A/N: Now we have our third character - which leaves one more. Happy birthday, Keva!


Fixation


"My name is Jared, I'm a Darkmage, and I've lost count on how many characters I'm on now. What can I say? I just love Mossflower and what it has to offer. I take each class seriously and I treat each and every one like a delicate craft. Name the job, and I've got it maxed, suited and booted. Or I'm just working on it."


Clad in an apron, white clothes and a chef hat, Jared stopped by his latest quest. Another beast in desperate need of something.

"I need you to take these materials, and craft me a ship part!" the Guosim shrew squeaked, holding out a bone, a pair of chopsticks and somebeast's left sock.

"Sure!" said the squirrel, whipping out a frying pan, and adding the materials into it. Within a single minute, he had a stove quickly set up, and was calmly roasting the bits and bobs to form some sort of white foodstuff. With a quick breath into it, a sail suddenly appeared within the pan.

The shrew blinked. "Did you just fry me a sail?"

"Sue me." Jared shrugged. "I need to level up my Gourmet skills."

Tentatively and consumed by curiosity the shrew bit into the sail. "Hm. Crispy."


"Name the race. I've got at least two characters for it, one for each gender!"


"Dammit, where is everyone?" asked a ferret Brightmage, tapping his footpaw. His team had promised to meet him at nine-thirty at North Bridge at Kalno, but they were nowhere to be seen.

"Yo! Hi there, Fret!"

The ferret looked across the bridge and saw a great female badger rushing towards him, stopping just in time to not knock him into the river below.

"Who the Hellgates are you?"

"It's me, Jared!" said the badger, pointing a thumbclaw at herself. "I bought the Salamandastron DLC and unlocked the badger race!"

"Urgh, you really let yourself go," said a nearby mouse, the spitting image of Martin, the first Warrior of Redwall.

"And who the Hellgates are you?" the ferret demanded.

The mouse looked affronted. "It's me, Sebias! I'm trying out a Martin glamour set!"

An otter Pikebeast- the only one Fret recognized as a member of his team, shook his head. "Glamours functionen nicht so. Martins outfit ist nicht im Spiel bist du Level 50 erreichen!"

"Cram it, you kraut!" the ferret snapped.

"Nein," typed the otter, which came out after autotranslate as a terse 'No'.


"I take immersion very seriously in Mossflower."


Sitting down at a bush, Jared took out his sickle. His Gardener skills required only two levels until he reached level fifty, maxing out the entire skill tree. He calmly began to harvest berries, hoping that they would be useful for maxing out Gourmet as well.

Suddenly two groups of gnarly, snarling vermin began roaring up a storm.

"Prepare t'die Barney!"

"It is YOU who shall die t'day Bernie!"

The fiendish fellows threw knives, spells and finally themselves at each other in a cacophony of noise, from grunts to screams and explosions.

"YOU KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE! I'M TRYING TO HARVEST!" Jared shouted.

"Sorry…" an unnamed rat muttered sheepishly.

The squirrel turned away, once more focused on his work. Behind him the battle raged on in relative silence, combatants resorting to tiptoeing; weapons and spells making no more than a squeak. Jared smiled as he went back to gathering his fruits.


"I also don't do roleplay. I mean, I don't condemn people for doing it. I do roleplay too, but not in the game because I'm strictly here for the gameplay."


A crowd gathered in Kalno Shrine, standing at two sides of a red carpet. Upon the altar stood Mekai the sable and a squirrel clad in a dazzling white dress. It was Larina's wedding day, after all, and she had best wear her best.

A whooshing sound suddenly rang through the shrine, followed by an abrupt glow and the sudden appearance of a soaking wet squirrel.

"Whoops!" Jared shook himself, allowing the water to flee his fur. Sorry I'm late. Inundation took longer to kill than usual. Had a bunch of newbie teammates, so yeah."

"Oh, Jared. This is the happiest day of my life!"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's just peachy." The squirrel checked his watch. "Can we speed it up? I've gotta clear Marshank in an hour. Gotta teach these newbies."

Mekai, who was acting as the officiator, ruffled her brows. "I'll take that as an 'I do' for you. And do you, Larina Skyleaf, take Jared Sandeye to be your eternally bonded life partner?"

"I do!" the squirrelmaid squealed, her pupils dilating.

"By the power invested in me by Great Seasons, I declare you two to be eternally bonded! Jared, you may now kiss the bride!"

The squirrel leaned in, darted to the side, weaved his mouth around her awaiting lips and gave Larina a small peck on the cheek. The assembled crowd clapped.

"This is the best day of my life!" the squirrelmaid gasped, as tears of joy rolled down her face.

Jared checked his inventory. "Okay. I've got the two-seater mount. And the tuxedo. AND the achievement! Time to go!"

"Where are we going?" Larina cooed.

"I, singular, am going raiding with my friend."

The squirrelmaid blinked. "Wha-? But…"

Jared placed a paw on her shoulder. He looked her right in the eye. "Honey, you knew what this was." With another abrupt whoosh, the Darkmage disappeared.

"This is the worst day of my life!" Larina sobbed, as actual tears began to slide down her face.


"Some don't approve of my methods, but I say the myriad beasts of Mossflower should be grateful they have somebeast like me to save their tails over and over again."


The familiar opening cutscene played as Jared walked into Kalno's square. Once it was over, the squirrel dashed off into the neighbourhood, pushing away everybeast in his way, entering a two-storey building and running straight up to a counter.

The beaver seated behind it smiled. "Welcome to the Adventurer's Building. Now that you are a formal member, we must make sure you have a firm grasp of the fundamentals of-"

"Yeah, I don't think so." Jared slid a few pieces of papers into the receptionist's paw.

"Wait. This isn't Gold! Oh…" He surveyed the pale green notes and smirked at the smug face of Benjamin Franklin. "A section skipper, right? You're good to go."


"Sometimes things progress slower than I would like, but there's nothing I can't fix."


"So you come to me," The Umbrage Kwellain cackled. Now was the chance to destroy the fabled Taggerung in a one-on-one fight! "Even though-"

The squirrel cut him off, irritated. "I'm skipping the cutscene."

The Umbrage blinked. "Excuse me?"

Jared rolled his eyes. "I've undertaken this Trial around eight times before, and I remember that this takes, like, three minutes, and I don't have time to answer your questions."

Kwellain blinked again. "Won't that suck away all of the tension? I had a speech prepared!"

"Look," the squirrel said tersely. "Are we fighting or not?"

The Umbrage tried and failed to hide his disappointment. "Alright…"


"Some say I have a serious obsession with Mossflower and I should take a step back from it, to which I say…" Jared deliberated on the right words, before slamming his fist onto a table and screaming. "You're absolutely right! Oh goodness, I need help! It started with one extra character! How did it end up like this?"