Spring break is almost over, so my activity is going to lower again. Let's have some fun while we still can!
Alphys and Undyne were watching the TV at their resort's room.
"We are here at the final ten laps of the race, and boy is it a close one. Leading the race is Lewis, hot on his tail is Jackson. Underdog Papyrus is about five seconds behind him, followed by Smith and Clarkson, who are currently battling for fourth," the announcer declared.
"I have to admit," Undyne started. "I had my doubts about auto racing, but this is actually quite intense. I mean these racers have lightning fast reaction time."
"The pit crews also have a lot of pressure on them," Alphys added. "Clarkson went from second to twentieth just because his crew took a long time to do their job. He took about a hundred laps just to get back where he is now."
Their attention returned to the screen.
"Papyrus makes a daring maneuver, nearly hitting the wall, but it looks like it paid off! He's now hot on Jackson's tail!"
"Come on, Papy," Undyne said to the TV. "You can do this."
"And Jackson makes a turn too wide. The underdog is now in second, with three laps to go!" The announcer declared.
"This is the kind of race the audience came for, intense, edge of your seat action," the other announcer commented. "Nobody had better blink!"
Alphys was standing at that point, while Undyne made two fists and started moving them up and down in excitement.
"Papyrus changes gears, and they're both neck and neck as we come to the final lap! It looks like Lewis is aware of Papyrus, and he lowers his gears allowing him to take this turn tightly without losing ground. Papyrus is now slightly ahead but he needs to lower his gear to make this last turn."
"Come on," Alphys muttered.
"He's forced to slow down for the turn allowing Lewis to retake the lead. Now it's just the last sprint, and... and Lewis takes the cup by the thinnest of margins!"
"Damn," Undyne declared. "So close!"
-Later-
Undyne and Alphys were both dressed up in formal attire as they sat at their table in the restaurant.
"It was nice of Sans to give us complimentary seats for his act," Alphys commented.
"It was," Undyne replied. "But I hope it's not just a bunch of puns."
A waiter took their orders. Alphys ordered some sushi, and Undyne, who thought it sounded good, ordered some as well.
"What?" Undyne asked Alphys. "Fish can eat other fish."
"Did I say anything?" Alphys asked with a giggle.
"It happens all the time in nature," Undyne continued with a grin.
"I know, I didn't say anything," Alphys giggled again.
After some waiting, their food arrived, and Sans arrived on stage shortly after.
"hello, and welcome to sunset theater," Sans introduced. "i will be the skeleton with nothing better to do than to make a fool out of himself making awful jokes in front of a group of people, so please, enjoy my act."
I don't know about this, Undyne thought.
"you probably know by now that we monsters have been on the surface for about two years, and i have learned a lot about it in that time. i learned about human history, what's beyond the earth, how ruling your civilization requires a low iq and a stupidly high amount of money."
The theater chuckled.
"as much as i like president chump, as i am thankful that he passed the bill to give us monsters citizenship with no questions asked, i want to know where i can get a job where i am paid hundreds of thousands to badmouth my rivals on social media."
Alphys began to giggle.
"the more i learn about humanity, the less i seem to know," Sans continued. "i was channel surfing the other day and found so much trash on tv. one particular channel i found was hgtv, which is short for home and garden television."
The theater chuckled some more.
"many of its programs are in fact intriguing. you have people tearing down walls, reworking and renovating, and so on. then you have programs where you find some middle aged married couple that nobody knows about. they go on about "we need to find a nice house, using our limited budget of, i don't know, one point six million dollars."
The theater laughed. Even Undyne started to chuckle.
"what the hell do you mean "limited budget?" one point six million would get you a fortress in certain areas of the country!"
Sans paused.
"and the kicker is that every single doctor's office, hospital, and so on has this crap on for everyone in the waiting room. i mean who the hell comes into a hospital with a broken leg or something and thinks "oh, one point six million, i hope to god that they find their dream house with that low amount of money?" For that matter, who comes into a hospital and is remotely interested in watching all the demolition? the ones that are probably came in having tried it themselves."
The theater laughed some more.
"i've also began questioning the concept of sports," Sans continued. "i mean many of them are thought out, and you need strength and skill to play them well. this is why i'm a comic instead."
The theater chuckled.
"but what qualifies as a sport? you have tennis, baseball, football, and real football," Sans started, which won a few chuckles again. "then you have skydiving. How do you make skydiving a competitive sport? the entire goal of the game is simple: don't die."
Some more laughter.
"i mean who thought of the concept of such a dangerous activity? who had the bright idea one day to jump out of a perfectly functioning airplane from two miles in the air and hope to god that their parachute works? i have no idea how anyone could sell this idea to anyone else, but because humans are crazy, this idea took off, probably because they force all skydivers to wear plastic hats on their heads."
Undyne was laughing now. She would openly admit that she was wrong about this.
"why do people have to wear helmets when they skydive?" Sans asked. "If that chute doesn't open, will that chunk of plastic save you? no. if anything, your body will save it."
Sans shifted gears as the audience laughed.
"however, the most intriguing thing about the human race is their music. some of the albums found their way into the underground when we were still trapped down there, so we had an idea as we left. however, there is so much more to offer than we initially thought," Sans admitted. "you have classical, which is good for taking it easy. you have rap, for when your lyrics need to be a thousand words a second. then you have your rock bands."
Many members of the audience cheered.
"and the most fun band is none other than ac/dc."
AN: I was going to steal the set of jokes, but I think it would be better to see the original source. If you want to see the last part of Sans' act, go to youtube and look up Jim Breuer impression of AC/DC doing the Hokey Pokey. It's hilarious!
The audience was on the verge of applause at this point.
"thank you for your time. before i go, i just want to give some shoutouts. my brother papyrus got second place in his first race this afternoon, and i'm proud of him for that," Sans announced, which earned more applause. "i'd also like to embarrass two of my close friends, doctor alphys and mrs. undyne. i hope you're enjoying your honeymoon as well as my show."
The audience applauded as the spotlight turned to the two girls, who both gave Sans a thumbs up for a good stand up act.
"you've been a fun crowd, thanks for making it tonight," Sans announced.
AN: Many of the patients at work think that I should try to be a comedian, because I can make them laugh enough when I transport them. Now is my chance to prove them wrong! Also, I didn't want to use the name "Trump" in my story, so please, don't nitpick.
Anyway, just like my other stories, I welcome reviews. As a low key author I will take them into account, and just like last time, I will reply to all of them at the end of each chapter.
PotatoLord: Welcome back!
I am in fact considering copying all of my content here and moving it to AO3, especially with the delays in reviews and even upload times. Plus, if I multiplatform, it could potentially help grow my own fanbase.
As for your review, I agree that Alphys is secretly romantic. While she still tends to be nervous from time to time, the intensity of the emotion is a mere fraction of what it used to be. Even when she fails, Undyne is flattered by the effort given, and the end result is hardly any different.
Undyne, of course, isn't as romantic as Alphys, but Alphys doesn't mind. She knows that her fishy wife is always there to comfort and protect her, and being able to hold her anytime she pleases is more than enough.
As for life, well I kind of need to get my certificate in medical billing and coding, which will give me more than enough money and time to get a place of my own and work on stories more often. Granted, I may want some time away from the computer at that point.
As for the Last Ember, I am looking forward to its release. I am thankful for your kind words, and hope that we deliver an awesome game! Not to sound like a sellout, but if you want more information, go to thelastember DOT site (you can't put links on FFN without them being deleted).
Thank you, and I hope to release more content soon!
