Chapter 19

Where last week was a terrible week, this week is a real good one. I got an iPad for portable work instead of a huge ass laptop. My contract at work got extended for another year and I got myself a new car. With a loan, but that'll work itself out. I'm just happy that shit got fixed.

review:

littlesky33by: Thank you! Honestly, that was the first part I ever thought out for this story. I just had to have him say it. There was nothing as important as that. The rest of the conversation would figure itself out, that just had to happen XD


Ahsoka and Lorey were the last to arrive at the rendezvous point, which was logical. They were the last to leave. They landed on the small moon – which Ahsoka had not bothered to learn the name of. It started with an I. She didn't need to know more. She had coordinates – and were immediately surrounded by many people.

When Lorey stepped out she was engulfed in a hug by Thea. "Lorey! You're okay! We were so worried about you. What happened?" the girl asked.

Lorey gave a sideward glance towards Ahsoka, who shook her heads subtly. It was hardly noticeable, but Lorey was looking for it.

"Well, when the Empire ambushed us, I tried to help out as much as I could. I couldn't make it to the shuttle in time. I'm sorry," Lorey said.

"So, what was that about with Vader, then?" Jax asked pointedly. Lorey's eyes widened slightly. But before she could give anything away about the fact that she was keeping a secret, Ahsoka cut in.

"Vader was on Lorey's side of the base. He was looking for me. Former Jedi and all that. I didn't get to Lorey soon enough and had to confront him. I was about to engage him but then you guys flew by and blasted us apart. I think you saved my life, so I thank you," Ahsoka said, but then her tone changed drastically. "But that was the stupidest thing you could've done. What were you thinking?!" she finished, coming off quite angry.

The others exchanged glances. "We could ask you the same thing. You were the one who said engaging Vader was pointless. Like you just said, we saved your life. Don't you dare be mad at us now," Deo said. The others let out sounds of agreement.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes in a playful manner, but her entire posture was tense. Dara picked up on it easily.

"Are you okay? You seem very tense?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's just some adrenaline that's left. Escaping an army of stormtroopers – not to forget Vader – will do that to you. C'mon, I have to meet with Saw. And I believe we should leave for Alderaan again soon. We haven't reported in with command ever since we arrived on Onderon," Ahsoka said.

The others couldn't help but agree. Ahsoka made a point. But Dara was convinced there was more to Ahsoka's mood. And Lorey seemed to know about it. But Dara was far from the only one who had suspicions about Ahsoka's honesty ever since they'd arrived on Onderon. It just seemed like she was keeping important things from them all of a sudden. And none of the team could understand why. Ahsoka had been honest about everything ever since she joined them. What reason could she have to stop that streak now?

Were her loyalties shifting?

Ahsoka would be lying if she said she hadn't read her friends' thoughts and emotions regarding her. They were all having doubts about her intentions. She couldn't fault them for it, but it hurt. She really wanted to talk to someone about what had happened.

Of course, she had Lorey, but the girl in question didn't know everything about her bond with Anakin and the way this entire situation affected her. Ahsoka needed someone who actually knew them both. And she was already formulating a plan in her mind to reach that certain someone.

But first things first. Saw. Ahsoka caught him talking to some of his other commanders near one of the starships. She made her way over, with her friends right on her heels.

"Saw. How's it going? Did a count yet?" Ahsoka asked, completely taking over the conversation. Ahsoka was quite used to command, after all. The sound of her voice made Saw look up.

"Ahsoka, you made it. When your team arrived without you, I had to say I was worried," Saw started. "Yeah. We did a count. We lost several men and women. We'll hold services for them when we return to Onderon."

Ahsoka smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She couldn't fake it, to her own chagrin. "Yes, it was with some difficulty, but I got myself and my friend out. I'm glad you did too. I'm sorry for the people you lost," she said as she inclined her head in respect.

"Thank you," Saw replied. Then he continued on to the business. "So, we've been talking about our plans going forward. I don't like to admit that I was wrong, but maybe we do need to take things more slowly from now on. At least for a little while. These few days have showed us that we're not strong enough to take on the full might of the Empire – and I'm fully aware of the fact that what we faced wasn't even half of their full might. Someday we will be ready, but that time is not right now. I do believe we should focus some more on the people; gain their trust back. For the time being, at least."

Ahsoka did manage a genuine smile at that. At least there was some good news coming out of this. "That's good to hear, Saw. I'm sorry it took this entire situation to escalade for you to realize, but still. I hope you can keep it up," she said.

"What will you be doing now?" Saw then asked.

Ahsoka looked back at her team. "I think we'll leave. Let you regroup on your own terms. I don't think you need us anymore. I will give you my comm frequency, though. That way we can stay connected. The more people against the Empire get together, the bigger of a chance we have of defeating them one day," Ahsoka said as she quickly typed it out and handed it to him.

"That's quite alright. We thank you for your help. I don't think we would've made it without a Jedi with us," Saw said. Then he took the frequency number. "Just like your master's Fulcrum frequency we used back in the Clone Wars," he said.

A pained expression displayed on Ahsoka's face for a second, but as soon as it appeared it was gone. Saw noticed it and felt sorry for the former Jedi. It was obvious the loss of her master had affected her.

Of course, Saw didn't know the half of the grief and problems Ahsoka's former master brought her right now. She nodded anyways in regard to the reference, because despite her feelings about Anakin, he was right. It was just like that. He'd inspired her in many ways, of course. "Thank you for your hospitality these past few days. Until we meet again," she ended up saying.

Saw nodded and they took each other's arm and shook it. When she released him, Ahsoka turned around and headed back over to her friends. They'd all heard the conversation and were ready to leave. Everyone got into the shuttle and they took off. Ahsoka was glad to leave this chapter behind her. Yes, she was friends with the Onderon rebels, but the last few days had been hell for her. Now all she had to do was think about what had happened, how to proceed and talk to someone about it.

=O=

Their flight back was spent in complete silence, which didn't happen often. Everyone was exhausted. Most of them had slept for the duration of the trip. So, when they exited hyperspace and were greeted with the familiar sight of Alderaan, they all let out a sigh of relief. They were home.

They contacted the palace for clearance to land in the private hanger, which they were granted with the message that command was asking for a meeting which Lorey and Ahsoka had to attend. Both girls confirmed they would be there.

=O=

As soon as they landed, they got all their stuff and separated. Lorey and Ahsoka made their way to the meeting room and were greeted by all of command, who were already present. They both took a seat. One of the commanders began the meeting immediately.

"I have to say, captains, when we got the report that Onderon had been invaded by new Imperial forces we feared the worst. Especially considering that we didn't hear anything from you. We were so glad to hear you were returning to us. Please give us your report," he said.

Lorey got up. They'd agreed she would do the report so that Ahsoka could collect herself. Since Lorey now knew what was bothering her so much, she could help her with these sorts of things.

"Well commander, we arrived a little less than a week ago. We were greeted by the rebels. We didn't get along all that well at first, but Ahsoka helped quite a bit with that. Gerrera and her seemed to get along and get to an agreement regarding our mission there: civilian casualties.

"They told us they were planning an attack on a new Imperial factory that had recently been placed there. Their plan was to just blow it up, no matter the people inside. We compromised on the plan and they would blow it up with a warning, so the people could get out. But they went back on their word. The factory was blow up and collapsed, with no warning and everyone still inside. This caught the attention of the Empire and hours later a Star Destroyer entered the system. From that moment on we were being hunted. The new troops were led by Darth Vader. Ahsoka faced off against him twice, neither leading into a real physical confrontation-"

Lorey continued her report, but Ahsoka's attention got caught on something else. Form across the table, Bail had turned to look at her, eyes full of concern. Ahsoka stared back with a solemn expression before averting her gaze back to Lorey. She would talk to Bail about this later. Ahsoka tuned back in with Lorey's report.

"-we got ready for evacuation but were ambushed. We barely got away. Onderon's guerilla fighters have since regrouped at a moon in a nearby system. That's where we left them, with their promise to mind civilian lives. Our mission had a lot of trouble, but in the end the objective was achieved." And with that Lorey concluded her report.

=O=

Reactions were given, praises and criticism were received, datapads were filled in and filed away. All in all, it took a while for the meeting to end. Ahsoka waited in the room until everyone had left. Everyone except Bail. They stared at each other for a second, neither really knowing where to start. In the end he spoke up first.

"So, you met Vader, twice. I don't want to push you, but-" Bail couldn't finish his sentence. Ahsoka cut him off by holding up her hand.

"Don't worry, I understand," Ahsoka said. She sighed before continuing. "You just heard Lorey's report. He led the assault on the planet. But there were still rebels in the city. We went to get them out before the Empire could arrest or even execute them, but we weren't fast enough. I figured I was the only one who would stand a chance against him. I confronted him – in disguise I have to add – and pretended to give myself up. Then, before he got too close, I used the Force to push memories into his head. It worked, somehow. He didn't attack me, and he let us get away. I don't know why. Maybe it was shock, or maybe recognition, who knows.

"Next time I faced him was during the evacuation. They ambushed us, and Vader was at Lorey's side of the base. He choked her with to Force to get my location. I demanded he let her go. We talked, or something. He remembered me – the connection we had. But that's all the implication I got before he was ready to kill me. We got away. That's all that matters," Ahsoka finished. She was on the verge of tears by the end. But she couldn't cry. She wouldn't let herself. Not here and not now.

Ahsoka purposefully hadn't told Bail about the fact that Vader had offered her a place at his side, or that she had hope that Anakin could be turned back. She wanted to speak to someone else first who might know how to move forward about that, before revealing such a compromising piece of information.

Bail had nodded along with her story as a sign that he was listening and understood. "I wish you didn't have to go through that. I don't know what else to say to you right now. I understand this must be hard on you. If you need some time to figure this out on your own, I will completely understand and grand it to you right now," he said.

"I would very much like to visit Obi-Wan if that's okay. He has a right to know what happened. And I would indeed like some time away from it all. His hiding place doesn't have much of an Imperial presence, as you must be aware of. I think it would do me good," Ahsoka replied.

"Of course. You're more than welcome to take one of the smaller shuttles and go meet him. Give him my greetings when you get there. I'll inform your team of your leave. I bid you good luck," Bail said as he got up.

Ahsoka mimicked the movement and together they walked out of the room. "Thank you Bail, for understanding," Ahsoka then said. She tried to smile at him, but it was extremely hard to even smile at all.

"Of course, Ahsoka. Anytime. Take care." Bail did manage to smile, to Ahsoka's jealousy. Though that wasn't fair; he was not going through the things she was going through.

They parted ways after that. Ahsoka back to the hanger and Bail to his personal quarters.

Ahsoka took the first small shuttle available and started the take-off sequence. Before long she was in the air, on her way to Tatooine. Time to meet Obi-Wan in real life for the first time in almost a year. On her way there she finally let her guard down and her resolve crumbled. From that point on she just kept on crying and crying. Everything she'd been bottling up from the last 6 years flowed out. She didn't stop up until the point that she reached the barren desert planet.

=O=

It was the middle of the night and Obi-Wan was sleeping on his bed when a warning from the Force woke him up. Someone was outside. Someone with a familiar Force presence. Obi-Wan could make out who it was, but he didn't want to take any chances. He picked up his lightsaber and opened the door.

There she stood. With puffy eyes and a pleading look, Ahsoka Tano suddenly looked a lot younger than she really was. She looked more like the 16-year-old Padawan that had just been accused of betraying the Order, than the 23-year-old rebel fighter she currently was.

And she'd been crying. That was not a good sign. Something must've happened to her to make her this upset. Ahsoka had almost never cried in the entire time Obi-Wan has known her. He assessed her real quick before making way for her to come inside.

Without saying anything she started walking in before basically falling down in a chair. Ahsoka started sobbing while she tried to say something. "I… he… kill me… horrible…" was all Obi-Wan really picked up. He couldn't understand a thing she was saying.

Obi-Wan moved next to Ahsoka and put a hand on her shoulder. "Ahsoka, I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths. It's okay. Whatever happened, it's not here now. You're safe with me. C'mon, let's get you to bed. You seem too tired to be talking about anything. Tomorrow we will talk. You can tell me everything that is bothering you," he said as he guided her over to his bed. He wasn't particularly good with these kinds of emotions. Jedi didn't really do that. Silently he hoped that she would be calmer tomorrow.

Ahsoka nodded but continued to sob as she laid down. Obi-Wan guessed she wouldn't stop that until she really fell asleep. He stayed next to her, sending a sense of comfort to her through the Force. He hoped that would work in calming her down a little. At least to help her fall asleep.

Obi-Wan was very curious about what had upset the girl so much, but he had to wait to find out. He wouldn't probe her mind for the information. Ahsoka had come to him for a reason and he would give her the time she needs to calm down and be ready to talk about it.

Patience was something Obi-Wan had certainly mastered in his time here on Tatooine. He could wait a few more hours for Ahsoka's story.

And that's how Obi-Wan slowly fell asleep as well, in a chair next to Ahsoka's sleeping form in his bed. Waiting for the morning to come.


Just a small thing: from this week forward, I'll be working on Wednesdays again, which means updates might be a little bit later. The last few weeks before summer vacation will be quite hectic at my primary school with all the Corona shit.