Evie sighed as she looked around the room that belonged to a toddler. She knew that it was the only place she could sleep but realistically, she just wished she could sleep in Mal's room. In Mal's bed. With Mal. Not that that would ever happen, of course. Mal would never share the same feelings Evie did.
There was a knock at the door, "Hey, Evie, are you up? You have therapy in an hour."
"Yeah, I'm awake." Evie's answered back. She ran a brush through her hair, quickly braided it to the side and walked out the bedroom door.
"Hey," Mal said, getting Macie situated. She was in her scrubs for work.
"Hey. You know you don't have to drive me to therapy." Evie told her as she grabbed a box of cereal out of the pantry.
"It's on the way. You'll have to take a bus back but I'm heading that way anyway." Mal shrugged, handing Macie some yoghurt.
"Thanks," Evie said sheepishly. She felt awful for everything Mal was doing for her.
"Are you nervous?" Mal asked, handing Evie a cup of coffee before sitting down with her own.
Evie nodded in reply.
"Yeah, therapy sucks but it's good for you." Mal told her, taking a sip.
"Did you go?" Evie asked.
"I did. For about 2 years. It helped. Really. I had a lot of issues I didn't even realize were causing me to turn to drugs. I had all this anger towards my mother and-" Mal paused for a second, deciding that telling Evie she was a major part of her issues wasn't the best plan at the moment. "And just a lot of other things."
"I know it was me. It's okay to say that. I fucked up." Evie told her, looking down at the mug she was given. It was black with a purple M on it.
Mal just shrugged, "shit happens."
The girls sat in quiet for a while, watching Macie attempt to get yoghurt in her mouth and sipping from their coffees.
"I'm scared, Mal." Evie said quietly.
"I know, E...vie," Mal said. She just couldn't bring herself to call her by her old nickname.
Evie flinched a little at the reminder that they weren't really friends anymore.
"The first session will be the easiest," Mal continued. "She will ask you a lot of simple questions about why you are there. You just have to be honest. Tell her the truth about what happened that night, about your mom, about us."
"Us?" Evie asked quickly.
"Yeah...our friendship ending or whatever," Mal said.
Evie nodded, "right, of course." She felt stupid for thinking for a moment that Mal was talking about something else.
Mal noticed the look in Evie's eyes and she felt really bad. She knew about the other woman's old crush on her but Evie didn't know the feelings were mutual. Mal couldn't tell her though. Her and Evie being together was not a good idea.
"Um...okay then. I'm going to go get Macie cleaned up and then I'll meet you in the car." Mal stood up and wrangled Macie out of her high chair.
20 minutes later, they were on their way. Evie was playing with Macie in the backseat.
"Blue." Macie said matter of factly. Evie just laughed at the small child. She could see how the toddler kept Mal on track. She already loved Macie so much and she hadn't known her long.
Mal parked in front of 'It's a Small World Nursery.' "You can come in with us if you want." The blonde told her as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
"Really?" Evie asked as she undid her seatbelt and then started on Macie's.
"It's just daycare, Evie," Mal laughed at her excitement. She knew her friend needed to be useful and get into a routine. She figured dropping a kid off at daycare was about as routine as they could get.
Macie insisted on Evie carrying her into the building. Even though she had lived in Auradon for years, Evie still wasn't completely used to all the 'goodness' everywhere. The walls were covered in murals of castles, princes and princesses. All the things Evie had wanted as a child herself.
Mal quickly typed in Macie's ID number into the computer to check her in for the day and then led them down the hall. "She's in the toddler room. It's right here," Mal said as she stopped outside the room.
"Her room is Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Seriously?" Evie asked, raising her eyebrow.
Mal laughed. "Yep. It's okay, the Sleeping Beauty classroom will be coming up in a couple years."
Mal pushed open the door and let Evie and Macie in first. "Good morning, Miss Melody."
"Good morning, Macie," Melody came over to greet them as Macie wiggled out of Evie's arms and ran off to the toys.
"Chloe is picking her up today. I'm not off until late tonight." Mal told her, putting Macie's stuff in her cubby.
"Okay sounds good." Melody told her.
"Oh and this is Evie. She is staying with us for a while." Mal said, waving her arm towards Evie. "So if Macie says anything about 'blue' she is referring to her."
Evie just waved, then turned back and watched Macie play some more.
"Do you need to add her to your emergency contacts?" Melody asked, picking up a binder.
"Oh. Um...no that's not necessary." Mal said, awkwardly. Evie felt a slight pain through her heart at the words but she wasn't surprised. She knew she had messed up. "We should get going, Evie." Mal didn't want things to get even more awkward.
"Bye, Macie," Mal said to her daughter who didn't even look up from her toy. Mal rolled her eyes and walked out the door, Evie following close behind.
"I didn't mean anything by that," Mal said once they were on the road again. "I really don't trust people with my kid. It's not just you."
"I get it," Evie told her. Which was true but painful at the same time. She could only imagine the life they would have now if she had never walked away from their friendship. That thought hurt her a lot.
"One day, okay? It's just going to take time. I'll trust you again." Mal told her, taking her hand and squeezing it.
Evie felt butterflies in her stomach. She wasn't entirely sure if it was from Mal or the fact that they had just pulled up at the therapist.
"Okay so it's the number 5 bus to get back to my place. Here is a key. Chloe and Macie will be home around 4 and I should be home around 7."
"Thanks," Evie said, taking the key.
"You'll do great, okay?" Mal squeezed her hand again. "Text me when you're done so I know you're okay."
Evie nodded and waved goodbye as she got out of the car. She waved once again as Mal drove off. She turned on her heels and walked up to the building. She felt like she was going to throw up.
"Evelyn Grimhilde?" The Doctor came out and asked for her.
"It's Evie," the terrified woman said, getting up and walking over to her.
"Evie it is then," the doctor smiled. "I'm Dr. Darling." She led her into the office gesturing towards the couch so Evie could sit down.
"As in Wendy, Michael and John?" Evie asked as the doctor sat down across from her.
"Yeah, Michael is my dad," the doctor smiled.
"The Evil Queen is my mother," Evie told her.
"So you were one of the kids brought over from the Isle originally?"
"Yeah I came with Mal, Jay and Carlos." Evie told her.
"That had to have been a hard change." Dr. Darling said to her. It wasn't a question.
Evie nodded, "it was rough at first. I'm just glad I wasn't alone and I came with them. We all got to go through it together."
"Are you guys still friends?" The doctor asked, making notes on the clipboard in her hands. That made Evie nervous.
"I don't really know how to answer that." Evie told her honestly.
"That's okay. We can come back to that." The doctor scribbled some notes. Evie tried to stretch her neck enough to read it but no luck. "So what brings you here today."
"Drugs. Depression. General self hatred," Evil told her, half joking.
"Well let's start with the drugs then."
"That's complicated." Evie told her.
"What makes it complicated?"
Evie was quiet for a while, the doctor just looking at her, waiting. "I was raped," Evie said almost silently.
"Can you repeat that?" Dr. Darling asked her. She hadn't heard what the girl said.
Evie took a deep breath, steadying herself. Her hands were shaking. "I was raped."
"Do you know who did it?" The doctor asked her, writing some more.
Evie just shook her head. "It was dark, I didn't see him."
"And that's what led you to the drugs?"
"Not initially." Evie told her. "It's what led me to end my friendships and walk away from the people I loved."
"Okay," The doctor continued to take notes. "So that led you to feeling isolated, I'm guessing?"
Evie nodded again. "My ex boyfriend or whatever was selling to earn extra money and I convinced him to sell me some coke. I wanted something to make me forget."
"Did it work?"
"Yeah. It numbed me pretty well. I miss it." Evie admitted.
"How long have you been clean?"
"Not long. I OD'ed and ended up in the ER." Evie told her.
"Is that what made you decide to get clean? The almost dying?" The doctor asked, scribbling furiously.
"Not really, no. I ran into my old best friend, Mal." Evie grinned. "She's an ER nurse there. She's the one cheering me on through all this. Trying to help me."
"Your face lit up when you mentioned her name. She clearly very important to you."
Evie tried to conceal her smile but she couldn't help it. "Yeah, she is. She's always been."
"She's one you cut out of your life though isn't she?" The doctor asked.
"She was, yeah." Evie nodded.
"If she was so important, why end things?"
Evie's head was hurting with all the questions she was being asked. She wasn't exactly enjoying the walk down memory lane. "I blamed her."
"You blamed your friend for you being raped?"
Evie nodded.
"Can you explain to me how it was Mal's fault?" The doctor asked.
"I don't know. I was so screwed up and not thinking clearly and I blamed her for not walking me home because I told her not to because I was afraid I would kiss her and ruin everything and I told her to leave me alone forever because I couldn't deal with anything especially my feelings for her and what happened and yeah..." Evie rambled not taking a breath.
"Okay. Wow. That's a lot."
"Yeah, sorry," Evie said, looking down.
"So here is the first rule in therapy." The doctor started. "You never apologize. Especially for how you feel. No matter what, your feelings are valid."
Evie nodded. "Okay."
"Does you friend share the same feelings for you?" Dr. Darling asked.
"Of course not. Why would she? I'm horrible and I destroyed everything." Evie told her, trying not to cry.
"Well you can't have destroyed everything. You said she is helping you get better." The doctor smiled.
"She is." Evie smiled for a moment, "but she will eventually give up. I'm too broken. Too damaged. She will realize it eventually."
"You're not broken. I can tell they just from the little we've talked." The doctor wrote down some more notes. "Have you ever talked to anyone about what happened to you? The details of it?"
Evie shook her head. She had always kept the details to herself. Mal was one of the only people who knew what had happened but she knew the simple version.
"Okay, so next time we are going to work on dealing with that okay? Until we meet again, I want you to talk to a friend, Mal if you want, about the things you feel. Even if it's something silly. I get the impression that you won't always let yourself feel the way you should."
Evie chewed the inside of her lip. She was right of course. It was easier for Evie to just go along with things and deal quietly than express her feelings. "Okay."
"How about same time next week?"
"Yeah, okay," Evie told her. She wasn't sure she liked therapy or that she would show up but it was nice to have someone to talk to. "Thanks," she stood up and shook the woman's hand before walking out the door.
