Author's Note:
Hello readers! Thanks for the positive feedback on the last chapter. I will also probably back-update the previous "after," chapters to make it more clear on the timeline. The story started with Meredith in Derek's trailer and then they were in Meredith's house still arguing before Mer kicked Der out. There was a missed scene about that transition and I will write that in soon! Thanks for your patience and thanks for your honest feedback.
bobbiejelly
Lost & Found
Meredith Grey isn't the only one who lost her panties the night of the hospital prom. This is the story of when Derek Shepherd finds Addison Montgomery's panties in Meredith's prom dress.
Chapter 15: After (8)
MEREDITH
"So you love her, your kisses with her have a spark in them, and you just left your boyfriend who happens to be her husband, and yet, you're still not with Addison?" Callie questions.
"She said no to me!" I yelp at Callie.
"You said she felt the spark, too, though, right?" Says Callie.
"She did! She said these beautiful things and metaphors about how she felt when she kissed me and then she said no to dating me and I'm heartbroken!" I finally grunt.
"Did she say why?" Callie asks me.
"She did, but that's between just Addison and me," I respond.
"Fair enough," offers Callie.
"I just hate that she's lonely. She said I could date Derek while her divorce ws being finalized because she's drawn up the papers and Derek said that he'd sign them so she said there's no point in me waiting if I wanted him. Addison practically asked me to date Derek or try to because she didn't want me to be lonely. But all I can think about is how SHE is lonely and how I'm thinking about her when I'm with him and I shouldn't be. So I'm almost relieved that he'd found her panties in my dress because now it's over with Derek and I and I can just find myself again," I cry out.
"So wait, this is Addison who once called you out for screwing her husband, and then you screwed her husband again, and then you screwed her, and then she turned you down and offered for her to screw her husband all over again but with her blessing this time?" Callie tries to figure it all out.
"Yes. All of that is correct. All the chronological order," I say to her.
"That's really-" I can tell Callie's trying not to say 'fucked up,' but her face says it for her.
"What about Finn?" Callie asks me.
"I didn't want to drag kind and gentle Finn into this. I talked to him after prom and I told him I was no good for him. I think he's still not over his wife that died though anyway," I say.
"Did Addison tell you 'never?' or just no for now?" Callie asks me tenderly.
"She said 'no for now,' you're right," I tell Callie.
"Did she say when she would be ready?" Asks Callie.
"Not really," I sigh, because she didn't.
"Do you think she would be now?" Callie asks me.
"I have no idea," I say.
"Do you think she would be open to being your friend, now that you've left her husband?" Callie asks me in utter precision.
"Maybe. Or at least I hope so. We agreed not to work together this past week because it would be too complicated. But I just miss being around her. Even before we had sex, Addison would talk to me sometimes and we'd work together and it was nice. Now we don't see each other and I feel like I'm aching all the time. I just want to see her!" I shout.
"Have you considered she might be missing you, too?" Callie asks me.
"I try not to hope too hard," I say honestly.
"Do you want to call her?" Callie offers.
"Wait, now? Would you be with me? Or not?" I ask her.
"Whatever would make you feel more comfortable," says Callie.
"Okay. I guess, I mean you can stay if you want to," I say nervously.
Callie has Addison's number because she and Addison are regular friends which I am very grateful for.
I don't want her to be always in the middle of us two, but right now I need someone to talk to and Callie is here and she's really nice.
And now the thought of calling Addison is in my head and I can't get it out of my head.
"Okay, can we call her?" I ask Callie.
"Sure," she says, and Callie calls up Addison's number and passes me her phone.
Addison picks up on the very first ring.
"Hey Addison," I say a bit formally.
"Meredith!" Addison exclaims and I realize her caller ID probably said 'Callie,'.
"Yeah, I'm with Callie, this is her phone," I offer.
"Ah, I see. What's uh, what's up?" Addison asks awkwardly, and I realize that Addison has no idea how much I've shared of what happened with Callie.
"I left Derek," I say.
"Oh," says Addison, and I swear I'm trying not to hold onto hope that her breath caught too and she seemed happy about it.
"Thanks for letting me try to date him. It just didn't work out," I tell her.
"You're welcome. It was the least I could do," says Addison.
"What the hell do you mean!? How could you be the one to owe me when you're the one who's always lost out here!?" I tell her.
"Do you want me to go?" Asks Callie, and at that point, I remember she's there.
"Could you? I think we might need a minute," I say and Callie nods in understanding.
"Meredith, you gave me so much that night. You told and gave me everything that I needed from you. I felt I had taken advantage of you so I pulled away," says Addison.
"Why would you be the one taking advantage?" I ask her, rather shocked.
"You're still an intern and I'm an attending and I'm your teacher and you're my student and I was still very much married and I made you into an adulterous whore!" Says Addison.
"I was doing all of those things with Derek before you," I point out to her.
"That doesn't make it right," says Addison to me.
"Why are you like this? You're the one who always steps aside for people and you never get the good part," I tell her, and then I realize I'm implying that I'm the 'good part,' and I try to take it back but she answers over me.
"I didn't step aside. That's the fucking problem. I should have stepped aside and been a better person long ago when I met you. Derek loved you. He didn't love me anymore. I cheated on him with Mark. I should have left him so he could have you fully!" Addison screeches.
"Well you did this time, but it didn't work out between Derek and I anyway, so that's alright. You tried Addison, you tried to be the martyr, and I humored you, and Derek and I tried and it didn't work out!" I tell her.
"Why though? What happened? He was so in love with you!" Says Addison.
"Derek knows about us. That's what happened. It didn't work out because of how Derek found out," I finally offer.
"But how did Derek ever find out? Did you tell him because I didn't tell him!?" Says Addison.
"Addison, I don't want you to blame yourself for this because it was on me. Derek found your panties in my prom dress pocket and he knew them as your's. He just found them and I didn't lie to him. I just told him the truth and I left him and he left me and he's leaving you and I guess you're leaving him and we're just three of us drifting further away," I offer her.
"Derek found my underwear in your-" Addison cuts herself off.
"He did," I confirm.
"Derek knows," says Addison.
"He does," I say back.
I'll never forget the words that Addison Montgomery spoke to me next.
****** END OF CHAPTER 15
Author's Note:
Has anyone ever told you that bobbiejelly likes cliffhangers?
Maybe I did once upon a time?
MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH.
Any guesses as to what Addison said to Meredith?
Let me know in the comments!
bobbiejelly
Feel free to check out these while you wait for more of this story:
Falling Apart, Barely Breathing
Soothe
Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)
See you soon in the comments,
bobbiejelly