"There she is! She's not moving; oh gods don't let her be dead!" someone yelled. To Amaliea the voice seemed to come from far away like someone yelling while you're underwater. It's was so familiar but she couldn't place it.
Then another voice called "She's not dead I can hear her heart beating. Come, let's get her out of this mud."
Amaliea felt two sets of arms lift her but couldn't get her eyes to open. her leg felt even worse now she wished it would stop hurting. she couldn't seem to find the energy to move. It was raining and she could feel the drops on her face. The arms put her down and she felt something wiping at her eyes and face. Her eyes drifted open and at first, the face in front of hers was too blurry to recognize but then it came into focus.
"Vilkas?" She croaked out as she tried to sit up.
"Easy." Vilkas said and stopped her from trying by gently pushing her back down.
"Farkas pass me the water skin." Vilkas said and she turned her head to see Farkas off to her right looking worried.
"You've been missing for almost two days." Farkas said.
"We've been tracking you since last night." Vilkas added as he dripped a little water into her mouth she gagged remembering the blood. Vilkas stopped dripping the water as she did waiting until she got control before giving her more. After a few minutes, her mouth was moist enough to speak.
"Thank you." she said
"For what?" Vilkas asked they both looked confused.
"For coming after me and helping me."
"Your our shield sister of course we came wouldn't you if it were us?" Farkas asked.
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have gotten lost in the first place."
Vilkas grabbed her shoulder saying "It's not your fault you got lost Aela should have made sure you could keep up." he smiled a small smile. Then turned to her leg saying "We best bandage this and get on our way back home."
Vilkas grabbed a rolled linin bandage from a pack on the ground beside him then he lifted her injured leg causing a sharp spear of pain to shoot up her leg and for her to lose conciseness. Amaliea spent the journey back to Whiterun slipping in and out of consciousness. Every time she slipped into it the brother carrying her had changed. She came too at the gate long enough for the guard to let them in. Next, Amailea awoke she was in her bed at Jorrvaskr and someone had removed her boots and armor. She was lying in her leggings and under tunic while a woman that seemed vaguely familiar was bent over her tying a neat bandage. She felt something wrapped around her head then the woman lifted her head and over the woman's shoulder, Amaliea could see Kodlak, the brothers, and Ria hovering just around the bed looking worried. Then the woman put a bottle to Amaliea's mouth and tipped something out she felt herself swallow and almost instantly reality slipped away and sleep overtook her.
She was standing in a familiar wood of pines and birch. 'I'm home but how I was in Jorrvaskr I must be dreaming.' she thought as she started walking through the woods towards where she knew her village was. She emerged from the tree line seeing the village and her home. Her pa's forge was glowing in the evening light. She walked down the lane to the village green and everyone was there all the villagers, her family, and the companions. Everyone was smiling and laughing waving to her. Suddenly the sky darkened and the monster stepped out of the shadows snarling and attacked them. Amaliea tried to run to them but she couldn't move. She heard herself scream "No!"
Everyone was screaming now. The monster was killing everyone! Suddenly her view changed she the monster attacking everyone. She wanted to stop but couldn't. Her parents, Ria, Jon and Jhan, Briella, Farkas, Kodlak, all fell beneath her. 'It's a dream I've got to wake up' she mentally screamed. The only one left now was Vilkas, as she turned on him she thought 'no I don't want to' but she couldn't stop.
"Amaliea!" Vilkas cried sounding almost pleading.
Suddenly Amaliea woke gasping for air. Vilkas was next to her clutching her hand looking down at her. She could feel her heart pounding, as she looked wildly around the room.
"Whatever it was it was just a dream it's okay." Vilkas spoke quietly and soothingly.
Amaliea could feel her heart slow 'just a dream, it didn't happen, just a dream, I'm not the monster, I didn't kill them.'
Vilkas released her hand and sat back still watching her. She pressed her hands to her face trying to stop the tears she felt coming and still the trembling. Then she realized her gloves were gone. She moved her hands back from her face. She could see the scarring on her right palm and wrist and quickly shoved her hand under the blanket to hide it.
Then she looked at Vilkas asking "where are my gloves?" her voice shaking.
"Your gloves?" Vilkas looked puzzled "with your armor on your chest Ria took them off you she said you'd be more comfortable that way."
Amaliea started to sit up and move towards the chest but was stopped by a flare of pain shooting up her leg and the room seeming to spin. She felt sick as she gasped and her eyes watered at the pain.
Vilkas grabbed her and helped her lay back down saying "Easy Danica said you'll need to rest for a few days you lost a lot of blood."
Amaliea hid her hand again and Vilkas watched before asking "So what's so important about your gloves and why do you keep hiding your hand?"
"Nothing I just prefer to wear them." She mumbled looking at the wall beside her.
"You're a really bad liar you know, So what are you really hiding?" Vilkas asked quietly.
"A part of my past best left in the past" She whispered not wanting him to reject her as the others had.
"Whatever it is it won't change how I think of you you'll still be my shield sister Amaliea and I hope my friend." Vilkas smiled but Amaliea still felt doubtful "in the companions it doesn't matter who you were or what happened to you before you joined it only matters what you do with the opportunities you've earned and besides I already saw the scars on your hand and wrist." She looked at him alarm shining in her eyes
"I know a werewolf bite when I see it, also Farkas told me what you told him after I saw. I'm just surprised you didn't leave after you found out about us"
"Do you remember how I told you Kodlak saved me?" Amaliea asked
"Aye."
"This is what he saved me from. It took months to heal but Kodlak stayed until I had." with that, she rolled up her sleeve and showed him the full extent of the scaring
Vilkas looked at her studying her face for a few moments before he seemed to hit a realization. "Damm it! That's why Farkas and Kodlak were so angry at Skjor and Aela they forced you to take the blood didn't they?" he said the last part almost growling
"In a way, I was too frightened to fight them so I don't think they realized it." Amaliea said quietly.
They sat in silence as the minutes ticked by both lost in our own thoughts.
Finally, Amaliea asked, "Do you ever fear the beast?"
He looked her in the eye before saying "Aye the beast thinks of nothing but hunting and fighting it's up to us to control it."
She looked at her hands clasped across her stomach. Her left with the ring found with her when she was a baby, and her right scarred. She closed her eyes remembering the dream and felt tears once more try to escape.
"Vilkas," she said voice small and lost sounding "I'm scared I don't want to become a monster like the one that did this." She lifted her right arm "does that make me a coward?" as she spoke a single tear crept down her face.
Suddenly strong arms enfold her as Vilkas pulls her to him in a warm embrace. she opened her eyes and looked up into his face, their eyes meet as a feeling of safety and protection washed over her.
"Everyone fears something it's part of life. Fear keeps us from jumping off cliffs or sticking our hands in the fire, feeling fear doesn't make us cowards. It is what we do with that fear that decides whether we are cowards or courageous. A coward would not have followed Aela into that fort or stood between the silver hand and Skjor. The entire time me and Farkas were looking for you I was scared we'd find you lying dead. A coward would have stopped and waited for Skjor and Aela to come back and probably would have been set on by wild beasts. You kept moving and you were almost to a road. If you had climbed the other side of the gully the road to Whiterun was on the other side of the hill. You are not a coward Amaliea you have to much heart to be one and," he added with a smile "too good of an arm."
He let her go and reached for a bottle as she chuckled at his joke. "Now Danica said you should take this it will finish healing your wounds and help build back the blood you lost but you need to eat first. So,"
He handed her the bottle and grabbed a plate with venison and bread on it. He passed it to her and grabbed another one for himself. They ate quietly then Amaliea took the bottle and swallowed it's contents quickly grimacing at the taste. Vilkas laughed at her expression and she started rolling her sleeves back down.
Vilkas stopped her asking "Why do you cover your scars? They are nothing to be ashamed of."
"I was teased about them growing up and besides people tend to assume the worst when they see them." Amaliea murmured
"Everyone in the companions bears their own scars. Besides we're all your shield siblings no one will tease you here at least not about scars." she stopped unrolling her sleeve deciding that it's time to stop being afraid. she just hoped Vilkas was right.
