I hate Valentine's Day. Perhaps this will show you why.
Alphys and Undyne both got home from work at the same time. Alphys seemed irritated about something, and Undyne knew it.
"Alphy," Undyne started. "You seem pissed. Do I need to punch someone?"
Alphys let out a chuckle.
"No, it's just..." she paused. "The University insists on having all kinds of Valentine's Day propaganda all over the place. I cannot go anywhere without red and pink hearts and crap all over the place."
"Valentine's Day?" Undyne asked. "Oh, now I remember. It's that human tradition shortly after Christmas where the man has to sink a ton of money into flowers, candies, and all kinds of other romantic shit for his lady, lest he spend a week sleeping in the doghouse."
"It's even worse when you're single," Alphys added. "If you're single, it's society's way of giving you the bird."
"Huh, I was wondering why so many people at the station seemed depressed," Undyne commented. "I did get invited to a bar karaoke party on that day, but I am also sick of all the love songs everyone insists on playing."
"I prefer rock and metal, anyway," Alphys added.
Both of them looked at each other as virtual lightbulbs appeared above their heads.
-Big Joe's Bar, Valentine's Night-
Alphys and Undyne were eager for their turn.
"And now," the announcer declared. "A duet by a monster couple, Alphys and Undyne!"
The two monsters took the stage and each picked up a microphone.
(AN: For this duet, I am just going to list the name of who sings before the lyrics. Also, this is to the tune of "Baby" by Beiber.)
Alphys:
"Ohhhhhhhh."
"Ohhhhhhhh."
Ohhhhhhh a ho."
(AN: Psyc!)
Undyne:
I did my time, and I want out!
So effusive fade, it doesn't cut,
The soul is not so vibrant,
The reckoning, the sickening,
Packaging subversion,
Pseudo sacrosanct perversion!
Go drill your deserts,
Go dig your graves,
Then fill your mouth with all the money you will save!
Sinking in, getting smaller again,
I'm done! It has begun,
I'm not the only one!
Alphys:
And the rain will kill us all.
Throw ourselves against the wall,
But no one else can see,
The preservation of the martyr in me!
Alphys and Undyne:
PSYCHOSOCIAL! PYSCHOSOCIAL! PYSCHO...
The speakers and the music came to an abrupt stop as the announcer realized what was going on. The reaction throughout the entire bar was mixed. Some of the patrons were annoyed by the choice of music, while others thought it was hilarious.
"We said love songs only," the announcer declared. "Get off the stage!"
Undyne and Alphys left the stage and the bar in tears from laughing so hard.
"Undyne," Alphys started, still fighting the giggling fit she was under. "Thank you. This was the best Valentine's Day ever!"
"Thank you for being my Valentine," Undyne replied. "I may hate this stupid holiday, but at least I have you!"
"Yeah, I don't need any of that fancy crap," Alphys stated. "As long as I have you, I'm happy."
After a tender kiss and a hug, they both entered their car and headed home.
AN: Call me bitter, but this is without a doubt the worst time of the entire year for me. I cannot stand having all the commercialism shit blasted at me when I'm shopping, at work, or on social media. Also, as someone who is doomed to be a bachelor for life, again, it feels like I'm being told to go (censored) myself.
Editorial aside, this chapter also references the "Psychosocial Baby" meme. It's hilarious, so check it out if you don't know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, with no reviews to address, I'm gonna end it early. Sorry my chapters are getting shorter and more infrequent, but I'm on my last year of school. Can't stop now!
