Chapter five
'Excuse me, I thought I heard you say you were Harry?'
'I am, I had a sex change years ago, then studied potions that could help. So you will believe me, you can ask me anything, as you knew more about me than anyone, including Ron.'
'I'm not sure if this is some cruel joke, but you don't seem the type to do that to someone. Okay, let's see because I'm not sure what to think right now.'
'I know, but I want to forget about him, that part of my life. If peopl found out that the saviour was now a woman, imagine what would happen. I would have to leave, for good this time.'
'If it's really you, then we are going to have one hell of a talk. First though, Harry found out something the night he killed Voldemort, something Severus Snape let him know, something very important. Tell me how he let you know and what that was?'
'He gave me his memories, said I have my mother's eyes. When I watched the memory, you were with Ron and the Weasley's because Fred died. I was up in Dumbledore's office, using his pensieve,' Rose sighed, 'I was a horcrux, made the night my parents died and Voldemort never knew a thing about it.'
'Harry,' Hermione choked out.
'Rose. Please Hermione, Rose, Harry's gone.'
Hermione threw her arms around Harry and started crying, 'Rose, Harry, I don't care, you're here, you're alive.'
'I'm here Hermione and to tell you the truth, I did consider taking my own life. But i decided to change to who i always thought I should be. If i could live as Rose, then I would. Please don't cry Hermione.'
Hermione sniffed and removed her arms from Harry/Rose as she stared into his/her eyes, 'My heart knew it was you.'
'You did seem very friendly considering you just met me, or met Rose. But please Hermione, no one can know the truth. I'm rose, forget the name Harry.'
'I would never tell anyone, not even Ron. He was so upset with you for leaving us but he realise why you did. But then when I got depressed, he began to get angry, at you. Why didn't you write, just to let us know you were okay?'
'I was trying to forget Hermione, surely you of all people can understand. You told me that first day how Harry suffered, it's true, more than you know. The beatings by the Dursley's, the humiliation, the torture, death, Sirius then Remus. I couldn't take it anymore, it hurt too much. The moment Rose emerged, I felt it, like a great weight had lifted, I was free, happy and I can't let anyone ruin that.'
'No one will...Rose, I will never let anyone know. So that day when you said about having kids?' Hermione never finished her question.
'Even with all the potions I've created, my insides can't be changed enough to make me conceive a child. I won't give up hope of creating something that might help, but I've resiged myself to the fact that it will always be me. There is something I would like to ask you though, woman to woman,' Rose smirked making Hermione laugh.
'Yes, woman to woman, so ask.'
'What's it like to have sex?'
'Rose,' Hermione's eyes widened, 'You never...'
'No, I couldn't before, not with what was going on, then after the operations, all I did was learn what I needed. So to answer your unfinished question, yes, I am a virgin, a female virgin. I haven't even kissed anyone since Ginny.'
'Well, the first time is a little uncomfortable, but it's over quick then you just enjoy it. Naturally if the man is on the large size...oh, I just realised, you would have that removed,' Hermione blushed.
'Yep, my cock and balls got cut off, bloody painful after, I tell you. But so worth it in the end.'
'Oh, I think if any man heard that, it would make them faint, or throw up.'
'Oh, yeah, but Rose Vanes is happy with her body and her life.'
'You do look content, something Harry never did. When did you realise you wanted to be a woman?'
'I always knew there was something not quite right, but I could never figure it out. When we were in that tent, sometimes I would try to clear my head. it started with the dreams though, dreams of me transforming. I was shocked when I woken up, then I started to think about it. One time you and Ron were out looking for food, I um, tried on one of your tops. Staring at myself in a girls top, made me smile. The first thing I wore after I was healed was a dress my mother owned. I went there right after Hogwarts, took my father's clothes and shoes, then packed up my mother's clothes. I figured until I was ready to go shopping, at least I had dresses, bra's, that type of stuff. So I'm standing in front of a mirror in my mother's dress and I couldn't stop laughing. It was me, I finally saw the real me. I went out and spent five thousand pounds on clothes, makeup, moisturisers, everything a woman needed and lot's of shoes.'
Hermione giggled, 'Woman and their shoes. So, you still have the cloak and albus and your wand?'
'Yes, but I have another wand I use in the shop. I didn't want anyone to recognise the holly wand. The cloak and albus stay in a room at the house, it's sealed so no one can get in there, but only that room, not the house. I figured I might make friends so I had to be careful what I showed about myself.'
'Okay, what if Ron and I go to your place, Ron might ask why there are no pictures of you as a child or even as a teenager.'
'I fixed that just in case. I got hold of some pictures of my mother and father when they were kids and right through their teenage years. Then using a computer, I worked on them, just changing a little here and there, there was one of my father at seventeen, I changed that to resemble me. I would put my mother's hair on his head, then her body, stuff like that. Unless you know about these muggle computer programs, no one would know they weren't real, even then it would be hard to tell.'
'Very clever, you will have to show me.'
'If anyone would pick up on the truth from those pictures, it would be you. But it's getting late and I have to open my shop early in the morning.'
'I promise to never reveal the truth...Rose, you have my word.'
'Rose smiled, 'I know and I'm sorry, it was selfish of me, I should have let you know I was alive. I was in a bad way when I first left. It took me a while to get over everything that happened,' Rose smiled again as Hermione hugged her, 'I'm here, for good and I'll work out a time for you and Ron to visit.'
'Just don't disappear on me again.'
'I won't, I promise,' Rose smiled then stepped through the door, gave Hermione another wave, who was smiling hugely, then Rose disapparated, landing in her garden.
'After showering Rose walked naked into her bedroom and got into bed. But while Rose tried to sleep, she kept going over the look on Hermione's face when she knew the truth, she was truly happy. So Rose knew Hermione would never tell a soul her secret because Hermione knew if word got out, Rose would leave, for good and no one will find her again. Rose was glad she told Hermione, they were always close and even now after all this time, they were still good friends. It was like Hermione and Rose were meant to find each other, but in a new way, a new life, a new friendship but with the old friendship tucked neatly and secretly away.
Rose had a very busy day in her shop, but there had been one surprise, Molly Weasley stepped inside with two little red headed children.
'Mrs Weasley, Rose said you might drop in,' Rose smiled.
'He did, but how did you know it was me dear?'
'Hermione showed me the family portrait. These must be two of your grandchildren,' Rose smiled down at the two little boys.
'Yes, Martin and Michael, they just turned two.'
'They are very nice looking boys,' Rose took a vial from the shelf, 'This is the potion I mentioned to Ron. You need to take all of it in one go and you never have to use glasses to read.'
'Thank you dear, I do not need them apart from reading,' Molly put four sickles on the counter, 'If you don't mind me asking, what made you think of making this potion?'
'I knew someone a long time ago that constantly broke...her glasses,' Rose didn't want anyone to become suspicious, saying he might have made Molly think of Harry, 'She was a bit of a klutz.'
'My daughter-in-law told me how often she used to repair a friend's glasses. Now though, since I am here, I have a daughter, mother of these two, she is contantly biting her finger nails. We've tried everything we can think of but nothing helps.'
'Actually, there is a muggle remedy for that. Give me a minute and I'll get the polish,' Rose hurried through the back of the shop, into the house and to the bathroom. She grabbed what she needed before hurrying back to the shop, 'This is a muggle nail polish, it's clear but it tastes disgusting. I had a bit of a problem a while back; I couldn't stop biting my nails. So every time she sticks her nail in her mouth, she will taste this, but it won't hurt her in any way. You can take this, get her to try it and if it works I can let you know where to buy more.'
'Oh thank you dear and your nails are beautiful, so it must work. Who would believe that muggles can come up with things that work when we can't.'
'Actually, I found a lot of things in the muggle world that works better than magical things. I've been adapting muggle stuff to my potions, like the shampoo I use. Brewing potions can be brutal on hair, so I used this muggle shampoo for a long time until I combined some of the ingredients with my potions ingredients.'
'You must be dedicated, but I never thought to ask Ron how he came to know you.'
'I met Hermione, we became friends instantly then I met Ron. I've been to dinner with them a few times.'
'You are about their age. Alright, thank you again dear, I should get these two home before their father picks them up. I might have to get Ron and Hermione to bring you to dinner one night, when the whole family is together.'
'That would be lovely,' Rose smiled as she watched Molly Weasley leave, 'I will have to be out of town or something, I can't get too close to too many people.'
That even, Rose finished her sandwich, cleaned the kitchen and just sat down with a glass of wine when someone knocked on her door. Looking confused, Rose opened the door to see Severus Snape standing there.
'Severus.'
'I apologise for coming to your home Rose, but I have an urgent matter to discuss with you.'
'Very well, come in, please,' Rose waiting until Severus stepped inside, closed the door and lead him through to the living room, 'Would you like a glass of wine?'
'No, thank you. I should get right to it. I believe you lied to me Rose, about Lily Evans.'
'I said I don't know her Severus and I don't. And I don't appreciate you calling me a liar.'
Severus help up two things, a picture of Lily and the name Rose Vanes, then Vanes changed to Evans.
'Are you Lily's daughter?'
'No, I am not,' Rose turned her back, 'From what I know and heard, she never had a daughter, only a son.'
'Your last name is an anagram of Evans. Your name is a flower, just like Lily and You have a lily painted on the window of your shop. Now, please, I need to know how you are connected to Lily.'
'Why is this so important to you Severus?'
'I love Lily Evans, when she died, I gave my word to always protect her son, but he disappeared. Then you turn up years later, looking like Lily. I find myself attracted to you, but I need the truth, so will you please explain.'
'If i tell you, then you have to swear to never repeat this to anyone.'
'I give my word; I would even make an unbreakable vow with you.'
'That won't be necessary, you were always good at keeping secrets,' Rose sighed, 'I never knew Lily so I was telling the truth. She was my mother, but,' Rose sighed again, 'not in the way you think,' Rose turned back to face Severus, 'I left for a few reasons, one was my life. I almost couldn't deal with some things I found out. The second reason was because I always knew something wasn't quite right with me. It took me a while to work it out, when I did, I went and had a muggle operation, a sex change. Don't you see Severus, I'm Harry, or I was Harry.'
Severus collapsed into an armchair, 'Potter.'
'No, I'm Rose Vanes, I am a woman, not him anymore, I had everything removed and...' Rose sighed and sat down, 'Your memory, what I found out, I couldn't deal with that. At one time I did consider ending my life. When I realised who I was meant to be, I decided to give myself a chance to live but I could only do that as Rose. I never expected to ever see you even when I got your orders. Then that first day we spoke, I practically ran back home. I knew you didn't know who I was, not who I used to be, but I felt something, something I never did before. I'm sorry if this has caused any problems for you, but I didn't want anyone to know who I used to be.'
'So...you changed, completely?'
'Yes, it took a year to change, all the different operations, it was painful but I was meant to be a woman. Severus, I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, or make you feel awkward, but I am a woman, so you were not attracted to a man.'
'I'm not sure what to think right now...P,' Severus stopped, 'How can I be sure you are a woman?'
'Do you want me to show you?'
Severus noticed Rose blushed, 'That won't be necessary...Rose.'
Rose could tell Severus was a little embarrassed, 'Was it me you were attracted to or was it because I look like my mother?'
'At first it was Lily, but you still have certain parts of you that are not Lily. When I thought you were her daughter, I did not think it was right, but I had to know before I could decide what I was going to do.'
'So, now you know who I really am, born her son who you never liked, but now I'm a woman, you don't want me, which I do understand. That is why I've kept to myself all these years; I don't want to be rejected because of my change.'
'Are you saying you've never had a relationship?'
Rose shook her head, 'No, I haven't, so that should tell you I'm still a virgin. You never liked me before, so it's okay even if I am a woman. But one thing you should know Severus, I am more my mother than my father. Anyway, I hope you can still keep my secret, if someone finds out, then I have to leave, for good this time. It was a risk coming back here, but I always felt that Hogsmeade was home in a way, but I can't have anyone finding out,' Rose sighed, 'Maybe I should just leave, you and Hermione know the truth.'
'Don't leave, I will keep your secret. I know Mrs Weasley will, she always did.'
'I don't want you to feel awkward when you come into town.'
'I won't and even though this was a big shock, you are attractive and I would like to get to know you Rose.'
'But you know who I was.'
'Was being the appropriate word, you are now Rose, a very attractive woman,' Severus stood up then went over to sit beside Rose, 'We felt those electric charges when we touched, I knew what it meant, that's why I needed to know the truth. If you were Lily's daughter, I had to make sure I was attracted to you for you, not for Lily. Then if you were her daughter, would starting something with you be right.'
'I never intended for anyone to find out, but I also couldn't let you believe I was her daughter and not her son. When Hermione explained about her depression and part of it was to do with...Harry, I had to tell her. So the name I chose is what got you suspicious?'
'No, your looks did, then one day I was looking through the few pictures I have of Lily, there was also one of you during the triwizard tournament. I sat and kept writing your name but I was thinking about Lily, Lily Evans. If you were so worried about someone finding out then why use Rose and why a picture of a lily?'
'I wanted to keept a part of the real me. I couldn't keep my naem, this was the simplest way. Severus, I am attracted to you, but you have to make sure I am who you want, me, not Lily and you have to forget who I used to be.'
Severus stared into green eyes, then smiled before he brushed his lips lightly over Rose's lips, surprising her; but that is all Severus saw, a beautiful woman.
