Chapter 20
reviews:
littlesky33by: Thank you! And we'll just have to see what'll happen between Ahsoka and her team with all the doubts now, don't we *smiles mischievously*
Guest: I'm glad! That's a huge compliment for me :)
MalirBly: Thank you so much! And poor Ahsoka indeed. We can only hope things will get better for her, but no promises.
The next morning Obi-Wan was the first to wake up. Ahsoka was still laying in the bed, sleeping quite deeply if her breathing was anything to go by.
Obi-Wan decided to get up and get started with his day. Not that he did anything of importance, but still. He tried to keep somewhat of a routine. He was sure he would be going mad without it. These years on Tatooine certainly made him understand why Anakin had hated the planet so much.
Obi-Wan went to his kitchen and made himself – and Ahsoka, for when she would wake up – some tea. He waited for the heating process to finish while thinking about the girl in question. Ahsoka had looked tired beyond believe and had been highly emotional. It seemed the last few… days, weeks, months? Obi-Wan didn't even know. Anyways. It seemed that time hadn't been kind to her.
When Obi-Wan rounded the corner with his freshly made tea, he saw Ahsoka sitting upright in the bed. She was staring at him.
"You want some tea?" he asked her. Ahsoka nodded.
Obi-Wan walked back into the kitchen to get the second cup of tea. He handed it to Ahsoka who took it gratefully. They drank in silence. The last time she was here, Ahsoka was the one who had to wait on Obi-Wan to tell her something. This time it was exactly the other way around. But he would wait just as patiently.
When Ahsoka was finished with her tea she turned back to Obi-Wan. "I'm ready to talk, but can we go outside? I would like some fresh air if I'm going to tell you everything," she said.
Obi-Wan agreed and lead her outside. They started walking for a bit. Ahsoka kept staring at her feet before finally speaking up.
"Back on Mandalore, Maul told me he'd had a vision that Anakin would become Sidious's apprentice. He told me exactly what would happen, and I didn't believe him. When you told me what Anakin had become, I had difficulty accepting it, but this time I did believe it to be true. Yet deep down some part of me always had the misguided hope that the both of you had just been dreaming and that it wasn't real. But then I met Vader and I can confidently say that I believe everything ever said about his fate to be true. And it hurts Obi-Wan," Ahsoka said, tears again forming in her eyes. Why was she so emotional? As a Jedi she'd been taught to let her emotions go into the Force, but it wasn't working at all. She just kept on being overwhelmed by all these emotions. Sadness, mostly.
Obi-Wan stopped walking and stared at her. A minute worth of silence swept over them in which they both just stared. So many thoughts went through his head. Ahsoka looked at him pleadingly, begging with her teary eyes for him to say something. He finally did.
"You encountered him? When? Where?" he asked.
"A few days ago. I had a mission on Onderon. Saw Gerrera's rebels were causing trouble. Our rebel command wasn't having it. I volunteered my team to take on the mission. I know Saw, after all. His team turned out to have planned an attack on a factory. They blew it up with civilian workers inside. I still despise him for it, but whatever. That isn't the point right now-" Ahsoka basically rambled it all out.
"The Empire called in reinforcement coming off planet. I guess they were just done being bothered by this cell. It turned out they'd called in Vader. I wasn't prepared, Obi-Wan. It all happened so fast. We went to the city to evacuate remaining rebels and before I knew it, his forces had arrived."
Obi-Wan made no move to interrupt but did nod his head as a sign he was listening.
"I realized I was the only one who stood a chance against him, so I'd come up with a plan. I'd covered myself in a robe so nobody would recognize me. I got their attention by surrendering. Vader was ready to strike me down before I pushed our shared memories into his mind. He stopped, which was what I'd hoped for. We got away."
Obi-Wan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Ahsoka had faced Vader and gotten away with it. She truly had grown in her Force capabilities to come up with such a plan and make it work. Vader was extraordinarily strong in the Force – which was commonly known among them – so for Ahsoka to go up against him like that was impressive.
"That's quite something Ahsoka. I'm sorry. I'd hoped for you to never encounter him. We are all better off without Vader in our lives. I'm glad you got away when you did," he said.
"That isn't all, Obi-Wan. You see, I met him again. Same planet, just a few days later. We were hiding out at the rebel base, trying to figure out what to do next. We decided to evacuate for the time being. Turned out we weren't fast enough. We were ambushed. Vader was with them, again. He'd taken one of my teammates to try and find out where I was. I- I talked to him, Obi-Wan. I spoke with Vader," Ahsoka said, looking down.
Obi-Wan could just see in her entire demeanor that there was more to it than just a casual battlefield talk. He had a bad feeling about this.
"What do you mean Ahsoka?" he asked. Ahsoka didn't look back up when she spoke again.
"He remembered the nickname he gave me after our first meeting on Christophsis. He called me 'Snips' albeit with way too much venom for my liking," Ahsoka said. She took a slight pause, but Obi-Wan felt there was more coming. He stayed silent. "And then he offered me the chance to join him."
That certainly took Obi-Wan by surprise. Vader asking Ahsoka to join him? That wasn't good. "Ahsoka…" he started saying, but the Togruta cut him off.
"I know. I know what you're about to say. I did turn him down, okay, but what if he didn't just do it for my power? What if he did it because he still cares?" Ahsoka asked. And there it was. Ahsoka had been thinking about this since leaving Vader behind on Onderon. Obi-Wan was the first person she'd dared to even voice these thoughts to. He would be the only one that might understand.
Obi-Wan's heart ached at the sliver op hope that came with Ahsoka's particular statement. Ahsoka looked up at him so hopefully. She obviously wanted him to agree. "What are you trying to say here?" he asked carefully, a little afraid of the answer.
"What if Anakin is still in there somewhere. What if he just wants me by his side again, just like when I left the Order, or when we met up again right before Mandalore. It could be possible. It would certainly explain why he didn't just cut me down when I revealed myself to him," Ahsoka rambled.
Obi-Wan always thought the ability to hope in the darkest of times wasn't a bad trait to have, but in this case, he had to make an exception. "Ahsoka… you know that's impossible. He Fell and you know it. You saw it. If Anakin was still in there somewhere, he never would've done the things he's done in the past few years. You know this to be true," he said.
"But what if it was me that brought Anakin out from behind the monster? What if I could help him back to the Light? It could be possible, there's just nobody that has tried before," Ahsoka said determined. Obi-Wan could notice that she'd really thought about this. This wasn't some idea she just came up with right this second.
He shook his head. "You know how I fought him on Mustafar, right? I couldn't turn him back. Padmé couldn't even turn him back. She was his wife, Ahsoka. What makes you think you have a better chance than the both of us?" Obi-Wan asked. He didn't mean to sound harsh, but Ahsoka flinched back at the hard words anyways.
"I just- he was new to the Dark Side. It might just have been too early. He may have just been too overwhelmed by its power. Maybe now I will have a better chance," Ahsoka said. It was said with much doubt and Obi-Wan knew he'd hurt Ahsoka's confidence and hope with his previous statement. But he had to be clear; under no circumstances would Ahsoka be able to succeed in turning Anakin back to the light. And under no circumstances should she try.
"I think that's not at all how it works, Ahsoka. The longer someone is corrupted by the Dark Side, the harder it would be to turn them to the Light, if it's even possible at all. I'm sorry, I really am. I want to believe in your theory, but I don't think I can," Obi-Wan said.
"What harm could it do for me to find out? I could try and if I'm right, the Empire will have lost one of their biggest assets and the rebellion will have gained a major one. Please, Obi-Wan. What could go wrong with me trying?" Ahsoka pleaded.
"Everything!" Obi-Wan snapped. He wasn't prone to losing his patience, so again Ahsoka flinched back. She must've really hit a nerve within him. "We could lose you Ahsoka. I could lose you too, just like I lost Anakin. And I can't go through the process of losing someone to the Dark Side again. You're one of the biggest assets the rebellion has. If you were to Fall…" He couldn't even finish his own sentence. He didn't dare think about it.
"You think I could turn to the Dark Side?" Ahsoka asked, obviously hurt. "I've never given you any indication that I'm tempted by the dark. I'm stronger than that," she stated firmly.
"Are you?" Obi-Wan asked. "If I remember correctly you contacted me some time ago with a problem with 'darkness'. Or did I just dream that entire conversation?" he said cynically.
Ahsoka turned away. "You know what, Obi-Wan? I don't know why I came here. This was obviously a stupid idea! I thought you of all people would understand and share the hope I have for Anakin. You were his closest friend! But I guess I was wrong. You're just too stuck up on your old Jedi beliefs. Sorry for wasting your time Master," Ahsoka snarled before stalking off, leaving Obi-Wan on his own at the edge of the Dune Sea. He just watched her go, having no idea if he'd see her again soon. Not long after that, he turned to go back to his own house.
=O=
Ahsoka stalked through the desert, fuming. How dare he just attempt to crush her hopes like that?! Wasn't that just exactly what they should have right now? A little hope? He'd said so himself in his beacon to all Jedi that one day hope would come! He was being a hypocrite. And to say she could be turned to the Dark Side?! Obi-Wan was really just out to get her today, wasn't he?
It felt like Ahsoka had been walking for hours before crashing down in the sand. She was crying again. She could just punch herself for it. Never in her life had Ahsoka cried this much. Jedi were supposed to be in control of their emotions. Then again, Ahsoka had strayed quite far from the original Jedi way. Maybe she was just never meant to be an actual Jedi, just like Anakin. They were just too different from the Order's 'standard'.
Ahsoka sat there, crying and thinking until her tears ran out. She'd reached a decision. She would fight for Anakin. Everyone else's opinions be damned. She would just have to do it alone. That was fine. She'd been on her own for over 5 years. She was perfectly capable.
Ahsoka got up and started walking again.
=O=
The decision to go back to Alderaan or Obi-Wan had been a hard one, but in the end, she decided that she didn't want to leave like this. He was the only thing she had left of the Jedi she once associated with. And he was the only one she knew that still had an understanding of the Force. She shouldn't give that up so easily.
If this was to be the last time Ahsoka would see Obi-Wan, then she did not want to leave without making things right between them.
And so Ahsoka walked back to his home – which took way too long. She just had to walk all that way into the desert, didn't she?
But finally, she'd made it back. She could see Obi-Wan sitting outside. He looked to be deep in meditation. Ahsoka approached cautiously. She didn't want to pull him out of his concentration. But suddenly he opened his eyes.
"Ahsoka. You're back," was all he said, carefully monotone, hiding any emotions he might feel about her after the fight. Ahsoka had no idea what to make of it.
"Yes, I couldn't leave like this. It wasn't fair of me, putting my hopes on you like that. You obviously have a whole different experience regarding Anakin than I do. I should've thought of that. I just-" Ahsoka didn't get to finish her sentence. Obi-Wan cut her off.
"Don't, Ahsoka. I should be the one apologizing to you. I was too hard on you when all you did was have hope. I should've let you have that small sliver of hope. It's a good thing to have. It helps us focus and fight. But I must ask you not to give in to the urge to actually go try to save him. I meant it when I said I can't to lose you. And not just me. The rebellion you're fighting for needs you as well. Think about it," Obi-Wan said. He gave Ahsoka a small smile.
Ahsoka didn't say anything back but did smile at him.
Her smile was enough for Obi-Wan.
Ahsoka was ready to forget about her fight with Obi-Wan all together and decided to change the subject. "I don't have to leave just yet. They gave me a few days for myself," she said. "You want to spar with me? You seem like you haven't trained in years and I could use a Jedi's teachings right now."
That did make Obi-Wan's smile even brighter. "Of course, Ahsoka. But I won't go easy on you," he said.
Ahsoka smirked. "As if you could actually beat me. I'm the only one who's seen any fighting action in recent years. Lightsaber or not." She was bluffing, of course. Obi-Wan wasn't a Jedi Master for nothing.
"We'll see, Ahsoka. We'll see," Obi-Wan said as he activated his lightsaber, which in turn had her igniting her own dual sabers. Ahsoka charged at him first, and so their sparring session began.
=O=
Ahsoka spent two days in Obi-Wan's company. They agreed to completely forget about the past, present, and future and just focus on the Force. They trained a lot together. He taught her new things about the Force. Things she would've only learned if she'd ever reached the rank of Knight or even Master within the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan thought she should know these things, since there were no Knights or Masters left to pass the knowledge to.
For Ahsoka it truly were two special days.
But now it was time to leave. Ahsoka had things to prepare for, plans to work out, a special Star Destroyer to track and a Sith Lord to find. All while not saying anything to anyone.
She said her goodbye to Obi-Wan. It was bittersweet for Ahsoka. She didn't know when she would be able to see or speak with him again. If she would ever again be able to at all.
Ahsoka got in her ship and took off. Back to Alderaan to prepare for a new mission. a mission of which she didn't have the details yet. But she would figure them out soon enough.
=O=
Ahsoka arrived at Alderaan after a little while and got permission to land in the hanger. She left the shuttle there for other crew to take care of. It wasn't her concern anymore.
Ahsoka checked in with Bail and Lorey, who were both glad to have her back after her short break, but Ahsoka knew it wouldn't last long. Her plan was to leave again soon. She didn't linger with the two of them long before moving to search for a certain droid she was currently in need of service of.
=O=
R2-D2 was rolling around a hall on his way to the hanger when he got stopped by a certain Togruta.
"Artoo, there you are!" Ahsoka said. "I was looking for you. I need your help. Want to help me out?" she asked.
Artoo beeped excitedly. He rarely got to work with Ahsoka, so he was always happy to help one of his oldest friends.
Finding out Artoo was on Alderaan had been a shock to Ahsoka, but a welcome revelation. Catching Threepio and Artoo in the private quarters of the royal family one day had not been what Ahsoka was expecting when she'd joined the Alderaan rebels. Learning Threepio's memory had been wiped was a bummer – though probably for the best. He could never keep his mouth shut – but Artoo seemed perfectly fine.
Ahsoka's binary was adequate enough so she could have a conversation with the little astromech. She made sure to catch up with him for at least a minute after every mission. She'd also asked him if he was aware of what had happened to Anakin. Artoo confirmed he knew of the horrible things Anakin did the last day he saw him, but he did not want to talk about it. It was too painful for the little astromech. Ahsoka accepted that. She could understand.
But now Ahsoka needed Artoo for a very special mission. She led him to her chambers and explained what he had to do.
"Alright Artoo, I need you to do something for me, but it's a secret okay? Not even the Organa's can know, alright?"
Artoo gave a few confirming beeps so Ahsoka continued. "I need to send two Holo messages. And I want to record them on you. Two days after I'll leave, I need you to send and show them to the people I tell you. Can you do that?" she asked.
Again, the confirming beeps. Ahsoka smiled.
"Good, then let's record some messages, shall we?" she asked.
Artoo started his recorder and Ahsoka spoke up.
"Hello Obi-Wan…" she started before continuing with the rest of the information she shared in the Holo, that would all soon be revealed.
