"We should go for a picnic!" Evie exclaimed, walking out of the bathroom. Her hair was still soaked and her towel was snuggling wrapped around her. Mal's breath hitched a little but she was snapped out of it at Evie's words.

"A picnic?" Mal asked slowly.

"Yeah! You and me and Macie!" Evie grabbed the comb off the dressed and started making her way through her blue locks.

"A picnic?" Mal repeated again, watching Evie's movements to see if she was joking.

"Oh come on. It'll be fun." Evie smiled.

"Evie, the last time I had a picnic, I ran away to the Isle." Mal reminded her.

"That was like 6 years ago." Evie rolled her eyes. "Please? I could use the time with just you guys. I keep having these nightmares and I'm trying to stay distracted."

Mal gave in a nodded, "okay."

Evie clapped and stood up quickly. "Yes! I'll do everything. I'll pack a lunch and I'm so excited!" Evie walked over to Mal and leaned in close, "I'll even pack strawberries." Evie winked before turning around and heading back into the bathroom.

Mal took a deep breath before following her. "You can't pack strawberries if my kid is going, E."

Evie feigned innocence, "Why?"

Mal pursed her lips, "you know why."

Evie just shook her head, a devious sparkle in her eye.

"You're going to make me say it, aren't you?" Mal asked.

Evie grinned and nodded.

"Strawberries turn me on and you know it." Mal said quietly, slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, I know." Evie leaned over and kissed Mal on the cheek. "I'm just messing with you. No strawberries."

Both girls were still trying to take their relationship from friends to more than and it was hard. They didn't know where the line was and they were both so nervous and awkward about anything relating to sex. Neither had been pushing for it because neither of them knew how. Sexual tension would build up but they didn't know how to initiate it without it being awkward.

Evie was terrified of having sex with Mal, no matter how much she craved it. She had never slept with a girl for one. She wasn't even sure what to do. Secondly, she had never had consensual sex that wasn't fueled by drugs. Evie had slept with a lot of men but it was always so she could get something. She needed a place to crash, she would give a blow job. She needed some drugs but had no money, her first answer was sex. She had never enjoyed it. Not once. Evie wasn't entirely sure if that was because she was high and doing it out of necessity or because she really wasn't into guys. Her greatest fear was having sex sober though. Would she be able to be touched without flashbacks and panic attacks?

Mal's experience with sex was far larger than Evie's. Even before she was doing drugs, she slept with a lot of people on the isle. She knew what she was doing and she was good at it too. That's what made sleeping with Evie more difficult. Her emotions were at play instead of just being horny. Mal was terrified of pushing Evie too far. She couldn't imagine that anyone who had been raped so violently would be okay with being touched like that.

"No, strawberries," Mal smiled again. "Finish getting ready, okay? I'll get Macie dressed." She leaned over and captured Evie's lips with her own before resting her forehead on the other. "One day, okay?"

Evie nodded, "One day." She knew exactly what Mal meant by it and it made me feel better to know that Mal wasn't pushing her or pressuring her. She was working on her confidence but it was hard with everything else going on in her brain.

—-

"I'm so excited!" Evie said as they walked along the enchanted lake, making their way to the ruins where Mal used to picnic with Ben.

Mal laughed as they walked. It was nice to see the old Evie coming back. She was still way too thing and her eyes hadn't fully returned to the sparkle they always had but she was making progress.

Macie pulled on their arms as she tried to get them to move faster across the bridge.

"Slow down, kid, were coming," Mal laughed. "It's just over there." Mal pointed.

"Excellent," Evie said, quickening her speed. She and Macie reached it first and Evie began setting up her picnic basket.

"Macie, stay away from the edge," Mal warned. Macie was walking around but she didn't always have the best balance. The last thing they needed was a soaking wet toddler. "This looks great, E. Thank you."

"I just wanted a family day out," Evie admitted, finishing her setup.

"Family?" Mal asked.

Evie froze. "I didn't mean... I mean you and I aren't...And Macie isn't my...I mean...I'm sorry," Evie finished, looking down at her hands.

Mal couldn't help smile at the flustered girl. It was stuff like this that made Mal know just how in love she was. Not that she was ready to admit that but it was true. She had been head over heels for years. "I like it, Evie. You and I have always been family, now we are just a different kind."

Evie blushed before leaning over to kiss Mal. She could've kissed her all day but pulled away. She left her eyes closed for a moment, a smile on her face, "mmmm."

"Shut up," Mal laughed, teasingly pushing her away. "Mace, come eat baby."

Macie looked at her mom before turning around and continuing what she was doing before.

"Macie," Evie warned.

Macie looked up at Evie and squinted her eyes before making her way over to the blanket, plopping herself down next to Evie.

"Seriously, why does she listen to you and not me?" Mal asked. While she thought it was cute, it kind of bothered her. Macie had always listened fairly well but with Evie around, she never listened to her anymore.

"I'm new and shiny. It'll wear off. I promise." Evie promised her. "You're her mom, not me. I'm more like fun Aunt Blue."

"You're more than that, E." Mal took a bite of the sandwich Evie made her. "I'm really happy we are together and I want you to know that I...I trust you." Mal stuttered.

Evie half smiled, not believing a word coming out of the blondes mouth. "That's sweet, M but I know you need more time. It's okay. I swear." Evie stood up and made her way to wear Mal was sitting, Macie watching her movements. Evie sat down next to Mal and grabbed her hand, leaning her head on Mal's shoulder. "You and Macie are what I want. I'm not fucking that up, okay? I know you need more time before I can be alone with her. I need to prove to you that I can be more than just a drug addict."

"I admire you." Mal said quietly. She moved and made Evie lift her head. The shorter girl leaned over and captured Evie's lips once again, bringing her hand up to the rosy cheek in front of her. This kiss was deeper than the first. Mal moaned the smallest sound, Evie just barely hearing it. They let themselves enjoy the feeling for a little while before Mal pulled away, panting slightly at the feeling. "We have to stop."

"Why?" Evie asked, eyes still closed, completely lost in Mal.

Mal laughed, "Macie."

Both girls looked over at the toddler who had managed to get yoghurt all over her face and the blanket.

"Right," Evie laughed. "I got it." She stood up and went back to her originally space, grabbed a napkin and started cleaning up the mess. Evie stopped when she heard a small noise. She glanced up and saw that Mal had heard it to. "What is that?"

Mal looked over at the bushes and saw a teeny tiny little face looking over at them. "Oh my gosh. What is that?"

Evie stood up and walked over. "Oh," she squealed, "it's a kitten!" She scooped up the tiny being. It barely fit in her hands. "Where's your mom, little guy!" She glanced around and saw no other sign of movement. Evie carried her new friend back to Mal and Macie.

"Evie, put it back," Mal demanded.

"No way, it's so tiny! We can't just leave it here." Evie showed the kitten to Macie who was freaking out in excitement.

"Macie, don't touch it." Mal stood up to stop her.

"Mal, calm down. It's just a kitten." Evie laughed. She held up up for Mal to get a closer to look. "Look at that face."

"No way, Evie. I know what you're thinking and no." Mal scrunched her nose up. She wasn't the biggest fan of animals.

"Baby, please," Evie pouted, holding the kitten up to her face.

Mal rolled her eyes, "Fine but it's your responsibility. You can take it to the vet tomorrow."

"Yes!" Evie cheered. Before giving Mal a quick kiss. Mal couldn't help but smile at the excitement.

—-

"Well look what the cat dragged in," Evie's looked up, immediately recognizing that voice.

"Actually, I'm the one that brought the cat in," Evie grinned, getting up and pulling the blonde haired boy into a hug. "Hi, Carlos." She let him go, "or should I saw Dr. de Vil?"

"Not quite," Carlos laughed. "I have a couple years left. I think I'll stick to Carlos then anyway."

"I know that feeling," Evie laughed. "How are you? How have you been?"

"Good, good. Just trying to make it through vet school. I'm doing my internship right now, clearly. How are you? You look good."

"Well that's a lie," Evie told him, knowing full well she didn't look good at all. "I'm okay though. One day at a time and all that."

"Come on back and we will look at that little one." Carlos told her, directing her to the exam room.

Evie picked up the small carrier and followed him.

"So where have you been? I heard rumors but I didn't know what to believe." Carlos asked her. He carefully took the small kitten out and started the exam.

"I'm guessing the rumors you heard are probably the truth. Drugs, sex, overdose." Evie rambled.

"Those are the ones," Carlos smiled at her. "Are you doing okay?"

Evie nodded, "I'm trying."

"That's good, I'm glad." Carlos listened to the kittens heart for a moment and then checked the gums. "Well this little guy seems pretty healthy. Does he have a name yet?"

"Not really. Macie wants to name him Meeko but she calls me blue so she doesn't really get a say." Evie laughed.

"Macie? Is that your daughter?" Carlos asked.

"Oh no," Evie stuttered, "I mean no. Kind of. I don't know how to answer that. She's Mal's daughter."

"Mal has a daughter? Seriously?" Carlos asked, shock covering his face.

Evie helped put the kitten into the carrier. "She does. Weird right?"

"I'm just glad you 2 are still friends. I heard a few rumors about her too." Carlos sat down in the chair next to Evie's.

"Yeah, those ones are probably true too. We've had a rough few years." Evie admitted.

"At least you guys were together," Carlos shrugged.

"Not so much. It's actually only been a couple months since we came back into each other's lives."

Carlos scrunched up his face, "What happened? You two were always together. Practically in love."

"Yeah, that's a long story for another time." Evie smirked. "Any word from Jay? Do you guys still see each other?"

Carlos nodded, "We do. Not everyday but we get together most Saturdays."

Evie felt a small pang of sadness knowing that Carlos and Jay has stayed friends while her and Mal had fallen apart. "That's really great. The four of us should have dinner or something. I'm sure Mal misses you guys too."

"I'd really like that." Carlos smiled.

"I should get going," Evie picked up the carrier, "Mal should be home by now."

Carlos stopped and looked at her, "you and Mal live together? Did you two finally get together?"

Evie just grinned in response.

"It's about time!"

Evie turned brick red at his words, "shut up! I have to get home. I'll text you with plans, okay?" Evie laughed as she walked out of the room and headed home.

—-

"Hey, M," Evie walked into the apartment. "Kitty is doing excellent!"

"Great," Mal said sarcastically.

"Oh hush. You love him." Evie walked over to Mal and wrapped her arms around her. "Hi," she leaned down and kissed Mal for a moment before pulled away. "Where's Macie?"

"Napping," Mal answered as Evie grabbed a water from the fridge.

"Oh, that's good." Evie told her. "Can we talk for a minute then? About us?"

Mal scrunched up her face in confusion, "of course. Is everything okay?"

Evie led Mal over to the couch. "Um...I wanted to talk about us...you know...being physical and stuff," Evie blushed but knew they needed to have this conversation.

"Oh, right," Mal replied. She knew they needed to talk about it but she was hoping it would be a distant conversation.

"I love kissing you, M. A lot. It's all I've wanted since I was 15." Evie grabbed Mal's hand, rubbing circles with her thumb, "I'm scared to go further. I'm scared to cross that line of friendship vs being a couple."

Mal listened, feeling the same but wanting to give Evie the chance to speak.

"I want to, so badly. I want to be with you. I want to experience those things with you. Things I've never experienced. Especially sober. And it terrifies me. I'm so torn between wanting to kiss you forever and being so afraid to be touched." Evie paused for a moment to look into the bright green eyes she loved, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. Does that make any sense?"

"I want to be with you, Evie. It's been so long since I've had sex and trust me, I want to be with you." Mal started, she wasn't the best at these conversations and she desperately didn't want to push her too far. "I will not do anything you're not ready for, E. Ever. But just know that when you're ready, I'm ready. We are past the friend zone now. My feelings for you are past that. They have been for years."

Evie blushed. She never really felt wanted. To hear the woman she had wanted to be with for years, actually wanting her was incredible. "I've never been with a girl."

"That's okay, Evie." Mal tried to reassure her.

Evie chewed on her lip. Her therapist had told her she needed to talk about her feelings more but it was hard.

"Macie will be asleep for the next couple hours."

"Is that so?" Evie asked, smiling at the mischievous grin that had appeared on Mal's face.

"It is. So you know, we could always practice crossing that line." Mal gently pushed Evie back until she was laying down on the couch, and hovered over her.

Evie nodded slowly, answering the question her girlfriend didn't ask.

Mal lowered herself the rest of the way down. Evie was surprised at how light she was. It was a nice feeling. Evie ran her fingers up and down Mal's sides as Mal brought their lips together. The girls moved in unison, hands wandering up and down, teeth and tongues dueling for dominance. Mal shifted her focus to Evie's neck, nipping sucking as she moved along, causing Evie to pant and moan.

Mal sat up for a moment, ignoring Evie's whimper. She reached down and grabbed at the hem of Evie's shirt and began lifting it up. She watched Evie's eyes for any sign of disapproval but none came. Once the shirt was over the mess of blue hair, Mal palmed Evie's breast's in her hand, squeezing and kneading and teasing. She grinned when Evie started squirming beneath her, clearly trying to get some sort of friction.

Evie squirmed and squirmed but no luck. Mal's hands were driving her crazy. She reached up and grabbed the back of Mal's neck, forcing her back down so their lips could meet again. The sensations rushing through Evie's body were completely new and she never wanted them to stop. Mal's hands continued to roam along her body, every touch setting her skin on fire. Evie was completely lost in her.

Mal reached down and gently ran her fingers under the waistband of Evie jeans. She felt the girl beneath her tense at the touch so she stopped. She looked up at the chocolate eyes and saw fear where pleasure was moments before. Mal readjusted herself so they were laying side by side and pulled Evie in close, seconds before the taller girl broke down. "You're okay, E."

Evie nodded and sobs ripped through her. She felt so broken. Enjoyment ruined by flashbacks. She knew it was Mal on top of her but as soon as she touched her too far down, all she could see was that night. Evie gripped onto Mal's shirt, trying to keep herself grounded as she cried.

"I'm sorry, baby," Mal whispered. Evie felt so guilty. Mal hadn't done anything wrong. She was just broken. Completely broken.

"I want you, Mal." Evie told her.

"I know, E. It's okay." Mal reassured her. "I'm not going anywhere."