Chapter 17
16 days without The Clone Wars. I'm still not okay. Enjoy your day.
review:
littlesky33by: Thank you for your review! I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations :) It made my day to read that you find this story amazing 3
Ahsoka couldn't breathe. His presence was overwhelming, even given the fact that she'd closed herself off from the Force entirely. He couldn't feel her presence. She couldn't reveal her identity to him. Not yet.
Force, he looked so imposing. That armor, the helmet and faceplate. The sound his respirator made, that reached her montrals easily. He truly looked like a monster. She couldn't help but silently cry inside for what he'd become. Yes, of course she'd known for almost a year now, but to see it right in front of her… Nothing made it more real like that.
"And so the Jedi reveals herself," Vader said, and did his voice just sound so scary through that voice modulator.
Ahsoka almost shivered. His coldness crept all over her. She stayed silent but took a step forward. She needed him to be closer for her plan to work. It would take a lot of energy, so the shorter the distance, the less energy she put in.
Ahsoka raised her arms as a sign of surrender. She hung her head in defeat, to sell the point even more.
Without saying anything else, Vader stalked forward and drew his lightsaber, igniting it. Making Ahsoka realize just what he was about to do.
He was going to kill her!
Ahsoka should've expected it, to be honest, but to see him react like that so fast was a shock. She let her hold on the Force go and scrambled for their bond before he was within reach. Him killing her would kind of disrupt her whole plan and purpose here.
Vader's shields were snapping in place the moment Ahsoka tried to connect, but she was faster. With all her might, she pushed memories into this mind. It had the effect she'd hoped for. He faltered.
Voices rushed through her head, as she knew it also did through his.
"-I'm assigned to Anakin Skywalker, and he is to supervise my Jedi training-"
"-You're reckless little one. You never would've made is as Obi-Wan's padawan. But you might make it as mine-"
"-Take heart little one. That's the reality of command-"
"-And because of you, I did survive." "I don't know what to say." "I do. Thank you, Master." "you're welcome, my Padawan-"
"-I would never let anyone hurt you Ahsoka, never." "Anakin, you have to trust me now." "Ahsoka I do trust you." "I know you do. Wish me luck-"
"-I'm sorry master, but I'm not coming back." "Ahsoka, you are making a mistake." "I understand wanting to walk away from the Order." "I know-"
"-Hello Master. It's been a while." "A- Ahsoka. Wha- I don't believe it. How are you? Where are you? A- are you okay?-"
"-Anakin, good luck-"
Ahsoka pulled away from his mind and used all the energy she had left – which wasn't much – to jump up to the hovering shuttle. The jump pushed her robe away from her. Her hood fell off. The moment she landed, she looked down. His helmet was tilted up, signaling that he was looking at her. But she could already feel that. The Force told her he was staring at her intently.
The shuttle started moving and the ramp started to close, but she kept looking. Nobody down there made a move. Ahsoka's plan had worked. They were getting away.
The moment the ramp closed was the moment Ahsoka felt like she could breathe again. That was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. Her entire mind and body hurt. He was so incredibly powerful. Taking him on mentally had been almost impossible.
When she stepped out into the main area of the shuttle she was greeted with worried questions.
"I'm fine," was all Ahsoka answered with. "My plan worked. We got away. Now let's go into hiding. We can't afford to stay on their radars."
They all took her dismissal begrudgingly but listened. Yet Ahsoka knew they would want to talk to her about this later.
=O=
In the meantime, Vader had been looking at the retreating shuttle.
He had not expected the breach of his mind. Least of all the memories it pushed through. Those were the memories of Anakin Skywalker and his failed apprentice, Ahsoka Tano.
When the former Jedi jumped up on that shuttle and he really saw her, was the moment it truly got through to him. And at that moment Skywalker took the lead, pushing Vader back. Because that was Ahsoka Tano. She was here. She was alive.
Staring at her made her name slip from his mouth. It wasn't loud enough for the vocoder to pick up, but he heard it with his own ears. "Ahsoka," was said with so much pain and grief.
Only when they were out of range did his senses come back. The rage returned, and he couldn't believe he let that shuttle leave.
"I want a planetwide search. Find me those rebels. And bring me the failed Jedi Ahsoka Tano," Vader ordered, his voice booming. Everyone around him moved to get to work.
Vader had his work cut out for him. His focus should be on the Onderon rebels, but his sole purpose was on finding Ahsoka and taking her in. He was not losing her again.
=O=
The flight back to Saw's secret hiding base took longer now than before. That was of course because they had to take a detour. They couldn't risk being tracked.
Ahsoka was silent for the entirety of the flight. Since her dismissal of her friends she hadn't said a word. She just sat in the back, silently staring at the wall. Jax had even checked if she was still breathing. She truly showed no signs of life. To be fair, Ahsoka did feel like she was dead to the world at that moment anyways.
Tears were burning behind Ahsoka's eyes, but she couldn't cry. She would have no way of explaining it to anyone. But Force did she want to just ugly cry right now.
Anakin – Vader – tried to kill her!
The hopeful part of her told her that he didn't yet know who she was and when he did, he made no further move to attack, but the rational part told her it didn't matter. She was a former Jedi and that was worth being killed for.
All Ahsoka could do not to cry was hold on to that hopeful part that he still cared for her. He hadn't forced her out of his mind. He didn't pull her down when she jumped to the shuttle and he didn't stop the shuttle when they took off, even though Ahsoka knew he was capable of all of those options.
That information gave Ahsoka reason to believe he cared for her, still. That must be it. Again, the rational part of her mind told her it was just his shock at seeing her. He probably thought she'd died. She'd done her best to cover her tracks ever since escaping from Mandalore all those years ago.
But the rational part of her mind wasn't the one Ahsoka would be listening to right now. She didn't want to. The galaxy was bleak enough as it is, a little hope wouldn't hurt anyone.
She was shaken from her nonstop pondering by a hand on her shoulder. Ahsoka's glassy eyes locked with Jax's.
"We've reached the base. We'll be landing soon." Jax stayed silent for a bit after that, before continuing. "Are you okay?" he asked.
Ahsoka did her best to force a smile. She didn't succeed. "No, but I will be."
"Do you want to talk about it? Perhaps to Lorey? I can ask her," Jax said.
Ahsoka shook her head. "I can't explain what's happening to me right now, but perhaps someday I'll take you up on your offer." And with that she got up.
When they landed at the base, they all got out quickly to get inside the makeshift blast doors. Right now, that was the only place they would be safe.
Saw's people – the ones that got away right before they did – approached him. They had many questions about how they had escaped the Empire. Saw's eyes found Ahsoka's, but she looked away. She just didn't want to talk about it.
Ahsoka felt the forceful presence of darkness in the back of her mind. Another side effect from her encounter with Vader: it reestablished their Force bond. And he was trying extremely hard to get in her head. Obviously to try and pinpoint her location. It took a lot of her concentration to keep him out.
Where Ahsoka had been able to block Anakin from their bond all those years ago, it was a lot harder to block Vader now. He'd obviously grown more powerful over the years. It hurt Ahsoka to think about the fact that it was all because of the Dark Side.
An emergency meeting was called, and everyone assembled around the HoloTable. Chatter came from everywhere. It overwhelmed Ahsoka. There was too much input for her senses to handle, but she stayed where she was at. No time to show weakness now.
"Alright everyone! Calm down. Now is not the time to panic. Yes, we have to be careful but also organized-" Saw started talking. Ahsoka tuned him out. Not to be rude, of course, but she just had to focus on one thing at a time right now. She stared intensely at the HoloTable while fighting hard with her shielding.
She didn't even know for how long she'd been staring, but suddenly her senses picked up another sentence from Saw, which the Force told her was important.
"If this place gets compromised, we'll move to the old hide-out-"
Ahsoka looked up. "No, you can't!" she blurted out without thinking. All eyes turned towards her. Kriff.
"I mean-" Ahsoka took a breath- "the Empire knows about that location. They'll find everyone who goes there. I'm only warning you."
"And how do they know? We've never really told anyone about this other than people who actually went there," someone among the crowd said.
And wasn't that just a good point which Ahsoka couldn't really explain. She couldn't tell them Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker and that he knew of the location because he'd been there before himself.
"When I got here to help you way back when, it wasn't in service of the Republic, that's true. But that doesn't mean they didn't know where we were going. I'm sure the location was in a database somewhere. And since the Republic became the Empire, I can assure you that they know," Ahsoka got out. In her mind it sounded like a reasonable explanation, all things considered. It would have to do.
The others seemed to think it over, before nodding in agreement.
"Ahsoka has a point," Saw said. "The risk would be too great. We have to figure something else out."
And that's how it went on for hours. Strategies had to be laid out, escape plans were put in place. Every detail was being worked out.
=O=
Ahsoka was exhausted by the time the meeting ended. She didn't even say goodbye to anyone before making her way towards her assigned chamber. She needed sleep, desperately.
But as Ahsoka laid in bed, she realized that she couldn't sleep. Her mind wouldn't let her be vulnerable like that. Because, what if he would get into her head when she was asleep? What if she gave all these people away while simply sleeping?
Sighing, Ahsoka sat back upright and leaned against the wall.
That's how Lorey found her about an hour later. She stared at Ahsoka, who looked almost dead. It was a strange sight, that someone could be so physically affected after a hectic day. It's like all the stress and sleepless nights of Ahsoka's entire life had caught up to her. Had opposing Vader today taken so much out of her? It pained Lorey to look at her friend like that. She wondered why Ahsoka was even still awake.
"Ahsoka? What are you still doing up? You look like you could fall over any second now," Lorey asked.
"With the amount of energy I have left, I probably will fall over in a few minutes," Ahsoka said absentmindedly. "Will you catch me when I do?"
Lorey didn't react to Ahsoka's statement, but she did smile at the Togruta girl. "Why aren't you sleeping yet?" she just asked.
"I can't. My mind won't let me. Don't ask. It's too complicated to explain. Force stuff," Ahsoka said with a monotone voice. She really didn't have any energy left.
Lorey contemplated what to say next but decided to just be blunt. "Was it Vader?"
That made Ahsoka's eyes snap up at her, confirming her suspicions. Looking away, Ahsoka continued to stare at the wall.
Despite Lorey now knowing what it was about, she still didn't have enough information for her liking. But then Ahsoka spoke up. "Vader, he… he's the most powerful opponent I have ever faced. It took a lot out of me to distract him back there. I used his own mind against him, but that established a link of our minds. The entire day he's tried to get into my head. And it's very tiresome to keep him out. I'm afraid to go to sleep because he might break through while my mind is at its weakest. I can't let that happen."
To be honest, Lorey didn't understand half of it. But it sounded like it pained Ahsoka a great deal. Lorey sat down next to her. "I know I won't truly be able to understand what all that actually means, but I can be here for you. Would it help your mind stay strong if someone else was there to help you sleep?" she asked.
Ahsoka shrugged. Lorey understood that actually meant 'no' but that the other girl didn't want to say it out loud. Lorey really wanted to help but didn't know what to do. She just decided to be there for her friend. "No matter what happens, Ahsoka, I'll be here for you."
Ahsoka smiled at Lorey and suddenly – finally – fell sideways against her. Ahsoka's eyes fell shut and before long her breathing started to slow down, signaling that the Togruta had fallen asleep. Lorey didn't mind. She'd give up a night's sleep for Ahsoka any day, if it meant the other girl would be fit enough to keep going.
And that's how they stayed the entire night, leaning against each other. Ahsoka had only happy dreams that night. Being snuggled up like this against someone brought back dreams from back at the Temple, with the other younglings, and later with Anakin when they had been shipped out and needed to keep warm.
And due to the happy dreams, her mind was strong enough to resist any attempt to break in. In fact, Ahsoka didn't even notice Vader at some point stopped trying.
Before I forget: Today I went through a major edit process for this story. I changed a lot of the layout for it. Dialogue tags and the likes were updated. I realised that I'd made some mistakes storywise in the earliest chapters that I corrected. Just so you know :)
