[YouTube Video]

Swan's First Mukbang: Why College Kids Shouldn't Be Allowed To Feed Themselves (Really)
ClarityIsClear
338k Views / Posted 1 year from now

(The video begins with the screech of chairs and the squeal of opening styrofoam containers and a gaggle of female voices talking over each other with "Pass this here" and "Do you have a napkin" and "Has anyone seen the chopsticks?". The first actual images of the video include a close-up of steam rising off an eggroll, and then a slow zoom-out as the camera roves over a table full of piping hot, mostly-fried foods. Almost every inch of the table is covered by take-out containers from a dozen restaurants.

The table itself is surrounded by a half-circle of women, three of them instantly recognizable, and one a more recent addition. Bella Swan is seated more or less in the middle, her haircut still new, the cinnamon waves resting right at her collarbones; she is passing napkins to the other women at the table, olive eyes bright as she smiles, the ever-present bracelet on her wrist glinting in the dimmed lighting. Beside her is Alice Brandon, her black hair tucked behind her ears in a still-growing stylish shag; on Bella's other side is Esme Cullen, a newer edition to the group with her gentle, old Hollywood classic beauty; Rose Hale is at the final place at the table, currently pulling her beach-blonde hair into a careless bun, seemingly in preparation of eating.

Leah Clearwater is operating the camera, which she swivels around for just long enough to make her introduction. The purple is finally out of her hair, although now her dark locks are shorn into an edgy undercut and she has a piercing in one nostril that is new to all viewers. "Hey, kiddos! Leah Clearwater here and I'm about to make your day," she announces, then turns the camera back to the table. Her tone takes on a fake British accent. "As you can see, we've stumbled across a new phenomenon today - Swan's First Mukkbang, featuring special guests to help her eat this truly disgusting amount of food because she insisted it would be more fun that way. I really don't know why we haven't done this before. All Bella thinks about is food and Mas-"

At this, Bella gifts the camera - or rather the person behind the camera - with a dry look. "I only insisted after you said the viewers wouldn't want to see me throw up after eating so much. Not that that would happen," she adds, now looking directly at the camera. "I know my limits."

"Okay, fine, I insisted. Whatever. You still could have ordered less food," Leah needles, dropping her accent.

Bella frowns. "If I ordered less food, then the Eat Around The World Challenge wouldn't be met."

"You could have ordered one dish from each place," Leah tells her.

Bella blinks, appearing truly dumbfounded. "But how would I be able to choose? All the food is so good..."

Rose Hale snorts. "How you aren't the size of a house is a true scientific mystery. Your metabolism must be ridiculous. Did you make a deal with the devil?"

Before Bella can respond, Esme Cullen cuts in. "My God," she says with feeling, dipping forward to take a deep whiff of the steaming food, her eyes fluttering closed briefly. "This smells so good, and so, so forbidden. I'm breaking all the rules of my diet tonight, girls."

"What diet?" Alice asks, genuinely confused. "Esme, you don't need to be on a diet."

Esme pats Alice's hand. "It's just the diet of being married to a doctor. Healthy eating is the key to a healthy life," she quotes. Esme pauses, then glances at the camera nervously. "Maybe he shouldn't know about this video..."

Alice giggles.

"Pass the Vietnamese," Rose says, holding out her hands.

Bella and Alice, who are seated most closely to the assortment of Asian food, search the table.

"Vietnamese," Bella mutters. "Did we put that to the north or south of China?"

"It was east of Korea," Alice says.

"Is Vietnam east of Korea?" Bella wonders. "I thought it was south, maybe..."

Alice shrugs. "Why else would we put it there?"

"Oh, for the love of -" Leah and the camera stutter forward and point down at the dead-center of the collection of Asian food. "Here. This is the Vietnamese food! Rose, your pho."

"Why, thank you, Lee Lee," Rose says with a wry look, taking the paper bowl passed to her.

"Call me Lee Lee one more time, Hale," Leah warns.

Rose smiles beatifically.

Food is distributed from there. Leah takes the time to get a birds-eye view of the table, which has a laminate world map spread under dozens of take-out containers. The food itself, however, is not quite as organized by country of origin as it should be. To viewers, it seems like the goal of organizing the food collapsed somewhere around the Mediterranian - Leah makes a joke about the fall of Rome being so typical that has all the others groaning. Between all of that, Leah narrates the point of the Eat Around The World Challenge, which is going viral among YouTubers lately and which Bella had evidently been more or less easily persuaded to participate in.

The cross-talk while one-fourth of the food is demolished is random, but no less entertaining. There's a lot of teasing about the chili sauce Bella insists on putting on most of her food, Alice tries lamb without realizing it's lamb and spends a good few minutes freaking out about it, and Rose and Leah wind up in a convoluted food-trade that Bella immediately claims is cheating.

"Uh, it's not cheating if we aren't the ones participating in the challenge, you walnut," Leah tells her.

"She's right," Rose agrees. "You're technically the only one here who has to complete the challenge. We, on the other hand, can trade as much as we like."

Bella sticks her tongue out. "Semantics."

Rose lifts a brow. "I guess you don't want my samosa, then?"

"I do!" Bella says quickly, making grabbing hands, wiggling her fingers eagerly as if to encourage the food to be passed over faster.

Leah laughs loudly behind the camera. "You're such a glutton!"

Bella nods. "When God was handing out deadly sins, I got gluttony," she teases.

"I got lust," Rose claims.

"Envy for me," Alice admits.

"Esme?" Bella prompts.

"Greed, maybe."

"And what about me?" Leah wonders. "What sin is left for me?"

The answers "Pride" and "Wrath" come at the same time, and all the women look at each other. Leah, meanwhile, declares that it's unfair she gets multiple sins but also it's probably true.

They go back to eating after that, although still not quietly. The conversation continues in a meandering vein as the food slowly disappears. The speed of the eating is significantly cut down, with Bella holding out the longest until she too, at last, seems to give up. Rose and Alice, who had been keeping track of the dishes Bella consumed, declare that she's met the challenge. Bella lets out a little cheer, then makes a face and pats her stomach, apparently too full to be happy about it.

"God, I miss college," Esme says after her last bite. She pushes away from the table and breathes out heavily. "All the crazy things you kids eat."

"You kids," Rose parrots with a scoff.

"You're not even thirty, Esme!" Alice says brightly. "And a young-looking thirty, at that! What cream are you using? Or is it a serum?"

Esme smiles. "Wedded bliss is all I need to look this good."

"Foul!" Leah cries from behind the camera. "We agreed no innuendos!"

"How is wedded bliss an innuendo?" Rose wonders.

"Don't play dumb," Leah tells her. And then to Esme, she says, "Pay the penalty, Mrs. Cullen."

Esme doesn't appear bothered at all, lifting her chin with a saucy smile. "Oh, I would love to pay the penalty. it's been a while since I got any good liquor -"

"Wait!" Bella says, stopping Alice from pouring what looks to be a genuine bottle of rice wine. Bella looks at Esme with a shrewd sort of stare, squinting her eyes a bit. "...Can you even have this?"

Esme stares back, uncomprehending. "It's the penalty."

"Yeah, but..." Bella hedges, heat rising on her cheeks.

"What Bella means to ask," Rose cuts in impatiently. "Is if you have a bun in your oven."

Esme bursts out laughing. "Oh, dear God, no. No, no we aren't expecting. We've only been married for less than a year."

"Accidents happen," Bella mumbles, removing her hand from hovering over Esme's shot glass so Alice can pour the liquor.

Esme makes a sound of interest. "Oh? Is that so? Accidents happen, do they? Anything we should know about, Bella?"

Bella's face immediately flames bright red. "No!" she spits out. "No, I'm not - we - that isn't -"

"Gross," Leah calls from behind the camera, making a retching sound. Her bronzed hand comes into view, snapping and pointing at both Esme and Bella. "You two, pay the penalty."

"Gladly," Esme says, tossing back one glass and holding it out to Alice to refill.

Bella makes a wounded face. "That's not fair! I wasn't the one who -"

"Penalty!" Leah declares.

Bella rolls her eyes and grudgingly takes the shot that Alice helpfully pours for her. As soon as she takes the shot, her entire face scrunches into one of intense distaste and she quickly slams the glass onto the table, fighting off a full-body shudder. "Ugh, so strong," she complains.

"It's a little weak," Esme disagrees.

Bella gapes at her.

"Well, I want to try it now!" Alice declares, pouring her own glass.

Rose presses a palm to her face when Alice promptly tries to spit it out, unsuccessfully. "Babe, when are you going to learn? You do best with fruity drinks."

Alice grimaces. "I know that now. I really, really know that now."

Bella closes her eyes and joins Esme in looking more miserable than not. "This was a mistake," Bella says. "I have regrets."

Leah snorts. "Do you hear that, viewers? Swan actually regrets the challenge! Do you think this means I win?"

"Yes," Bella says, opening her eyes a slit. "You win the worst sister ever award."

"Is it a trophy or a medal?" Leah immediately asks.

"I will throw something at you," Bella threatens tiredly. "A napkin. Or a shoe."

Leah scoffs, and so does Rose. "Your aim is so shitty," Rose says.

Bella pouts.

Leah turns the camera around for a final time, this time holding it far enough away from her face that she can get a good selfie-style angle that captures the rest of the women. Leah smiles broadly, a little smugly, at the camera and says, "The Eat Around The World Challenge is being done in support of ending global hunger initiatives. If you liked watching Swan eat herself stick, please follow this link to donate to the cause. You can also join the challenge yourself to generate more interest using the hashtag. Check out the notes included after the video for more information!"

The video ends as all five women wave at the camera, and then the screen fades to a black screen directing viewers to The Borgen Project to check out other worldwide hunger and poverty initiatives.)


A/N: #EatAroundTheWorld is not an actual challenge, but it could be! Some viral challenges have a good habit of generating money for charity, so if you stumble across a viral challenge, make sure you try to find if the challenge is connected to a worthy cause or not. The Borgen Project, on the other hand, is a real non-profit, and I'm encouraging everyone to check out their activism, which in part helps encourage American legislators to support global poverty and hunger initiatives. It's an important cause that highlights many community outreach, non-profits, and programs that lift poverty-stricken areas out of poverty with access to clean water, medicine, food, education, and refuge. I actually interned for the Borgen Project last year and it taught me a lot about how instrumental legislative budgeting is in keeping life-saving programs running across the globe. We all do better when we're all doing good! The Borgen Project has resources that help you identify and get into contact with your specific Senators and Representatives (about all kinds of issues) - just know that you'll have to send emails about 3 to 7 times to get a response.

Okay, so! You may have noticed the timestamp on this video! It takes place 1 year from the current time in the story (2020, as of chapter 24), which means everyone is 1 year older. I said several chapters back that the YouTube chapters were going to be different and this is what I meant - from this point forward, all YouTube chapters are going to be future-takes of events that happen after the story-proper is concluded. I'm shooting for a non-chronological timeline instead of just putting futuretakes after the epilogue. If I do it right, then I hope (when the story is read as a whole) that these YouTube chapters will signal certain changes within the story proper - the pivotal point, of course, being that Bella and Masen have exchanged their I-Love-Yous, which solidifies their future together. We're entering happy ending territory, readers.

I really hope experimenting with it like this won't be confusing. It probably will be better when read as a whole, but *shrugs*. Anyway! Let's explain some stuff!

A mukkbang is a portmanteau of two Korean words for "meokneun" (eating) and "bangsong" (broadcast) and is pretty much an entire genre of videos on YouTube. Most YouTubers do at least one, and there are plenty of YouTubers that do mukkbangs exclusively. You can think of a mukkbang as a one-sided conversation while someone or multiple people eats a ridiculous amount of food and interacts with viewers, usually by chat but also sometimes by comments. It's like the opposite of a cooking show, actually - it's an eating show! Mukbang videos are an internet staple at this point, but they aren't for everyone, just like ASMRs aren't for everyone.

I should probably explain that ASMRs is another type of video, usually found again on YouTube, that are essentially just random videos of random things that are supposed to be relaxing set to relaxing music or other auditory output. ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response, which is that tingly feel-good (or brain massage) feeling you get when something is really nice or relaxing or pleasing to you in some way. Common ASMRs are of calligraphy, tea making, showing off nifty devices, animals being cute, making art, crafting or building, virtual tours, hair dying and styling videos, nail art, power washing things clean, etc. Lots of people watch ASMRs to go to sleep and, yeah, some YouTubers do make a killing out of making high-quality ASMRs.

The internet is a wild, wonderfully strange place. And this makes two notes where I explain niche internet videos!

As always, be brutally honest. I can take it. Stay safe, stay smart, and stay healthy.

~Rae