[chapter_13]

Bella is the first one at the dorm. She knows this because of the slightly stale air that greets her when the opens the door, because of the bathroom light being off and both bedroom doors closed, because everything is neat and tidy and exactly as she left it when she ventures into the room that will be hers until Leah returns in the fall. Bella is the first in the dorm and it is the first time in a long time that she feels lonely in the room. Even when the others are in class or at the library or in their own space, the dorm never feels empty like this. But there's no denying that, even though all their stuff is still here, the space is vacant.

The first thing she does, after setting down her cactus and dragging her suitcase to her bed, is go through and open the windows in the suite. The fresh, warm breeze of summer brings a welcome chill into the room. She putters around for a while, unpacking, sorting through the materials she needs to pick up at the campus bookstore for her classes, dusting the shelves, trying to keep busy and be productive. God knows that when Alice's plane lands tonight she won't be able to do any of the necessary housekeeping.

Bella should be cherishing these moments when the dorm is quiet and clean, but all she can think about is how empty the rest of campus is. Summer semesters are common and classes are always full, but that doesn't mean there aren't fewer students. Compared to how busy and dense campus usually is, the summer semester might as well be a ghost town.

She's exaggerating. It isn't that dramatic. But it sure feels like it. It's just the oddity of the summer semester that she has to get used to again. She'll acclimate.

Until then - and until Alice gets back - Bella does what she can to make her life easier in the next couple of days. Tutoring Joshua Weber didn't pocket as much money as she thought it would, and even with the envelop of cash her dad gave her, she knows the smart thing to do is to make sure she overestimates her living expenses - which means continue to bring in extra revenue. The money in the envelop is put away in a safe space, in case of emergency; anything else she needs that isn't covered by tuition will have to come from Twitch. It's fine. She'll manage. She's luckier than most, she knows.

Bella checks the time. The campus bookstore is open and she has time to kill. She runs over to collect the texts she needs for her next three classes, stocking up on highlighters and Sour Patch Kids while she's there. She takes a detour on her way back, stopping by the library to pick out supplementary materials - nobody could ever accuse her of being a poor student. By the time she makes it back to the dorm, there is a stark difference to how she left it.

Alice must have only just arrived, but already the space if filled with vibrancy and what appears to be a suitcase that managed to explode right in the middle of the common room. There is music playing from somewhere and she can hear Alice fussing in the bathroom, the plastic clunk of bath products being organized into cubbies.

"Alice?"

A gasp, followed by the sound of something being dropped. "Bella?" Alice bounces out of the bathroom, round face lit up with happiness. Her Mississippi drawl is thicker than before, as it always is when she returns to campus, something that will take a week or so to wear itself away. "Bella! You're here! I'm here and you're here! Oh, I missed you so much!"

Alice is squeezing her ribs a tad too tight, but Bella returns the hug. They're almost the same height, she and Alice, and it's nice to be around someone her size after spending a month surrounded by people who make her feel like a dwarf despite her perfectly average height. "I missed you too, Ali," Bella says warmly.

Alice gushes about her time back home, effusive in her enthusiasm as she prattles about the old plantation-turned-hotel, about the blueberry crop, about Granny and Papa and the hoard of tiny cousins that follow her around like ducklings. At some point, she unearths a triple-wrapped foam cask of blueberries, which burst tangy-sweet in Bella's mouth as she listens raptly to her friend. Bella chimes in here and there with her own summer, the things that didn't make it into texts and Twitter updates, lounged back on one of the beanbags in the common room. Alice drapes herself over Bella's legs, giggling at how poorly Seth tried to hide Pistachio and it's - it's great. It's almost as good as being home or having Leah by her side.

The dorm is less empty now, and Bella can finally relax. She's home again, in her home away from home.


Bella Swan ʘthelittlecygnet
Me right now
(Gif Attachment:
Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
bloated up like a blueberry and being rolled away by Oompa-Loompas.)

Alice Bee ʘaliceseesyou
Have any of you seen someone eat 2 lbs of blueberries in one sitting because I have and wow

L Clearwater ʘClearlyFlimingThis
Tbh sounds like a very Bella thing to do

Peter C. ʘpeteypete
Hey ʘmaestro is 2lbs a lot? It sounds like a lot #impressive #scary #nomnomnom


Bella's phone rings - like, actually rings, not pings with a notification - early Saturday afternoon on the weekend right before the summer semester starts. The ringtone is Leah's handiwork, because in no universe would Bella set her own ringer as the theme from Psycho, and she certainly wouldn't set it for her mom of all people. And yet, when Bella lunges for her phone halfway across the room with some amount of confusion, she sees that it is Renee calling and automatically assumes that Leah's more passive aggressive side has once again shown itself.

It's petty to set this ringtone for Renee. Petty, but not necessarily incorrect.

Bella…doesn't have a great relationship with her mom. It's complicated, the whole thing, because Renee is a mother who never wanted to be a mom - and had made that known for Bella's entire life. Renee wants to be a friend or a cool aunt. But a mother? No. Renee isn't suited for it, not in any way. She's barely even qualified to be anything to Bella, because the last time she'd actually seen her mom had been more than five years ago, probably closer to ten. And that last time hadn't been anything stellar or positive. Renee had spent the whole time advising Bella on how to use "those looks I passed down to you, baby, because what mama gave you can get you anything you want".

Renee's whole philosophy in life is, as best as Bella can estimate, to use her physical beauty to her advantage. Renee is vapid and cares about material things - people for her are tools, or things to play with. Every few years she'll get married to some poor fool with deep pockets, and then switch to someone new when she gets bored. Bella thinks her current husband is some guy named Phil, who apparently plays baseball. Or maybe not. Bella has given up trying to keep track.

Bella doesn't have a great relationship with her mom, but it's rare that Renee bothers to call instead of sending a scattershot email. So Bella draws in a deep breath and answers the phone.

"Hi, Mom," she says awkwardly, backing up and sitting down on her bed, fingers already playing with the hem of her cotton shorts.

"Bella! Hi, baby! Oh, how's my girl doing?" Renee barely pauses for air before she continues, and Bella doesn't bother injecting with her own answer, simply lets Renee babble as she is wont to do. "I've been traveling around with Phil, you know, with the baseball league and my, my, my do these boys play hard. It's so impressive, baby. They just keep going and going!"

"That's great, Mom," Bella mumbles.

"Baby, you should come down and check it out. You're on your summer break, aren't you? Come down to Florida and see these boys!"

Bella bites her lip. "Actually, I'm on campus," she says haltingly. She can already predict Renee's reaction to this news. "I'm doing summer courses."

True to form, Renee brays rudely. "School in the summer? Baby, that's no way to live! You're young and beautiful - you don't need school!"

"I like school," Bella says, something she has been repeating for years and years.

Renee, of course, doesn't get it. "Bella, Bella," she says, brash and condescending, even if unwittingly. "Baby, when you're beautiful you don't need to be smart. One or the other is good enough. What's all that hard work for, anyway? You're wasting the best years of your life with books."

"Computers, actually," Bella says sharply. Her fingers curl around the glass of her phone and she breathes in deeply to keep herself collected. "You know I'm studying computers and-"

Renee clicks her tongue. "That's men's work," she insists. "Pretty girls don't need to know any of those things. Baby, don't waste your beauty. It doesn't last forever, you know. Trying so hard to be smart and keep up with the boys is ridiculous!"

Bella presses her lips together. It's an old argument. Renee has some shockingly antiquated views on the role of women in the world. By Renee's reckoning, women need only be physically beautiful to have value - and this is probably one of the core reasons why Bella eschews the notion so thoroughly. To think that her only value is in her relative level of attractiveness, when she has so much more to offer is just…unfathomable. Of course, Renee Higginbotham, a former beauty queen who dragged herself out of a podunk town and freed herself of the chains of motherhood for bigger, better, shinier prospects, had cultivated an entire life out of doing just that.

How Renee and Sue were ever close enough to be good friends when they are such polar opposites is beyond Bella. She'll never understand it, just like she'll never understand the way her own mother can so callously undercut her intelligence just because Bella happens to be conventionally pretty. And not even for a reason that makes sense! After all, just like Renee says, beauty fades eventually - so wouldn't it be better if Bella spent her time wisely, creating a space for her to exist when being pretty is no longer an option?

If not for the strong resemblance between them - their bone structure, their body shapes, the shared generous smattering of freckles - Bella wouldn't think she and her mother are related at all. But as it is, because this is her mom, every word Renee utters is just another cut of the knife.

Bella tries so hard to be more than what can be seen on the surface - and all Renee does is tell her that it's the surface that matters more than anything else.

Shouldn't have answered the phone, Bella thinks, ice forming around her heart, slipping cool into her veins and her voice as she cuts off Renee, who has spent the last however many minutes trying to wheedle Bella into abandoning her classes to go to Florida, where she assumes she will be tasked with doing nothing but appreciating men all day.

"I have to go, Mom," she says tersely. She doesn't even care that Renee is sputtering in shock at the interruption. "I'll talk to you later."

Bella hangs up and hopes that Renee won't call for a few months - and tries not to feel totally awful for it.


Bell Bell
Mom called again

Lee Lee
Oh damn
You okay

Bell Bell
Yeah
It's the same as always

Lee Lee
Renee Higginbotham
Setting back the feminist movement
singlehandedly

Bell Bell
That's Renee

Lee Lee
Sorry bb

Bell Bell
Me too

Lee Lee
Love you sis

Bell Bell
Always


Even after she completes her Twitch stream as Swanning, Bella is still feeling discombobulated because of everything that Renee said. It's stupid and childish, but all Bella has ever wanted from Renee is some sense of validation - which she'll never get, no matter how much she hopes for it, but she can't seem to stop herself from yearning for it, either. It leaves her stomach upset and her appetite poor, which is saying something since Bella can always summon an appetite.

It's not the best mindset to approach the tournament semi-finals with, but there isn't much she can do about it.

Resigned - decidedly not pouting - Bella trundles all of her Swanning equipment into it's correct storage container, then drags herself into her room, closing the door firmly behind her. Leah isn't here, but some of her clothes are, and Bella doesn't hesitate to help herself to one of her sister's absurdly oversized Studio Ghibli sweatshirts. Warmed by familiarity and fond memories - almost as if Leah is here to give her a sorely-needed hug - Bella then sets up her laptop on her bed. She has her back supported by the wall, legs stretched out straight with the laptop perched on her thighs, her best mouse plugged in with the mouse pad sitting right by her hip. She puts on her blue-light canceling glasses as a last-ditch attempt to ward off the headache that has been building as a result of her need - and stubborn refusal - to cry.

She has a tournament to win. She can cry later and dig out the emergency stash of chocolate she has in her desk to properly wallow in how broken her mother-daughter relationship is. But that's for later - now, it's time for the semi-finals.

Bella logs onto Dawn of Warcraft on her Swansong account and takes herself directly to the Arena, mere minutes before one of the other rounds is set to start.

Swansong: sorry I'm late

Master Culler: no problem

Master Culler: is everything okay?

Swansong: yeah

It's the first time she's lied to Master Culler. She doesn't like the way it sits in her stomach, another heavy weight that churns there. But she isn't sure - well, she could talk to Master Culler about it, she supposes, but what could he do? And would he even care? They only allied to win this competition. She's certain that as soon as she's no longer useful, he will cancel their alliance and move on. She expects nothing more and nothing less.

She pretends the mere thought isn't upsetting, chalks the tightness in her chest up to her lingering soreness over Renee's remarks.

The semi-final round is disappointingly average. Their opponents aren't any players she recognizes and their playing is undisciplined, which probably means that they were mere lucky breaks who had good fortune to make it this far. Swansong and Master Culler wipe the floor with them in half the challenge time, but it isn't satisfying at all.

Or maybe Bella just isn't satisfied by it. Is her objective opinion too harsh right now? It might be. She doesn't quite feel like her head is screwed on right and she knows she should just log off and do what she can to put herself to rights but - before she can stop herself, her fingers are flying across the keys after she and Master Culler leave the Arena.

Swansong: can I ask you a personal question?

Master Culler: always

Always? Well, that's certainly a promise. She tries not to be doubtful, because Master Culler doesn't have a habit of saying things he doesn't mean, but…

Swansong: do you have trouble with your parents?

Swansong: you don't have to answer

Master Culler answers swiftly, as if she has his full attention. It's flattering, in a way. He's a good friend, isn't he? Even if he's only a temporary partner for her, even if their alliance will end in the near future, she will never be able to doubt that he was a good friend to her.

Master Culler: family is always difficult

Master Culler: I've been fortunate that my adoptive parents are very supportive

Swansong: oh

Swansong: I didn't know…

Master Culler: they were my godparents before, so I always knew them

Master Culler: they're exceptional people, but every family has expectations, my grandfather in particular

Master Culler: is that what you mean?

Bella stares at the screen for a beat, trying to reconcile this new bit of information about Master Culler. He's being very forthright about his personal information right now, meeting her tit for tat, but it's still surprising. It makes him…seem more human to her. This is Master Culler, not just a master player and an unrivalled tactician, but also a person with his own struggles.

Swansong: having expectations?

Swansong: more like a lack of expectations

Swansong: my mom seems to think I'm not smart enough for school

Swansong: she thinks I should stop wasting my youth and do what she did

Master Culler: what did she do?

Swansong: married rich

Swansong: well actually she married poor, had me, left us, and then married rich

Master Culler: sounds complicated

Swansong: complicated sums up my relationship with her

Bella sighs, gnawing on her lip. She can't believe she's actually bothering Master Culler about this, but it's even more unbelievable that he's entertaining it. He'd never struck her as the type to take on any supporting roll, not even when he's humoring her with nonsensical conversations about the advantages of cats and cat memes.

This is a new side of Master Culler and she isn't sure what to make of it. But that doesn't mean she's going to pass up an opportunity for a new perspective - because Leah and her roommates and her family have all said their piece, and Bella can't help but think maybe fresh eyes will find a new opinion for her to adopt.

Swansong: I just want her to be proud of me

Swansong: it's silly

Master Culler: it's not silly, it's human

Master Culler: but if you ask me, trying to make other people proud is an easy way to step on your own pride

Swansong: that's pretty wise

Master Culler: don't you already believe the same?

Master Culler: weren't you the one who said your reputation doesn't define your worth?

He pays attention, she thinks with muted awe, because when had she said that? Back with Hive? That was several weeks ago - even Bella had forgotten about it. Master Culler remembers, though. What does that mean? He just has a good memory?

Swansong: I guess I did say that…

Master Culler: take your own advice

Swansong: thanks for the reminder

Master Culler: anytime

Swansong: do you mean that?

Master Culler: do I mean what?

Swansong: that I can come to you anytime for advice?

Master Culler: of course

Master Culler: I'm at your disposal, do with me what you will

Inexplicably, Bella blushes hotly. He's at her disposal? She can do with him what she will? Who even says that? And so seriously too?

But the thing is, Bella doesn't know what to do with Master Culler. He's unlike anyone she's ever known and she's starting to realize that maybe she doesn't know what to do with that. For now, she supposes it's just nice to be reassured of such steadfast friendship.

Everyone can use more friends, right?


Piping Hot Tea (Group Chat)

Thorny
So is everyone alive over there

Paparazzi
I haven't heard any complaints
And its suspect af

Thorny
Surely there's something to bitch about

Paparazzi
With those two angels?
Dream on, bish

Short Cake
Who are angels?

Thorny
You and Bella

Short Cake
Aww that's so nice!

Sleep Talker
Wait wait
Are we supposed to be
complaining about something

Paparazzi
You mean you aren't
You have NOTHING to complain about
You know you're living with alice right

Short Cake
Hey!
I'm not awful to live with!

Thorny
Well

Paparazzi
I mean

Sleep Talker
It is a little messy
But its confined to one room
So

Short Cake
Its not that messy
You're just too neat

Sleep Talker
Is that possible

Short Cake
If I just said so it must be!

Paparazzi
Alright
Look
I appreciate that you're trying
But these aren't complaints

Short Cake
They're not?

Thorny
No! not really
I'm so disappointed

Sleep Talker
This is what happens when you
come looking for drama

Short Cake
Lol bella's right

Thorny
Youre both really boring, jsyn

Sleep Talker
:) :) :)


On the first day of classes, Alice comes back to the dorm in a right snit, huffing and puffing and uncharacteristically flustered.

Bella happens to be in the common room looking over all the syllabi for her classes and inputting everything important into her Google calendar - something that is much easier to initially manage on the computer. She startles when Alice bursts into the dorm and flinches when the door slams, but her instinct to chide dies right on her tongue when she catches sight of Alice's face.

"Ali?" Bella stands from the desk, abandoning her little project in an instant.

"Bella!" Alice wails, and promptly throws herself into Bella's arms. Much to Bella's alarm, of course, because not only is Alice clearly fighting off tears, she is also limping and in some amount of physical pain, too.

"Ali, what happened?" Bella asks, even as she eases Alice onto one of the bean bag chairs, looking her over with a critical eye. There, right on the side of her bare thigh, is a burst of red, a smack on her skin that will surely bloom into a nasty bruise. Her knee is a little scrapped, too, and the palm of her hand. Did she fall?

"He's awful!" Alice cries, and finally tears of frustration spill over her wide, round eyes. "I've never met a more disagreeable boy in my life, and that's saying something because the good ole' boys down South are somethin' else! But this guy!"

Bella blinks at the thick drawl that crawls into Alice's voice. She's really upset about whatever happened. Pressing her lips together, Bella tries to determine the best course of action. Well. First thing's first - if Alice is hurt, then she might need medical attention. So, kneeling just to the side of the beanbag, Bella asks, "Do we need to go to the med center, Ali?"

Alice sniffles, seeming considering this question deeply. She bends her knee with a wince, but shakes her head. "No. I don't think so."

"Are you sure? Does it hurt a lot?"

"It's just a lil' scrape," Alice murmurs, downcast as she passes her palm over her bruising skin. "Maybe some ice?"

Bella springs up, glad to have some way to help. They have these instant-ice things stacked on top of the mini-fridge in the corner of the common room, useful for the occasional stubbed-toe or headache. She unpacks one, bending it down the middle, and just like a glow-stick, the packet begins to rapidly cool. She passes it to Alice, then sits beside her on another beanbag, pillowing her cheek in her palm and giving her full, undivided attention.

"So…?"

Alice purses her lips, pressing the ice to her leg. "I fell," she says.

"Yeah, I figured," Bella returns. "But why did you fall?"

Alice puffs her cheeks out. "Well, you know I'm retaking that art history class? The one from fall semester?" At Bella's nod, she continues, talking faster and faster as she gets into her monologue. "Okay, so, I happened to be a itsy bit late because the coffee kiosk was backed up, but I figured I could just sneak in the back because I know this professor and he might have failed me, but he's also kind of cool? Anyway, I get to the class and lo and behold the class is completely full! I mean, it's a smaller classroom because it's summer, but I didn't expect so many people to take the class, you know?"

"Uh huh."

"Right? Anyway, I'm in the back with my coffee and I see an empty seat, so I sneak over, trying not to draw attention, and ask the guy sitting over to scoot over to make room. And he ignores me, like I wasn't even there!" Alice exclaims in disbelief. "So I go, Please scooch so I can have a seat, and he finally looks up at me with these ridiculous glasses that don't even go with his bone structure and he says, You should have been on time. And I was like, Well, I'm here now so I need a seat! And he just shrugs and goes right back to ignoring me! So, obviously by now people have noticed, but the professor is still going on. I figure, if this guy won't move then I'll just move over him, right?"

With a keen sense of dread, Bella already knows where this story is going. She knows Alice as someone who often does outlandish things, but always with a sort of innocence that makes her actions harmless, if not entertaining. She also knows that Alice is an acquired taste, and she doesn't think this guy from her story is the type to give Alice any leeway. And she's right.

"So, what I do is take off my bag and toss it into the seat. And then I, well, I kind of climb over him to get to the seat, only he gets all out of sorts about this and ends up pushing me," Alice says animatedly. "But when he pushes me down, I lose grip of my coffee, which ends up on his head while I end up on the floor with a sore hip and even sorer pride."

Bella's eyes widen. "Was the coffee hot?"

"No," Alice says, somewhat sullen. "It was iced. I wish it was hot, though. He earned it, that good-for-nothing boy. Because of him we both got kicked out of the first class. And Bella, you know I can't afford to be repeating this class! It was so mortifying!"

Bella hums sympathetically. "Sounds like it, huh? I'm sorry, Ali."

"Yeah, me too," Alice pouts, readjusting the ice. "I mean, I only have this one class to do this summer, so I'm sure I'll be able to pass - but attendance is so important, and I'm already having to juggle because of the internship! That awful boy just added to my problems."

Bella nods in agreement. This guy in Alice's story certainly wasn't helpful - even if Alice was late, why not just move over so that she wouldn't continue to be disruptive? Bella wrinkles her nose at the thought of encountering someone like that. How unpleasant!

"You'll just have to be early to the next class so you can sit far away from him," Bella decides after a moment. "You only have that class twice a week, right?"

"Yeah," Alice sighs. "It works fine with my internship schedule, at least. Did you know my commute is going to be two hours both ways? I'll be on BART six hours every week. My God, I'll have so much time to study!"

In hindsight, Bella is relieved to not have gotten the Denali internship. Unlike Alice, she doesn't have a whole lot of time this semester to spend commuting all the way to Concord and back three times a week. If either of them had a car, it might be a different story - but as it is, like most college students, they rely on public transit, and that means a longer time jumping between busses and light rail trains. At least Alice really will have time to study this summer, instead of getting distracted by something else like she is prone to. What else is Alice going to do on a commute? One can only scroll through social media for so long.

"Just think of it like this," Bella says with some cheer. "At least you'll be off campus enough that you probably won't risk running into that guy again."

Alice snorts, then titters at herself, and Bella joins in. The bruise to her leg and to her pride is quickly forgotten.


(Gmail)

To: Bella Swan
From: Heidi H.

Hello Ms. Swan,

First, on behalf of Volturi Inc., I would like to congratulate you on winning the 2020 Video Contest hosted by the Dawn of Warcraft Official Forum. Myself and my associates were impressed by your video.

As you know, part of the prize is the sale of your video concept to Volturi for future use - however, as the winner, you have access to the grand prize. Given the quality of your video, we are prepared to offer you several packages of your choice.

Please look over the attached document and get back to me with the prize package you prefer.

Happy gaming,

Heidi
Vice President of Marketing
Volturi Incorporated


Bella is both relieved and gratified to find Master Culler already online when she logs in. It isn't one of their training days or a day where they have a set time to meet, so she thinks the fact that they are both online at the same time is an excellent sign - they both love the game so much that every spare moment is spent there, even so late in the night when they should both probably be sleeping.

At times like this, Bella considers that it would be convenient to have Master Culler's contact information so that she wouldn't have to wait for him to pop up online - but, she isn't bold enough to ask and he hasn't offered. This is fine. They're only gaming friends. She doesn't have Janeway's number; she doesn't need Master Culler's, either.

Bella pulls up their private chat dialogue without bothering to transport Swansong to Master Culler's area of the map. She quickly relates to him the good news of Volturi, the makers of Dawn of Warcraft, contacting her about the prize from the contest. When she explains the prize packages - six different tempting combinations - he begins to insist that she pick whatever prize she wants, and to not worry about anyone else.

Bella tries to refuse, because surely Master Culler wants some sort of prize? But Master Culler will not be moved or persuaded.

Swansong: I really feel like we should share the prize

Master Culler: no need

Swansong: no need?

Swansong: it's not just my video!

Master Culler: it was your idea though

Swansong: except for the ending!

Swansong: you should take credit for it!

Master Culler: really, no need

Well. If he won't choose a prize, then Bella will just choose for both of them - and then it can be a surprise later on. She knows which prize draws her eye the most, the one with the two rare tiger monsters and a handful of exceptionally rare equipment. Just enough to share, she thinks.

The private message dings with a new notification, drawing Bella from her fledgling plans.

Master Culler: I'm Master Culler

Master Culler: I have enough credit and distinction

Bella's mouth drops open, and then she giggles, incredulous at the sheer arrogance of her friend. Even in jest, which is what she thinks this is meant to be, it's still utterly absurd to be so self-assured. She decides to tease back.

Swansong: and a massive ego lol

Master Culler: that too

Swansong: so you will share the prize then?

Master Culler: no

Swansong: D:

Swansong: why not?

Master Culler: because I want my spouse to have the prize

Bella can feel the heat rise on her cheeks at Master Culler's bluntness and bites her lip. He's obviously still joking with her, continuing their chat with levity, and there is no reason to be flustered at the reminder that they are in-game spouses. It's a simple statement of fact!

All the same, she chews on her lip for a beat longer before she can summon a response, and even then she finds it lackluster.

Swansong: oh

Swansong: well if you're insisting

Master Culler: I am

Swansong: okay then

Swansong: I still think you should take the prize that you earned

Swansong: but I see I can't talk you out of it

Master Culler: you can't

Swansong: you're very stubborn

Master Culler: I can be

Master Culler: I have to be sometimes

Sensing the change in his mood, even online, Bella's awkwardness dissipates. It's a somewhat rare thing that Master Culler should leave an opening like that - of the two of them, she is definitely more prone to keeping a chat going. That Master Culler has made that last deliberate response says something to Bella. He has something on his mind, she just knows it.

Swansong: any reason in particular lately?

Master Culler: let's just say some people need more convincing than others

Swansong: that sounds ominous

Which is a total understatement. Some people needing convincing sounds like something the Godfather would say and is, by Master Culler's standards, almost unbelievably dramatic.

Master Culler: it isn't meant to be, but I suppose it is

Swansong: is it your business?

Swansong: or should I not be asking?

Master Culler: I don't mind telling you

Master Culler: there are issues with investors caused by a third party

Master Culler: resolving it is challenging

Swansong: oh no

Swansong: is your business in trouble?

Master Culler: hardly

Master Culler: this is annoying, not impossible

Bella stifles a smile. It figures that Master Culler would be as confident in all other aspects of life as he is confident in the game. It's not even remotely surprising - but it does make her wonder, just for a flicker of a moment, what Master Culler is like in real life. How does he really handle himself?

She's curious about it. Just a little.

Swansong: it's good that you have it handled

Master Culler: naturally

Swansong: lol

Swansong: there's that ego again

Master Culler: yes, I can't seem to get rid of it

Swansong: I don't think you're even trying to! lol

Master Culler: is there any point?

Master Culler: ego can be useful

Maybe, she concedes silently. Being confident one's abilities can be useful, but she isn't sure that having an ego about it is the same. Or maybe it is? Her own ego being wounded by that awful video certainly inspired some new action from her. Is it the same for Master Culler? She thinks it probably is - her friend has a lot of pride, it seems. Though, unlike Relentless, he doesn't seem to let it get to his head.

Master Culler might have an ego, but it's a tempered ego.

Swansong: how pragmatic of you

Master Culler: practical

Swansong: is there a difference?

Master Culler: I guess not

Master Culler: :)

Swansong: is that an EMOJI?

Master Culler: my hand slipped

Bella bursts out laughing, and doesn't stop for long enough that Alice, on the other side of the dorm, is roused from her sleep. And the next morning, Alice proves to be remarkably shameless in teasing her about how close you and your husband are, seemingly able to easily ignore the way Bella flusters and blusters.

"He's my friend!" Bella says again and again.

"Yeah, honey, I know," Alice says, patting her arm. "I blush when I talk to all my friends, too."

"Just friends!" Bella insists.

Alice simply smiles and nods, and Bella knows that Alice doesn't believe her one bit. But it's true! She and Master Culler are just friends - gaming friends who are close and who happen to share the same sense of humor and the same interests. That's what friends are and there's nothing suspect about it, at all.

Master Culler is her friend - and that's the end of it.


Lee Lee
Okay so something really weird happened
Maybe not weird
Just
Idk

Bell Bell

Did you catch mom and dad…

Lee Lee
GROSS NO I DIDN'T

Bell Bell
Then whatever happened cant be that weird

Lee Lee
THAT ISN'T A GREAT MEASUREMENT
LIKE ONE IS WEIRD AND ONE IS SCARRING

Bell Bell
Okay drama queen
So what is it?

Lee Lee
I was at the res today right
And out of nowhere Old Quill pulls me aside
And he's like, I heard you did that march

Bell Bell
What, on Indigenous People's Day?
Last year?

Lee Lee
Right? Like who told him?
But that's not the weird part

Bell Bell
How is that not the weird part?!

Lee Lee
So Old Quill is all, it's great to see activism
And he's like, why in my youth blah blah blahApparently Old Quil was kind of a badass
Did you know he got arrested at a protest?

Bell Bell
Old Quill, as in the nicest elder in the world?
Are you kidding?

Lee Lee
It's true!
He tells me this story about his activism
way back in the 70s at Ft. Lawton
And then he's like, I'm so glad activism lives on in you

Bell Bell
Cool lol
Okay and then?

Lee Lee
AND THEN he's like, I heard you make videos

Bell Bell
Old Quill is really up on the gossip huh

Lee Lee
Right?
So then he's all, why don't you
use your activism here
And obviously I'm like, well I have already

Bell Bell
Yeah you organized those care
packages for Standing Rock
And then with immersion program here

Lee Lee
See, I tell him this, but Old Quill doesn't care
He's like, so I got into contact with VMM for you
APPARENTLY Old Quill thinks I should make a video
about La Push
Like
An actual documentary about the res
For freakin' PBS

Bell Bell
Wait what

Lee Lee
He's already contacted the people at VMM
They're waiting for me to submit SOMETHING
Idk what though!

Bell Bell
Old Quill why?

Lee Lee
That's what I want to know!

Bell Bell
But I guess it's a good thing
You did want to make movies

Lee Lee
Yeah but not this soon!

Bell Bell
You can always say no

Lee Lee
After Old Quill went through all that trouble?
Yeah, not even I'm that bad lol
I guess I'll call VMM back and, like, talk to them
About making a film
Which is so weird

Bell Bell
I think it's great!
:)

Lee Lee
Yeah yeah


The night before the final match-up in the NorCal server, Bella is running Swansong through the completion of her daily quests when she gets a private message from Master Culler. Apparently one of his friends - Pestulant, Bella would bet - has been trolling the forum for the grand reveal of all the finalists on all the servers and had immediately reported who Master Culler and Swansong would be up against the following evening. Bella is amused - and a bit chagrined - that the other finalists are Nash and Valkner. They're good players and they deserve to be there, of course, but it is a little ironic that the other finalists are the same players they went against in the qualifiers.

When she says as much to Master Culler, he says that he expected nothing else. For Bella, she takes that to mean that he'd done the master strategist thing and watched all narrowed down the most likely winners from the rest of the herd. She wouldn't be surprised to find out that is exactly the case.

Master Culler is exactly that type of player. She thinks it's thrilling, almost as thrilling as the reality that they really made it to the final round for their server. She almost can't contain herself, wiggling in thinly-restrained glee. All that hard work, all that strategizing, and they made it.

Swansong: I'm so excited!

Swansong: do you think we'll win?

Master Culler: obviously

Bella rolls her eyes at his response. What must it be like to walk through life that confident every day? She can't imagine. She's confident herself, but it's a humbled confidence - she knows and trusts in herself, and that's enough. Master Culler is on another level, always skirting the line of being over-arrogant. But it's charming, in a way.

Swansong: don't be too cocky

Master Culler: I'm not

Master Culler: it's a fair assessment, don't you think?

Swansong: Nash and Valkner know how we play

Swansong: beating them once doesn't mean beating them always

Master Culler: they won't be able to keep up

Her brows rise at his insistence. After all, Nash and Valkner made it into the finals, too - but Master Culler doesn't think they'll be able to keep up? Even if they beat Nash and Valkner in the qualifiers, it stands to reason that their opponents would have improved over the last few weeks. Right? Except Master Culler seems to disagree.

Bella will remain more cautious for now. Experience says to never underestimate an opponent, because anyone can come up with a surprise or a new tactic. And in duels, all it takes is one clever second to get the upper hand.

Swansong: you act like we already have it in the bag

Master Culler: you're my partner

Master Culler: of course we'll win

Bella's cheeks warm with a furious blush, her heart somersaulting in her chest. Her pulse flutters with something like embarrassment, maybe. Master Culler can really lay on the flattery when he feels like it - and she doesn't know what to do with it, not that he even gives her a chance this time.

Master Culler: I have to take a call

Master Culler: but I'll meet you at 7.45 tomorrow to prepare

Master Culler logs off before she can reply, but she still sends her last message. It'll be waiting for him the next time he logs on.

Swansong: see you then :)


[Twitter]

Trending Hashtags

#cancelcancelculture

#anxietyislike

#DOWfinals

#ProwlingAtPride

#alwaysdrivesafe

#PaloAltoPileup


Swansong loiters just outside the Arena at 7:45, just as she and Master Culler agreed. Lots of other avatars are eking through the entrance, gamers who have bought tickets to see the final match for the NorCal server. Swansong is standing beneath a big cypress tree, so she isn't sure how many people see her - but she knows she is visible enough that Master Culler can easily find her and her jewel-toned armor easily enough.

The clock ticks over to 7:50 and Bella starts growing a little concerned. Master Culler is never late - not to a singled planned meeting or training session. He's online as much as she is, if not more. And he is always, always early, which is another thing they share in common.

Where can he be? Held up by his business? Yes, that's probably it. She shoots him a quick message anyway, even after she sees that he's not online.

By 7:55, Bella is worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, straining her skin white as she searches for Master Culler's avatar futilely - futile, because she can clearly see that he's not online, and because none of his friends are online either. Pythagoras, Pestulant, and Hermit are all absent, and when she sends each of them a message inquiring about Master Cullen, she is met with deadened silence.

7:58

7:59

The public chat is already screaming. This is a big deal - Master Culler hasn't shown up to the finals, but Swansong is standing outside the Arena, obviously waiting. There's a lot of speculation that makes her stomach twist, most of it overdramatic. Did Swansong and Master Culler have a fight? Is this going to be another fight in the tournament where a team is going to forfeit, like Relentless and Queen V? Players are getting angry, because they paid money to see this final match and it looks like there won't be a match at all.

It's 8, the official starting time for the match, and Bella swallows heavily. She is deeply and profoundly nervous. All of her messages are unanswered; Master Culler is still offline; and she has only three minutes to get into the Arena before there is an automatic forfeit.

"What do I do?" she murmurs, teeth scraping over her bottom lip. "What should I do?"

What would Master Culler do?

8:01

Well. Master Culler isn't here - but if he was, she thinks he wouldn't let their hard work go to waste. It has her stomach churning with unease, but she still walks Swansong into the Arena, not willing to let these players waste their money, but more so not willing to let Master Culler down.

8:02

Maybe he'll show up.

She takes a deep breath and closes out the public chat, unwilling to see what everyone is saying as Swansong steps onto the platform. Alone. Without her partner. Against two of the best players on the server.

8:03

Bella knows she's good - as a player, she is skilled, with an action-per-minute rate that rivals any decent professional gamer. Playing alongside Master Culler, who is just as good and who packs a tactical punch punctuated by sophisticated equipment, they are a formidable pair. But playing alone, against Valkner and Nash, who have both spent the last month streamlining their skills and their fledgling partnership?

Bella is good, but she is no match for two players of equal caliber. Maybe one she could handle head-on, but two? No. It's not possible.

Swansong enters the Arena, but not with the intention of winning. She'll put up a fight for as long as she can, hopefully dole out enough damage to stand up to her own reputation, but she will lose. She enters the Arena knowing she will lose.

She doesn't mind the losing.

She minds not knowing where Master Culler is.

At least Valkner and Nash give her mercy, making the battle quick and almost painless to her pride. Bella stares at the screen when it's over, while Swansong is respawning at her set point, and feels tears burning at the back of her eyes.

Where is Master Culler?


[Twitter]

Palo Alto Online ʘpaloaltoweekly
Recent Stanford grad involved in late night pile-up. The four-way crash involved a driver with DUI history - all people involved have been admitted to Stanford Medicine. Follow for updates on this story.

JV ʘnotmyname
I heard it was some famous guy

Lu Ellen ʘlululolly
That's awful. But a donut truck was involved so free donuts lol

Damn Damon ʘdamonclark
What famous guy ʘnotmyname

JV ʘnotmyname
A recent grad that was famous on campus

Ironia ʘirinatheirionic
ʘnotmyname It wasn't Masen Cullen right? It doesn't say in the article

JV ʘnotmyname
Cullen sounds right. My cousin works in the ER there and said one of the doctors was trying to treat his bro - both named Cullen

Ironia ʘirinatheironic
Holy crap! ʘdenaliprincess Are you seeing this?

Alice Bee ʘaliceseesyou
ʘthelittlecygnet Isn't this awful news?

Bella Swan ʘthelittlecygnet
I hope he's okay


After the first day, Bella assumes that something came up with Master Culler's company. She knows it's a start-up and, knowing what she does about the pace of the computer industry, she figures that his business must require all of his attention. It's unfortunate that it means he missed the final, and that they lost their chance to be the champions of the NorCal server who would move on to the inter-server competition, but she can accept it. What is important to her friend is important to her.

On the second day, Bella is momentarily distracted by other troubling news. Apparently Masen Cullen, who she idolizes for his intellect and the lust-worthy software he's developed for independent download, has been involved in a pretty serious car accident. Alice is the one who finds the story and links it to her on Twitter, and as Bella reads what little journalists know, she is struck by a sense of abstract distress. No matter how much she appreciates Masen Cullen - and is still bamboozled over his winking at her only a few short weeks ago - she doesn't really know him. She can't summon the same kind of sadness over Masen Cullen's accident as she can about Master Culler's sudden disappearance; Masen Cullen is an iconic stranger, while Master Culler is her close friend. She follows the story for any updates, mostly out of loyalty for the great potential of Masen Cullen's future software. The article is terribly vague, anyway. The only details include a late-night accident, a drunk driver (not Masen Cullen), and a donut truck that was somehow the catalyst of the whole miniature pile-up.

She sees the tagged feeds of locals who went down in the early morning to take pictures of scattered donuts at the scene of the accident and her immediate feeling of disgust is the most emotion she can feel about the story.

By the third day, though, a true sense of bone-deep worry begins to penetrate. Master Culler is still missing - and none of his friends are answering her messages. They haven't been online, either, which she knows because she's had her laptop set to a split-screen for the last 72 hours, continually logged onto her Swansong account, monitoring for any activity. And the times when she isn't online because she's in class - distracted though she may be - she has Janeway doing the same thing.

But Master Culler and his quasi-clan are nowhere to be found.

Naturally, because people are people even if they're stuck in virtual reality, there is a lot of drama surrounding the whole thing. While most are glad that at least they got to see Swansong battling two high-class players one-on-one, meaning their ticket price was worth the beat-down she took, many of those same gamers are looking at Swansong for an explanation she doesn't know how to give. She can't really say anything, because she's as in the dark as they are, but there is no way she's going to throw Master Culler under the bus.

So she says nothing, and she lets them speculate. Because of her tarnished reputation left in the wake of the drama with Relentless - and recently Queen V and Cherry Lane - a lot of gamers are putting the fault on Swansong. In fact, they say that Swansong is shameless enough to participate after alienating her own partner, and that she deserved to lose - just like she deserves the repeated kicks they give her. All those rumors about Swansong being a male player in disguise come back with a vengeance.

And Bella can't bring herself to care at all.

Master Culler, someone who was quickly becoming a best friend, has suddenly disappeared - and she has no idea why or how to get into contact with him. Is he okay? Is he safe? Is he hurt? Where did he go? Why didn't he leave a message?

Is he coming back?

The anxiety of it all coils around her, tight like a serpent and unwilling to let go. Her voracious appetite suffers quite a bit and so does her sleep. By day four, she has lost color in her face and dark circles have begun to form under her eyes. She eats mechanically under Alice's worried gaze, not really tasting the food and not eating nearly as much as she usually does. She goes to class because she hasn't lost it completely, and she pays attention, takes notes, participates in discussions. She studies. She showers. She does her assignments.

But all the while, she always has one eye on her laptop, waiting for Master Culler to come back online.

Alice doesn't seem to take any of this well. She frets and hovers, prying the issue out of Bella one word at a time, and shares Bella's worries as best she can. But by day seven, Alice has reached some sort of limit she has set, and she starts to get firm with Bella.

"Enough of this wallowing," Alice says, storming into the dorm room like a tiny hurricane. She points at Bella, shaking her finger. "Now, you listen here, missy! You need wake up and keep it together! You are Bella Marie Swan and you are a strong, glorious little lady! So you're going to get up and get this room into Leah standards of cleanliness, and then you're gonna shower and put somethin' happy on, and then we're gonna go for waffles because waffles make everything better!"

Bella, curled up on her bed, blinks at Alice. And then she frowns when Alice marches her tiny feet forward and snaps the lid of Bella's laptop closed, even going so far as to hug the computer to her chest. It takes a beat for it to sink in the Alice is actually confiscating her laptop, like a last-ditch attempt to knock some normalcy into Bella's head.

And it works, kind of, because at least then it really sinks in what Alice has just said. Bella's eyes shift to the room and - yes, she has let the dorm go, a little bit. Not that Bella will ever be truly messy, but the trash can is full and a pair of socks haven't quite made it to the hamper, and for Bella, that is surely a sign that something is wrong.

Something is wrong, though.

Master Culler is missing. Gone. Disappeared. For an entire week.

Bella's eyes water and before she knows it she is sobbing, and Alice is hugging her, murmuring comforting words to her. "It's alright, honey," Alice soothes. "Let it out. It's okay to be sad for your friend. You're okay. Shh…"

Bella cries harder at that - because it's not just sadness. There is confusion too, the likes of which she hasn't felt since high school. She's sad, but then she's also confused as to why she's so sad, and that makes her sadder! It's like this terrible, awful, Alice in Wonderland nonsense loop and Bella is swiftly sinking down a rabbit hole she doesn't know she can crawl out of because - because -

Because she doesn't think this is the kind of sadness she would feel for just a friend. Even a close friend. This is - this is like mourning, in a way, and she isn't even sure why.

No. No, that's a lie, she corrects herself, still tucked away into Alice's comforting embrace. Bella knows why she's so sad and worried and confused, even if she's been avoiding the truth of it. She's like this because she likes Master Culler, likes him in a way that she doesn't think she's ever liked anyone - like him in a way she wasn't sure she would ever be able to like someone - and now he is gone somewhere and she doesn't know how to reach him.

Master Culler is gone and she doesn't even know if she can reach him. Because she doesn't know what happened. Because she doesn't know who he is on the other side of that screen. Because something terrible could have happened and she may never know what because she had been so stupidly resolute - so idiotically cowardly - to keep Master Culler as just an in-game friend - when he is so, so much more of that, in her heart of hearts.

Bella can only cry harder.

I hope Master Culler is okay. I hope he's okay.


A/N: *whistles and walks away*

In other news, I played Blackpink's "Don't Know What To Do" on a loop writing the last part of this chapter! #inspiration

Also, for those who are paying attention and trying to link plot points together, there were a few important bits for later chapters scattered throughout. Fans of the C-Drama will see the big one, but I've obviously diverged a lot so... For everyone else, I recommend paying attention to the Twitter feeds!

Notes on this chapter! So, the bits Leah mentioned about Old Quill are all true! Back in the 1970s, there was a huge Native American protest at Fort Lawton up in Washington! From SeattleMag, "In March 1970, Native American protesters attempted to occupy and claim land at the Fort Lawton Army installation (which now sits in Discovery Park in Magnolia) by "right of discovery." They demanded a gathering place for strictly cultural events. The protest eventually led to the establishment of the Daybreak Star Cultural Center at Discovery Park. Opened in 1977, Daybreak is run by the United Indians of All Tribes and is still used as a cultural center, with ceremonial gatherings (including the celebration of Indigenous Peoples' Day last year), an art gallery and a preschool." Additionally, in Seattle, Indigenous People's Day is celebrated alongside Columbus Day, which is a continuation of that activism. For Leah, the VMM is Vision Media Maker, which is an organization that partners for film distribution on PBS. They have an annual fund to create documentaries and other Native media.

If you want to learn more about Native American activism and current progress, please read more at Native American Rights Fund. The oppression of Native peoples is still very much alive today - the issues aren't as old as we like to think, the same with Civil Rights. Even as recently as last year, Alaska Natives were fighting for their rights, and of course the Standing Rock protests over the sovereignty of Native lands.

Anyway!

As always, be brutally honest. I can take it. Stay safe, stay smart, stay inside - and for the love of it all, do not listen to governments trying to open economies this early.

~Rae