I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender
Updated 2/19/21: In case it is not clear, italicized sections are flashbacks
Outside the litter, the world was full of noise. The crowd cheered and yelled. A few children cried. A band played a victorious and triumphant ballad. Bards and criers loudly and boldly proclaimed her victories and accomplishments. Azula of the Blue Flame, they exclaimed. Her military precession clanked in their armor, stomped in their boots, and struck the stones with the butt of their spears. To be sure, there was not a whisper of silence to found on the plaza that day.
Unless one looked inside the palanquin.
The royal palanquin was beautiful a piece of craftsmanship. The outside was all mahogany, stained black, accented with gold. The curtains were crimson silk of the finest weave. The cushions were similar, stuffed with the softest feathers tortoise-geese had ever produced. It was large as well, easily able to accommodate four, maybe even five people.
At that moment, Azula hated it.
Those walls of wood and silk had somehow divided the world in two. Inside, there was silence, and only silence. Silence and emptiness. She had never before really noticed how large the litter was, how much unnecessary room she had. How empty and silent it was. She tried to rationalize it. Of course, there was more room and less noise. There was no Ty lee blathering on about her boyfriend of the month, sometimes week, or trying get to Mai to talk about her boyfriend. There was no Mai complaining about being bored and trying to find uses for her knives. There was no Zuko…
There was no Zuko.
Azula decided that what she missed was the entertainment of it all. The three of them were always so obsessed with their own little problems, little lives. They had danced and hopped and ran about, without ever knowing just how much power she had over them. They were her own little puppet show, dancing on her strings with the slightest twitch of her fingers. Oh, how she loved to watch them.
Now they were all gone. Her toys had cut their strings and left.
They left.
Her fingers curled into a fist. Impeccably painted and sharp nails dug into the soft skin of her palm. She could feel an ember forming instinctively between her fingers, the need to simply burn something.
They left her.
Just like…
"Zuko didn't leave you, dear," said soft and cultured voice. "You killed him."
Red eyes snapped open, her fists relaxed, and her heart nearly stopped. Opposite her in palanquin, was woman. She was beautiful. Azula had always envied her beautiful. She had inherited many of her father's sharp features, regal, imposing, but shy of this woman's looks. The woman was gentle in both temper and appearance. And those golden eyes. She did not look Azula, instead she looked through silk curtains, resting her chin the palm of her hand.
"Mother…," Azula whispered.
Not again, she thought.
Gold eyes turned towards her. "I had always hoped you two would be able to reconcile one day. You played so well at first. And Zuko was so proud of being a big brother."
Azula opened her mouth to speak but could not drag the words up from her throat.
"He kept wanting to show you off to everyone who came by. Once, he even tried to parade through the city in his little wagon. We convinced him to settle for this very plaza, do you remember?" asked Ursa.
"Zuko is a traitor!" Azula shouted, burning away all those memories, "Zuko is a traitor. I killed him. He is dead!"
"So am I, my daughter, though that does not mean we did not love you," Ursa said, "Now you have everything to yourself. Isn't that what you wanted?"
The princess blinked and found herself alone again, still.
There was a hesitant rap on the wood and even more hesitant voice asked, "Princess, the Fire Lord awaits."
She had not even noticed arriving at the palace steps, her palanquin being set down.
Azula scrambled out of the litter, gracefully as she could. Holding her head high, she marched up the steps with every ounce of regal bearing she possessed. Her father stood at the top, looking more like a statue than a man.
She could feel his sharp eyes on her, examining her.
It was likely no one noticed the displeasure on his face. No one, except for Azula. She could almost follow his gaze. Her uniform had creased and wrinkled. The right sleeve had bunched up on her forearm slightly. There were bags under her eyes, and no makeup to hide them. A few strands of hair flew free and out of place. His gaze hardened. Those golden eyes burned differently than her mother's.
As she kneeled before him, he spoke loud and clear, "Rejoice! My daughter, your crown princess has returned victorious! She has burned a stain from your royal family. The traitor has been cleansed by fire and his name shall never be spoke again. Rejoice and honor your crown princess, heir to throne of Agni!"
The crowd behind exploded with applause and shouts.
Azula's chest felt painfully tight.
Ozai dipped his head towards her and said quietly, "Do better."
Toph sat unstirring by herself, a little removed from the communal campfire. She knew that the dichotomy of her behavior sometimes confused her friends, much to her amusement. The young girl loved being brash, loud, and breaking things. She loved demanding and receiving the attention of all around due to her sheer awesomeness. After being locked away as the helpless little blind girl, who wouldn't?
This does not mean she was incapable of being still, or enjoying it. She wasn't an airbender.
Toph knew earth, and earth was stillness. It was the yin and yang. When was she busy busting boulders and heads, she was calm and relaxed on the inside. When Toph was still and quiet, she was thinking, chewing the gravel as they say. She did not often advertise it, but this stone was sharper than many thought.
Her current problem was a puzzle, with an undetermined number of missing pieces. She bit her bottom lip as she examined the pieces before her.
Suki and Sokka sat off her left, cuddling and playing with each other's heartbeat. Katara and Aang were on the opposite side of the fire. The airbender was still sulking and never seemed to leave the range of Sugar Queen's comforting. The Water Tribe girl was washing laundry, and humming. She always seemed to be humming recently.
The two non-benders had been keeping to themselves mostly. They spent some time with Toph, but were deliberately avoiding the other two. Well, Katara anyway. The tomboy doubted they were keeping away from Aang, but it was difficult to separate one from the other. Toph had only a fragment of the reason for this behavior, and that bothered her.
Katara did something.
She had heard Snoozles' yell, but was unable to follow the rest of the conversation. The often amorous couple had determined, with perhaps some hints from the earthbending girl, how far they had to be to escape her ears and her feet. Usually helpful, not in this case. That single sentence was an important piece of the puzzle, but a small one.
Given the distance between the Water Tribe siblings, and the sheer lack of talking between them, it was no small matter. This was more than Katara refusing to cook Sokka's favorite sea prune surprise. Besides Fanny would be grateful if that were the case. And Snoozles would be pouting, not avoiding his sister.
There was also the matter of the timing. It was right after they fled the Western Air Temple. It was right after losing …Zuko. Toph swallowed the lump growing her throat, no time for that now. What could have been so important that Suki picked that moment to talk about it, making sure she was away for prying toes? The simplest implication was that it involved Zuko.
And Katara.
Katara did something and it involved Zuko.
For the briefest of moments, Toph felt her heart twist, wondering if Katara and Zuko did something together. The short girl quickly and violently shook that particular thought out of her head. There was no chance of that happening. Sugar Queen hated Zuko way too much to get cozy with him. Toph had never seen the waterbender treat anyone like she treated the exile, not even that Jet person. She would have been more like to kill…
Toph's unseeing eyes snapped open.
Katara hated Zuko.
Katara did something, involving Zuko, who she hated.
The tomboy racked her brain to dredge of every detail of that …moment, ignoring the pain and focusing on the stone hard facts. She could not see on the saddle, but she had gotten the basic idea of what happened. She knew Zuko fell off the war balloon, fighting with the Queen Fire Bitch herself. Toph knew she felt Appa turn, presumably to the save their friend. She was also fairly certain that the saddle shifted as others, minus Aang who was driving, moved to one side of the saddle. Toph thought that she had even caught a whiff of smoke and cedar, pure Zuko.
Then he was gone…
Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes.
No, the earthbender said to herself, not yet. Puzzle first.
If Zuko was so close, if they tried so hard to save him, then why wasn't he still here?
Only one possible piece made sense with the others. Katara had done something, or perhaps done nothing, to ensure Zuko died.
Toph stomped to her feet, fists balled at her sides. Three of the group turned towards her, one did not. The other persisted in the washing and that damn humming. The earthbender only had 'eyes' for the one ignoring her. A slight vibrating tremor could be felt from the girl, small pebbles began to roll slowly towards the waterbender.
Suki carefully stepped towards to the younger girl, with the caution of one approaching a wild animal. Her boyfriend was trailing behind, watching his sister. Suki had been concerned, very concerned, that the earthbender had overheard her conversation was Sokka. They tried to be careful, but trying to put a limit on the girl's abilities was impossible, or nearly so. Suki was almost relieved when Toph had not started a fight the next morning.
But now…
The warrior placed a hand on Toph's shoulder. Softly, she spoke, "Are you okay?"
Suki though she could her teeth grinding as Toph asked, "Am I wrong?"
For a moment, she was confused by the question. Then older girl could not help but follow the line of moving pebbles from Toph to Katara. The waterbender had stopped washing and was rolling a ball of water between her hands, ready to strike. It was then that Suki knew that Toph had heard something, if not the whole, and was piecing the rest together.
She weighed her decisions for a few heartbeats. Was it better to confirm the younger girl's theory or try to deceive her and withhold information from the lie-detecting earthbender? Was a suspicious and angry Toph better than a certain and angry one?
Sometimes there were no good choices.
"No."
Toph didn't attack anyone. She didn't speak. She didn't stamp her feet and accuse Katara. She did not even bend. The petite girl only screamed a loud wail, equal parts fury, sorrow, and pain. She shook off Suki's arm and ran.
The Kyoshi warrior tried to follow her, but Sokka grabbed her arm. She looked back at her boyfriend, and he shook his head a little. It was the look in his eyes that lead her to relent. Grief. Hurt. And Worry. She pulled him close, hoping the earthbender would calm down before she tore apart the island.
Aang just dropped his head back down.
Katara resumed washing.
Toph ran until she was clear on the other side of the island. Only then did she let herself crumble. The girl fell down and wept. She hated crying, hated feeling weak, but even mountains can break, and she had.
As the tears poured out, she felt a blanket of warmth cover her. Lifting her head, she could feel the sun shining on her face. It was warm. Sparky had felt like that, Iroh too. They were warm; she could feel it just standing near them. She was amazed that no one else noticed. But then she was used to noticing things no one else did. Zuko had a similar habit at times.
"So..um…you're blind," said Zuko upon finding her cooling her feet in a water fountain.
The petite child snorted, "Good catch. I am also a girl if that one escaped your notice."
The firebender raised a lone eyebrow, wondering just how sarcastic a voice could get. Mai would either be impressed or jealous.
"Well, I," he said, scratching the back of his head, "I wanted to apologize again for..."
"Oh stop it, Sir Grumps-A-Lot," Toph interrupted, jabbing a finger in his general direction. "I screwed up. Sneaking up on a lone firebender in the woods, in the dark. So enough with the apologies!"
She paused for a second before saying, "But you still owe me piggy-back rides."
His heartbeat calmed down and she heard a whisper of raspy chuckle. She grinned.
It was his next comment that the surprised her. He said, "You use earthbending and vibrations to see, right?"
Toph would have blinked if her eyes had actually allowed her see, she settled for titling her head to the side. She had not said anything to him about how she 'saw'. It possible, unlikely but possible, that one of the others said something. Had he figured that out himself? Guessed?
"Yeah…" she replied, wondering where this was going.
Zuko shifted a little before he continued, "Do you find it difficult to fight firebenders? We aren't airbenders, but we spend a lot more time in the air then earth or waterbenders. And fire is, well, fire. It isn't solid. Light and heat."
Toph said nothing. She watched the young man in front of her. He was still fidgeting, and his heartrate was creeping back up. From what she could read, he was being honest and straightforward, if awkward. It was strange. She was not sure she had ever discussed the technicalities of her bending before. Except for the badger-moles, but they didn't use words.
Finally, she shrugged, "A lot of what I do is guessing, experience and pure baddassery. I can usually tell when a punch or kick is aimed towards me. The heat is a good warning, but a late one. Not much time between feeling the heat and feeling the crispy. When they get jumpy, I try for an all around defense."
The boy nodded and Toph knew that he understood. This conversation was getting weirder by the moment. He had noticed her weakness against firebenders. He had explained it to her, and he was listening to her. Actually listening to her.
"Oh," Zuko said, "Can you stand and make barrier like you did last night?"
"Alright," she huffed. "But if you try anything, I am dropping you through to the next floor." She grinned and felt his heartrate jump higher, apparently not finding her smiling to be reassuring.
Good.
Toph stepped out the fountain and pulled up a small earth wall.
"That is why your feet got burned."
"Excuse me?" Toph asked, "I got burned because I blocked it."
There was a moment of silence. "If you are shaking or nodding your head I can't see it, Moody," she said flatly.
"Sorry, oh I mean…"
"Just get on with it."
"The wall is too narrow, just enough to cover you. It is efficient, bending only as much as you need. But won't work against fire completely. Fire isn't solid, it will flow around the edges. Even if the flames won't, the heat will. A basic tactic against dug in earthbenders is to use heat and smoke."
Zuko then knelt down in front her and drew two lines. They started on either side of her and a little behind her, then they went towards the firebender meeting a point directly in front of him.
"A barrier like this would be better at keeping fire away from you."
Toph frowned. She marched up to the teenager. She crossed her arms, and did her best to look up towards his face. The girl learned long ago that her eyes tended to unnerve people when it came to staring. She put on her best expressionless face.
Then she slugged him in the arm.
A wide grin blossomed across her face. "Not bad Sparky," she said. "and that is how I show affection, by the way."
Zuko shook his head, not rubbing his arm like Snoozles or TwinkleToes would.
Then his heart did another little pitter-patter of nervousness. "I could…you know…spar with you…to help you with your timing and barriers…not that I would try to burn you again…not that I tried to burn you the first time…" At this point he gave up and hung head.
Toph bended herself a pedestal and patted his head, "Sounds like fun Sparky! I would love to kick your ass! Now turn around and give me a ride, I'm starving."
As he carried her towards the dining area, she said, "And don't worry, you aren't that bad at being good."
Toph laid on the ground, bathing in the warmth of the sunshine and the memory. She knew it was stupid, but something in that sunshine made her think her friend wasn't gone forever. It was a strange feeling, but a certain one. The badger-moles had always told her to pay attention to such things.
She yelled up towards the sun, "You better still be alive, or I am going to come to Spirit World and drag your ass back here!"
Her face and her spirit fell as she whispered, "Please Sparky."
Iroh was also facing the sun, far away on a ship. He was trying to meditate to center himself. He tried to focus on the waves lapping against the ship, the hint of salt in the breeze, and Agni's warmth. The old man begged for answers from the silent spirits. Twice now, he had been so robbed. And twice now he could find no answers for his suffering. Was the line of Sozin cursed? Lu ten and Zuko had done no great hurt to world. Lu Ten was a kind and strong young man, and would have been a fair and just Fire Lord. Zuko…Zuko was only just finding himself, and the great man he could be. Now both were gone.
He did not feel as he did when his blood son died. Then he felt hollow and extinguished. This time he felt the pain, the sorrow but he always felt harder. He felt a quiet rage. Iroh was coal, looking used up and cool to the touch. Anyone that dared touch this piece would burn.
There was a polite cough behind him, Pakku asked, "Are you sure about this? We agreed to let them be, did we not?"
Without turning, Iroh responded, "It was a mistake. Made with noble intentions, but it was a mistake and has cost us much."
"Us or you?"
Iroh rose and turned to face the taller waterbender. Pakku glared defiantly back at him.
"Us. Zuko had the best chance as the Fire Lord when the war ended…"
"A point," Pakku interrupted, "that not all of us agreed on."
Iroh slashed a hand down in front of him, the slightest bit of heat. "No! He had the best chance. And that is gone! Even without that loss, their plans have failed. Time is running out."
Pakku sighed but did not disagree, "All of our contingencies will take too long to bear fruit."
The old firebender nodded, "That is our next goal, buying the time we need."
He then sat back down, praying for his lost sons, praying for a lost old man.
