AN: Gaaahhhhhh. I am SO sorry about the insane delay in updating. I'm in the process of applying to colleges, and the whole thing just crept up on me, and I needed to spend most of time writing essays for that, much as I wanted to write this. But, the good news is, I'm almost done with the applications, so the next update should be quicker!
As always, many thanks to my reviewers: Ellourrah, Pink ranger 13, Sage McGavin, lilymoon80, slightlyxjaded, maryyorke and gabeliz . castillocarin. You guys are amazing.
Mamoru sighed and stared down into his cup of cold, black coffee. All he could think about was Usagi, and the look she—and the other Senshi—had given him. That cold, icy glare. He hated that she didn't trust him anymore. And he knew she had every right to hate him, but… it hurt.
"Endymion."
Mamoru whirled around at the sound of his name. Who could possibly be in his apartment, and why on Earth were they calling him Endymion?
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you!" Zoisite stepped out of the shadows, followed by the other Shitennou.
Mamoru stared blankly for a moment, but then he was on his feet, and grabbing the nearest weapon—a kitchen knife. "How the hell are you alive? We killed you! All of you!"
"Whoa, easy there!" Zoisite threw up his hands. "It's us, Endymion."
"Yes, I can see it's you!" Mamotu snarled. "What I can't figure out is what you want or how you're alive when the Dark Kingdom is a relic of the past."
"We're not with the Dark Kingdom." Zoisite said this like it should be incredibly obvious.
"You're… what?"
Zoisite frowned at Kunzite. "I thought you said he remembered."
"I said the Senshi remembered," Kunzite said.
"And that you were confident Endymion must remember as well."
"Well… yes." Kunzite looked apologetic.
"I knew this was a bad idea," Nephrite muttered. "Rushing this could cause irrevocable damage to the brain tissue."
"Relax, Nephrite!" Jadeite said. "He'll be fine. Besides, us just sitting around in that old house isn't getting anything done, so clearly this is all for the best."
Mamoru meanwhile was getting more and more confused. "Could someone tell me what on earth is going on? If you're not from the Dark Kingdom… who are you? And how are you alive?"
"You might want to sit down," Zoisite said. "It's kind of a long story."
Mamoru did so reluctantly, still holding on to the knife.
"So… do you remember your past life at all?" Zoisite asked. "When you were Endymion, crown prince of Earth?"
"Yes…" Mamoru said slowly. "I remember my relationship with Serenity."
"Well, similar to how Serenity had the Senshi has her guardians, you also had four guardians… us."
"We were the Holy Shitennou of the Earth Kingdom," Nephrite said. "But when Queen Beryl brainwashed the citizens of the Earth, we fell part to her evil plan, and were brainwashed to believe we were loyal servants of the Dark Kingdom. We died during the attack on the Moon Kingdom, but when Queen Serenity used the power of the Silver Crystal to seal Queen Beryl and send everyone to the future, we were preserved in our brainwashed states."
Mamoru rubbed his temples. He was starting to get a headache. "So, what changed? You were resurrected as servants of the Dark Kingdom, and we killed you. How are you here now?"
"Er... it's a little complicated," Zoisite said, nervously scratching the back of his head. "As in, I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that the only artifact capable of resurrecting us and cleansing us is the Silver Crystal."
Mamoru groaned, trying to make sense of it all. "There was an instance when Usagi used the full power of the Silver Crystal, but it was months ago. Why are you coming back now?"
"Well, we've been back for a while," Jadeite said. "But some people—" he gave a very pointed look towards Nephrite and Zoisite—"believe that we had to wait until people started to remember us—the real us. Because apparently rushing the process can result in brain trauma or something like that." He rolled his eyes.
"This is actually happening…" Mamoru murmured. "This isn't a dream?"
Kunzite frowned. "Why would it be a dream?"
"I've dreamt of you," Mamoru said. "For the past few weeks, I've had these odd dreams—dreams of Endymion and Serenity and four guardians who were my closest friends and advisors. I thought that's all they were, dreams. I didn't think they might be memories of my past life…"
"So you do remember us, then!" Jadeite said. "See, Nephrite? No harm done, he remembered us all along."
Kunzite rolled his eyes at Jadeite's antics. "My liege, much as I would love to spend time catching up… we made our presence known for a reason. For the past few weeks, we've been carefully monitoring the new enemy, and we know what you're up against. We want to help."
Usagi sighed and buried her head in her hands. It was the middle of a Senshi meeting, and things were going nowhere. "But what now? Yes, Rubeus is dead. Yes, that was a good victory. But the Black Moon Clan is still very much a threat, as evidenced by the continual youma attacks! Isn't there anything you know?"
"I'm afraid not," Haruka said. "All we knew was that the Black Moon Clan was an evil organization from the future, led by a man named Rubeus, who sought to kill the Princess of the past, and someone else they referred to as 'rabbit', who we now know is Chibiusa. But now that Rubeus has been defeated… we're just as much in the dark as you are."
"Great," Usagi muttered. "And there was that blast of energy which freed Minako during the fight… if that wasn't one of us… who could it have been? Who else is out there?"
"I wish we could help," Michiru said. "But we're not aware of any other Senshi, or anyone else who might be helping the cause."
Usagi blew out her breath in frustration. "I guess that's it, then. All of you, keep researching. Check your sources, hunt down possible leads… do whatever you can."
The other Senshi nodded in agreement.
"We'll see what we can do," Ami promised.
As the Senshi dispersed, Usagi leaned back, resting on her elbows, looking up at the ceiling of the Hikawa Shrine. They normally had their Senshi meetings at the base under the Arcade these days, but Luna had been worried the perception filters keeping the base hidden had been on the fritz, so while she and Artemis investigated it, they were back to meeting at the Shrine.
"Everything all right?" Minako asked.
Usagi gave a small smile. "I should be asking you that. You worried us the other day, when you collapsed."
Minako blushed and looked down, wrapping her hands around the mug of tea she held. "I'm sorry about that. I guess… I just wasn't expecting it. All the times I thought I saw him, I thought I was just hallucinating, remembering the past, and unable to let go. I never expected he'd actually come back. It never occurred to me that he might be alive." She sighed. "I let it interfere with my work, and I'm sorry. It's behind me now."
"It's okay," Usagi said. "I understand, I really do. The man you love suddenly shows up again, and it throws your whole life out of balance because you don't know how to go on without him, you don't know what you are without him, and it's stupid and it hurts, but it is what it is."
"Oh, Usagi…" Minako sighed. She knew they weren't talking about Kunzite anymore.
"Why doesn't Mamoru love me anymore?" Usagi's voice cracked as she spoke. Her hands clenched into fists, and her eyes filled with tears. "Why? Why does it hurt so much? I thought I could do this, I thought I could keep myself focused on defeating the Black Moon Clan and protecting Chibiusa, and that I could keep myself in control, but I can't. I just can't!"
"Oh…" Minako couldn't think of what to say as Usagi broke down in her arms. She wished she could make it okay for her friend, she wished she could make Mamoru come to his senses, do something. Anything to make the pain stop. It broke her heart to see Usagi like this.
"Esmeraude."
"Yes, my Prince?" Esmeraude fluttered her eyelashes, smiling coyly from behind her fan.
"Rubeus has failed me. The Rabbit is still out there, as are the Senshi, and the future Neo-Queen Serenity is not by my side as my Queen. I want you to take over where Rubeus has failed. Do not disappoint me."
"Of course not, my Prince," Esmeraude purred. "I will ensure that the Senshi are eliminated once and for all." As for the future Neo-Queen Serenity, well… she had no intention of delivering her to Prince Demande, not when she had plans to be Demande's Queen. But what the Prince didn't know couldn't hurt him. If poor Sailor Moon died in a tragic accident, well… how could she, Esmeraude, have prevented it? Such things were simply beyond her control.
As she left the throne room, she threw her head back and laughed. She was the person Prince Demande trusted most to bring glory to the Black Moon Clan. Everything was going according to plan. It was only a matter of time before the Senshi were defeated, the Rabbit was dead, and she and Prince Demande ruled over the Earth and Nemesis together.
Jadeite lounged on the couch, lazily tossing a ball into the air and catching it again. "So… what next?"
"Hmm?" Zoisite peered at Jadeite from over the top of his book.
"We've revealed ourselves to Endymion," he said. "Which is great. But… are we just going to continue to sit around doing nothing? I thought we were going to help Endymion in this fight."
"We are," Zoisite said. "I'm researching the Black Moon Clan right now." He held up the book.
Jadeite rolled his eyes. "I'm not talking about research, Zoi. I want to be where the action is. And to do that, the Senshi need to know we're back and that we're on their side. What are we waiting for?"
"Nothing, I suppose," Zoisite said, frowning. "It's just… well, we need to take things slowly. We don't want to rush anything."
"But I'm tired of waiting!" Jadeite complained. "Don't you want to see Metis again? Don't you want to have the chance to explain everything, to finally have a chance to be happy together?"
"Of course I do, but—"
"But what? What are we waiting for?"
Zoisite sighed. "I… don't know."
Jadeite dropped the ball and propped himself up. "Is it because you're scared?"
"No!" Zoisite protested. "Well… maybe. Yes?" He sighed again and shook his head. "It's just… there's so much to think about, and there's so much which could go wrong, and we don't know if our lives would even work together anymore… who's to say that a star-crossed romance in our past lives would translate to modern day?"
"It did for our Prince and Princess," Jadeite argued. "And I get where you're coming from, I do. I'm terrified about seeing Enyo again and possibly finding out that things are too different. But we have to try, don't we?"
Zoisite hung his head. "You make a good point. Why must you always in these arguments?"
Jadeite grinned. "Because your smarts can't compete with my good looks, charm and wit?"
"Oh yes, I'm sure it's that." Zoisite rolled his eyes. "I don't know why your 'good looks' would help you win an argument."
Jadeite was about to respond when Kunzite poked his head in through the door. "What is all the ruckus about? I'm trying to work, unlike some people." He looked pointedly at Jadeite.
"Hey, why does everyone always assume I'm not doing anything?" Jadeite protested. "I'll have you know I've been hard at work, um…"
Kunzite raised an eyebrow. "You were saying?"
"I've been hard at work convincing Zoisite that we should formally introduce ourselves to the Senshi!" Jadeite continued. "And he agreed, so don't go on one of your long tangents about how it needs to be a group decision."
Kunzite frowned. "Well… I suppose if Zoisite agreed, then it's a majority vote… and I know Nephrite won't be too resistant to the idea anyways."
"Excellent! Let's go then." Jadeite hopped up off the couch.
"Now?"
"Is there any reason we should wait?"
"Well… I suppose not," Kunzite said.
"It's settled then," Jadeite said.
"Aren't you geniuses forgetting something?" Zoisite asked. "How are we supposed to find the Senshi?"
"Ah…" Jadeite said somewhat sheepishly. "I hadn't thought of that."
"Of course you hadn't," Zoisite scoffed.
"I'll call Endymion," Kunzite said. "He would likely know."
After a little while, Usagi stopped crying and took a deep breath, wiping away the last of her tears. "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be about you, and I've been so selfish to turn it around to the drama with Mamoru."
"Please, there's nothing selfish about it," Minako said. "You're hurting because of a very real and current event. I'm just bitter about old memories." She smiled at her friend. "Now, come on. Let's see if the others are still in the courtyard. Maybe we can do something fun, take our minds off of all this drama. See a movie or something."
"I'd like that," Usagi smiled back. Mulling over the Black Moon Clan was going nowhere; maybe a little distraction would be the perfect thing to clear their minds.
"Hey, Rei, Ami, Makoto!" Usagi called out as they walked into the courtyard, spotting her friends a short distance away. "Minako and I were just talking—"
"Um, hello?"
The unexpected voice made them all turn around. Four young men were standing not five feet away. The man who had spoken had long, curly blonde hair, and one hand was lifted in a sort of half-wave. Everyone turned to stare at him and his companions, and there was an awkward moment of silence.
The mug Minako was holding fell to the ground, shattering the silence. Then, several things happened at once. Rei let out a scream, half agony, half bloodlust. In the blink of an eye, she had an ofuda scroll in hand as she assumed a battle stance. Ami gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth and backing away slowly, her eyes wide and fearful.
Makoto was the only one who seemed relatively unaffected. She eyed the newcomers with distrust, and some other emotion Usagi couldn't quite place as she looked around at her friends.
"I—we—" the blonde haired man scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Um, I'm Zoisite and, uh…" he trailed off at the sound of footsteps as Minako turned and ran back to the shrine.
"Aphrodite, wait!" The white-haired man of the group called out, jogging after her.
"Who… are you?" Usagi asked. Suddenly, it came to her, and she gasped. "The Shitennou! How are you alive?" She put her hand on her brooch, ready to transform if needed.
"We're not evil!" the blonde-haired man, who Usagi now remembered as Zoisite, hastened to say. "It's sort of… complicated?"
"Explain." Makoto crossed her arms over her chest.
"Well…" Zoisite looked back at the other Shitennou, but it seemed they had left the explaining to him. "The short version is, back in the Silver Millennium, we were the guardians of Endymion, like you were the guardians of Princess Serenity. Queen Beryl brainwashed us, and we were corrupted into thinking we were the Shitennou of the Dark Kingdom, not the holy Shitennou of the Earth. When Queen Serenity resurrected everyone after the fall of the Moon Kingdom and sent us all to the future, we were preserved in our brainwashed state."
He sighed, and looked down. "When we worked for Queen Beryl, we were no more than puppets, blindly following her without any sense of our true identities. When we died by your hands, we were at last free. It should have been the end, but somehow… something cleansed us and brought us back. The only power I know strong enough to achieve such a feat is that of the Silver Crystal."
Usagi nodded to herself. Somehow, she must have unconsciously been aware of the Shitennou's true identities. When she lay dying after the battle with Queen Beryl and wished for things to be normal again, the Silver Crystal must have resurrected the Shitennou when it did the same for her and the Senshi.
Zoisite looked up and directly into Ami's eyes. "We never meant to hurt you. If we'd had any idea at all of who we were… please believe that hurting you was the last thing I—we—wanted to do. Please."
Ami just shook her head, her face as white as a sheet and her eyes getting, if possible, even wider. "I… I think I need to go." And with that, she turned on her heel and ran. Zoisite hesitated for a moment, then followed.
That left Nephrite and Jadeite. Rei still looked ready to attack at any moment, but Makoto's face had softened a little.
"Could I talk to you for a moment?" Nephrite asked her. "Alone?"
Makoto bit her lower lip, but slowly, eventually, she nodded. "Fine."
As Makoto and Nephrite left, Usagi glanced between Jadeite and Rei. She had absolutely no idea what was going on, but… for some reason, she was inclined to believe the Shitennou. If they had been resurrected as servants of the Dark Kingdom, why would they be trying to trick them? They'd only shown interested in killing them before. And what they'd said… they sounded truly apologetic. And if it wasn't true, how had they come up with such an intricate story?
Whatever was going on, it didn't involve her.
"I… I'll just be back at my house," she said, slowly walking away, but neither Rei nor Jadeite seemed to hear her. Rei's gaze was fixated on Jadeite, her eyes blazing with hatred as she held out an ofuda scroll towards him. Jadeite's head was drooped as he slouched, but he kept his eyes firmly on Rei.
Shaking her head, Usagi walked back to bus stop, which would take her downtown. She hoped her friends would be able to fill her in later, but for now, it seemed like something they needed to work out on their own.
Minako slammed the door behind her, collapsing against it, trying not to hyperventilate. "He's back he's back he's here, oh Kami he's here." She shook her head, as if by doing so, she could somehow rid herself of the memories. She knew he was back, but… she didn't expect them to show up. To openly reveal themselves.
"Stupid stupid stupid stupid," she muttered to herself. Of course they would show up again. Of course he'd want to try and move on. As if such a thing were possible. How could she move on from this?
"Aphrodite."
The sound of her name—her old name—made Minako shriek. "No! Go away!"
"Please, Aphrodite," he said from the other side of the door. "I just want to talk. Give me a chance to explain myself."
"Explain?" she laughed. "Explain what? Explain how you betrayed me, how you killed—" she broke off.
"I never betrayed you," he said. "I was brainwashed by Queen Beryl. Do you think I ever would have willingly hurt you? I love you, Aphrodite."
"That's not my name!" she screamed.
There was a long pause at the other end of the door. When Kunzite finally spoke, his voice was rough. "Right. I'm sorry, I... forgot. It's Minako, isn't it? I've heard your friends call you that."
Minako sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She wouldn't let him see her cry, not over him. He didn't deserve her tears. She should just turn and walk away. And yet… she shook her head.
"Please," he said, his voice rough. "Do you remember once, you asked me if I believed in soul mates?"
She did. She closed her eyes, and the memory came to her.
They were standing in the grand ballroom on the Moon, and at that moment, she didn't even care that he wasn't allowed to be there and that if anyone found out, it could mean serious trouble for the both of them. All she knew was happiness as she twirled in his arms.
"Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" she whispered.
"I think I have an idea," he said, smiling as he drew her closer. "At least, I know how much you mean to me."
She smiled, but it wasn't quite genuine. A rare moment of insecurity was plaguing her. How could she make this wonderful man understand how important he was to her? How much of an affect he'd had on her life? How she would feel if she lost him in this senseless war? She couldn't find the words. "I…" she trailed off, bit her lip. "Do you believe in soul mates?"
He crushed her against him, close enough that she could feel the beat of his heart through his shirt. "Yes. Kami, yes. And I know that you are mine. No matter what might happen, I will always find my way back to you, Aphrodite. I promise."
Back then, she'd thought it was inevitable. Their souls were intertwined, their destiny lay together, no matter the outcome, they would face it together. If lost, they would always find each other again. It never occurred to her that one day she might not want him to find her. But it had never occurred to her that he would kill her, either.
"Do you?" he asked, and she could hear the emotion in his voice, which made it so much harder to resist. She wanted to throw open the door, to collapse into his arms, to cry with happiness because he was here and he was hers.
But how could she? How could she when he was the reason behind her destruction? How could she when she remembered how it felt to have his sword between her ribs? When she remembered the exact look on his face as he slowly killed her? When she remembered how it felt to wrap her arms around him one last time before she ended it all?
She shuddered and shivered, wrapping her arms around her torso, trying to hold herself together. "Yes," she whispered. "I remember."
"Then please," he begged. "Just… just give it a chance. Give us a chance, Minako."
His use of her name, this name, was too much, and she had to stifle a sob. "I can't. I just… can't." She broke down for real then, not even caring anymore if he heard. She expected him to walk away, but when she heard him sink down on the other side of the door, she couldn't decide if she was relieved or disappointed.
Ami collapsed against the wall of the shrine, breathing hard and clutching her head. It hurt. Remembering hurt. She didn't know why, but while her friends had been remembering bits and pieces of their past lives, she hadn't. Everything was as it should have been. But then she saw him, and that was all it took for her to remember everything.
She's sitting in the library, poring over a thick volume, her eyebrows drawn together in concentration.
"Guess who?" a voice says, and suddenly she can't see.
"Zoisite," she says, her tone chiding and he removes his hands from her eyes as she turns in her chair to face him. "I'm trying to work."
"I know," he says, a sheepish grin spreading across his face. "Sorry. I just missed you."
"It's only been a few days," she says, trying to keep her tone stern, but it's hard to keep the smile off of her face. Gods, she's missed him. These past few days have been hard without him, as they've both been occupied with matters concerning the impending war.
"I'll let you get back to work, then," he says, turning to leave.
"Wait." She grabs hold of his arm before he can walk away. "Stay for awhile?"
"Okay." He grins as she move to make room for him on the armchair.
He sits down next to her, and it's awkward and uncomfortable as they're squished together, so instead he picks her up and puts her on his lap. It's not much of an improvement, as the chair is really only made to seat one, but neither wants to move to a different chair. They're together again, and that's all that matters. They need the closeness to remind themselves that they still have each other.
They continue on like that, both studying. Occasionally he'll stroke her hair or she'll lean in and steal a kiss, and a happy sigh of contentment escapes her. She's home.
If that had been all she'd remembered, perhaps things would have been different. But at the sound of his footsteps as he rounded the corner and came closer, she closed her eyes, letting the other event she'd witnessed when she saw his face swim to mind.
She's just finished fending off one of the Dark Kingdom's followers when she sees him standing there, watching her.
"Zoisite!" she cries out, and the intense relief she feels at seeing him alive nearly brings her to her knees. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Come, let's finish this together." She holds out her hand, and he walks forward, slowly, and grasps it. The second he takes her hand she realizes something is wrong, and she looks up into his eyes and gasps.
"Oh!" She'd been so wrapped up in her relief to see him that she hadn't realized that he was different. Changed. His green eyes no longer held the warmth and mirth that were always present. Instead, they were cold. Hard. And as he smiled, it wasn't the sweet, shy smile she loved so much. It was predatory.
"Die, filthy Senshi," he spat out. His grip on her wrist tightened, and she felt his cold seeping through, burning her skin.
"Please, Zoisite," she begs. "Don't make me do this. You have to still be in there somewhere. It's me, Metis. Don't you remember?" She uses her other hand to gently reach up and stroke his face. His grip on her wrist tightens, and it hurts, but she doesn't flinch. She has to get through to him.
"Your honey-coated words won't work on me," he says. "I can see the venom within. You deserve nothing less than death!" He drops her wrist and using both hands to shove her chest, summoning frost to his hands as he does so.
She stumbles to the ground, clutching at her aching chest. The cold seemed to have seeped through to her very bones, and she can't help but shiver uncontrollably.
"Pull yourself together", she tells herself firmly. She's one of the mighty Senshi, she won't allow herself to be so easily defeated. He sends a flurry of ice spikes towards her, but this time she's ready, and blocks them with her own water. Before he can retaliate, she sends a deluge of water towards him that hits him square in the chest. He stumbles, but doesn't fall.
She hauls herself to her feet, trying to ignore the aching cold. But suddenly he's there, and his hands are on her shoulders. He presses his mouth against hers, and when he breaths, shards of ice slide down her lungs. She struggles, but he's too strong, and she's getting weaker by the moment. Eventually, he lets her go, and she falls to the ground, coughing up blood and ice.
"No," she says, tears slipping down her face. Or at least, she tries to say, but she finds all she can do is cough up more shards of blood-covered ice. She knows she doesn't have much time left, her vision is already getting blurry. But as he stands over her, mocking, she thinks that she can't allow this… thing to continue masquerading as the man she loves. With the very last of her strength, she summons an ice spike of her own, and impales him, cutting off his cruel laughter as he stumbles forward, a trickle of blood running down the side of his mouth. He collapses next to her, and she reaches out a hand, trying to find his. Perhaps in death they can be together.
"Metis!" Zoisite said, panting, as he finally caught up to her. "Wait. Please. I just want to talk to you."
"Go away," she whispered. A whisper is all she could manage, she feared if she spoke any louder, her voice would crack.
"Metis—"
"My name is Ami," she snapped.
"Ami, then," he said softly. "Please, just hear me out—"
She starts to shake her head before he's finished speaking. "Look, Zoisite…" she broke off, wiling her voice not to crack as she spoke his name for the first time in so long. "I understand why you did what you did. You were under the control of Queen Beryl, no more than a pawn. You had no choice. You were just as much a victim as the rest of us. But…"
"But?" he prompted, and the hope on his face breaks her heart.
"But I can't do this," she said. "The memories are too fresh, too real. How am I supposed to move on when I remember how it felt when you murdered me?"
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, and he does look truly sorry, which only serves to shatter her heart even more.
The memories, seeing him again… it's all too much for her, and despite her careful composure, she began to cry.
"Ami…" he reached out a hand as if were going to wipe away her tears, but then seemed to think better of it, and let his hand fall awkwardly.
After a moment, she takes a deep, shuddering breath and pulls herself together. "I know that you can be a valuable ally, and we could use all the help we can get. I won't let my personal feelings interfere with that, so I hope you will still be willing to work together. Form a truce, of sorts."
His brows drew together. "How did you know what we were here to do?"
She smiled sadly. "Because I still know you, Zoisite. Whenever there's a problem, you're always at the heart of it, trying to figure out how to solve it."
"Very well, then," he said, giving an equally sad smile. "A truce."
AN: Please review!
Also, for those of you wondering about the names... I'm using the names I gave the Senshi in my Silver Millennium story, A Life Once Forgotten, as those were their names in their past lives in my headcanon. They are:
Ami = Metis
Rei = Enyo
Makoto = Athena
Minako = Aphrodite
