Chapter 2
So, a little bit of a shorter chapter, but it's quite an emotional ride. There have to be compromises in live, I guess.
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Ahsoka figured it out already, but truly hearing it from Obi-Wan made it so much more real. She stood up abruptly.
"I need some space," she said and started to walk away. She tried to stay calm, but the moment she was out of sight she started running. She had no idea where she was going, but she needed to get away from this. She couldn't. It already haunted her. She crashed down into the sand and let out all her anger through the Force. she had the feeling she screamed as well but didn't really know if that was in her mind or in real life. She felt the powerful surge she'd released through the Force and was sure that Obi-Wan had felt it too. She also knew he wouldn't dare approach her now, just like he'd stayed away when something like this happened with Anakin-
Ahsoka didn't dare finish that trail of thought. Anakin. Her former master. Her best friend. The one who had told her he would never let anyone hurt her. He'd murdered all her friends. He'd betrayed everything they stood for. He'd betrayed her. How could he do this?!
After Ahsoka got all her frustrations out in the Force – and the sand. Don't judge. Sand's not good for anything anyway – she got back up and walked further, leaving a huge crater behind. Without actively looking for it, she found herself back at the Lars Homestead. Luke was still playing outside, she saw. She sat down and watched him. Anakin's son. Now she knew why he was here. His father had betrayed his family. He couldn't raise a child as a Sith Lord. If only she had known. She could've helped, could've done something. She started crying, but she made sure she wasn't heard by Luke or any of the others living here.
Ahsoka watched Luke play in the sand for what felt like forever, silently crying and thinking about the past. Mainly the question: what if she had stayed? Would Anakin have fallen to the Dark Side if she'd been there for him? Was it her fault? No! stop it Ahsoka! You can't blame his stupid mistakes on yourself. He did this to himself. But she couldn't help wondering.
Obi-Wan joined her after a while. "I'm sorry Ahsoka," was the first thing he said.
"There's nothing you have to apologize for," Ahsoka said with a blank expression. She didn't even know when she had stopped crying. She was sure the tearstains were still visible on her face, though.
"I do, you haven't gotten the whole story yet."
"Then tell me. You've already told me what he did, although indirectly. What more could you hide." There was a bitterness in Ahsoka's voice that shocked even herself. She shouldn't be mad at Obi-Wan. This was Anakin's fault. She should blame Anakin. But the more she told herself that, the more impossible it felt to do just that.
Obi-Wan sighed. "Anakin had been having dreams. At that time, I had no idea what they were about, now I do. He had dreams of Padmé dying in childbirth. He was desperate to do something about it, all while not telling anyone what was really happening. I wish he would've told me, but I can see why he didn't. It hurts to think he didn't trust me enough, but I understand. Palpatine, also known as Darth Sidious now, was there for Anakin. He'd apparently figured it out. He fed Anakin stories of how he could save her using the Dark Side of the Force. Anakin became desperate, I could feel it. Palpatine decided to make it worse by asking Anakin to take a seat at the Council for him. The Council didn't agree, but in the end, he was given a seat. The only thing different would be that he would not be granted the rank of master-"
Obi-Wan couldn't finish his sentence because Ahsoka interrupted him. "He got into the Council but was no master? How is that even fair!" she exclaimed. She knew immediately that Anakin hadn't dealt well with that. She wouldn't have, either.
Obi-Wan continued. "It's not. I see that now. But Master Windu had decided. After that I gave him the mission I told you about on Mandalore. He had to spy on the Chancellor. You already know he wasn't happy about that. Later he was the one who found out that Palpatine was the Sith Lord. Surprisingly enough, he reported it to the Council. I remember from a HoloCall that Windu would take a team of Masters up to the Chancellor to arrest him. The next thing I knew the clones attacked me. When I got back to Coruscant and saw Master Yoda we went to the Temple together. From the security footage I figured out Anakin had gone after the masters send to arrest Palpatine, against Mace Windu's orders, and that every single one of them was dead. The bodies of the Masters were found, but Windu never was. We don't know what happened to him. Thanks to the Temple recordings we knew it was Anakin and the 501st that attacked the Temple."
Ahsoka got a shudder from that piece of information. The 501st battalion. The one she'd served with for the greater part of the war. They too murdered her friends. She decided to let it go for now and let Obi-Wan finish his story.
"I went to Padmé, telling her what had happened. I'd figured their relationship out by then. She was devastated by the news of what he had done. She knew where he went and decided to go to Mustafar to bring him back. I snuck on board her ship. Padmé tried to reason with Anakin, but it was too late. I knew I needed to stop him. But seeing me did not do him any good. He almost killed Padmé because he thought she'd betrayed him by bringing me with her. She fell unconscious but was still alive.
We fought afterwards. I didn't lie when I said it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Eventually I won the duel, but it wasn't pretty. I had to remove his remaining limbs to end it. He had become so powerful with the Dark Side. As the Chosen One, we knew he was powerful. We never expected it to go that far. He… he burned in the lava. I thought it was the end for him. I couldn't watch him die, so I left. I saved Padmé and brought her to Polis Massa where she gave birth to twins. A boy and a girl. Luke and Leia. She died immediately afterwards. Senator Organa took in Leia and I brought Luke here. Yoda went into exile and so did I. I truly thought Anakin was gone, but I guess Palpatine saved him, because the stories of the new Sith Lord enforcer of the Emperor reach every part of the galaxy. It wasn't hard for me to figure out it was him."
Ahsoka took it all in in silence. She could hardly believe it. She didn't know what to say. Eventually she decided to go with the one that hurt the least to talk about.
"So, there is another child of them on Alderaan?"
"Yes. From what I currently know she is their princess and is being loved and spoiled by many."
Ahsoka nodded at that, although it hardly seemed fair. They were twins but one was obviously better off than the other. Oh, if only they had their parents. Did the boy know that these weren't his parents? She was really tempted to go down there and tell him about his parents and that she'd known them.
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka stayed and watched the Lars family for a little while longer in silence. Both thinking about what had happened and what was to come.
=O=
The rest of the day was spent mostly in silence. Ahsoka knew this wasn't how she usually acted, but who could blame her. She'd just gotten the awful news of what had happened. It was a lot to take in and she wasn't managing that all that well at all. Obi-Wan had made no move to break her non-stop thinking and pondering. She got the feeling that he didn't really speak all that much anymore in general. She could understand. He'd truly distanced himself from any kind of society.
Ahsoka could never live like this. She needed people around her. She was a Togruta after all. They worked better in groups. To be alone like this, to put yourself in a situation like this, Ahsoka could never do that to herself. That was also one of the reasons she knew she couldn't stay here with Obi-Wan. Yet she was too afraid to say that to him.
Ahsoka went to bed the moment they got back to Obi-Wan's home. She was exhausted from being angry and all the thinking and crying she'd done. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see visions of Anakin slaughtering younglings in the Temple. She would open her eyes again with tears threatening to leak onto her face, only to try and make sure the tears never left her eyes and try to keep them open.
After several hours of trying but failing to get some rest, Ahsoka decided to get up. She remembered Obi-Wan said the desert was dangerous at night, but she couldn't bring herself to care about her safety right now.
Ahsoka walked out of the small cave home and made her way up a hill. She looked at the stars and sighed. She focused on the bond with her master, finding it ever dormant as always. Now knowing it didn't mean he was dead but that he fell, and hard.
Right then and there she made a promise to do better for the galaxy. She couldn't sit here and do nothing. She would help those that needed her, for that was what Padmé would've done. She would fight for the people enslaved by the Empire, for that was what Anakin would've fought for, had he still been himself. But she wouldn't only do it for herself. She wasn't there to keep Anakin from falling, so she owed it to the galaxy to make it up to all of them. She would fight, one way or another.
With that in the back of her mind she went back to bed, finally falling into a restless sleep. She felt herself slip away with the final thought that tomorrow she would start making things better.
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