AN: And here's chapter 2! Sorry for the bit of the delay in update, things tend to get kind of crazy over the holidays. But now that Christmas and New Year's are all over, I should have more time to update, so hopefully the third chapter will be up soon!
Many thanks to my reviewers: Chas, Bin82501, and slightlyxjaded. For those of you who know me and have read my other fics, you know that 3 reviews is generally what I ask for. HOWEVER, I did get a lot of follows/favorites for the last chapter, and as nice as those are, reviews are even nicer.
So pretty please review? :)
"What?" Usagi said, sure she had heard Mamoru wrong.
"I think we need to break up," he said again.
"But…. why?" she said. "I don't understand."
"Look, it's just not working out between us, okay?" he snapped. "Can't we just leave it at that?"
"No, we can't leave it at that!" she said. "Is it something I did? Because I can change, I swear, if that's the problem. But I love you, Mamoru, please give me a second chance!"
Mamoru shook his head. "It's not that. It's just… we're incompatible. I gave this a relationship a try, but it won't work, because I just don't feel the same about you."
"But what about our past lives?" she said, trying to grasp onto something, anything. "What about Serenity and Endymion? We went through so much just to find each other again, you can't just abandon all that and say you never loved me!"
"I am not Endymion," he said, his voice low and harsh. "And you are not Serenity. I will not live my life based off of the actions and feelings of somebody else."
"Please, don't do this," she said, her voice barely a whisper and thick with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry, but it's over." With that, he strode away, leaving Usagi heartbroken on the sidewalk in front of the Arcade.
Suddenly aware of the aching pain in her injured leg, it took all she had not to collapse right there on the sidewalk. She knew that the Senshi were still at the base, and she could easily go back to them. But they were trying to conduct official Senshi business, and figure out who all the mysterious newcomers were. They didn't have time for her to cry about her personal drama. She had to be mature.
Usagi wandered aimlessly for awhile, not really going anywhere in particular. With each step her leg throbbed and her heart ached more and more, until it was unbearable. She collapsed into an old phone booth, not even caring that people could likely see her as she curled up into a ball and cried.
She had been through so, so much since she was first told she was Sailor Moon. She had loved and lost more than she thought possible, she had matured from crybaby Usagi Tsukino into a warrior of love and justice, sworn to defend the Earth. She had fought, she had won and lost, she had even died.
But through it all, she had Mamoru. Even when she was constantly bickering with him, and complaining about him to her friends, he was there. Even when he was brainwashed by the Dark Kingdom, there was a part of her that clung onto him, and knew that he would return to her someday. Even when she had lost her memories of the past, there was a part of her that still recognized Mamoru.
But now… he had been taken from her before, but not like this. When she lost him last time, it was something she could fight, something she could fix. But how was she supposed to fix this when it wasn't brainwashing that took him from her, but his choice? The thought made her wrap her arms even more tightly around herself, as a sob wrenched itself from her throat.
After some time, Usagi wasn't sure how long, her communicator buzzed. She took in a shaky breath, trying to stop the tears for just a moment. She was tempted to just ignore it, but it was the communicator they used for official Senshi business, not her regular phone.
"Hello?" she said, her voice falsely cheerful as she opened the communicator.
"We've got important information about the newcomers," a voice said. Rei. "Can you meet us at the base in five?"
"Sure," she said, trying to keep her voice from breaking.
There was a pause at the other end of the line. "Are you okay?"
Usagi knew that if she talked about what happened, she wouldn't be able to hold back the tears. Even thinking about it made her want to shrivel up and die. The communicator was supposed to be used only for official Senshi business anyways, to make sure their covers weren't compromised.
"Fine," she said, despite the fact that she couldn't be further from fine. Now wasn't the time to discuss it. "I'll see you at the base." She hung up quickly, and gulped in a lungful of fresh air, trying to calm herself. After a moment, she felt stable enough to leave without falling apart again.
She walked towards the arcade slowly, trying to keep weight off her injured leg. It was taking her longer than five minutes, and she knew Rei would likely be mad, but she would just have to deal with it.
The arcade was crowded, but the glamour around the base kept anyone from noticing as Usagi walked towards the back room, and descended down a secret staircase.
"You're late!" Rei said the second Usagi set foot on the base floor. "If you couldn't make it here in five minutes, you should have said so, instead of keeping everyone waiting!"
"Sorry," she said, keeping her voice very carefully even. "You know me, I'm so bad with punctuality!" Rei looked at her funny, so she plastered on a fake grin.
"Hey, are you okay?" Rei said. "You sounded upset over the communicator…"
"I'm fine," she said, starting to feel like her face was about to split in two from the effort it took to keep the smile on her face. "Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Usagi… what's wrong?"
The look of concern on Rei's face, on everyone's faces, tipped her over the edge, and she couldn't stop the tears. "Mamoru broke up with me," she managed to choke out.
"He what?" Rei said.
"That bastard!" Makoto cracked her knuckles threateningly.
"He said he didn't love me," she said, now full-on sobbing. "I don't understand!"
"I'm so sorry, Usagi," Luna said, her voice kind. "I know he meant a lot to you."
"I don't get it," she said again. "Just earlier today we were on a date, and everything was perfect. How can someone go from loving to cold that quickly?"
"Maybe he's been brainwashed again," Makoto suggested, but Usagi shook her head.
"It didn't feel like that," she said. "I would have known if it wasn't really him. But I just wish I understood why… I thought Mamoru was the one constant in my life."
"Hey, we're a constant," Minako said. "I know it's not the same, but we're here for you. We always will be." The other girls nodded their assent.
"Thank you," Usagi said, the ghost of a real smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. Sniffling, she wiped away the tears. "Now what was it you wanted to talk about? You have information?"
"It can wait," Luna said. "For now, you should rest. It's been a hard day."
"Come on, I'll buy you a milkshake," Minako said, and she lead Usagi upstairs to the arcade. "Good thing Luna and Artemis built the base under the arcade, huh? Now we barely have to move at all to get Motoki's quality milkshakes."
Usagi smiled a little, and let Minako lead her upstairs. She was still heartbroken, but having her friends there made it so much easier.
Minako and Usagi sat down at the counter, and ordered two double-chocolate malt milkshakes. Usagi wished she could talk to Motoki, but she couldn't exactly tell him she and Mamoru broke up when he had no idea they were dating in the first place.
Still, he could clearly tell something was wrong, as his brows furrowed together in concern when he saw Usagi. She knew she probably looked like a mess, and her face was likely stained with tears, but she was grateful to Motoki for not pressing the issue. She wasn't sure how she'd explain it if he asked.
He returned a couple moments later with their milkshakes, extra whipped cream on Usagi's. Minako dug into her purse to find the money, but Motoki held up a hand.
"It's on the house," he said. "You look like you need chocolate milkshakes more than I need the money."
Usagi smiled in gratitude, and took a sip of her milkshake. It was creamy and chocolate-y and delicious, frosty cold and sugary sweet, just the way it should be. Motoki made the best milkshakes.
Minako tried to keep her mind off of Mamoru and the break up by making up stories about the people they saw at the arcade.
"Ooh, see that guy over there with the dorky glasses?" she said, jerking her head in the direction of a young man who sat in a booth, his head bent over a comic book. "He's secretly studying to be a rocket scientist. He has a book on physics hidden behind that comic book, that's what he's actually reading."
Usagi giggled. "Why is he at the arcade, then?"
"Well, duh, 'cause even rocket scientists in training need milkshakes," Minako said. "But he didn't want to stick out like a sore pinky, so he's undercover, pretending to be a typical nerd."
"I think that's sore thumb."
"Whatever," Minako waved off the correction. "The point still stands."
Usagi smiled, and after a moment she spoke. "Thank you."
Minako's gaze softened. "Of course. And I know this isn't much consolation, but… if he can't appreciate you, if he can't realize what he has… then he doesn't deserve you. And you'll find somebody better."
Usagi sighed, staring down into her milkshake glass. She wished that Minako were right. She wished that she could find somebody else, but she knew that she would never stop loving Mamoru.
"Ooh, look, the new racing game is empty!" Minako said. "Come on, I'll race you."
She dragged Usagi over to the two-player racing game. It had arrived recently, and was very popular, so there was usually a line of people waiting to play, but not today.
Usagi sat down in the chair, selected a sporty blue car, and pushed play. She had to admit that in spite of herself, she was having a lot of fun. The feelings of heartbreak and despair were still there, right beneath the surface, waiting to be unearthed. But for right now she was… happy.
As she and Minako raced each other, each one trying desperately to pass the other, she even laughed a little. When she beat Minako, coming in 5th place to Minako's 7th, she even did a little victory gloat.
"5th place," a voice said from behind her. "Not bad, Odango."
Usagi whirled around in her seat and found a tall, handsome man standing behind her. He was wearing the uniform of the private high school, so he clearly wasn't too much older than her, but he looked very grownup.
"Are you making fun of me?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"Not at all," he said. "It's a hard game. Of course, I can do better, but I can do better than everyone."
"Oh yeah?" Usagi said, feeling bold all of a sudden. "I bet you're all talk."
"I'll race you, if your friend doesn't mind," he said, nodding towards Minako.
"Not at all," Minako said, sliding out of the seat and elbowing Usagi in the ribs with a very meaningful look.
He put a couple of coins into the machine, and selected his car. "You think I'm all talk? Watch this." The game started, and he turned to smirk at Usagi, expertly maneuvering his car even when he wasn't looking at the screen.
Usagi slammed down on the accelerator pedal, wildly clutching at the steering wheel to avoid crashing, but over-corrected on a turn, and her car skidded off the road. Meanwhile, the handsome stranger was in 1st place, way ahead of anyone else. His car sped along with elegance and power that Usagi didn't even know was possible. She stared at his screen, her mouth agape, before she realized that everyone was passing her, and she had slipped into 8th place, the lowest spot.
She shook herself out of her daze, and managed to slide into 7th place right at the very end, but the stranger had already finished in first, and was looking at her with amusement.
"See?" he said. "I told you I'm unbeatable, Odango."
"Why do you keep calling me that?" she said irritably. It reminded her too much of Mamoru.
"I like your hairstyle," he said. "It's cute. You're cute." He slid a little closer to her, his smile broadening.
"I have a boyfriend," she blurted out, averting her eyes from this mysterious, handsome stranger. Not anymore, a voice in the back of her head said. Mamoru broke up with you, remember?
"So?" he said.
Usagi wasn't sure what to say to that, but she was saved by the appearance of a girl, wearing the same high school uniform.
"Are you bothering the cute girls again, Haruka?" she said with a shake of her head. "Whatever am I supposed to do with you?"
"Are you his girlfriend?" Usagi asked, suddenly concerned that the girl might take this situation the wrong way. As handsome as the man was, she was still hung up over Mamoru, and she didn't want to create any unnecessary drama.
The girl's eyebrows rose and the corner of her mouth twitched. "His girlfriend? I suppose you could say that." Usagi looked, confused, between the two.
The man smiled again, and extended a hand towards Usagi. "Haruka Tenoh, and yes, this here is my girlfriend, Michiru Kaiou. But I'm not a he."
The implication of his—her—words sunk in, and Usagi blushed. She felt very embarrassed for having gotten it wrong, and was about to apologize, when Michiru laughed.
"Don't worry about it," she said. "You're not the first to think Haruka's male. She lets all the cute girls think that."
Usagi blushed again, but managed to collect herself. "I'm Usagi Tsukino. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"We have to go," Haruka said. "See you around, Odango." She ruffled Usagi's hair as she got up and left with Michiru.
That night, Usagi lay in her bed, trying to sleep, but no sleep would come. She just didn't understand it—why did Mamoru break up with her? Was she too clingy, too annoying, too immature, too something?
She couldn't just believe that he didn't love her, and that he never did, that his memories of Endymion didn't mean anything to him. Because if it were true, if he didn't have any feelings for her… she shivered, despite the warm air coming in through her open window.
He was everything to her. And she hated how boy-crazy and desperate that sounded, because she was more than a lovesick schoolgirl. She was Sailor Moon, dammit, and she wasn't defined by her love for Mamoru. And yet… in a way she was. She would die for him in an instant. She had died for him in their past lives.
They were Princess Serenity and Prince Endymion, Tuxedo Kamen and Sailor Moon, Usagi and Mamoru. They had a love that spanned lifetimes, a love that survived death and rebirth twice, a love that survived forgotten memories and brainwashing.
How could they break up now? How could he break up with her after all they had been through together? How could he do this to her, to them?
She turned over in her bed, wiping away the tears. She wished she could be stronger. She wished she could stop her heart from breaking, but she couldn't do anything but cry.
"Die, Sailor Moon." He dropped the black rose on the ground in front of her, and a second later the thorny vines wrapped around her.
She screamed as the dark energy coursed through her body, but he just stood there. She looked at him, her blue eyes pleading, but he stood there, completely unaffected by her pleas or her cries of pain. She screamed again, the sound echoing in his ears, drowning him, but he felt nothing. She was the enemy. She deserved to die.
Mamoru woke with a gasp, and ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to pull himself together. The images kept flashing in front of his eyes, and he could barely stand it. The look on her face, as he told her he was breaking up with her. The look on her face as he tortured her. No matter whether his eyes were open or closed, all he could see was Usagi in pain. When he was asleep, he saw himself killing her. When he was awake, he saw himself breaking her heart.
He had lied, of course, when he said he didn't love her. He loved her more than he had ever loved anyone, more than he thought possible for a little orphan boy who lost his parents. Ever since the accident, he had shut people out, kept people at arms length, even been downright cold. But Usagi… she had changed all that.
The last thing he wanted to do was break up with her, but if he didn't, he feared the consequences would be much more than a broken heart. Ever since his memories had returned, he'd been haunted with nightmares.
Well, that wasn't entirely true. He was haunted by memories, and that made it so much worse. Every night he saw himself as Endymion of the Dark Kingdom, kicking, strangling, torturing Usagi. But it wasn't just seeing himself doing it, as if he were a neutral third party—he felt himself doing it.
He remembered the way it felt to wrap his hands around her neck, and choke the life out of her. He remembered the way it felt to swing his sword with deadly precision, his only goal to kill Sailor Moon. He remembered the way it felt to feel nothing at all as she screamed and cried and begged him to remember who he was.
At first, he had thought he could move past it. Maybe, over time, the memories would fade, and so would his guilt. But with the new enemy… he knew that his relationship with Usagi put her in danger. The enemy had used him once before to hurt her, and he had nearly killed her. Her love for him was a weakness, one that he couldn't allow.
It was better than they both be heartbroken and she live. He could barely live with himself as it was, and if he ever hurt her again… he couldn't bring himself to finish that thought. It was better this way. He kept telling himself that, but it didn't change the way he felt. It didn't mend his broken heart.
Early the next day, Usagi sat on the docks, swinging her feet over the edge. Mamoru was going to take her out in a boat on the lake for her birthday, and then they were going to have a romantic picnic in the park.
Scowling, Usagi pushed the thought aside. She had come out here to try and gather her thoughts and process her emotions, not to mope. A flash of something caught her eye, and she looked up, squinting.
A little girl was careening through the sky, and she landed right on Usagi, knocking her over. The girl immediately scrambled off of Usagi's lap, and looked at her distrustfully.
"Who are you?" she said.
AN: Review… OR ELSE. Yeah, or else! Doesn't that scare you into reviewing? :)
