Author's Note:

This is the highest point of Explicit!

Pun not intended - eek.

(Erm, you know what? Never mind. Just here is the chapter…)

bobbiejelly


Lost & Found


Meredith Grey isn't the only one who lost her panties the night of the hospital prom. This is the story of when Derek Shepherd finds Addison Montgomery's panties in Meredith's prom dress.


Chapter 20: Before (10)


ADDISON

There's something about sleeping with women that's more intimate than with men. For me, at least. In my own humble opinion.

I think it's about how much time there is in the world; there's no limit. There's no rush. There's no pressure to finish before your partner.

I realize this as I'm being given sex by a woman for the first time in over a decade. It's not like I've never done this before. It's not like she's never done this before because she definitely has based on all of her skills that are driving me completely crazy now.

There's just so much time.

And Meredith is certainly taking all the time in the world and I can't get enough of everything she's doing to my gentle body and my even tenderer soul.

"How are you feeling?" Meredith asks me, her palm still rubbing me softly and her lips still kissing down my body gently.

"I'mfeelingreallygood," I mumble all as one word.

"Huh?" Says Meredith, pulling back for a second which makes me whimper and narrow my eyes at her by accident.

"Hey!" I say to her. "That was really good!" I whine a bit to get her to go back to what she was just doing.

"Oh! Okay. Yeah, I'll keep going now! I just wanted to check in with you," Meredith smiles sweetly.

"Thanks. I'm great. Please don't stop- it just feels so good please just don't stop!" I babble.

"Mmhmm," Meredith hums in response as she kisses down my abdomen and drags her tongue over my rippling stomach muscles.

"God, you're so fit. You're athletic, seriously," says Meredith.

"I hardly run anymore in this weather," I laugh. "I used to jog in New York," I explain. As I giggle my abs tense up and Meredith can't help but run her spare hand over them in appreciation.

I'd half-forgotten about the jogging and I guess I let myself go. I half-fantasized about getting really really really fat to see if either Mark or Derek would notice at all, but that never happened because I literally didn't have enough time to eat that much between surgeries.

Not that that would have been a healthy coping mechanism or way of seeking the intimacy that I needed. God, I'm 39 and still so many terrible ideas. At least that one never actually panned out though. And now I'm glad that I never went through with anything unhealthy like that because the way Meredith is grazing her fingernails over me I can tell she just wants me to feel good in my skin.

"Sometimes I'm a bit self-conscious about how I look," I sigh.

"Mm, yeah. So am I. so are we all. And I guess that's how it goes. If you could see your body the way I could see it though, gosh. I just want to admire it all night and all day long," Meredith sighs.

"Erm, Meredith erm, not that I don't love you admiring me 'all night long,' here, but I'm going to explode if you don't fuck me here," I pant out.

Meredith has mostly let her hand rest at my core but she's giggling and it shifts her hand over my clit and every time she hits the right spot I feel like I'm about to start coming.

"Right! I'm getting there," Meredith smirks and I can tell she's loving all of this teasing.

"You realize I'm going to tease you right back, huh?" I raise my eyebrows at her.

"Yeah," says Meredith with a smile. "I bet you're gonna really love that," Meredith chuckles.

"I am. I'm going to take my damn time because you're taking your damn time and goddamnit Grey I seriously need you to start screwing me here!" I practically start yelling and Meredith just keeps smirking and it's sexy and frustrating as hell.

"Did I make you feel beautiful?" Meredith asks me.

"Uh-huh. I'm going to say anything to get you to stick your fingers in me at this point," I deadpan.

"But I want you to believe that you're beautiful!" Says Meredith.

"You know what, when you look at me like that, I really do," I open my eyes and I look up into her blue ones and I can tell she knows I'm being really sincere.

"I feel beautiful when you look at me, too," says Meredith.

And with that, Meredith slides one finger, past my entrance, and into me, gently.

"Ooh, God," I moan as my head is thrown back onto the pillow and my eyes squeeze shut once more.

Meredith finds my spot right away. It takes her less than four seconds to find it. And when she circles it with her finger I clench reflexively onto her digit.

"That's it. Oh, that's it. That's it-" I babble and Meredith gains the confidence to slide another finger in.

I love feeling a little full there, and Meredith circles her fingers around my opening to make me feel fuller. She alternates between this and sliding curved fingers up to hit my spot and I take it all in because it's heavenly.

Meredith's thumb brushes my clit once and I swear and thrash about on the bed in ecstasy. "Meredith if you do that I'm gonna come, I'm gonna-" I try to explain it but everything is starting to get fuzzy and Meredith hasn't even worked her way down my body yet.

"Do you want to come now? Or do you want me to help make you last?" Meredith gives me the option.

"I want to last longer, and I want to come, and I just need more of you," I babble.

"Are you worried I'll disappear once it's over?" Meredith asks thoughtfully as she pulls her thumb away from my clit temporarily.

"I think I am," I admit finally.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. I'm here, Addison," Meredith coos.

"This sex, it's so nice and calming. I feel tense because I'm building a hell of an orgasm but I feel nice. You're nice. I don't know what I'm making words," I babble less and less coherently.

"Would you like to feel my mouth on you?" Meredith offers.

"Only if you want to," I tell her. "I don't want you to unless you want to," I tell her.

"I want to. It's my favorite," says Meredith.

"If you're sure… It's my favorite, too," I tell her honestly.

It's been a very long time since a woman has gone down on me but I still remember how much pleasure it gave me. And that was nothing compared to the pleasure that Meredith is offering me right now.

"I want to lick you, and taste you, and eat you out," Meredith growls.

I nearly come from just her words alone.

I don't though, I hold on with all of my might as Meredith laps her tongue in long strokes up my labia. She starts wide and broad as she laps up all of my juices.

"Yes, yes, yes, Meredith," I call out as she does this. My voice is getting breathier and I have to consciously take in tiny sips of air.

More kisses. More touches. More skin on skin.

Meredith is edging me slowly, as much as I can possibly take she's giving me softly now.

My breathing is ragged and I can barely speak. I realize they write stories about how people call out names or screams when they come but I realize that's not going to happen here.

I'm so close yet so far and I'm suspended in time.

If I had to talk I'm sure I could, or at least I think so, until I try to tell Meredith "please," and it comes out merely as a whisper.

I giggle at myself because I've never felt this disheveled and undone in the most wonderful way.

Meredith is looking at me now and my eyes are open again and I'm taking in the sight of her lapping in between my thighs.

"Would you like me to add in my fingers?" Meredith offers, and I try to say 'yes,' but I end up simply nodding vigorously because again, I can't even speak- I'm so damn fucked out already.

Meredith inserts one finger back in carefully, finding my spot and massaging it before adding in another finger so she's working me with two. Since she's started this, I've gotten a bit looser so I know I can take another.

"One more," I ask, whispering again. Whimpering again. And Meredith complies immediately.

Now, Meredith is three-fingers deep inside of the most intimate part of me and she's lying on her stomach and licking my core and it's the best feeling I've ever felt in my life.

I realize this as she keeping giving sex to me softly that she's so far the best that I've ever had.

And it's not even over yet.

Not that I want it to be.

More touches. More kisses. More lustful looks.

But I do know that I need to come soon because I've been clenching and tightening to make myself last but my resolve is crumbling by the second.

"You can come when you want to, Addison," Meredith encourages me.

"It's okay to let go. It's okay to let yourself go. It's okay to let yourself feel," Meredith offers.

And I know she's not talking about only my orgasm, here.

"Mer," it comes out as a whisper as I grip back onto her. My hands have been flailing between the sheets and her hair and her skin.

And now they land on her neck as I caress it as I feel myself to start to let go.

I try to keep my eyes open to watch her watch me climax.

Meredith is licking her lips as she sees me come undone, as I feel my walls clench around her three fingers, as I feel the heat radiate through my core, as I feel myself shake from the exertion it takes to keep making me feel amazing.

The orgasm overtakes me completely and my eyes press shut and my back arches off the bed as I thrust my hips up into her fingers, milking every last piece of pleasure I can as Meredith keeps cleaning me up as I grow wet yet again.

My arousal lands at her lips and she laps it into her mouth; drinking from me the taste of her own actions.

Meredith's surgically delicate fingers keep working me on my spot and the g-spot massage is so good as she strikes my spot firmly that I guess out into her all over again.

"Ohhh," I moan out breathlessly as I feel myself releasing everything that I have into her wanting lips and tongue.

We stay like this until I can't stand it anymore, and Meredith starts to slow her movements to bring me down gently back onto earth.

"Wow," I say as I come to. I must have passed out for a second from how good she'd fucked me. I guess I got my wish after all.

"Are you okay?" Meredith asks me.

"I'm more than okay, I'm feeling ext-t-ta-ticc," I stutter out and Meredith smirks at my fluttered speech.

"I'm glad," says Meredith.

"Thank you," I say to Meredith and I hope she knows that I mean this for so much more than just the sex here.

"You're welcome," she says in a weighted way that lets me know that she understands.

"Can I do you?" I ask her because I really want to.

"Yeah, of course, when you're ready. I'll let you catch your breath first. It's okay to rest for a while," says Meredith as she leans down beside me.

"I just want to hold you here in my arms for a bit, is that okay?" I ask Meredith.

"Absolutely. I want to hold you in my arms for as long as I can," says Meredith.

And she does until I start to stir.

And when Meredith asks why I'm moving from her embrace, it's my turn to smirk at her widely.

"I want to taste you," I say, licking my lips for effect.

"Please," says Meredith. And with that, I'm upon her.


****** END OF CHAPTER 20


Author's Note:

So, last chapter, I was re-reading this and there was a comment someone said about wanting to know what happens next. And I was like "I know, right!" And then I realized and commented, that I'm the author of this… So apparently I actually have to imagine what happens next… LOL!

Thanks for all the enthusiasm for this one.

And ps. My favorite is when commenters point out their favorite parts of the chapter :).

bobbiejelly


Feel free to check out these while you wait for more of this story:

Falling Apart, Barely Breathing

Soothe

Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

See you soon in the comments,

bobbiejelly