They didn't need to go over any more tonight. Instead, he just wanted to be with her.

Feeling as his lips set gently on hers, she kissed him back softly. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him. She didn't know what part she was exactly apologizing for, but it felt like her fault. It always felt like all her fault.

Caressing his thumb over her cheek bone, he looked down to her lips. "You have nothing to be sorry for." And he kissed her again.


Elijah slept for a mere hour. There was too much on his mind to sleep. Luckily as a vampire his body didn't need much to survive. For hours he watched as Elena slept. There were a few times in the night that her eyebrows furrowed and small beads of sweat would appear. During those times he'd hush her back to sleep, bringing her body closer to his. He snuggled with her, keeping her close and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. It'd get her to calm down, her body relax and she'd resume her light whisper of a snore.

And so, he laid there, pondering and lost in his thoughts for hours. Determined to have a plan, Elijah made a few things clear to himself. 1., he would stop at nothing to track down Finn and stop him. 2., he'd convince Elena that being a vampire and continuing to live was best -not just for him, but herself, Jeremy and her friends as well. 3., he'd give her the best human life possible, for however long she'd have left of it. No amount of money would be spared and everything she dreamed of that he could make come true, would. And lastly, 4., he'd not let any more harm come to her. Even though she now possessed their quick healing, after the encounter of losing her, he couldn't take going through that again.

"'Lijah," she groaned, brows furrowed and body tensed.

The fear in her voice broke his thoughts and he turned his body, running a hand up through her hair. Deciding to get closer, he nestled her against him, setting her head on his chest. "Shh, I'm here," he said. "You're safe, Elena."

Comforting her as best as he could, he waited and watched until she relaxed. "I'll always be with you," he told her. "I'm right here."

Elena awoke in the early afternoon, still lagged with exhaustion. "Hi," she said upon finding an awake Elijah next to her once her eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning, my lovely Elena," he said, his body facing her as he stared at her beauty.

"How long have you been awake?" she wondered with a small yawn. Moving closer and snuggling her body to his, she enjoyed the feel of him against her. "A while. I wanted to let you sleep. You needed the rest."

Humming, she closed her eyes. "I love you," he told her while running a hand up and down her back.

"I love you too," she murmured.

They stayed like that for a while. Elena drifted in and out of sleep as Elijah held her. At one point, Jeremy had come in to check them, Elijah holding his sleeping sister in an embrace.

"She's okay," Elijah whispered to a worried Jeremy. "Her body is just recuperating. Magic also takes a lot from the body and soul. She needs time to heal."

"Is there anything I can do?" Jeremy asked softly. Staring at his sister, fragile in the Original's arms, he had never felt so helpless.

The look on Jeremy face was something Elijah knew well. The Gilbert boy was looking to feel useful for his sister. "Give her time. Maybe pick up a few of her favorite things to eat for when she wakes up," Elijah instructed.

"Sure, I'll grab some food from her favorite take out places and put them in the fridge. Oh, and I'll stop by the grocery store, pick up a few things she may want and need," Jeremy rattled off. "Did you need anything?"

Elijah shook his head. "No, Jeremy. I am good, thank you."

Leaving them be, Jeremy let Elijah know he be gone for a while and left as quietly as possible. Sleeping all day was normal, Jeremy told himself. She needed to recover.


By three weeks' time, things had resumed fairly normal for Elena. Though it had taken her a week to get over the deathly experience, she went ahead, passing her GED exam, and re-adjusting to her vampire abilities. She had yet to talk to Stefan and had been avoiding Damon since the incident. It was a touchy subject with everyone and she wasn't sure she how to deal with it yet. Elijah had been adamant about having supervision around the Salvatores, and Jeremy was still shook up as well. While she didn't blame any of them for their feelings, it clouded her own thoughts.

The trip that Kol and Klaus had taken to New Orleans was a bust. Finn was gone before they could even begin searching. And since then, he'd been a ghost. Everyone was worried about what Finn may be up to and if Silas was going to rise. But there wasn't much they could do.

Their dead leads didn't deter Elena from continuing to look though. She spent most of her time searching for Finn. It was a daily occurrence to go over to the Mikaelson's mansion while Jeremy and her friends were in school. Most of the time, she'd be with Klaus in the library, going over any leads they had come up with. It was rare for any results to return though.

It had been in the fourth, coming up on fifth week, since the witches resurrected her that Elena put one of her plans into action. Against some of her safer ideas, they decidedly trained Jeremy. Elena had enlisted Klaus, Elijah and the rest of the Original siblings to help guide her brother to become a better vampire hunter. She thought about asking Damon and Stefan as well, but she didn't think everyone would play well with one another. Damon especially.

The Mikaelsons showed Jeremy how to defend himself, to be safe when a vampire attacks, and assisted in improving his reflexes. With the decades of experience each Mikaelson had with supernatural encounters and hunters, it proved to be useful. Jeremy was not only a quick study due to his supernatural status, but he also learned how to defend himself against creatures like wolves. Before long Jeremy was stronger and faster. He excelled with a crossbow and now knew how to make a weapon even if he didn't have one at the moment.

It was their last efforts to stop Finn from getting to Silas. If they could help Jeremy kill enough vampires to reveal the map, maybe they could get to Silas before Finn and stop him. And so far, it was working.

"I still can't believe I suggested this," Elena said, rubbing her temples as she watched her little brother and Klaus train.

"It's not that bad, Elena," Jeremy said, punching the gloves Klaus was holding up. "I'm a hunter no matter what. It's better that I learn from people who have the skills, and they're people you trust. It won't get much better than this."

Elena groaned and continued to watch the pair. Her mind couldn't help going to Ric. The old Ric would have been a bit proud…and probably a lot protective. Yawning, Elena rested her chin on her arms and continued to watch over her brother. With all of the stress going on, she couldn't shake the fatigue that crept back in her bones. She was always exhausted.

Hearing her phone ring, Elena got up from her spot on the floor and grabbed the device. Damon, it read. Biting her lip, Elena stood there momentarily paused. Weeks had past and she still hadn't dealt with her feelings about the accident. She knew Stefan couldn't help it, but a part of her was terrified of him as well. And she never thought that'd happen.

Glancing back to the two boys, she found them preoccupied with one another, sparring jabs. Turning back to her phone, she exited the room and stepped outside of the house to take the call.

"Finally!" Damon's voice chimed with a scolding tone.

"Damon," Elena warned. She was in no mood for some lecture from him. "What do you want?"

"What, I can't call just because? We used to be friends Elena, or did Elijah and his siblings compel you to forget that little fact?"

It plucked at a nerve to hear Damon bash the Mikaelson family after all they had done for her and now Jeremy, but she also knew Damon. This was how he did things.

"Elijah and his family would never compel me against my will, Damon," Elena clarified. "And I'm sorry I've been avoiding you and Stefan. I just…I'm not sure how to feel about the whole thing."

"It's been weeks, Elena. Weeks! How have you not had time to think about things? You can't tell me you haven't been up in that room of yours journaling your little heart out about how Stefan practically ate you for dinner."

Elena frowned. She was predictable, she knew, but it still surprised her to hear. "Just because I journal my feelings doesn't mean I've figured them out. Damon, its more than that. Stefan…he did kill me."

"What? What are you talking about, Elena?"

Elena sighed and bit her lip. She hadn't filled them in about what happened with Grams, but at the moment she was too tired to do so. It was such a long story, it seemed like it deserved a person-to-person explanation. "it's a long story, but let's just say that witches intervened on my untimely death and now I owe them one."

"What does that even mean?" Damon asked with attitude. "Look, I know you don't want to see little bro right now, but-"

"Damon, no." Elena spoke, cutting him off from the guilt trip he was about to take her down. "I don't blame Stefan. Please tell him that. And I'm not mad at you either. But right now, I just need some time. We're still trying to get things figured out here. And I've got more than me to think about."

"So what? We don't count anymore? We don't deserve to be filled in? What about your friends? Or did you forget about them too?"

"No Damon," Elena said angrily. "I didn't forget about them. They've been giving me space and time like I've asked. My biggest priority right now is taking care of Jeremy and to stop Finn. I can't help if you don't agree with that or my decisions."

"Elena," Damon sighed. "I just-"

There was a long pause and the building anger Elena was feeling dissipated. "I know things have been different between us since the night of the ball," she said compassionately. "And I'm sorry I haven't tried harder to keep you and Stefan in my life like how it used to be. But things have changed, Damon. It can't go back to how it used to be and honestly, I wouldn't want it to. I've made choices -choices that have hurt you and Stefan in the process. And I really am sorry for those. But please, you have to respect what is going on now. The Mikaelson family is different than how they used to be and if you took the time to get to know them, you'd see that too. They are the same as you and Stefan, Damon. They have my best interest in mind."

"Right, except for the fact that it hasn't always been them Elena. You may forget but it was Stefan and me who've always had your back. And now, what? That's it? You leave and come back like your life before never existed? What do you think would have happened if the night of the ball ended differently? – if you didn't save Elijah? You really think your new family dearest would have protected you like they do now? That Elijah would come have come to your rescue? It's never been them Elena. It's been us, even when we've twisted things up and messed with one another. You've tossed us aside and kept us in the dark. We deserve better."

Much of it was probably true and Elena was plagued with guilt. She felt like such a selfish creature.

"I-," she faltered, sighing into the phone with exhaustion. Putting a hand to her face, she looked out at the property surrounding the Mikaelson Mansion and sighed. That girl long ago really never pictured herself being here on a social visit like she now was.

A hand set upon her shoulder, making her jump. Spinning around, she met a curious looking Elijah.

"I should go," Elena said moving to hang up. It wasn't that Elijah couldn't be around to hear the conversation – hell, he and his family had probably heard most of it by now with their vampire hearing, but a girl could wish for some privacy.

"What! That's it?!" Damon's voice exclaimed incredulous over the phone.

Elena frowned at the device and caught the pinch of emotion on Elijah's blank slated face.

"I'll call you later, okay? I just…I gotta go." And without another word, she hung up her cell phone and tucked it in her back pocket.

"How long have you been standing there?" Elena wondered. She couldn't get a read on Elijah. He was being guarded, making her feel on edge.

"Long enough," he shrugged. Long moments of silence passed between the two. "Elena-"

Elijah always used a certain tone of voice when he wanted to give someone a lecture or long talk about what they should or shouldn't do. It was that exact voice he was using in saying her name. And she knew exactly what he wanted to say. Shaking her head and crossing her arms, Elena stopped him. "Don't, okay? Please. Just, don't okay?"

"They killed you and still, you talk to them," he stated, the pitch in his voice raising ever so slightly.

So much for not talking about this, she grumbled to herself.

"When will they learn, Elena? They took your life away from you. They should be punished for what they've done. Yet you let the walk around Mystic Falls, letting them call you and guilting you into things that are just a way to try and control you."

Every word Elijah said made Elena grow in frustration. Maybe it was a build up from the conversation with Damon and feeling like she was going around in circles. Whatever it was, made her skin boil and heart rise to racing speeds.

"You don't understand," Elena said frustrated. Running a hand through her hair she kept hold of herself. "I don't blame Stefan for what happened, Elijah. And you know that. They are my friends. I'm just as much to blame in the situation for wiping my blood on his hands. They have their faults, but it comes from a good place."

"A good place?" he questioned. "The Ripper came after you, Elena. He a danger to himself and everyone around him."

"And the rest of you are not?" Elena questioned defiantly. "All of you think you are so much better than the rest. But you're not! You all are just… stupid." Pushing past him, she went inside and went to grab her things. She couldn't stand to hang around any longer. She couldn't be around the Mikaelsons, the Salvatores or herself anymore. She just needed to get out.

"Elena, look at you. Listen to yourself! You're trying to blame yourself for bleeding from a wound you had no control over. You're human! If those two weren't so busy controlling your life and inserting themselves where they don't belong-"

"Don't they?" Elena asked, sweeping up her coat and bag from the floor and turning back to him. She didn't care that she was now fighting with Elijah in the middle of Klaus and Jeremy practice. If Elijah had chosen to follow her, she'd continue with the battle he seemed so bent on fighting.

Get out, get out, get out, her brain kept chanting.

Elena met the challenging fire in Elijah's eyes and defiantly waited for him to make a move. Why was it that Damon and Stefan couldn't exist in her life?

"Uh…guys?" Jeremy questioned awkwardly. He cleared his throat and took a step over to his sister.

The interference was what made Elena drop her guard and let her shoulders drop in the exhaustion. It seeped into her voice when she spoke. "They are my friends. They were once what I almost considered family, Elijah. They have been protecting me for so long and from so much. At one point, they were even protecting me against you." She looked up at him, recalling the first time they met in the old house with Rose and Trevor. She was so scared of him then. Damon and Stefan had saved her then.

Elijah's anger and stubbornness faltered.

"Damon may not say it, but he and Stefan miss me. I just need time to figure it all out. I need you to stop telling me what is good for me and how they are not. Stefan made a mistake and he and I have to live with that. They just-…they deserve as much of a chance as you all do."

"They do not, Elena," Elijah said with a stiffened jaw. "I would never take your life from you Elena. Not unless it had to be done. What Stefan did was irreprehensible."

"You don't think he knows that?" Elena asked Elijah. "Could you imagine what he is feeling right now? How guilt-ridden he must be?" Elena felt a pang in her heart for how long she had been avoiding him.

In Elena's silence, Elijah stared at her with both anger and love. Elena's compassion and empathy for others was something he loved most about her, but it was her stubbornness and attraction for danger that made him upset.

"You cannot go see him or Damon Salvatore without one of us present, Elena," Elijah said determinedly. It was the wrong thing to say because it snapped Elena out of her thoughts and turned her body ridged.

"I don't take orders from you, Elijah. I can do whatever I want. It's my life, whether it's the end of it or not. You don't get to tell me what I can or can't do, and especially not who I'm allowed to see. I deserve respect Elijah." With that Elena went to walk out of the room, her hands already searching around in her bag for the car keys.

"Elena," Elijah said in a voice that bellowed throughout the large open room. She couldn't get a read on what he was calling her for. For once, since getting to know and love him, she didn't know anything to what he was thinking or feeling. And maybe it was for the better. Elena was filled to the brim with emotion.

Stopping in her place but not turning back, she waited for him to say something.

Silence.

"Until you can give me the respect I deserve – the kind of respect I used to get from you - I don't want to see you, Elijah." And Elena then left, having Jeremy get a ride home with Klaus or some other Mikaelson. She was so exhausted, when she got home she walked in her front door, setting down her keys and other things, and crashed on the living room couch.


When Elena woke, she was laying in her bed, a blanket draped over her. Confused, she sat up and glanced around. Muffled noises were coming from downstairs, and upon using her vampire hearing, she listened the sounds of video games and Jeremy's voice. Kol was there too.

Relieved by their presence, Elena got up from her bed and grabbed her journal. Predictable or not, journaling was her release from all her crazy thoughts. As of late, she felt like she was writing a novel.

"Your brother needs to work on his video games," Kol said standing in her bedroom doorway, making her jump.

She must have been journaling for a while seeing it was now dark outside. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long. Just wanted to swing up here and say hi to my favorite human," he said coming and plopping on her bed. Head behind his arms, he watched as she closed her journal. "What have you been up to all day? I heard from Bex you had a blow out with dear brother Elijah."

Elena nodded uncomfortably.

Kol tried not to sigh when watching Elena, but since the Pastor's field, things had been off between them. Kol wasn't sure if Elena blamed him as he blamed himself for not getting to her in time, but ever since the event, they had been distant and not their joking selves.

"Did I do something Elena?" Kol asked. He had tried to make things up to her by being extra nice, making sure not to kill anyone or feed from a human, and hell, he even stopped getting on his siblings' nerves. But even I doing that, he couldn't get her attention like he used to.

Elena's eyebrows furrowed and she moved to sit across from him on her bed. "No. Why would you think that?"

Kol was uncomfortable with personal talk, he never really opened himself up anymore. There wasn't a point when you outlived everyone. And his family was not the sharing type. He guessed it was why he gravitated to Elena. "If you blame me about Stefan, I would agree with you. I should have gotten to you and at the barn sooner. I was thinking of only myself by going to leave town and-"

"stop, stop, stop," Elena said dropping her journal on the bed and putting her hands up. "What are you talking about? Kol, I don't blame you for anything that happened at the pastor's house. I didn't mean to give off that impression. I guess I've just had a lot on my mind lately. Between spending time with Jeremy, trying to find leads on Finn, and dealing with everything else, I just…I guess I got sidetracked," she sighed. "I'm not mad at you. And you shouldn't blame yourself for anything that happened. You are allowed to think about yourself. You got to the Pastor's farm when you could and that's what matters. While I can't agree with you compelling the Pastor to kill himself and the rest of the council with the house fire, I get why you got them all involved."

Kol swallowed hard. "If it's not me, then what is going on?"

"Nothing," Elena sighed before running a hand through her hair. It was a clear tell she did when she was stressed that wasn't aware of, and doing it made Kol angry.

"You're lying to me. Maybe I should just rip that journal from your hands and read for myself what has your knickers in a twist. Maybe that way we can get back to being open with one another."

Elena inwardly retracted herself from his harshness. "Don't."

"Then stop lying to me," Kol replied with narrow eyes.

Glancing down at her journal, she debated telling him what was going on. While she was sure that he'd be on Elijah's side, Kol always had her best interest in mind. Funny how their relationship had grown. Kol was her friend. And it was odd, but they never lied to one another. It was some unwritten rule between them. They were always honest with one another, even if it was brutally so. She admired that about him.

And so, she opened her mouth and told him everything she was feeling. Part of her felt like it was wrong, that she should be talking to Elijah about all of this, but she wasn't sure if he could handle all she had to say. He was so overprotective sometimes it was hard to see past anything else.

"Your life is better than the soap operas on TV," Kol said laying on her bed, finishing off a blood bag while she ate a sandwich she made herself. They had been talking for hours.

"Be serious," she complained, shoving him lightly. Being the dramatic soul he was, Kol fell back, sprawling across her bed.

"Kol," Elena whined again.

"Okay, okay," he said sitting up. She had shared everything about the Salvatores, but mainly focused on the ball and gone forward to now. She didn't hold anything back on her feelings or thoughts and Kol appreciated her honesty. With interest, he kept to himself how captivating it was to hear her perspective and attempts to help her loved ones. She was fierce.

"Well, my brother is being a prick," Kol started. "Yet again, so are Damon and Stefan Salvatore."

It was Elena's first instinct to defend them, but she bit her tongue and tried to listen.

"I can't possibly tell you what to do," Kol stated. "but I do agree with my brother that you should not be alone with the Salvatores."

She wanted to argue with him.

"Stefan literally ate you," Kol clarified before a word could come from her mouth. "He took your life, Elena. Your humanity. Humanity is something we all…envy with such passion. And while you have it now, you will lose it. You've lost it really," he chimed. "Elijah can be mad about that and can be angry at the culprit on your behalf. He loves you."

Elena bit her lip and sighed.

"But he also does not get to be the bugger he is," Kol smirked. "My brother can be a real stick in the mud."

Elena shoved Kol again lightly, smiling at his lightness. For some reason, this all felt easier to hear from him. "Like I said, I can't possibly tell you what to do next. What I can suggest is that you take a day. Try taking one for yourself and not worry so much. You're bound to give yourself wrinkles."

"Hey!" Elena said putting on her best appalled face before laughing and starting a pillow fight with Kol.

"You can't help everyone, Elena," Kol sighed after they finished smacking each other around. Feathers were still falling around them from when Kol burst open a pillow for dramatic effect. "And you don't have to forgive everyone either."

Elena glanced to him as he laid beside her. Not many have put it like that before. "Thanks for coming here, Kol."

"Anytime darling," he smiled. It was this rare smile that Elena enjoyed. It wasn't pompous or full of a hidden agenda. It was pure, happy, warm. "And on that note, I must be going."

Kol pulled himself up from the bed and dusted the feathers off of him.

"What about this mess?" Elena asked as he walked to leave.

Glancing around, Kol gave a proud nod. He did a mighty good job ripping open that pillow and sending feathers everywhere. Her bed was absolutely covered and she had some still stuck in her hair and on her clothes. "Yes, well, have fun with that."

With a signature smirk and wink, he sped out from the Gilbert house, chuckling at Elena's grumbles that floated in the wind.