Author's Note:

Thanks for all the comments today, from AddisonAddek and Arizonaslesbianism.

This one is shaping up to be something special, much thanks to you and everyone else!

Cheers to another one, see you on the other side, yay!

This one is short, but I'm planning a longer and better one for tomorrow.

Thanks for your patience!

bobbiejelly


CHAPTER CONTENT WARNING:

SKIP TO THE TITLE CARD AT YOUR OWN RISK IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD SO CHOOSE WHAT YOU NEED.

I'm just gonna let you experience this one for yourself.

bobbiejelly


Love The Way You Lie


Derek Shepherd, your husband, hits you- but you stayed until you couldn't stand up anymore. Your best friend Mark Sloan helped you leave him and you two had some adulterous sex. When you see Derek again in Seattle with another woman, all you want is to save her from him. You didn't mean to fall in love with her. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, either. But you both did, anyway.

-Addison Forbes Montgomery, for Meredith Grey

MerAdd. Meddison. F/F. Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery. Rated E for Explicit. Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice Crossover.

CW: Domestic Violence. Unhealthy Relationships - Physically & Emotionally Abusive Addek & MerDer. Also briefly okay (non-abusive), Maddison & Mark/Derek.

*This story is entirely fictional. Please seek professional help for abusive relationships in yourself and others. Take all abuse seriously.*


Chapter 10: YOU HAD A LIFE


You love Derek Christopher Shepherd, but even more, you love the way that he lies to you.

And so does Meredith.

And it breaks your damn heart.

But for her, not for him.

You hate yourself even more.

You stare at your husband of over ten years and you stare at his girlfriend/mistress.

You stare somewhere in between them.

You stare blankly into space.

You expect the other woman to run, but she doesn't.

You expect the other woman to leave, but she doesn't.

You expect the other woman to fight or flee, but she stays.

Meredith stays, Derek stays, and you stay standing there in the damn lobby of Seattle Grace Hospital and you think that it's the stupidest fucking name for a workplace that now hosts the world's most fucked-up love/hate square that's ever known to mankind.

You realize that Meredith doesn't even know it's a damn square yet, because if he hasn't told her about you, he certainly hasn't told her about Mark Sloan, and so you're sure she's in the dark about your/Mark's past crimes and you're not comforted at all by this thought.

"Addison, what are you doing here?!" Derek spits out venomously at you.

Jesus, you married me, what the hell did you want me to do?! You don't say to him, now or ever.

You start speaking anyway because you realize he won't stop and she won't start and you can't stand the shit tension.

"Your hair's different," you say lamely as if to give him a compliment.

"A lot of things are different," he spits out to you.

You're a cheater, he's a cheater, he works at Seattle Grace. You work at Seattle Grace…

You were pregnant, now you're not. He was in New York, now he's not...

You were with Mark, you left him. He was with you, he's now with Meredith...

Listing off all the damn differences isn't helping you, either.

"It's longer, I like it, it's very… Russel Crowe…" You manage as you reach out to touch it and he pulls away from you.

You've never known him to not want you to touch him, but you realize that you touching him is probably not nearly as enticing as Meredith touching him, and for once you agree with him on that fact, although you'll never admit it out loud to anyone, ever, in all likelihood.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" He's raising his voice and you're glad because maybe Meredith will take the hint and walk right away from him.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" You bellow right back at him.

"You just pick up and leave everything, your house, your Practice, your friends…?" You ask a million questions at once but the last one hurts you the most.

As you say it you realize your voice is shaking and you're probably not very convincing.

Whatever, it's not like you're trying to win an acting award, anyway.

You also realize you've said "your friends," because you realize they are, and that they've always been his more than yours.

Naomi and Sam even said it was hard to believe you. You banged Mark once at the Brownstone and you haven't heard from him since you left his apartment. That leaves no other friends.

Maya Bennett doesn't count, you think, because she's an infant and she cannot talk yet.

You realize you probably love your Godchild more than any of - your other - his other - friends.

"You had a life in New York," you say, even though you're not sure where you're going with this.

"Had," Derek says point-blank as if he wants to prove to you that he no longer wants you.

Well, this seducing him away from his mistress might prove more challenging than you originally thought.

Meredith is still standing there, wide-eyed at you two, and you try not to glance over at her all the damn time.

You wonder what that girl is thinking, and why she's not turned on her heels and left this hospital yet.

You wonder if her reasons for staying are your reasons, that she's just as used to domestic chaos and it comforts her in a way that it shouldn't.

You'll get your answer at some point probably, but not now, and not right in front of him.

"And now you have a girlfriend," you announce, and it stirs something in you that he has not called you his girlfriend in over ten years, because calling you his 'wife,' sounds like he owns you all just that much more.

"In Seattle," you emphasize. You're actually not sure why you emphasized the location.

Duh. You're in Seattle. Why the hell are you rambling?

Because Meredith is STILL FUCKING HERE. What the fuck is her problem? Your problem?

Your problems? Your problem? Your co-dependent-co-Derek?

No. Just her problems and your problems. Not together problems. Just stupid Derek.

"She seems… Sweet…" You say as you roll your eyes to the ceiling.

You know that Meredith can hear you say all of this.

You're looking up and praying to high heavens she doesn't catch on to the crack in your voice.

You can't talk about her to him. You can't. It just doesn't work that way.

You like her already. You hope she doesn't like you. She needs to stay the fuck away from both of you because you know you'll just bring bad news.

"The ice you're on? It's thinner!" Derek whispers at you, too low for his whatever to hear.

"She's YOUNG," you say, as if you want to say 'she's too damn young for you, Derek," but you can't say that all before he walks away.

"That whole 'ooh he's a brain surgeon thing', happening," you keep snarking as you turn around and you try to face him.

He turns around, too, so he can keep listening.

He's showing he's listening for Meredith's benefit. You know it because he's never turned around just for you. Not even the day that he met you...

"But still sweet, which is what you were going for, right? The anti-Addison?" You realize you're complimenting your husband's girlfriend/mistress to your husband while staring at her over his shoulder and you should probably be kicked off paradise just for that fact alone.

But then again, you were out of that dream long ago, and you definitely are now.

"If you came out here to try to win me back you can forget about it," Derek stands strong and puffs his chest out.

Stay strong, Addison. Stay strong. For the other girl please stay strong…

You take step over step over step towards him (and her…) as you keep on talking...

"I did, I flew all the way across the country, to reminisce over wedding photos, get drunk, fall into bed and make you realize you can't fall into bed without me…" You say in a low one that probably seduced him at some point.

Maybe that voice only seduces Mark Sloan, you groan internally at the thought.

He doesn't blink and you know he's calling your bluff.

"Relax, Derek, I'm here for work," you affirm, and you know this probably impresses him seeing as you've been fucking homeless and unemployed for many months.

"I'm helping with the TTTS you've admitted last week-" you can't meet his gaze as you say this part because you're thinking of the Adele Webber-Richard Webber-SomeOtherWoman love triangle and how you know all sides of it and you wonder how much Derek knows about that…

"And from Richard's briefing-" You start, but Derek cuts you off right again.

"RICHARD KNEW YOU WERE COMING OUT HERE?!" Derek practically shouts at you.

"HE ASKED ME TO COME, DIDN'T HE TELL YOU?," You half-life and half tell the truth because you're not going to say that you begged for it.

"NO HE DIDN'T" Derek shout-whispers, then lowers his voice to a hush.

He can tell that Meredith is still eyeing him and he's trying to play his damn cards right.

"WELL, I'M SURPRISED!" You exclaim before you turn around him and lean into his neck.

You don't even feel him shiver at you like he used to. You can tell he isn't probably even turned on by you, now. You don't feel anything for him right now, either…

"The hair though, you know I've always had a thing for Russell Crowe…"

You feel like you're whoring yourself out right now.

Even though that doesn't make sense since you're actually married to this man.

And he's married to you even though he's made a slut of an angel.

You wonder why Meredith doesn't just hate him plain and simple.

Why is she standing there still all doe-eyed?

Could she even be more pretty than she already is… You have no idea but you think that she could. You really have to get out of here-

You go to stalk away but then Derek catches you.

He grabs you by the wrist, tightly, and you don't move because you know he'll just pull.

'See, Meredith? See what he does to me? He'll treat you like property too, just you wait. You should really go now…' You wish you could yell.

You don't, though, and Meredith just watches with morbid fascination as he handles you and you submit to him and he says he's taking you both out.

You wonder if Derek means he's going to punch you until you can't see anymore.

Meredith is probably wondering if he means he's dragging you both to a bar.

Hours into the evening, you'll realize-


***** END OF CHAPTER TEN


Author's Note:

Yes, the ending mid-sentence was deliberate. Sorry, that's all you'll get for tonight, it's really really late here! But I just got a huge writer's I don't know what...

So this was canonical but also not.

I'm hoping to strike a balance here between boring and repetitive and new and different.

Let me know how that stands.

In the show, Meredith is long gone by this point, and Addison and Derek are having this conversation alone.

In this story, Meredith doesn't leave where she's standing and she's witnessing the entire exchange.

Hope that was clear, but if it wasn't, I hope it's clear now.

Let me know what you think, this is a quick turnaround but I don't know if the next one will be?

bobbiejelly


Dedications, June 5, 2020, Chapter 10:

EVERYONE WHO READS THIS SO FAR AND COMMENTS, LIKES, FAVORITES, FOLLOWS, ADDS TO READING LIST ETC.

Ao3:

AddisonAddek for the phenomenal Comments. Can't thank you enough!

Illyiad, KyHasNoLife, Arahneia, AddisonAddek, Hotgitay and 2 guests for the Kudos.

Subscriptions: 1 Hits: 149 Kudos: 7 Comment Threads: 8 Bookmarks: 0

Fanfiction:

rhi bradley and Anne for the Reviews.

kaipulani, , for the Favs.

rhi bradley, kaipulani, FightSong, , kjo2000, for the Follows.

733 Hits.

Wattpad:

Ty- arizonaslesbianism (bonus!), danielaperezsurga, new_being, outlawqueenpercabeth, for the SPECTACULAR comments and stars. JordynMarie05, addiesrep, rene418, for the votes so far.

284 Reads, 47 Votes, 256 Comments. Many people, who added this to their reading lists.

AND THANKS TO EVERYONE ELSE, WHO READS THIS, EVER!

Ps. Thanks to those of you who have PM'd reviews of this work, also!

Special thanks to everyone who has followed me as an author, added me to your favorites, read everything and anything I've ever published. There are more and more of you who invest in my work like that every day, and it warms my heart. My dearest thanks to you all.


Ps. New MerAdd fics are up or updated, recently:

Cookies & Quickies Bubble All Too Easy

Prom?

101 McDalmatians

Five Reasons We Knew Calzona Was Made For Each Other & Five + More 6 Sentence Fics

... And there will eventually, soon be new Chapters of these ones up:

Falling Apart, Barely Breathing

Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery) Soothe A Seattle Grace Mercy West Swingers Party - Post Plane Crash Edition Out Of The Dark

Feel free to check them out, hopefully after you leave a note, and have a great day!

bobbiejelly