Chapter 27
Late again. Won't give you an excuse. Don't really have one other than that work has started and I royally fucked up my planning. So, my fault. I'll try to do better.
reviews:
littlesky33by: Thank you once again! I'm so glad you think they're done well. For some reason they take an awful lot of time to figure out how to get right, so to hear they're received well is a relief. And yes, Ahsoka sure needs to be careful. She has a lot of frustration...
MalirBly: Thank you! much love!
That evening Ahsoka decided it was time to go on her planned excursion through the castle. Vaneé had just left after he'd brought her dinner. She knew from experience the last few days that he wouldn't check on her again until morning. They fully trusted that Ahsoka had enough fear and self-preservation to stay in her room.
Wrong thought.
To be sure that she was being left alone, Ahsoka stayed in her room for an hour more before slowly opening the door. She stared into the hallway, only to find it completely empty. She reached out into the Force and there she also found nothing. This part of the castle was completely empty.
That reminded Ahsoka, she was now almost certain that the continued removal of the Force-inhibiting collar was deliberate. She did not believe that Vader hadn't felt her in the Force ever since she'd left him this afternoon.
Unless he was not currently here, of course. But no, Ahsoka was sure Vader hadn't left. She could feel his presence in the Force. He was somewhere here in the castle.
So, case in point, Vader had to know she was free of the binders. He should be able to feel her in the Force just as she is able to feel him. But why? Did he want to test her? Ahsoka didn't know the answer, but if she would try to figure it out now, she would never get going. So, she decided to take the risk.
Ahsoka stepped out into the empty hallway. She knew to stay clear of the lower hanger bay and the larger turbolifts. She'd seen that those were for the stormtroopers and other personnel that roamed the castle. It had become clear to her that the parts she was staying in were off limits for regular personnel. The only movement she'd been aware of here had been Vaneé and what she'd assumed were droids.
Turning left, Ahsoka started walking. Vaneé had taken her left, so that was the only route she really knew from what she'd remembered. If she made her way there first and continued on from there… that sounded like a good idea. She reached the turbolift at the end of the hall and stepped inside. She used it to get to the next level.
=O=
That went on for about two levels, and then it got boring. Ahsoka constantly used the Force to feel if something was amiss, but other than that there was nothing exciting, for lack of a better word.
Ahsoka strode back towards the turbolift and made a decision. She rode all the way up – as far as this lift allowed, then – and got out at the top level. When she stepped out it appeared to be an open space. She stepped further onto the big place.
Looking up, Ahsoka noticed she was nowhere near the top of the building, but she felt like this was quite an important place at the castle, nonetheless. This place had a strong sense of darkness here. It threatened to engulf her completely. It felt suffocating, really. With every step she took, she felt her body being dragged down.
It must be why Vader had chosen this place as a base, Ahsoka realized. This place had a special kind of strong connection to the Dark Side of the Force. She let out a shiver. She needed to get out of here. It was becoming too much. She quickly started walking back to where she came from.
Ahsoka let out a breath once she reached the turbolift. She had no idea that the darkness could have such an effect on a person. She stepped in and quickly closed the door to get to a different level. The level where she'd just come from had a beautiful view, Ahsoka had to admit. She was sure Vader had a certain use for it. Ahsoka just didn't know if she wanted to find out.
Uncertain where to go next, Ahsoka hovered in the lift. Feeling lightly for the Force, she found that it was pulling her somewhere. Ahsoka decided to follow. She'd already gone down the path of exploring. If the Force told her to go somewhere, she might as well see it through.
Reaching another level, Ahsoka stepped out again. She started walking down the hallway looking for the place or thing the Force was pulling her towards when she suddenly felt a strong presence. She immediately turned to stare at the door it came from.
Vader's presence. It lingered there. This must be his quarters. It sure felt like it. Ahsoka reached out with the Force but couldn't pinpoint his location. It didn't feel like he was in there. And she couldn't help but be curious.
So of course, with no sense of self-preservation—as previously mentioned—Ahsoka entered.
It was quite a big space in which she'd entered, but Ahsoka was in awe of what she saw. It appeared that it was all about keeping himself alive. In the middle was a bacta tank with around it several droids that were currently shut off, which Ahsoka only noticed after she'd gotten startled by them, thinking they were looking at her. She released a breath she didn't know she was holding. For a moment there she thought she'd been caught and that the droids would report to their master.
And Ahsoka did not want to be found roaming around his quarters when Vader would finally catch her exploring his castle when she'd been ordered to stay in her room unless told otherwise.
Ahsoka continued to look on. Scattered on several tables were mechanical parts. When she looked closer, she noticed it must be for his prosthetics. Either he or the droids worked on them, apparently.
There were also droid parts on a separate workbench. Ahsoka couldn't help but think it ironic. For all that Vader would claim that Anakin was gone, he still held the same 'hobby' so to say. It wouldn't surprise her if at least part of these droids were self-made.
Ahsoka walked in further when her eyes fell on something. In the back was a… dome? Sphere? It was completely black.
Now, Ahsoka knew a lot about everything mechanical, but this thing was a complete mystery. What purpose did it have here?
Ahsoka approached it carefully. It left a strange impression in the Force. Too many feelings were surrounding it—no, wait. Not surrounding it. They were inside.
There was something inside.
But Ahsoka couldn't actually feel inside. It was blocked. But her curiosity had already been peaked. She'd made it this far. She would see what was inside it. Quickly scanning the exterior, Ahsoka found no way to open the damn thing. It was sealed. Or, in other words, only accessible with the Force.
Reaching out her hand, she lifted part of the dome. And only a second later she wished she hadn't.
Oh kriff.
Inside the dome was Vader, in a meditative position. And with that Ahsoka knew she'd royally kriffed up. But that feeling only got worse once her gaze met his.
Really met his eyes and not lenses in a mask. What the hell. Kriffing kriff...!
He was not wearing his helmet. Ahsoka stared right at Anakin Skywalker's face. But not really. Because this man was scarred beyond belief. And his eyes—those Sith golden eyes—stared right at her. They bore into her very soul.
It was horrifying to really see this for Ahsoka. It was one thing to sort of accept what Anakin had become without really seeing it because of the suit. It was another thing entirely to see his eyes, his scars. To really see Anakin Skywalker as a Sith. It actually physically hurt.
And now Ahsoka knew she was dead. She would not survive this. He would kill her for this.
Finally, Ahsoka regained the ability to act. she gasped as she took several steps backwards, never breaking eye contact with her former master. Until the point that his helmet attached itself back on, and Anakin disappeared. He was once again Darth Vader.
She had to run. She had to get away. She could still get out. If she left now, she could outrun him. The stormtroopers would be no problem—
But before Ahsoka could even move, she was frozen to her spot. She stared at Vader with his outstretched hand, and fear overtook her. Slamming her shields down tied she mentally apologized to Obi-Wan for being reckless and wrong. And to Leia for not coming back to help train her. And to Luke, for never having really met him at all.
Ahsoka tried to put on a brave face as Vader stepped up to her and into her personal space. The fact that he hadn't snapped her neck yet was a complete miracle.
"What are you doing here?!" Vader demanded with his booming voice. Ahsoka could now completely understand why everyone was terribly frightened of him. The Force screamed DANGER all around her. All Ahsoka could think about was why it hadn't warned her before she'd opened his meditation chamber—which she'd realized it was after she'd just caught him meditating in it—or even his quarters in general!
Ahsoka gulped before taking a deep breath and answering. "I- I-" oh man. She didn't even have an answer. "I'm sorry, my Lord, I didn't mean to come here. Somehow the Force called me here," she stammered. She was not proud of herself for that. Well, at least she'd called him by his title and not 'Anakin'. That would've gone over well.
"The Force called you here?" Vader asked disbelievingly. He doubted her reasons. Of course he wouldn't believe her. Ahsoka should know better.
"Please, I didn't mean to intrude. I had no idea this was yours." Lie. Obvious lie. "B-but to ease it a little, there's nothing I can tell anyone that I don't already know. I know who hides behind that mask. What I didn't know about were the scars," Ahsoka stated boldly. She would die anyway. Might as well just give it a try to get through his shields. She continued on a softer tone: "What happened, Vader?"
She stared at him with soft, pleading eyes. Ahsoka tried to appeal to Anakin because that was all she had left. And after a painfully silent moment, she was suddenly released.
Ahsoka gasped as she hunched over, feeling like she could finally breathe again. Because she'd been suffocating on fear, not because she'd been Force chocked. He hadn't tried to kill her. Not really.
Rising back up again, Ahsoka stared hard at Vader. "What happened to you?" she asked again, more clearly this time.
"I joined with the Emperor," was the deadpanned answer. Oh, there was so obviously still some Anakin left inside that monster, Ahsoka thought.
"Yes," Ahsoka said, "I know that. That is not what I meant. I want to know why. One moment you told me that with any luck the war would be over soon and the next it was, but with a completely different side taking over. And apparently it cost you your body and soul. As someone loyal to Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker's friend I believe I deserve to know why. What made you switch sides?" Ahsoka finished carefully, hoping she wasn't crossing a line. But she probably was.
"Careful Ahsoka, before you sound treasonous," Vader warned. But Ahsoka wouldn't take the bait.
"How is this treasonous? I'm not saying that the Dark Side is wrong. I just want to know what pushed you towards it. I wasn't there to see it. I wasn't there to follow you, like I always planned to do," Ahsoka said, putting every fiber of herself behind that statement. She had to make him believe.
It stayed silent again. Ahsoka almost deflated. It wasn't working. But then…
"I saw through the lies of the Jedi, just as you did. And I realized the Emperor had much more to offer. It really is as simple as that," Vader stated, his voice somehow sounding even colder. How was that even possible when every sentence he said was monotone due to the vocoder?
Now came the hard part. Ahsoka had to pretend not to know the answer to the following question she would ask. "Then how did you end up like this? Did you burn yourself or something? Did the Dark Side do this to your body? And the fact that you lost your other remaining limbs, apparently. Who did this to you? And that suit is a life support, isn't it? You can't function without," she asked.
And suddenly white-hot rage pushed past Ahsoka's senses. That wasn't good.
"Kenobi happened. He turned her against me and then tried to kill me. Cut me down and left me to burn on one of these cursed rivers!" Vader growled out. It was almost shouting.
That, compared with the rage she felt from him, made for a whole different story than the way Obi-Wan told it. It must've been awful for Vader. Ahsoka couldn't image. And… her… it must be Padmé. He thought she'd betrayed him.
Ahsoka was rendered speechless. Even though she already knew the story, it still had such an effect on her. She looked down. "I know it's not a very 'Dark Side' thing to do, but I want to say that I'm sorry for what you've been through. I heard that Padmé died and-"
Ahsoka never got to finish her sentence. Vader was once again in her face. "Don't say her name!" he snarled at her.
Nodding slowly, Ahsoka began anew. "I heard what had happened. I'm sorry for your loss. I know what she meant to you," she said slowly, carefully.
And apparently, she'd hit a nerve. So many feelings were flooding Ahsoka. Vader had lost complete control of his shielding. She felt everything he felt. And it was way too overwhelming. He grieved so much. Ahsoka really felt bad for him. This only convinced her more of the fact that she just had to save him.
"You need to leave," Vader suddenly commanded in a low and menacing tone. Ahsoka knew he was dead serious and that this was her last chance. Therefor she scrambled to comply. She did not run—really, she didn't. Running wasn't graceful in this situation—but she was out of that room awfully fast, though. she basically raced back towards her assigned quarters. Once there, she let herself think again.
Vader hadn't killed her. Once again, she'd crossed the line, and he'd spared her. That had to mean something. Anakin had to be in there somewhere! For him to confess everything he'd just did. She was on the right track and she would continue this way until she succeeded or died.
Ahsoka fell down on her bed, completely exhausted from all her emotions. Maybe tomorrow she could think more clearly on this. For now, she needed sleep. Lots of it.
=O=
Darth Vader was furious, and dare he admit, confused. He had confessed things to Ahsoka, things that he'd sworn to never talk about again. Things that he should kill her for, now that she knows.
But he hadn't.
She'd disobeyed direct orders. She should've known better than to come here. But Vader hadn't done anything to Ahsoka other than keep her frozen in place for a small amount of time. And confess to things that had happened to-to Anakin Skywalker. And he didn't know why?
There was something about Ahsoka that just pulled him out of this endless darkness that he'd sunken so deep into. He had wrapped himself so tight in the Dark Side since becoming Darth Vader that he didn't think it possible to feel these feelings that he did now.
And then he'd brought her into the conversation. And Vader should have really totally ended Ahsoka for that. He did not want to be reminded of her. But he'd just cut Ahsoka off and that was it.
There was just something so light about her, and Vader couldn't explain where it was coming from. But her light pulled on him. It somehow made him weak and unable to act against Ahsoka. He had to figure out how to deal with that, because he wasn't planning on letting her out of his grasp.
He would deal with this, and he would not let himself be this open again.
Okay, so, I know that there are aspects of this chapter that aren't correct with canon or legends. But I had this idea in my head and I needed a way to make it work and this was what I came up with.
It's allowed. That's why it's fanfiction. I can write the story however I want it to :p
