Hidan woke up, again, in the infirmary feeling half drugged and extremely angry.

"That piece of- Kakuzu!" Hidan screamed as he thrashed against the restraints holding his wrists and ankles to the bed.

A man with long hair, the same color as Hidan's, put in a low ponytail, wiped the dust off of his glasses and pulled the curtain open.

"Sounds like someone finally woke up. I'll go get your doctor. You've been out for a while. It's practically morning. Please try not to make too much of a mess." He disappeared behind the curtain and Hidan was left fuming.

That piece of fucking garbage… scumbag of a fucking person… how could he fucking do this to me again… Hidan's thoughts consumed him and he didn't notice when the curtain was pulled back again by Dr. Sakura Haruno.

"Hi there," she said.

Hidan growled in response.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Hidan scoffed, "You look young for a doctor. What are you one of those smart prodigy kids?"

She turned to the other man and put her hand to her chin in thought.

"Kabuto, do you think Hidan is fit enough to go back to his room yet?"

Kabuto looked at the chart in his hands, "He's fine. But we should gather some information for Tsunade about the incident."

Turning back to Hidan she asked, "Alright, Hidan. You have two options: go nicely to your room and rest, but you have to do your best to tell me what happened, or we can skip all that and you can go to the special activity we're having tonight before dinner. Oh, what are we doing again? I can't remember."

"Movie night," Kabuto said curtly.

"That's right! So what will it be, Hidan?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? What do I look like to you, a fucking child?" Hidan crossed his arms, but quickly uncrossed them for fear of looking immature.

Sakura used her hands to mimic scales and tilted herself to one side, "Hmm sounds like someone wants to go to movie night…"

"I hate those people!" Hidan shouted.

Sakura tilted to the opposite side, "So, an explanation and back to your room then?"

"Kakuzu is a fucking shit. That's what happened."

"Kisame said he carried you out of the greenhouse unconscious. Anything else you want to add?"

"No."

"I heard it's a musical tonight, Dr. Haruno," Kabuto said.

Hidan became visually more nervous at the thought of having to sit through a musical. "He stabbed me with a fucking needle, okay?"

"Why?" Sakura said calmly.

"I don't know! How am I supposed to know!"

"Than tell me why you think it happened. No wrong answers, Hidan."

"I told you I don't fucking know! He's a psycho! He could've fucking handled it better!"

Sakura nodded calmly in response.

Hidan surrendered, "I picked a fight with my friend… I'm sick, what do you want from me?" He was too tired to put up an argument anyway.

Sakura undid his restraints and cleared the way for him to leave, "Don't pick any more fights, and go back to the mess hall when they call you to eat and for your medicine."

"We'll you're easy to get away from," Hidan jumped out of the bed. "Want to be my shrink?"

"I know it's hard for you here, and I know Dr. Taki is, to an extent, very high stress and difficult. He is a good doctor though so listen to him. I don't want to make it more stressful here for you than it already is," Sakura leaned in closer to Hidan, "but don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

"Yeah yeah," Hidan waved her away, "I won't."

"Be careful, Hidan," Kabuto added as Hidan pushed the doors open to exit the infirmary.

Hidan left and walked back to his room. His thoughts diminished while talking to Sakura and Kabuto, but they were coming back full force, and much more emotional than usual.

Fuck… How am I supposed to be "at peace" when the entire fucking world is against me.

He remembered what Deidara said to him about the protests, and trying to get him back on death row. He'd been through so much hell already that it physically hurt Hidan to think about going out into the world again. He imagined being dragged away in handcuffs and a muzzle as people screamed at him and then killed him. When he finally opened the door to his room he sat unmoving on his bed with his face buried in his hands.

"I'm really going to die in this place."

Lunch was called a few hours later but he didn't hear it, and when Kisame went to remind Hidan, he looked so lost and confused that Kisame decided to just let him be.


Later that night Kakuzu heard a knock at his office door.

"Come in," he said. For a moment he thought it would be Hidan, and there was a small voice in his mind that wanted forgiveness for all the hurt he caused the younger man these past few months. Kakuzu couldn't believe he'd let something so reckless as a kiss happen between the two of them, but at the same time he couldn't help the thought of what if it happened again. and The thought created a desire that burned deep in his core.

Kisame entered and closed the door swiftly behind him. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, doctor. Do you have a minute?"

"Make it quick." Kakuzu had been busying himself with grunt paperwork since his own secluded episode the other day, but still didn't want to be bothered with anything else.

"You need to talk to Hidan. That guy looks the worst I've ever seen him since he got here. He needs a professional to talk to. He's just sitting there mumbling to himself. This won't look good if Tsunade finds out. Words got around that you went over her head."

Kakuzu looked up from his work and held his breath as Kisame continued.

"Did something happen during his therapy? I've never seen you fight with a patient, and the incidents that have been happening between the two of you are-"

"Get out, Kisame."

Kisame looked shocked and held up his hands in defense. "Fine. I'll leave, but you should do your job and help that poor kid."

Kakuzu shot up from his chair, "That 'poor kid' is a murderer!"

Now it was Kisame's turn to take offense. "Then maybe the both of you might have something in common! We've all heard the rumors about you! Everyone is terrified of you! Everyone except maybe your one and only patient, Hidan!"

"Then tell me, Kisame, what do the rumors say? Who do they say I killed? Was it my own daughter? Was it her mother? What about my brother? Did I kill him too? What do they fucking say about me, Kisame?!"

"I- I don't know. They say a lot of things, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how maybe you can really connect with this guy! Get him to feel like he's not all alone! You should know better than anyone else in this place how it feels to be cast out! Betrayed by the people you trusted! Both of us have to deal with horrible things every single day in this hell-hole, but this thing with the press demanding to come in at every hour of the goddamn day for this kid, and the riots that my guards have to calm down every fucking week- It's fucking ridiculous!"

"Do you have a point, Kisame? Because I don't have time for your whining right now," Kakuzu gnarled.

Kisame took a deep breath. "Look, Kakuzu. I don't believe any of those things they say about you. I really don't, but what happened to you, and what's happening to Hidan, well, I can't help but see some parallels."

Kakuzu dragged his attention back to his work while Kisame walked closer to the desk and turned over the picture frame of the two girls.

"Put it down," Kakuzu warned.

"You know I still remember babysitting her. She was the sweetest kid I ever knew. I'm not going to lie and say she wasn't a handful though," Kisame let out a small laugh, "I thought you were going to have a heart attack when you came home and saw that she finger painted all over all the walls while I was asleep."

Kakuzu bit the inside of his cheek and tightened his hands into fists.

"I know it's hard, Kakuzu. It seems to be hard for everyone these days, but maybe it's time to let go of the past and try to make a difference for the future."

Kisame left and when the door to the office closed Kakuzu leaned back in his chair. He took a breath and put his hands over his face. 'I'm going to lose my job, and then I'm going to lose Fuu…' he thought. The only reason he begged for this job in the first place was to be closer to her. She was all Kakuzu had left after his daughter died. 'And Hidan…' Kakuzu knew months ago that he had feelings for the man, but under no circumstances was he going to put himself in danger of being pulled away from his niece. And he knew his own anger issues didn't help the problem at all.

'Hidan is different. He's not crazy. He's brainwashed. He's not scared of me. I can help him...' Kakuzu sat anxiously as he tried to make a decision.

"Fuck!" Kakuzu was so angry he wanted to flip his desk in frustration. He placed the picture face down back inside the desk and picked up his thick wool jacket from the coat rack. As he left he locked the door behind him and vaguely thought of visiting Hidan in his room, but instead placed the key into his pocket and started towards the exit.


A light rain had begun when he finally pulled into his driveway, which, in actuality, wasn't a driveway at all. Just a plot of grass big enough for his car. Kakuzu lived a few miles off the main roads in a secluded area that used a lot of back roads. His house wasn't large or fancy. Just a log cabin with two bed rooms, one bathroom, a small kitchen, and an open living space. He opened the door and threw his bag and jacket to the floor. If one looked hard enough they could see the house was once quite beautiful, but now, being stripped of mirrors and pictures, with holes punched in the walls, clothes thrown across the floor, and dishes unwashed, it was destitute of all the warmth usually associated with a home.

Kakuzu pushed open the door to his bedroom which just contained a bed, a cheap dark wooden desk, and an old white dresser. The door creaked on broken hinges from being slammed shut so many times. He sat on the edge of his bed as thoughts of the last few months circled around him.

During one of their first sessions Hidan asked to touch the scars on his face, which Kakuzu forcefully declined, but even during those first few sessions he couldn't help but feel a small pull towards the man. And right now, as he sat pressed up against the frame of his bed he thought about those strong hands touching him again. Kakuzu closed his eyes and remembered their kiss a few weeks ago. Hidan's violet eyes looked at all of his scars, not in fear or disgust, but sympathy. He remembered Hidan's breath against his lips, and Hidan's fingers gliding up his chest. That was when Kakuzu grabbed onto the back of the younger man's head to pull him off. Unlike Kakuzu's own hair, which was thick and rough like a lion's mane, Hidan's hair seemed to be immune to gravity and swished through Kakuzu's hands like feathers.

Kakuzu wanted to go further with the man. He wanted to have Hidan underneath him in bed, and calling his name. He wanted the comfort that came with being close to someone who didn't look at him like he was some sort of monster. Hidan told him once during a therapy session that while he was in prison the other inmates called him a freak. Hidan had gone on to say that even friends he'd known for years looked at him differently after everything went public. Kakuzu, no doubt, could relate. He understood how it felt to feel unwanted and mistreated by those who he thought cared for him.

Kakuzu ran his hand down his arm imagining it was Hidan leaning towards him again to grab his face for another unpredictable kiss. Now, in the dark of his room, Kakuzu felt like he made the wrong decision to cast Hidan away for so long. The mental stress must have ruined him because, god knew, Kakuzu himself was impaired from it.

Although more than 10 years had passed since his daughter's death, he was crushed in ways that were unrepairable. Kakuzu tried his best to take care of himself, and even took on boxing to try and release some of his anger, but it was useless. Hidan felt like the release he'd been longing for all this time. Now, at 48 years old, he felt so destroyed that he believed even someone like Hidan, equally ruined yet still so young, could never feel anything even close to affection towards him, and the pain within Kakuzu was so deep that adding another scar would be too much to bear. Fuu was Kakuzu's last connection to his daughter, and if he pursued Hidan he would chance losing her. Fuu herself slipped in and out of reality, and most of the time she still believed she was a little girl when she was almost 17 years old. The girl had starved herself so horribly during her pubescent years that even her body still resembled something of a small child. Fuu didn't have much time left before her disease took her by death or complete mental confusion.

That night Kakuzu slipped into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Hidan gradually losing his mind in the asylum, and Fuu all alone without Kakuzu to guide her, deteriorating to the point where she couldn't even recognize herself anymore.