Mal was exhausted by the time she walked through her front door that evening. It had been a particular busy day in the ER. It seemed everyone was out doing stupid shit and getting hurt.

"Hi baby," Mal smiled as her daughter ran into her arms. "Was she good?"

Chloe picked up her bag as she was getting ready to leave, "Mostly. She threw a fit because I wouldn't let her throw her toys into the glass window."

"Macie!" Mal scolded.

"Mama. It's good." Macie told her, very matter of factly.

Mal just rolled her eyes. "Thanks for watching her. Is Evie in her room?" She set the toddler down so she could thumb through the mail.

"No, I don't know where she is. She wasn't here when we got here." Chloe told her.

"What?" Mal practically yelled, causing Macie to jump. "What do you mean she isn't here?" Panic began rising in Mal's chest. Where was she? Was she okay? Did she already relapse again? "I have to go find her." Mal told her, immediately jerking open the front door.

"Woah," Evie said as Mal practically ran into her. Her hand had been on the doorknob about to turn it. Mal threw her arms around Evie, her pulse rate returning to normal. "Hi to you, too." Evie laughed.

"Night, guys," Chloe said. Pushing past them.

"Where were you?" Mal demanded, letting Evie go.

"I've just been wondering around mostly." Evie told her, shaking off her jacket and hanging it up.

"Did you? I mean are you..." Mal's sentence cut off as she started into Evie's eyes.

"I'm not high, if that's what you're trying to figure out." Evie told her, laughing as she bent down to say hi to Macie.

"Blue!" Macie smiled, hugging her newest friend.

"Not that it doesn't warm my heart, but why are you freaking out?" Evie asked Mal as she stood up again.

"I just thought that...maybe...I mean with therapy..." Mal rambled, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's nice to have someone care again." Evie smiled before giving Mal a hug. "I'm okay. Therapy was hard but I'm okay." Evie told her before releasing her.

"Do you want to talk about it while I start dinner?" Mal asked, walking into the kitchen.

"It wasn't anything crazy," Evie started. "Just the basic stuff like you said. We talked about the guy and..." Evie paused.

"And what?" Mal asked, turning from the stove.

"Um...you."

"Me?" Mal raised her eyebrow.

Evie really wasn't sure she wanted to have this conversation but the therapist did tell her she needed to express her feelings more. "About my feelings for you."

"Right." Mal said. She never knew what to say when Evie mentioned this. The blonde had had feelings for her friend for a long time but no one knew. Mal busied herself with the pasta she was making.

"The doctor told me I need to talk about what I'm feeling more and not just repress it." Evie told her, gauging Mal's facial expressions before continuing. "Mal..."

"Yeah?" Mal asked, not looking up.

"Can you honestly tell me that you have no feelings for me? Or that you didn't. Before." Evie asked, forcing the question out of her mouth. She needed to know.

"Evie..." Mal said quietly. She shook her head, "I don't date girls."

"What about Uma? You guys were together on the Isle for a while." Evie argued.

"That's not the same. You're talking about love. Uma and I...that was just sex." Mal told her, her eyes glued to the spoon she was stirring.

"So you really don't think you could ever love me? In that way? You never thought about me before?" Evie asked, her own eyes glued to the green ones watching the spoon spin.

Mal chewed on her lip. She didn't know what to do. She either admitted it or lied. She didn't even know how she felt about Evie anymore. They hadn't spoken in years before Evie showed up in her ER. "Evie," Mal said, finally looking up at the other woman. Mal stared into the dark brown eyes and she knew. In that instant she knew how she felt. As broken as their relationship currently was, she loved Evie. She always had but they couldn't be together.

It took all of Mal's strength to tear her eyes away from Evie's own. She couldn't say anything. She couldn't get her mouth to form words.

"Mal?" Evie questioned, working up all her nerve and walking over to the blonde, closing all the distance between them. Evie grabbed Mal's hand to stop her stirring. "Do you love me?" She asked again. Mal was acting so strange and Evie was trying so hard to not get her hopes up.

"I...l..." Mal stuttered. She couldn't say yes and she couldn't say no. Her whole body was frozen.

Evie leaned in even closer, and Mal could feel her breath against her lips. "Mal?"

Both girls leaned in, millimeters separating them now. "Oh god," Evie thought, excitement filling her brain. Mal's brain wasn't processing anything.

"Mama?" Macie said from the living room, snapping Mal out of the close encounter.

"Yeah?" Mal asked, tearing her eyes away from Evie's lips.

Evie cursed the toddler. What just happened? Did this mean Mal has feelings for her too?

"Hungry, please," Macie said.

"I know, I'm making spaghetti." Mal told her as she went back to her now limp pasta. She didn't know what to think about what almost happened.

"Mal?" Evie asked quietly.

"Evie," She said back. "The food will be ready soon. Can you get Macie all washed up and situated, please?"

Evie sighed and nodded, "Yeah." She made her way into the living room and picked the toddler up and carried her into the bathroom. Her mind was racing but she didn't know what to do or say to help the situation.

—-

Evie stood outside Mal's bedroom door wringing her hands. She started pacing once again. She had been standing out there for 30 minutes while Mal put Macie to bed. Her brain was going 100 miles an hour. What had happened if Macie hadn't interrupted them? Evie needed to know. Her body wasn't cooperating though. She was trying so hard to knock on the door, to go in and talk to the blonde.

"Come on, Evie," she whispered to herself. "Come on." She lifted up her arm and held her hand against the door, trying to force herself to knock. Her brain was yelling at her but her body wouldn't listen. Finally she knocked quietly. "Mal?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Yeah?" Mal answered.

"Can I come in?" Evie asked, nervous for the answer.

"Sure," Mal told her.

Evie opened the door and saw Mal laying on the bed, Macie asleep next to her. "What's up?" she asked.

Evie was taken back by how casual Mal was being. They had barely spoken as they ate dinner and now Mal was acting as though everything was normal.

"Um, do I need to whisper?" Evie asked, glancing at the sleeping toddler.

"Oh no, she's fine. She's pretty out of it." Mal told her, sitting up.

"Okay, good," Evie started. "Um, so I figured maybe we should talk about...you know...what happened." Evie finished quickly sitting down on the end of the bed.

Mal sighed, she knew this was coming, she just figured it would happen the next day. "There isn't anything to talk about, Evie."

"What would've happened if Macie hadn't interrupted us?" Evie asked, cutting straight to the point.

"We would've kissed," Mal answered bluntly.

"So does that mean you do have feelings for me?" Evie asked her.

"I love you, Evie. You were such a huge part of my life when we were younger. Of course I love you. When I saw you lying on the hospital gurney, almost dead, it broke my heart." Mal told her, tears in her eyes. "You broke me though. You actually broke me. I don't know if you understand that. You abandoned me. Just like my dad. Just like my mom. Just like everyone has. You were supposed to be the one person who would never leave me and you did. With no explanation."

"Mal..." Evie tried, feeling awful at the woman's words.

"I know you were raped, Evie. I know that. I know you weren't yourself and I get that. Now. I get that now. I didn't know any of this all those years ago when you left me. All I knew was that I clearly had done something to make yet another person leave me." Tears fell from Mal's eyes now. She really didn't want to tell Evie any of this but she knew she needed to. "When I tell you that I was broken, I'm so lucky I'm alive. I had no regard for my life. I needed anything to take the pain away from the only person I truly loved leaving me."

Evie was shocked by the words. She was the only person Mal truly loved?

Mal continued, "Having you back is great, Evie. I'm trying to get past everything, I'm trying to get back to the friendship we used to have. You and I can't be together and I'm sorry for that but we can't. No matter the feelings we have or had." Mal wiped the tears from her face. She was shaking. Breaking Evie's heart wasn't something she ever wanted to do. There was nothing more she wanted than to kiss Evie and let the world melt away but she knew better. "You have to focus on recovery and I have Macie to think about."

Evie nodded. She understood. It didn't stop her from wanting to kiss Mal and forget the world for a couple hours but she understood.

"I'm trying, Evie. I promise you I'm trying to get us back to where we used to be. It's just going to take time."

"I'm trying too. All I want is a fix. Instead, I'm going to lay here with you and Macie and try to relax. If that's okay with you." Evie told her.

"You can stay in here," Mal answered, scooting the toddler over a little so Evie could lay on the other side of her.

They were both quiet for a moment, separated by a sleeping little girl.

"Do you think, maybe, one day?" Evie asked, pushing her luck.

"Anything is possible." Mal replied.