Xiao stood for a moment, unseeing eyes staring at the void where daemons used to be, before he crashed to the ground. He didn't feel the pain in his knees at they crashed against the hard ground, didn't feel the warmth of the sun slowly diminishing until his whole body was trembling with cold. The only thing that passed through his mind, like the heavy rain clouds in the sky that you know are there, but don't grasp their significance,

The Yaksha's mask was on for too long.

...

By the time he came to, there were a bunch of hilichurls who thought it would be a good idea to set up camp around him. Though a few hilichurls would normally have been less than a piece of cake for him, in his current state, it took longer than expected. When he was done, both the little and large cuts he got from the daemons had reopened. His movement had caused the scabs which already took forever to form to split open again. His white shirt was stained red with his own blood.

It took a lot of willpower not to faint during his trip, dragging himself back to Wangshu Inn. As he approached the building he used a last bit of energy to hasten his return, already yearning to lie down in his tiny room in Wangshu Inn, on his small but comfortable bed, and sleep for as long as it took him to recover. But before he could make his way to his room, he saw a familiar figure wearing a brown overcoat with dragon embroidery standing at the front desk talking to Verr Goldet, apparently searching for someone.

"Is Xiao in?"

"I'm afraid he left last night sir. We haven't seen him since"

Xiao thought there could be no worse time for Zhongli to have come. He was tired enough as it was, and really didn't want to have to deal with him. Moreover, he hadn't changed his blood-soaked shirt yet, and red wasn't really his color, so the 'I decided to try a different style' excuse wouldn't really work. But despite everything, he tried to straighten his back, make his face look annoyed (instead of about to collapse) and forced himself to confront the Geo Archon.

"I'm here"

Zhongli turned around elegantly, before knitting his eyebrows together in a frown. He was evidently burning from curiosity, but it was not the best place to speak. He signaled for Xiao to follow him outside where there were less people before stating,

"I don't recall daemons possessing blood"

"I came across some hilichurls"

Xiao wanted to curse the concern in Zhongli's eyes.

"You would never allow your shirt to be touched by even a drop of blood unless you did not have the ability to prevent it'

Xiao also wanted to curse the gentleness with which Zhongli spoke to him, as though he were speaking to a child.

"I'm fine"

He pushed past the taller man , glad his back was turned, or else Zhongli might have seen the grimace as their shoulders bumped and hit one of his cuts. He tried to walk away with his usual speed and grace, but realised he couldn't and settled with a dignified walk, hoping his limp didn't show. He made it halfway across the terrace before he felt his knees buckle beneath him, and he was crouched on all fours, body tensed from the pain. He was panting, trying to regain his breath, but he couldn't and he toppled sideways, just as he heard footsteps running toward him.

He saw Zhongli's amber eyes filled with concern and fear, his beautiful face looking right at him, his full lips curved downwards in a frown, before his eyelids closed and he blacked out.

Fuck you. I love you.


Xiao knew he was in a fever. And he knew there was a person sitting next to his bed and that this person was Zhongli.

...

He dreamed.

Of mist enveloped skies and shapeless monsters in the dark.

Of a golden eyed hero with a beautiful face.

Zhongli used a cold towel to wipe the sweat that had formed on Xiao's brow.

Of lonely roads

And of ageless friends

He saw Xiao struggle in his sleep, and placed a soft kiss on his little Yaksha's forehead, his hand reassuringly holding Xiao's own fingers.

Of a secret love

And an unknowing guardian

...

Zhongli was very worried for Xiao. The younger adeptus had collapsed on the floor practically in front of any watching people, something he would never allow, and then blacked out almost before Zhongli would run the five steps towards him.

Moreover, he was practically burning himself dry, with the state of the fever right now. It was the third time Zhongli had had to change the sweat-soaked sheets, and the cuts and bruises on Xiao had started to fester. The skin around it grew blue, and the wounds themselves, though thankfully not bleeding, had started to form some very green-looking pus. This consolidated his theory that the wounds were from daemon bites, and though he knew Xiao's body was likely already used to the toxic infections that appeared afterwards, he noticed a very deep gash between the Yaksha's shoulder blades which worried him very much.

His worries had to be put aside when he heard Xiao struggling in his sleep. The younger adeptus had been fine one moment, then grimacing the next. Zhongli assumed it was from nightmares, which he knew were not uncommon for people in his line of work. Zhongli himself was often plagued by monsters that begrudged him sleep.

He looked at Xiao's flushed face and placed a kiss on his forehead. He thought he saw Xiao's expression soften a little, but he held his little adeptus' hand anyways, drawing circles on Xiao's wet knuckles with his thumb.

...

The first time Xiao woke to a state of half-consciousness was the second night of his fever. It had cooled down slightly that evening, and by the time night came, Xiao's skin had already turned from a bright crimson to a light pink.

Zhongli, upon seeing Xiao's half opened eyes, quickly made to stand up, saying a quick

"I'll get you some water."

But before he could leave, Xiao grabbed him by the wrist. Although being a much stronger grip than most sick people in bed can hope to achieve, it was far weaker than the death-grip Xiao had when he was healthy.

"Stay"

He pleaded, his eyes already drifting closed again.

Zhongli immediately sat back down, and, seeing Xiao's lips moving, leaned his face close so he could hear

"I love you"

Zhongli smiled. A gentle, worried, fatherly smile and whispered, "I love you too"

And though those were the words Xiao had dreamed of hearing for more than four thousand years, those four words broke his heart. Because he knew Zhongli loved him. But not in the way Xiao wanted to be loved.