[YouTube Video]

Swan Is A Sleep TalkerClarityIsClear
138k Views / Posted 6 years ago

(The video starts with a fully black screen. Then there is a flare of yellow-white light and a face is suddenly ghoulishly illuminated, a flashlight held right beneath the chin of a pretty bronze-skinned girl. The angle of the light gives the illusions of dark circles beneath her eyes, her mouth a flat, displeased line.

"Leah Clearwater here," she says tiredly. "It's three in the morning and I am suffering."

There is a shuffle, a rustle of clothing, and the camera shakes as Leah seems to shift on what appears to be a bed. The faint greenish glow of stick-on wall stars lurks over her shoulder. Further off, just barely out of reach of the camera's microphone, there is a low murmur and Leah huffs, visibly annoyed.

"Did you hear that? You heard that, right?" she demands, only just moderating the volume of her voice. "Do any of you understand what's happening here? No? Okay, I'll tell you. Here it is. My subject, the illustrious Bella Swan, my soon-to-be-sister in, like, six months, and my brand new roommate is a sleep talker. That's right. She talks in her sleep. And not just, like, a random word here or there. Oh no, Bella Swan is truly outstanding in everyway. She talks in complete sentences and every word is genuinely insane. Here, let me just -"

Leah shifts again, the flashlight bobbing as the camera obviously shifts to face in a different directly, quickly followed by a beam of weak light. From the vantage point of the top bunk where Leah is, views can see the light point to where there is a lump in the lower bunk partially buried by pillows and a wadded duvet.

Viewers are right to make the conclusion that the lump is Bella Swan.

"..why are the crickets taking the radish plane? They won't let the potatoes spring the chickens. They can't fly south yet…"

"See? Do you see what I'm dealing with?" Leah hisses. "What is she dreaming? Crickets flying planes? Are potatoes breaking chickens out of jail? What the hell is going on?"

"No, no lemur…No, you can't say that, Lee Lee would be s'mad…"

"Did I mention," Leah starts, turning the camera back to face her just in time for the flashlight to catch the roll of her eyes. "That I seem to be the subject of many of these dreams? What do I have to do with lemurs? Ugh. At least it's better than snails, which is apparently what she associates Seth with…"

There's another far-off murmur and Leah gives the camera a deadpan stare.

"I feel like I should have known this, but either I was a better sleeper when I was a kid or I repressed all the memories," Leah despairs. "And now I'm stuck with it. Who talks this much in their sleep? She doesn't even talk this much during the day!"

Another murmur and Leah rolls her eyes.

"She should be part of a sleep study or something," Leah says. Shaking her head, she adds, "I am recording this for evidence so she can know how much I suffer. It's not even the talking. The talking I can ignore. It's the questions I have. Why the fixation on root vegetables? Where are they going? Why does it all sound suspicious? I have to know but I can't know, because Bella never knows what I'm talking about in the morning, and so I'm just left like this, wondering and needing to know!"

Off camera, viewers think they can hear something about carrot rebellion and turtleducks. Leah gives a long-suffering sigh.

"When I said I wanted an interesting subject to videograph, I meant interesting like does cool things, not science-experiment interesting. But," she says tiredly. "Beggars can't be choosers. Maybe I'll get used to it…"

The video fades to black, and then is replaced with a zoomed-in view of Bella Swan, staring up at the camera with bleary eyes in the morning sunlight, obviously very confused.

"Lee Lee?" she mumbles.

"Good morning, Sleep Talker," Leah says from behind the camera.

Bella frowns, rubbing at her eye. She doesn't look like she has any intention of moving, completely unbothered by the camera shoved in her face. It doesn't even seem to register.

"Huh?"

Leah clucks her tongue. "I know, I know. You're very useless in the morning," Leah tells her, and Bella kind of grunts, maybe in acknowledgment, maybe in agreement. "But it's time to get up, Sleep Talker."

"Uh-huh."

"My mom is making those ridiculous pancakes you like so much," Leah says. "The ones with all the berries."

"'Kay."

Bella doesn't move, her green eyes dipping closed.

"Hey, Sleep Talker? Tell me, do you…particularly like root vegetables? Radishes and potatoes?"

Bella's brow crinkles.

"What about lemurs? Crickets? Turtles or ducks? Are these your favorite animals?"

Bella's eyes crack open. "Sloths," she says, and then proceeds to roll over, pulling the duvet over her head.

Leah snorts. "Yeah, I can see why you'd like sloths."

Bella mumbles something beneath the covers, then promptly falls both silent and still. Leah, meanwhile, turns the camera around, her expression seeming to say See? What did I tell you?

"Send good vibes to me," Leah tells the viewers. "With time, I think I'll become immune to this sleep-talking nonsense. Until then, subscribe to my channel for more of the Swan's shenanigans."

The video ends.)

Comments

Doink
I feel like the crickets have stolen the radish plane?

thelittlecygnet
I can't believe you actually posted this

ClarityIsClear
I told you I would!

Mnewton
Nice bed. but it looks lonely hehe

PaulyHatesTheCracker
Lee Lee the Lemur, I like it

ClarityIsClear
I will kick you Paul and I will enjoy it

View More Comments


A/N: Now we know exactly why Bella is called Sleep Talker in the group chat! Note the time stamp on this video! This is update 1 of 2 this week.

As always, be brutally honest. I can take it. Stay safe, stay healthy, and wear your mask. And I mean that - wear the damn mask.

All week I have been in a series of internet arguments with people in my state who do not want to comply with our mask mandate. I've heard all kinds of reasons! "The masks don't work" "You're brainwashed by the media" "Why should I sacrifice my freedom?" "I won't live in a communist country!" "If masks worked then why aren't we opening the economy yet?" "Listen to the medical scientists, this virus isn't even a big deal!" and the like. And every time I read any of this bloviated, ignorant nonsense, I can feel my blood pressure skyrocketing. Because here's the thing: the masks do work to protect OTHERS from our viral loads, which are transported in our respiratory droplets. As a simple matter of logic, if EVERYONE is wearing a mask in public, then EVERYONE is protected from viral loads that are not their own. And when everyone is protected, then we can slow - or even stop transmission, as shown by actual developed nations such as Japan, South Korea, and New Zealand, among others - where mask wearing and taking the virus seriously are the norm.

We cannot not wear masks and expect everything to go back to normal. We can't wear masks and then expect to get herd immunity either - a new study has been released that found only about 5% of people who have had the virus in Italy, one of the hardest-hit countries per capita, formed long-lasting antibodies. What this means is that not everyone who is sick will form antibodies to the virus, or if they do, not all of those antibodies will be permanent. Research suggests that the durability of the antibodies is directly related to the severity of the illness; those who have had mild cases, with very few symptoms, don't seem to build antibodies that last longer than 2 weeks, whereas those who are severely ill, usually those who are hospitalized or have many symptoms, have a better chance of forming long-lasting antibodies. So the entire theory of herd immunity for this virus is complete bullshit, and that means waiting for a vaccine is the only avenue for getting back to normal life.

But what do we do during the meantime? Wear our masks like responsible members of society who care about the health of the people around us. In America, I feel like this selfless concept is completely beyond right-wing leaning individuals, who (as psychological studies on personality traits and values of voters indicate) tend to have higher rates of narcissism and neuroticism and conformity, and lower rates of openness and conscientiousness. In other words, right-wing voters are inherently selfish and tend to only care about themselves, not the world at large (which is of course in-line with the fact that they don't care about climate change or why the GOP doesn't want taxes to fund social welfare programs as a whole, especially those related to poverty, homelessness, and hunger). Seeing these anti-maskers in action, many of them who are also anti-vaxxers, is a great snapshot to how these people think. I find it all very disturbing, both from a psychological perspective and as a member of the world.

And they're so passionate about what they believe, even when it's wrong! I can't tell you how many times I've been told to "do my own research", which I do, from neutral non-partisan scientific sources, often the actual studies themselves when available. I understand what I'm reading, or I can find a source that helps me understand. When I ask these anti-maskers to provide their sources, they very suspiciously do not. Why? I can only assume it's because it doesn't exist. They say don't trust the CDC or WHO. Well, anti-masker, who am I supposed to trust, then? If you can't tell me, then why should I listen to you? Another one I hear a lot is how masks aren't effective at all, which simply isn't true. Again, because anti-maskers are inherently selfish, they want to hear that masks will 100% protect them from the virus - they do not want to hear that masks protect OTHERS from THEM, and they largely don't seem to understand the idea that if everyone is doing their part, then everyone is protected.

If you personally aren't sure about the efficacy of masks, then I will point you to Bill Nye's most recent experiment. In this experiment, Bill Nye has a candle, which he attempts to blow out with various face coverings; a scarf over the face blows the candle out, a N95 mask does not even move the flame, and both a two-ply reusable cloth mask and your basic surgical mask prevent air from blowing out the candle almost as well as the N95. What does this tell us? Well, we know that our respiratory droplets - which transmit the virus - are in the air we breathe (see: that viral post of someone breathing in cold air to illustrate), so if we want to test if a mask can contain our viral loads to our own person, then all we have to do is don a mask and try to blow out a candle. I tested this this morning with the masks I have and it stands up. Try it yourself. Try to blow very very hard. If you're using an adequate mask, then the candle won't even flicker and you can know that your mask will protect the people around you.

And yet, by the reckoning of anti-maskers, the idea of protecting others is something that fills them with distaste. I can only assume it's because they're selfish. And then, of course, there is the unimpeachable evidence, over and over again, of anti-maskers who don't wear masks in public because of their "freedom", circulate public places, wind up getting sick, and then die from the virus - such as Robert Rose III, who is now a viral illustration of what that story looks like in real-time. It's tragic. It's tragic because people won't do the one simple thing they can do, and not only are they increasing their own chances of dying, but they are actively spreading the virus to the people around them. So not only is the act in itself suicidal, it's also damningly selfish - and it makes me very tired. "If you see me in public, just don't come near me!" they say, to which I counter, if I see you in public, I won't be coming near you, and I hope you get barred from using any of the stores or services you are trying to use without wearing a mask. Even better, I propose this question: if you knowingly do not wear a mask and end up getting sick, do you deserve medical treatment? Especially when our hospitals are at capacity and our medical professionals are exhausted and risking their own lives trying to save people? If you don't care enough about your own life or the lives of people around you to wear a mask in public, then why should you get life saving treatment? We should prioritize the people you got sick, not you. They need the help. You already made your choice the moment you decided to not wear a mask.

That's where I am at this point. Like I said, it's been a week - and the more anti-maskers I talk to, the more I believe that, while I think they should do their part as members of civil society, they also aren't worth the effort. And I'm a humanist, so for me to get to that place? It says a lot.

Anway! Rant over. Look for the next update very soon! And please, please wear your masks.

~Rae