Mal grabbed her bag off the counter before making her way to the door. "Okay, so I have work until 6 and then I have my NA meeting. I'll be home after that."
Evie scrunched up her nose. "Why are you going to NA?"
"Because I bought coke and almost relapsed," Mal reminded her.
"But you didn't do it. So clearly you don't need the meeting." Evie shrugged.
Mal rolled her eyes at her girlfriend. "I get that you don't like the meetings but I need them. They are good for me. They help me."
"But you're fine." Evie protested.
"You didn't know me when I was on drugs, E," Mal told her. "I was bad. Trust me, you don't want me going back down that road again."
"You couldn't have been any worse than anyone else," Evie told her.
"You know that building down by the bakery? It used to be a club? It's burned down?" Mal asked.
Evie nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I'm the reason it's burned down. And I didn't do that in dragon form. I was a very bad person on drugs. So I'm going to my meeting. You don't understand just how quickly I can spiral out of control, E." Mal told her. "I'll be home later."
With that, Mal walked out the door and headed to work.
—-
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change..." Mal mumbled the words that she had said 1,000 times before, looking around at the room of strangers. People clearly in their first week of recovery. It reminded Mal of her very first meeting. How scared she had been, how pissed off, how distant.
Mal listened to everyone talk, choosing to not share her story this week. She just needed to be in the room, to hear the others talk to ground her. She stood up when the meeting was finally over, opting to skip the snacks and walked out of the building. She wasn't really sure what she was expecting from a meeting. She hadn't been to one in a long time. It hadn't helped.
Mal figured taking a walk might help calm her mind so she headed off down the street, leaving her car at the meeting. Her mind continued to spiral like it had for months and months. Her stress levels higher than she could handle. Her insane sister still hanging out on the Isle, causing trouble she couldn't handle right now.
Mal didn't know what was wrong with her. She had a beautiful daughter, a woman she loved and a job she worked her ass off for. Yet she wasn't okay. Maybe the toll of always taking care of people had finally gotten to her?
Mal turned the corner, absentmindedly walking along until she came across a bar she had frequented years ago. She looked at the sign for a moment, debating before walking through the front door.
"Well if it isn't Mal Moors back from the dead." A voice echoed from behind the bar.
"Hey, Johnny," Mal smiled. She hadn't been here in over 3 years but of course she was remembered.
"You drinking today?" He asked, when she plopped herself down on one of the bar stools.
Mal twisted her hands around a few times before ordering a tequila shot.
Johnny handed it to her, watching her closely. "I heard you were sober. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I was never a drunk. I had a problem with drugs. 2 different things." Mal told her, forcing herself to believe it. She stared at the shot for a moment before lifting it to her lips and quickly pouring the alcohol in her mouth, swallowing it before she could change her mind. It burned through her throat, down her esophagus and into her stomach. "What do I owe you?"
Mal paid the man was he was owed before saying goodbye and heading back into the sunlight.
—
Evie sat on the floor, playing with Macie. She hadn't heard from Mal in a few hours and she was a little worried. They didn't constantly check in with one another but they definitely kept each other updated.
"Where is your mommy?" Evie asked the toddler.
Macie looked around and raised her hands up, "don't know, Blue."
"Me either, baby," Evie sighed. She grabbed her phone and tried Mal again. This time the woman picked up.
"Hey! Are you okay? I was getting worried." Evie asked.
"I'm good. I'm on the way home. The meeting ran long. Have you guys eaten?" Mal rambled off quickly.
"No," Evie answered, "Macie has been so distracted with this new train set the boys bought her that she hasn't really focused on much else."
Mal laughed, "okay, I'll pick up some pizza. See you girls soon."
Evie smiles as she hung up the phone. "Mommy's bringing pizza!"
"Pizza!" The almost 3 year old clapped. Her vocabulary was improving but she still hadn't managed many sentences.
"Should we clean up?" Evie asked, knowing the answer.
"No. No clean," Macie stated matter of factly while shaking her head.
"Yeah, I figured," Evie laughed. She stood up from the floor and stretched out her back a little.
—
The blonde walked through the door a little while later holding a box of pizza. "Dinner time," she announced.
"Mommy!" Macie ran up to Mal as fast as her little legs would carry her. Mal say down the pizza and scooped up her smallest love. She leaned over and kissed her girlfriend who came to greet her as well.
Evie immediately tasted the tequila that still remained on her lips and tongue. She felt herself tense up and freeze, her mind racing. She knew she would have to approach things very carefully to not risk a fight.
"Hi guys," Mal smiled at them. "Did you have a good day with Blue?"
Macie nodded and squirmed her way down to the ground. "Pizza please."
Mal and Evie rolled their eyes and headed into the kitchen. Evie started putting the dinner on plates while Mal lifted her daughter into her high chair.
The taller woman sat the plates down on the table and handed Macie hers. The toddler immediately starting grabbing the pieces and bringing them to her mouth.
"She definitely loves Pizza," Mal laughed before taking a bite of her own. "So how was your day?"
Evie nodded, not wanting to speak, afraid she would say the wrong thing. Afraid she would send Mal back out to a bar.
"You're not speaking?" Mal asked, arching her eyebrow.
"I am." Evie replied, "how was your day? How was NA?"
Mal shrugged, "it was okay. I didn't talk, just listened. It was nice to hear others talk about the shit they've been through."
Evie took a bite of her pizza while Mal spoke, swallowing before speaking again. "I'm glad it was helpful. What did you do after? You're home kind of late."
Mal quickly came up with a lie, "I saw an old friend at the meeting. We went and had some coffee for a few minutes. Caught up on what had been going on."
"Coffee, huh? That's good," Evie told her. She couldn't believe she was being lied to but at the same time, she understood it.
"It was nice. I missed you guys though so I cut it short and came home," Mal smiled. She could tell Evie didn't quite believe her but she also knew Evie wasn't one to push and cause a fight.
"Well I'm glad you're home," Evie smiled. She reached over and grabbed Mal's hand right as Macie decided she was done and flipped her plate off her high chair.
"Oh, me too," Mal laughed.
"If you want to get her ready for bed, I'll clean up," Evie smiled.
Mal nodded, lifted the toddler and disappeared into the back of the apartment.
Evie got to cleaning up the small mess that was made, her mind racing. Mal clearly wasn't drunk. Evie had seen Mal drunk when they were younger. The taste on her lips had been unmistakably tequila though. Had she wanted to get caught? Mal was smart enough to have avoided the kiss. Evie didn't know what to do or what to think. She was barely hanging on to her own sobriety. She didn't know how to deal with someone else's.
By the time she had the kitchen cleaned up, Evie had decided to not bring anything up. She would keep an eye on her girlfriend and hope for the best. At least until she could figure out another plan.
—
Mal woke up to a pitch dark bedroom and a sleeping girlfriend sometime around 3 am. She didn't know what woke her up. She felt like she was being watched. She got up and went to the window, looking out to the street below. She could see a couple people but none she recognized. Nothing seemed to be amiss in the outside world.
Mal climbed back into bed and checked her phone. She had multiple messages from Uma and Harry, even one from Gil, and one from Dizzy. Her heart lurched as she began looking through them.
"Hadley is out of control." -Uma
"Your sister needs to be stopped." -Harry
"Hades other daughter took my bike." -Gil
"You need to stop your sister. She tried to rob Celia's dad." -Dizzy
Mal sighed and pressed her fingers to her temple. She couldn't handle this. Why was it up to her to stop Hadley. Why couldn't Uma or Hades? Why was it solely her responsibility?
As quietly as she could, Mal got dressed. It was now or never. She needed to go see Hadley. Face to face. The blonde had no doubts her sister was awake. Probably at some bar. Mal would find her. She had no idea what she would say but she would think about that on the way.
Mal scribbled a note for Evie, kissed her on the cheek and walked out of the bedroom.
