Closer than ever before, Egil could feel their journey on the Leg coming to an end soon. They could even finish it today… If not for the fact he was dealing with horrible brain fog. His focus had become shot, likely thanks to how little sleep he had gotten recently… But maybe he could push through it.
There was no point in delaying over feeling a bit out of it! Especially not when it was minor enough that he was pretty sure only he had even noticed. Everyone else likely thought he was fit to go on-
"Alright." Linada clapped her hands together. "We should rest up. Egil looks like he's about to wander off a cliff."
Egil jumped a bit. She had noticed?! Dammit, maybe he could still work with this. If it was only her who realized it, he could play it off, maybe get the others to side with him. Couldn't be too hard to spin an excuse of Linada being too on edge as his doctor, right?
He cleared his throat, about to speak, when Alvis cut him off.
"Linada is right. You've been out of it for a while now. You need a break." Alvis crossed his arms. "Besides, I have something I want to talk to you about. It's better if we're settled in before I do."
"If it's that important, we shouldn't keep him from telling you, hm?" Tyrea ran a hand through her hair. "I'd rather he do it in calm conditions rather than with his dying breath or something equally dramatic."
"Wh…" Egil huffed, crossing his arms. "I'm perfectly fine to keep moving."
"I don't think you are." Kallian shook his head. "Linada is right, you seem quite out of it."
"Please, Egil." Vanea placed a hand on her chest, a frown on her face. "It will just be one more day. Plenty worth it if it means you get the rest you need."
Egil groaned, running a hand down his face. They all wanted him to rest then?! Even Oka was giving him such a look right now… Why did they all seem to think he couldn't take care of himself?!
He knew he had no way to get out of this, though. Six against one was impossible odds for someone as out of it as Egil was right now. Didn't mean he had to like it, though. In fact, he would make his distaste clear!
"Alvis, you want to speak to me, yes? The rest can set up camp while we speak." He held out a hand and watched the Homs light up as he took it. "Come, let's find somewhere to talk."
"That sounds wonderful, Egil. Let's…" He looked at the rest of the group and Egil almost snorted when he saw all their faces. "Be careful setting up everyone, hm?"
Tyrea lunged, held back by Kallian and Oka. "You-"
"See you all in a bit~"
Alvis stared out across the body of water Egil had led them to and let out a sigh. Well, it was time then, wasn't it? He felt bad about how much he was about to unleash on Egil, but it had to be done, and sometime soon.
He had just realized he was in love with this man, and he was already having to admit it to him. If he didn't do it now, there would not be an opportunity to in the future. As much as he hated to admit it, it was a case of now or never.
"The world is going to change greatly soon, I can… feel it." He finally spoke, his voice soft, hand still holding Egil's. "If it was anyone else on this journey, I would be uncertain, but…"
He looked at him, and his heart skipped a beat as Egil looked at him, expression soft. For the first time in his existence, he wanted to cry. Wanted to bury his face into Egil's chest and let tears fall. Knowing this would all soon come to an end, that he would not see that face again…
It hurt him, in a way he could not describe.
"But I know you will bring about the change this world needs." He choked back any tears that may have threatened. "I'm putting my trust in you, Egil."
"Don't talk like that." He clicked his tongue, pulling his hand free. "You'll be there to see it. Put your trust in yourself."
He couldn't tell him the truth, as much as he wanted to. He could only meddle as much as the margins of fate would allow. And a mortal knowing what he truly was too soon was not allowed.
"I want to put my trust in you because…" Instead, Alvis decided he would tell what he could. Bear his emotions for Egil to see. "Because I love you, Egil. I've never felt so strongly about someone before, I…"
Egil's eyes widened for a moment, and then there was pain in them. Alvis felt like there was a stab in his chest as Egil looked away. He was a fool for saying anything, for trying to play a game he was not made to play…
"Alvis…" Egil's voice shook as he looked at him again, and Alvis saw tears. "I'm sorry."
"What?" He blinked. "Why are you sorry? You've done nothing wrong."
Egil placed his hands on his cheeks, dropping to his knees, lower lip quivering. "I'm sorry, because I… I think I feel the same. But… I'm not ready, Alvis. Not yet… Not so soon after I lost Arglas for the last time, I-"
"Come on, now…" Alvis raised his own hands, bringing them to Egil's face. "I'm the one being rejected, shouldn't I be the one crying…? You've done nothing wrong. If you are not ready… I understand."
"I wish I could be the man you want. The man you're in love with, but…" He closed his eyes, and let his forehead rest against Alvis's. "I can't be that, not now. Not… not yet."
"That's fine, I can wait as long as I must. Even if that wait is an eternity." Alvis caressed his cheek. "Even if you can never return my feelings fully… I feel better telling you the truth."
"I suppose that's good." Egil didn't move from where he kneeled. "But don't feel like you have to wait for me."
"I want to wait for you, I promise you as much…" Alvis shook his head. "I would offer to kiss you as proof, but I doubt you would-"
That was when Egil kissed him. A short, fleeting, uncertain kiss. One that went by so quickly that Alvis was having a hard time registering it in the swaths of strange and alien emotions that already had him in their grasp.
"That's a promise from me to you, that in the future, should circumstances allow…" Egil pulled away from Alvis, standing. "Then maybe we can… be together."
Alvis smiled a bit, masking any ache that came from knowing what was coming. "It's a promise, then."
"I don't get you." Tyrea shook her head. "Which is the real you? The violent, angry one who nearly killed Alvis? Or this doting sister act you put on all the time?"
Vanea blinked a few times, looking up from where she set up a few of the bedrolls. Tyrea usually did not speak to someone first, as far as Vanea could tell. So seeing as she was being approached, about this no less, was a bit much to process.
"I suppose both are the real me, just as the girl who clings to Kallian and the angry assassin are both you." She played with some of her hair. "Though if I had to call one more me than the other, I would say the doting sister is more the real me."
"And the angry assassin more me." Tyrea turned away from Vanea for a moment, checking their rations quietly. "...I don't get you, really. How a state so peaceful is so natural to you."
"Well, after all the Machina have been through, I suppose someone needs to be peaceful. To counteract the… volatile feelings of our people, after all that tragedy." Vanea shrugged, not really having a better answer than that. "The world we were left with was in need of people like me, so I stepped forward."
"I… see." Tyrea looked at her hands then, and Vanea was worried. Should she go over to her, make sure she was alright? "Then I suppose that anger an violence on my end also makes sense. That was what the Order wanted from their assassins, and I was one of the best."
"Mmm…" Vanea closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. "I suppose this journey has made our less visible sides both come to the forefront a bit more then, hm? Away from the groups that need the specifics from us…"
For a moment, she thought Tyrea wasn't going to reply. It wouldn't be the first time the assassin ended a conversation prematurely, marching off to huff. In fact, it happened more often than Vanea would like to admit!
But then she spoke, her voice small. "I'm no different that I am usually, but I suppose that's true for you. Come on, there's still plenty to set up. I don't want that fool Alvis playing backseat prep when he and Egil return."
Vanea would have argued, but she didn't want that, either. So instead, she simply nodded. "You're right, Tyrea. Let's get back to it."
