A/N: Hi, everyone! First off, this story was written for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments) Wandlore: Task 1 - Write about channelling a negative emotion into something positive. Secondly, this story concerns an unnamed anxiety disorder and includes an anxiety attack, so please read at your own discretion. This is all based off of my personal experiences, but anxiety attacks and disorders in general are not experienced the same way by everyone. I don't think this is a topic that gets talked about enough, so I wanted to write a story about it. To everyone who suffers from anxiety disorders out there, your emotions are valid, you are loved, and you are appreciated. Take care of yourselves.

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of an anxiety attack, talk about anxiety disorder in general (nonspecific).

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All rights go to J. K. Rowling.

Word Count: 1509

The tightness in Neville's chest was familiar at this point. The pounding heart, the rapid breathing, the overwhelming feeling of drowning and panic were all part of his everyday experience. Trying to focus past his sudden lightheadedness, Neville pressed the palms of his hands into his thighs firmly. He did his best to focus on what Professor Flitwick was saying, but it was all he could do to keep his breathing somewhat under control. He pressed down with his palms harder and reminded himself that there were only two minutes left of class.

The second Flitwick dismissed them, Neville grabbed his bag and swung it over his shoulder, not even bothering to shove his books and quill inside, opting instead to just grab them from his desk and carry them in his arms. He walked as quickly as he could out of the classroom.

Loud chatter and laughter assaulted his ears as he stepped into the hallway. As students emerged from their classrooms and began making their way to the grounds to enjoy the summer day, Neville felt more and more overwhelmed. He hugged his textbooks closer to his body and tried to ignore the people bumping into him from all directions, even though their touch made him want to lash out. After what felt like an eternity, Neville reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. Thankfully, he remembered this password, and then was promptly allowed inside.

After throwing everything he was holding onto the foot of his bed, Neville climbed up and sat with his back against the headboard, knees pulled up to his chest. Glancing around the room somewhat frantically, Neville did his best to concentrate on five things he could see: His quill, Dean's football poster, the shirt Ron wore two days ago, the rock cakes Harry got from Hagrid, and the box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans Seamus brought back from Hogsmeade last weekend. Next, he focused on the sound of distant laughter, the creaking of floorboards outside his dorm, the wind blowing against the windows, and the branch periodically hitting the windows. He could feel the rough headboard against his back, the mattress beneath him, and his jeans under his hands. The smell of smoke was still in the air from when Seamus caused a small explosion in the dorm yesterday, and Neville breathed that in deeply, along with the smell of freshly laundered bedsheets. The last thing he tried to concentrate on was the taste of chocolate from this morning's breakfast that still lingered in his mouth.

While Neville didn't feel like crawling out of his skin anymore, there was still an overwhelming tightness in his chest, and he could tell he was teetering on the edge between panic and calm. Bracing himself, Neville stood up from his bed and walked over to the window nearest to him, on the ledge of which was the dittany plant he was growing. As he began watering the plant and fertilizing it properly, Neville felt the tension begin to drain from his muscles. The tightness in his chest was slowly dissipating, too, and his hands grew steadier the longer he worked.

Neville heard the door open unexpectedly, and he turned around to face the person standing there, being careful to keep his breathing relaxed and steady.

It was Harry. He was hovering awkwardly in the doorway, rocking back and forth, his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his robes. The discomfort rolling off of him almost made Neville want to laugh, but he'd never do that to Harry.

"Erm," Harry began hesitantly, "I, um, saw you rushing out of Herbology...just wanted to make sure you were okay, mate."

Despite Harry's obvious discomfort, Neville was warmed that he'd taken the time to come and make sure he was okay. A small smile stretched across his face. "I'm fine," he told Harry honestly. He gestured to the plant in front of him. "I just needed to take care of my plant."

Relief flashed across Harry's face before it was covered by an amiable grin. "Good. Do you, uh, want to come out to the grounds with us? Fred and George started a water fight with some Hufflepuffs down by the lake."

The offer was tempting, but Neville also knew he needed to take it easy if he didn't want to be overwhelmed again. "I might come in a minute," he replied. "I have a few more plants that need watering after this one. But thanks anyway, Harry."

"No problem." With a quick wave, Harry left.

Neville turned back to his plants, taking care to measure out exactly what each one needed, all the while relishing in the calm caring for them brought him.


"Hello, Neville!" Hannah said brightly as he sat beside her in the library. They were meeting up for another study session before exams began in two weeks. Herbology was first, and Neville was fairly sure they'd both do great on it, but it never hurt to go over the material again, especially since he could have a very stimulating conversion on the subject with Hannah.

"Hi." Neville put his Herbology textbook on the table in front of him. Hannah's blonde hair was shining in the sunlight, and it almost matched the glow in her eyes, but not quite. Neville felt his face grow a bit hot at the thought and quickly shoved the observation to the back of his mind.

Blue eyes regarded his curiously. "How are you? I didn't see you after class yesterday."

Guilt rushed through him. He'd completely forgotten that he'd agreed to meet Hannah by the greenhouses after Charms. "I'm so sorry," he said empathetically. "I completely forgot. I, er, got a bit overwhelmed during class again."

Hannah nodded in sympathy, but her eyes were free of judgement, to Neville's relief. He'd talked to her about his anxiety before, but he still worried sometimes that she'd think he was overreacting. "Do you know what made you anxious?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I don't think it was any one thing, really. There are a couple of assignments hanging over my head, but it really just hit me all of a sudden."

A warm hand was placed on top of his own. "I'm sorry you had to go through that again." The sincerity and concern in Hannah's voice made Neville want to cry, just like it always did. He couldn't talk to Gran about his anxiety attacks, no matter how much he'd like to. She simply didn't understand, and he'd heard Everyone gets anxious one too many times.

Swallowing thickly, Neville whispered, "Thank you."

Hannah bit her lip. "If you don't mind my asking, Neville, how do you get through it? When you described it for me, it sounded so...incapacitating."

He smiled ruefully. "It is, in a way. Usually, I just try to get to my dorm so I can look after the plants I keep there."

Neville laughed softly as Hannah's eyes widened in surprise. "I wasn't expecting you to say that," she admitted, cheeks pinkening slightly.

"I could tell," he teased, feeling his own face heat up just a tad. He straightened up then and subconsciously tightened his grip on Hannah's hand. "I guess...When everything feels overwhelming and I start feeling like I can't do anything right, it helps to do something that I know, instinctively, I do well. Like...if I can't have control over my emotions, my thoughts, or my body, I can have control over caring for a plant. Once I exercise control over that, I start to feel more in control of myself."

Hannah's thumb was rubbing up and down the back of his hand in a soothing, steady rhythm. "That's beautiful, Neville." Her smile really lit up her whole face, he thought. "I bet you have a whole garden by now!" Mirth sparkled in her eyes.

He barked out a laugh. "You have no idea. Those plants have never known better care."

Hannah giggled, and Neville moved his chair closer to her. He tried to be subtle about it, but he was fairly certain she'd noticed, anyway. "Thank you for listening, Hannah. I don't know what I'd do without you, to be honest."

She tucked a curl of blonde hair behind her ear shyly. "I'm happy to listen, Neville. Actually, I feel really lucky and honored that you're willing to talk to me about this."

He hummed in acknowledgement. "You can come to me with anything, too, you know."

"I know."

They sat in silence. It was nice, Neville decided. He didn't get to enjoy enough moments of absolute calm, so he was going to relish this one while it lasted. As he thought about it, he realized that most of the peaceful moments he'd had lately were shared with Hannah.

Neville glanced at the Hufflepuff as she quietly flipped the page in her Herbology textbook, and he realized that he was excited to cultivate this thing between them, and he couldn't wait to see how it would grow.