A/N: Last character introduction. Happy birthday, Keldor, and thank you for all your contributions!
Indifference
Once again, Eula was hard at work meeting a new player. The ferret had left a sour taste in her mouth, but this otter should be a bit easier to handle. "Can you tell us about yourself?"
"Mein name ist Kiormund, nenn mich Kio. Ich komme aus Craylock und meine Hauptklasse ist Pikenier, obwohl ich mit anderen rollen experimentiere."
"Uh… what?"
"Welchen teil verstehst du nicht? Ich glaube ich habe vollkommen klar gesprochen."
"Fine. I'll get the translation software."
"Urgh, ok." The otter rolled his eyes, clearly displeased at having to repeat himself. "My name is Kiormund, and I come from Craylock. Do call me Kio. My main class is Pikebeast, though I like playing around with other roles."
"Just tell us about your life here, alright?"
The otter huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well, my journey started out like any other…"
The voice of Martin the Warrior boomed through the waiting room. "Pikebeast, hm? You are bold to select this class. Pick a server."
The otter considered his choices, stroking his chin as he did so. "Hmm… lass mich sehen… aww, das heir heißt Dibbun, wie süß!"
"Very well!" There was a brief pause and the sound of a teleporter being turned on. Suddenly the voice spoke again, but too late. "W-wait, Dibbun? You're joining a North American server!"
The otter vanished into a portal.
The warrior sighed heavily. "I hate this job."
A new player entered not long after, clapping his paws excitedly. "Oh, it's Martin the Warrior! I'm a mouse! J-just like you!"
"Of course you are," came the deadpan voice of Martin. "How original."
"I picked up the Pikebeast class and slowly made it up the levels, but it wasn't an easy ride."
"Now, it's time to take down Stallworth and all his searat traitors!" Kiormund readied his spear and prepared to charge into battle - only for a firm paw to block his path.
"Yeah, you and everyone else," barked a guardbeast. "Get to the back of the line!"
The otter blinked, his ears drooping in misery. He glanced back to see the queue of beasts extended far, far beyond the horizon...
A ferret in worn Brightmage gear slid towards the guard and tapped them on the shoulder. "Excuse me, I'm a healer."
At once, the guardsbeast stepped to the side. "Oh sorry. Right this way, sir!"
"Thank you!" The ferret spared the now-seething otter a wink. Trying to voice a complaint, Kio was clearly shut up by the angry barking of the guard.
"What are you looking at, DPS? Back of the line! Now!"
With a sigh the otter turned away, his tail dragging along the ground behind him in misery.
"Even if I eventually get to see action, it doesn't always end well."
Targeting a searat, Kio pressed 'Heavy Thrust', smiling as his spear smashed into her. 'Impulse Drive' was next, and the searat was gone, dropping an impressive number of experience points. The otter spun towards a weasel shieldbearer and pressed 'Jump' - only to be blasted with two fireballs from a pair of mages. As Kio dropped to the ground with an audible thud, a horde of searats slammed bits of planks and barrel-lids down upon his whimpering form with unnecessary glee.
The Pikebeast moaned in pain as he waited for a healer to Raise him. Why was he always launched into area-of-effect attacks whenever he Jumped?
"Sometimes I try to clear my map of all those pesky exclamation points. Why are there so many quests?"
The otter strolled into a new, unexplored village, only to find his path blocked by a desperate-looking mouse.
"Oh please hear my tale, mighty warrior, for it is one of woe! You see, vermin claimed the lives of my family, and I've been fending for myself ever since. I have to live off whatever scraps I can come across. For five long seasons- I'm sorry. Is my tragic tale bothering you?"
"No, no. Please continue." Kio rolled his eyes, preparing his teleporter.
"Well, our camp is riddled with disease and famine, and it would be very nice of you to fetch us-"
The sound of a Warp Crystal connecting to the otter's teleporter ripped through the air, earning a nervous chuckle from Kio and an annoyed grimace from the mouse.
Kio had the grace to look flustered. "Heh heh, sorry!"
"Can you try to fetch us five herbs that grow on the other side of the hills?"
"Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever." The otter said, turning away. He picked up a notebook as he did so and crossed the village out of a long list of crossed-out villages.
"Well, I did say try. I never said I was actually doing it. And as time went on, I slowly lost my patience with side quests."
"Alright, what can I help you with?" asked Kio.
"Please!" A frantic rat knelt before him, wringing her paws as if in prayer. "My sister went into the woods six hours ago and hasn't returned! I fear for her safety! You see, she was fetching supplies for our dinner tonight. As my leg had just been broken-"
"I'm gonna have to stop you right there. I thought this was a main story quest!" Shaking his head from side to side the otter prepped his teleporter. "And never say the f-word again! Fetch quests are dull, and you know it!"
The ratmaid blinked, at a loss for words. "B-but… my plight…" She could do nothing as the otter walked away, crossing out another village.
"I have little time for these petty distractions, but I will answer when duty calls! Literally!"
"Welcome to Nest. I am Eula. I'm sure Mekai-"
A portal opened up in front of the otter, marked clearly with 'TRIAL DUTY! Entry within 1 minute - countdown beginning now.'
"Hang on. Give me a second."
"Not again…" the badger sighed as Kio dived in.
A few moments later, another portal opened and a battered otter was unceremoniously dumped at the badger's footpaws.
"Never mind," the otter groaned, pushing himself upright. "The tank dropped, and I got pulverised. Blasted animation locks… at least they didn't joke about my class anymore. So yeah! What about Mekai?"
"So as you can see, I am a by-the-book adventurer. Honestly, there's not much to me except for the fact I speak German and nobody understands me."
"I take it, that's your entire character?"
"Yup."
Eula blinked and sighed. "I'm sure that won't get old fast."
