Author's Note:

Welcome back folks. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter about the soft and soothing sex.

Here's some more serious stuff. I won't spoiler it with warning tags because we've all watched the show I reckon.

I hope you enjoy how this is coming together because I really am!

bobbiejelly


Lost & Found


Meredith Grey isn't the only one who lost her panties the night of the hospital prom. This is the story of when Derek Shepherd finds Addison Montgomery's panties in Meredith's prom dress.


Chapter 19: After (10)


MEREDITH

Addison Forbes Montgomery knocks on the door and then rings the doorbell but I don't need either sound to let me know that she's here.

Callie's in the kitchen again fixing up some food for her (our friend- but when it's said like that is sounds kinda dirty so really, her friend and my- well, friend but also more-than-friend-but-less-than-anything-else-for-right-now-because-she's-still-unfortunately-married..).

Callie was in the kitchen and I couldn't stop thinking about Addison so I stayed by my front door and stalked it until I saw a familiar car pull up in the driveway and I waited until she knocked and rang the doorbell to open the front door right away and pull her into a crushing hug.

"ADDISON!" I can't help but call out.

"MEREDITH!" Addison calls out to me back.

We're hugging each other like crazy in the damn door frame because I can't wait any longer- because she's finally here and now she's here in my arms once again.

"It's so good to see you," says Addison, and suddenly, I realize she might have been crying because her face is all puffy and her voice is breaking a bit.

"It's good to see you too, are you okay?" I ask Addison gently.

"Yeah," Addison says weakly, but I can tell there's more to it than that.

"Do you want to come to sit?" I offer.

Addison nods and I lead her to the couch and Callie brings us a plate of chilaquiles and a plate that has both cookies and Izzie's muffins on it.

"Do you want some tea?" Callie offers, and I've decided she can definitely be a part of our close circle of friends now because she totally deserves it.

"Yeah," I say. Addison looks up a bit shyly but Callie waves and says it's no biggie. "You like herbal tea right?" Callie asks Addison, who nods.

I get jealous for a second because Callie knows what tea Addison likes, but then I realize it's just because they were friends before we were friends because Callie's a senior resident and Addison's an attending. And also I was fucking her husband so I get she didn't really befriend me at first…

"Hey, what's with the face?" Addison asks me teasingly as she sees me scowl into the air.

"I got jealous Callie knew what kind of tea to make you," I admit honestly.

I know if we're going to have any shot at a future here together, that we have to be honest with each other. So I'm trying to be an example and telling Addison exactly how I feel.

"Oh, that's cute," says Addison, her eyes crinkling at the edges.

"It's a bit problematic but I guess I get really possessive," I shrug.

"What is it going to look like when you have every right to be possessive over me?" Asks Addison.

My heart's swelling now because she just implied that she's going to make me hers and I just cannot wait.

"Probably more of the same. I'll try not to scowl at all your friends though," I say shyly.

"Thank you Meredith. I know it's messed up but I think a part of me likes that you'd fight for me," offers Addison.

"Of course I would," I say easily. I think everyone would fight over her. I mean, people already have. I laugh aloud as I think about this.

"People kinda fought over you before," I laugh.

"Wait what?" Addison questions, and it looks like she really doesn't know the effect she has on many people.

"You had Derek and Mark fighting over you at the end of your time in New York?" I say, but then I trail off because I might be getting the story wrong.

"Oh. That's not how I see it," says Addison.

"How do you see it?" I ask her, because I really do want to know.

"The way I see it, is that Derek had resigned himself to be most in love with his work and his career and he didn't have time for me. I felt old and used up and lonely. And Mark's had an off-and-on thing for me for a long time. In between people he'd be seeing he would hit on me despite my being married to his best friend. And Mark would just spend so much time with Derek and those two were so close the three of us would end up hanging out together a lot. Sometimes I felt like the third wheel of their 'relationship,' you know? I felt like I was dating both of them even though I was only married to Derek," Addison begins.

I try not to show any revealing emotion at the part where Addison talked about Derek and Mark.

That was Derek and Mark's story to tell her and even if I love Addison I still need to keep Derek's promise to him. I need her to know I'm someone loyal about promises, even though Derek and I are not really friends with each other right now, and he's my ex-boyfriend and soon to be Addison's ex-husband, he still deserves our respect. And besides, me telling Addison about Derek and Mark would just hurt her right now. And I don't ever want to hurt Addison again.

"Well, anyway, at the back end of our marriage, I was so alone and Mark was always around. And so one day when he offered to make me feel better and kiss me and touch me, I let him. And it helped for a little while because I'd been so untouched for so long. It became a thing, but Mark, in the end… Anyway, that was a whole other mess," says Addison.

Addison breaks into tears again and I hold her close to my chest.

Addison curls into me and sobs and I just stay there soothing her hair and her face.

She lets go, and I love the way she's just being herself right now. I love that she feels comfortable falling apart in my arms.

Callie comes back with two tea mugs and hesitates before she sits down on the nearby armchair.

"Do you want me to stay? Or I can go for a walk?" Callie offers us both.

"Addison?" I ask her, because I want her to feel it's her choice.

"Callie can stay. We're friends. You and I are friends. I know it's different kinds of friends but you're still both my close friends and I want you both here if that's okay," Addison offers, and I nod to comply.

It's what Addison wants, and it's what's probably best for us also.

When Addison is hurting like this, all I want to do is kiss her to make her feel better. And I know that I can't because Addison wants us to wait. So it's probably best we're not all alone so the temptation does not get away from me.

Addison starts to continue her story and I realize that Callie might have heard of some of this before. I don't feel angry or jealous as before though. I just want to hear her keep talking because it seems to help soothe her to get the words off of her chest.

"In New York, I feel I need to tell you this Meredith. You need to know the whole truth. Mark and I stayed together for two months after Derek caught us the first time together. Derek went to Seattle and he must have met you, then. But I was back in New York still with Mark and we gave it a shot as a 'couple,' or as much as we could without me being actually divorced. Mark understood though, but he's also Mark. We slept together a few times and it was fine and all. But then one day I started to be sick all the time and I realized-" Addison's voice breaks off again and she totally loses it. Addison starts bawling into my chest and I keep holding her into my arms…

"It's okay, Addison. You're okay. It's all going to be okay," I say to her in a whisper, and I can feel Addison nodding even as she has her head buried into my shirt.

"Mm," says Addison, confirming this as she keeps on crying and it takes a while for her to start speaking again.

"After a month-and-a-half, I knew it was no fluke. I'm an OB-GYN. I know the signs. And I had the signs. And I ran my own blood at work under a pseudonym. I was pregnant. And it wasn't Derek's. It was Mark's. I was having a baby and I was freaking out. I didn't know if I didn't want it because it was Mark's and not Derek's or I didn't want a baby at the time or I have no fucking clue. But I ended it. And I told Mark. And I never told Derek. He probably found out anyhow though, from Mark," Addison finally yelps as she recounts her story.

I take some time to process this as I keep running my hands through her hair. Addison stiffens then relaxes when she realizes I have not disappeared on her already.

"I'm here," I tell her. "I'm listening," I reassure her. "I'm still here. I'll always be here, Addison. I'll be here," I tell her. And I mean that more than anything.

I guess I'm surprised at her story about all of this but on the other hand, I'm not really shocked. Addison is a little older than me and she's been married for a decade. It's not surprising that she's fallen pregnant at some point, and if it happened while she was sleeping with Mark, it's just a fluke of nature and not a big deal. She didn't want a kid, or his kid, or a kid at the time and that's purely her body and her choice and I don't judge her for that in the slightest.

"Do you hate me, Meredith?" Addison asks genuinely.

"No, I don't hate you, Addison. Do you hate me?" I ask her.

"I don't hate you, Meredith," says Addison.

"I should have-" Addison's voice starts to break before she explains all of her regrets and I squeeze her palm into my hand and she flips her hand to hold onto mine.

"A lot of things. I know. Me too, a lot of things. But that's all the past, and it's okay to reflect on the past but we can't change that now. I know you now and I know more of your story and I still want to be your friend. And I still want to be more than your friend. And I still want to be with you when you're ready to have me like that," I offer because I need her to know how much it's true.

"You still want me after all of that?" Says Addison.

"I still want you the same," I tell her, brushing a hair off of her face.

Callie coughs and I remember we're not alone here. It's not a bad thing though. I'm glad Addison's friend and my friend got to hear this part of her story in the way that she wanted to tell it.

"Callie?" Asks Addison, showing she still needs to hear her friend's reflection on this, also.

"I always wondered why things didn't work out with you and Mark, and I'm not judging you at all. I'm a bit surprised but that's just because I'm surprised I didn't know about this, but I get why it's something you might not feel comfortable sharing normally," offers Callie.

"You know, for what it's worth, I think Mark could have made a decent father," I offer.

"I think Mark would make a great father," says Callie with a shrug.

"Wait, you're not going to go run off and have a baby with him are you?" Asks Addison with a laugh.

"I have George, remember?" Says Callie with a laugh.

"Right. See, I will just tell you as your friend that I do not recommend having an adulterous love-child with Mark Sloan. Or in general to have affairs against your partner. It's actually awful," says Addison.

"I swear to God, cross my heart, that I'll do my very best not to have affairs and/or to have an adulterous love-child with Mark Sloan," says Callie.

"Okay, good. Not because I don't like you or Mark. Actually I think you two could make pretty babies together now that I think about it. But you're with George now and Mark actually cheated on me in New York so I just want to give you a heads up about that," Addison says aloud, mostly to Callie.

"Wait, Mark cheated on YOU? What the hell?" I exclaim.

"Yeah, we were together-but-not in New York and then I caught him sleeping with some random girl in my bed. That's when I started calling Derek all the time and I eventually just followed him to Seattle when Richard offered me the TTTS case, and that's when I met you, and the rest is history. But that's why I don't want to start something with you before I'm actually single because it worked out terribly the last time and it wasn't really fair for Mark or I," offers Addison.

"I understand, and I'm glad we can try to make things work better and learn from the past. I'm also really sorry about the cheating," I tell her. I really am. Just because she cheated on Derek with Mark it doesn't mean she deserves the karma of Mark cheating on her with some random person. Plus Derek and Mark were apparently sexing each other up too so that just makes it all worse for Addison.

"Thanks, Grey," says Addison.

"You can call me 'Meredith,' y'know," I say teasingly.

"Right, Old habits. Plus it's shorter," says Addison with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess 'Montgomery,' is a lot of syllables. I could call you 'Forbes,' though I guess," I offer.

"I'm not sure anyone's called me that. But I sound like a magazine when you say it like that," Addison laughs.

"I wanna be on the cover of 'Forbes,' magazine, smiling next to Oprah and the Queen,' I start to sing the words to 'Billionaire,' that contain these words and it makes Addison laugh even harder.

"I'm not even sure that that would be as a double-entendre," Callie laughs and Addison and I snap back to her and then we look at each other and we all laugh again.

"Okay, I'm gonna call you 'Forbes,' from now on. Alright?" I ask Addison.

"Sure, Grey," Addison laughs.

"Is Derek gonna be mad we start dating after your divorce?" I ask Addison genuinely.

"He'd be kind of a hypocrite if he's mad about me wanting to date you, now wouldn't he?" Addison laughs.

"If he's angry, I'll punch him out for you. I'm an ortho-doc. I know where it hurts in the bones!" Callie offers.

"Thanks, Callie," says Addison.

"Okay, I shouldn't hope he'll be mad but that sounds really funny," I laugh.

"It kinda does," says Addison.

"You're welcome," says Callie.

And we all just keep laughing our minds off as we sip our tea and eat cookies and more and more of Izzie's procrasti-baked muffins.


****** END OF CHAPTER 19


Author's Note:

Hope you enjoyed this! I wanted to show a friendship here with Callie for the girls. And I wanted to show how Addison is honest and upfront about her history with Mark which Meredith never really got to know directly on the show. Plus the trope of Mark and Derek together because I just can't help myself.

Thanks for your feedback on the slow sensual sex on the last one!

And let me know what you think of this one. Sometimes the chapter lengths vary, but I do want to give about equal airtime to both characters/sections eventually :).

bobbiejelly


Feel free to check out these while you wait for more of this story:

Falling Apart, Barely Breathing

Soothe

Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

See you soon in the comments,

bobbiejelly