The roaring waves and myriad of gull cries welcomed the trio to the little cluster of islands they called home. Riku took a breath deep into his chest to relish the salty sea air. Even the way the sun warmed his aching body was completely different than any other world he visited. Despite having been back here quite a few times over the past year, this was his first real time back on the Islands.
"So much for nothing's changed." Sora muttered beside him. Riku looked over to Sora to see what exactly he meant by that. To him, nothing really had changed. It was the same old street, the same old lanterns, and the same row upon row of terracotta roofs that were always there. As he followed Sora's line of sight, he came to lie eyes on a new sign. In big bold red letters it read, "No boating after 9 pm."
Riku couldn't help an annoyed sigh escape his lips. "Sora, that's always been there."
"Really?" Sora's spiked hair bounced as his former slouch disappeared.
"Yes, always."
"Huh, well…I guess I never followed that rule." Sora put a hand on his chin in thought then snapped his fingers. "So, then nothing has changed! Great!"
Nope, it really hasn't. Riku silently was amused by his friends never-changing disposition. Despite everything Sora really was exactly the same- well for the most part. He had grown a bit after all.
"Hey you two! You're lagging behind come on!" Riku heard a familiar voice rang out from beyond the hill. His eyes caught sight of a hand barely visible over the hilltop waving wildly.
"We're coming Kairi! Sorry!" Sora quickly straightened up before bursting into a run ahead of him.
Riku kept a laugh himself and fell in behind him with a jog. Knowing Sora, he's probably afraid she'll reprimand him somehow. Riku couldn't help but think back to the times where Kairi was taskmaster while they were building the raft. Any time Sora would slack off she'd come up behind him and knock him on the head. Sora would sheepishly explain he was just on a break, not that she believed him. In retaliation Kairi would explain that everyone but him was pitching in. It would only take a couple apologies before Sora would go running off again to gather what she needed.
Riku would be there watching the exchange. He remembered at that time being irritated that the two of them seemed to off in their own world. Back then he didn't really know why, but now he realized he felt out of place. Thankfully, he came to understand those thoughts were lies. Kairi had dragged Riku with her to meet Sora again, despite his appearance at the time. And Sora, with his blubbering tear-streaked face, had scolded him for running away. Riku laughed as he imagined his friend's face at the time.
"What's so funny?" Sora asked. He had already fallen in line beside Kairi.
"Your face, as usual." Riku replied with a smug. As Sora lunged for him Riku put a hand on his friend's face and pushed him away.
Kairi chuckled at the gesture. "Your face can be really funny Sora." She began, then pointed towards the town square just ahead. "You two better shape up before we see our friends. It's been a while, so you better make a good impression!"
"Huh? Impression? Why?" Sora tilted his head to the side.
"They forgot about you for a year, Sora." Kairi hung her head. Her eyes wouldn't meet Sora's for a moment before she burst back into a smile. "So, to make sure that never happens again, make yourself memorable!"
Riku felt his muscles tense. Sora really had been forgotten, by everyone, for a long time. Everyone, even Kairi had forgotten him. Riku, despite going through the same castle, no one forgot him. A pang of guilt crawled its way back into his heart. He stopped and watched the backs of his friends continue forward. Did he deserve to come back? How could he face them, after all this time? Riku looked down at his hand, the cloth wrapped around it reminded him of the days he spent waiting. Waiting for Sora to wake up, for him to return home to Kairi and for Riku…
He never thought much farther. While Sora was asleep, he couldn't keep himself away from the Islands. He could go anywhere he wanted, search any world, yet he would come back to this place. For hours he would stare out at the mainland till the sun rolled past the horizon. He wondered how they were doing, Kairi, his parents, his friends, the townspeople- were they happy? Riku dared once to go and check, to see how they were all faring. But in the end- once he stepped foot on that shore, anxiety coursed through his veins. He didn't want anyone to see him, that coat, his eyes, and the truth they hid behind them. All that confidence that he displayed, his boasts of seeing new worlds and learning new things- all of it he threw away because he feared being left behind. Darkness wafted at his feet, reminding him of how tainted he was. In that moment, it was easier to run away, as far as the corridors of darkness could take him.
"Riku?" A voice dripping with concern rung out, breaking Riku free of his mental shackles. He looked up to see Sora staring at him, his blue eyes brimming with concern.
"Did you go off somewhere again?" Then, another voice made Riku's pulse quicken. That same fear gnawed at his heart. He instinctively used his wrist to cover his eyes. He didn't want to see them. No, he didn't want them to see him so afraid of himself, even now. He thought he was over it. But even now that shame he felt back then was so clearly present that he doubted the darkness was at bay. This time with his two friends, could he even bring himself to meet with everyone he left behind?
Two hands grabbed his arm and pulled it away. With his eyes still closed, Riku hoped they would just leave him alone. Walk on past to meet their friends and leave him behind.
"Riku, there's no reason to be scared of facing them." Kairi softly began patting his hand.
"Even if you are scared, which I'm sure you're more embarrassed than anything..." Sora laid a hand on his shoulder, and lightly tapped it. "We'll get your hair cut soon! It's only hair!"
Riku opened his eyes, his mouth agape. He couldn't believe it, how unmistakably Sora of him.
Kairi grimaced as a brow began to twitch. "Sora uh, that's not…" She began then looked to Riku. "I guess you really do need a haircut?"
Riku looked between his two friends, then burst into laughter. "I guess I really do huh?"
Sora grinned brightly and seemed plenty proud of himself for guessing "correctly." He took began to laugh and put an arm around his friend. "After seeing everyone we'll go to Kairi's and chop it off. Right?" He looked to a bemused Kairi who meekly nodded before giving Riku an apologetic pat on the back.
"Yep, sounds good to me." Riku replied, getting Sora back with a ruffle of his hair. Although Sora would never know it, Riku was always grateful for him to break past the fog and bring him back to his senses. All the self-deprecation in the world was no match for Sora.
"Hey! What's so funny? I feel like I'm missing out now." A perky voice chirped as the girl it belonged to bounced towards them. With her signature flipped hair and cheery disposition Selphie inserted herself between the three and peered up at Riku. "Wow Riku! You're taller now!" she began, then took a quick look at Sora before sighing. "Gosh I thought maybe I imagined you Sora! But here you are!" Selphie grabbed Sora by the arm, not even pausing for the boy to reply. "Wakka and Tidus are playing Blitzball over there, we should go!"
"But um- wait uh Selphie? I didn't say hi yet!" Sora barely got a word in before the yellow-clad brunette was blazing past Kairi, dragging Sora further down the path straight to a slightly shabby area-entrance. Riku recognized it as their school's old gymnasium, and immediately felt a pang of nostalgia.
"She's, well, the same. As you can see." Kairi grabbed Riku by the arm and dragged him alongside her to catch up with the other two. "Wakka and Tidus are too. Still massive sports aficionados. You'll see."
Riku felt a strange warmth. Selphie was exactly as he remembered, vivacious, bright, and a bit too much of an airhead. A wave of relief rolled over him. The roaring storm within him calmed to a standstill as he entered the arena. It was replaced with a sense of awe and excitement seeing an orb of suspended water overhead. Inside it, a taller Wakka and more muscular Tidus threw and kicked a ball back and forth.
"Woah! This is new! What are they doing?" Sora's voice echoed through the space, bouncing off the empty rows of benches.
"Blitzball! I told you!" Selphie chastised him, wagging a finger as she usually did when scolding her friends. "Geez, we talked about how they were installing it right before you guys left."
Really? Riku didn't really remember such a thing, but knowing Selphie, Wakka, and Tidus they probably didn't mention it to them. He was ashamed to admit it, but Riku was too tied up in building the raft to care about anything else. Selphie once told him how frustrated she was seeing the three of them off in their own world, dreaming of exploring. His head was too filled with dreams, and his heart too anxious to leave to care about anything else.
"Oh…yeah. I never really paid attention to what they said in school." Sora admitted. He placed his hands behind his head and leaned back before looking to Riku. "Guess we ought to join them?"
Riku's eyes widened. Kairi tugged on his shirt to gain his attention. "You should go join in. It's pretty fun. Just have to-" Kairi took a long inhale of breath then let it out. "Take a deep breath and dive in!" She puffed out her chest and placed her hands on her hips. With a wide grin on her face she pushed Riku's back with both hands to nudge him along.
"Kairi's an ace at this! All you got to do is hold your breath and kick the ball into the goal." Selphie began imitating the gesture with her own legs. Raising both hands in the air she jumped up to illustrate a goalie. "Once you score- then bam! A win!"
"It's not that simple Selphie." Kairi pointed out with her nose in the air. "There are rules to follow."
"Rules?" Sora uttered, his voice sounding as if he suddenly choked on a ball of air.
Riku locked eyes with Sora who must have been thinking the same thing- Kairi had played this game? Already? And she knew the rules? Her aura radiated confidence. The image of her dominating the arena came to mind. Kicking ball after ball and making goal after goal seemed just her style. Riku knew to never underestimate his friend.
"Go burn off some steam you two!" Kairi called out. She waved to the two of them as Sora reluctantly began walking off towards the entrance. Riku, not one to be intimidated, followed behind. Maybe she was right, a game with those two might just help ease the awkwardness to follow.
Much to Riku's expectations, the game was impossible to follow. Sora had begun the game casting Aero on himself after almost drowning. This caused him to be disqualified, leaving Riku battling one on two. Inevitably, Wakka and Tidus were the champs. And boy, did they rub it in.
"Sora! The look on your face man, priceless!" Wakka chortled. His voice was an octave lower than before, but he still looked mostly the same. Although taller, he still wore the same type of bandanna and bore his brotherly aura with pride.
"You looked like a dead fish, all blue and purple. Gosh so funny." Tidus, now exuding confidence, wore a slightly more complicated outfit- no doubt to show off his hard-earned muscles. Riku didn't doubt that he had been training relentlessly over the year. Both distinctly were more weathered by the sun, but that same unrestrained energy was there. However, he did wonder why Tidus' shorts were asymmetrical.
"Geez, I mean what'd you expect? I almost drown okay?" Sora uttered, he bit off a leg of the dried squid Selphie passed out earlier. As he gnawed angrily, Riku was reminded of just how sore of a loser he could be. After every race Riku would win, Sora would go off sulking to the secret place. At least now he wasn't as keen to run off.
"Aw you guys that was surprisingly good for a first game! Next time, Tidus and Wakka will teach you the ropes." Selphie waved a stick in the air. It had previously housed a row of soft multicolored mochi. Apparently, her gluttonous streak never left either. Kairi, still nibbling on hers, nodded in agreement at the suggestion.
"Of course! We're always up for more players." Tidus added, he balled his hand into a fist and shook it. "Maybe we'll get enough for a national team!"
"I wouldn't count on that just yet." Wakka began, then shot a knowing look towards Riku and Sora. "You two aren't staying here long, are you?"
Riku and Sora looked to each other, surprised at how intuitive Wakka had become. Thinking back, he did seem to say wise things. "Yeah, we actually have to leave again soon. Sorry. Maybe next time!" Sora beamed as he finished off his snack. Riku couldn't help but notice Kairi avert her eyes at that moment.
"I'll take you up on the training next time. But we'll be back, promise." Riku added, then took a drink of the lemonade Selphie had prepared. It was cool and sour yet sickly sweet. He coughed at the sudden burst of flavors. He could see Kairi hide a smile. Yeah, they'd be back, he knew it.
"Aw too bad. That raft is too fun to travel on, huh? Be careful and send postcards!" Selphie yet again wagged her finger as she laid out her orders.
While Tidus and Wakka began adding their two cents to the idea, Riku found himself staring up at the rolling clouds above. As they all sat sprawled out on the arena floor, tired yet overflowing with contentment-Riku closed his eyes to cherish the moment. Coming back wasn't hard. It was nostalgic, comfortable, and a relief. Connections weren't as fragile as he once thought.
A/N: Thank you for reading! I've always related to Riku's journey of self-acceptance and his struggle with guilt. Going from being this arrogant kid exuding confidence to the almost shy and self-deprecating Riku from KH2 always struck me. Growing up I felt a lot of the similar feelings Riku expressed. I desperately didn't want to be left behind, yet felt guilty for all my past actions, even if it wasn't my fault. Now, as a young adult I really resonate with Riku's acceptance of himself. I've come to accept myself too, thanks to those I love around me. I love his growth from post-KH2 to his now strong and calm demeanor in KH3. Maybe I'll reach that calmness someday too. However, I felt like I wanted to explore the Riku before KH3D- who may still be fearful and unsure of himself. How would that Riku react to seeing his friends from the Islands again? Thus, this story was born! If you liked this fic please leave a kudos or comment!
