Author's Notes: Sorry that I've been MIA for so many months. Physically, I'm fine, but I've been exhausted. Between the craziness at work, the pandemic, surgery, a jewelry business, and piles of homework to help my girls with, I've been stretched pretty thin. Thanks to all of you who reached out to check on me. I'm going to update my other stories too, one snow day or day off at a time. I have bits and pieces of all of my stories written. I just haven't had the time to polish anything. Bear with me.

Warning: This is the most explicit thing I've ever written. You've been warned.

Chapter 5- Payback

"Blaine, honey. Look at me, please. I promise that it's fine," Kurt pleaded at his boyfriend who was buried under a stack of blankets. "Please."

A muffled voice came out from under a pile of blankets. "I can't. I won't ever be able to look you in the eye ever again," Blaine groaned. "It's mortifying.

"You can't look me in the eye anyway, shortie." Kurt teased, gently tugging at the blanket that was on top. "It's ok. It happens. People fart."

"But not in their boyfriend's mouth." Blaine sighed, letting his hand poke out of the blanket a little to swat at his boyfriend and immediately cover himself back up."

"If you don't come out of there, I won't be able to finish what we were doing."

Blaine popped out of the blankets sheepishly so that his boyfriend could see the shock on his face. "Wait, you want to continue? Even after I- did that?"

Kurt took his boyfriend's hand in his. "Of course I do. It was an accident. It's not something you'll make a habit of. And it's not like I've never farted during sex."

"You have?" Blaine's eyebrows arched in confusion. I never noticed."

"That's because you are very loud in bed. Although it's happened more than once and I was sure you noticed."

"If I did, it wasn't what I was focused on. I focus on the noises coming out of your mouth and the expressions on your face."

"Likewise. Actually, had you not jerked away from me and buried yourself under a mountain of blankets, I would've never brought it up," Kurt explained.

"So you aren't disgusted?" Blaine questioned, turning his head to look his boyfriend in the eye.

"No. Intimacy is messy. That's why it's meant to be private. Shared only between the two of us. I couldn't be grossed out because it's you. Remember that night that you got drunk at Rachel's party." Blaine blushed in embarrassment. "You threw up on my Doc Martens. That was gross, but it didn't stop me from wanting to be with you."

"I threw up on your shoes and you still wanted to date me?"

Kurt nodded. "Because you're you. I love you, Blaine. All of you, even the messy, stinky, or awkward parts of you, if I didn't make that obvious by what we've done this weekend. I wouldn't just agree to wax my ass for anyone. And I definitely wouldn't give just anyone a rim job. Only you."

Blaine smiled. "So you didn't hate it?"

"Are you kidding? I"ve never been so turned on in my life. I thought your dirty talk was erotic before, but damn, Blaine. Your mouth can get absolutely filthy, Mr. there are certain words I try not to say," Kurt teased as he kissed Blaine's cheek. "It was so sexy. I kinda came on your sheets. The ones you're wrapped up in right now."

Blaine stared at his boyfriend in disbelief. "Wait! You came? I didn't even touch you,"

"On contraire, the way you pulled my hair, scratched my back. It was the sexiest I've ever seen you, with your legs spread open for me, ass in the air, smooth and perfect. You're gorgeous, Blaine, and I loved every moment of it," Kurt explained, kissing Blaine square on the lips. "In fact, I think I'm ready to pick up where we left off. Bend back over so we can continue where we left off,"

"Hell yes," Blaine sputtered as practically yanked the rest of the blankets off and let them drop to the floor as Kurt pushed him back on the bed.

"Roll over, baby, so I can fulfill your fantasy."

"Kurt," Blaine took his boyfriend's hand lovingly in his own. "Really, we don't have to finish if you don't wan-"

He was answered by Kurt flipping him over and pulling him to the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees on the floor. "Less talkin' unless you're telling me what you want me to do to you. Tell me, Blaine." Kurt said, blowing hot breath over Blaine's parted cheeks. "What do you want right now."

"Your tongue, on my ass. Please," Blaine begged.

"As you wish," Kurt said, and then proceeded to lick at the pink asterisk that was so plainly on display in front of him. Kurt started with a kitten lick, tentative and slow. "Like this?"

"Kurt, you little tease, like before. Harder."

Kurt ran his tongue in the crease of Blaine's thigh. Right here?" he teased again. Kurt felt Blaine's body shiver underneath him.

"Tickles," Blaine chuckled. "Kurt, please, don't tease."

"Then say it. Say what you want me to do to that gorgeous pink hole of yours.

"Lick it, baby," Blaine whined. "Lick it like it's mocha flavored ice cream. Run that gorgeous pink tongue all over it."

"Right here," Kurt questioned as his tongue ran slickly over Blaine's puckered hole.

"God Yes, Kurt! Like that. Right there. Right there." Blaine hollered, his head jerking back as Kurt licked at Blaine's entrance, lapping it in long strokes first and then adjusting to short, flicking motions with his slick, wet tongue."

"Yes, Kurt! Yes! Fuck me with your perfect tongue. Please!" Blaine panted, his voice cracking at the end. "So perfect."

"God Blaine, yes! Kurt said as thrust his tongue inside Blaine's hole, lathing it with his saliva as he jerked his own erection.

"So close," Blaine moaned, his body spasming and thrashing against the mattress. "I'm gonna-"

Blaine didn't even get to finish his sentence as stars shot in front of his eyes and the most intense orgasm he had ever had exploded in every nerve in his body.


"Blaine! Blaine! Baby? Are you ok?"

Blaine opened his eyes to his boyfriend stroking his face. "Did I black out?"

Kurt nodded. "You scared me for a second there. I thought you might have had a seizure or something. You just got really quiet, but I didn't worry quite as much when I saw the wall."

"It hit the wall?" Blaine's head jerked around so he could see where Kurt pointed.

Kurt nodded. "Yep. But I cleaned it up. You've been out for like five minutes. Was it really that good?"

"I didn't get to finish with you yesterday, but yes, it really was. And now, I get to show you, after a few more minutes of recovery," Blaine smiled as he rested his head on Kurt's milky, white chest. "Would you like me to?"

Kurt nodded. "It actually felt pretty amazing for me too. Until Cooper barged in on us. Where is he, by the way? He hasn't barged in on us once today."

"Oh shit!" What time is it?"

At that exact moment, Kurt heard a buzzing. "Is that your phone?"

"Nightstand," Blaine pointed. "I turned off the ringer so that we didn't get interrupted. He's called three times and sent seven texts. I hope he's alright."

"What's wrong?" Kurt inquired, pulling on his underwear. "Is he ok?"

"He left a message," Blaine said as he cleaned himself with the damp cloth that Kurt had set aside for them. "Oh God! He went for the wax without me."

"Is he mad?"

"He sent a video message."

Cooper popped up on the screen, waving wildly as he sat shirtless on a massage table while a few women busied themselves with tasks in the parlor. "Hey Squirt! Thanks for making the appointment for me. I know you said you'd go with me, but it sounded kinda awkward to have my brother come with me while I get my ass waxed so I went without you. I decided to get my chest waxed too. They told me I'd be three times sexier if my rock hard chest was smooth. I asked one of the ladies to record it so you could see the results. So far, It's not so bad," Cooper said as a pretty Asian woman slathered the wax on his chest. "They tried to get me to shave it first but I told them I could take it. The wax actually feels pretty- HOLY SHIT!" Cooper screeched as the lady ripped off the large strip of wax near his nipple. " BLAINE, YOU LITTLE JERKOFF! THAT HURTS LIKE HELL! TURN IT OFF! HELL NO, I'M NOT LYING BACK DOWN. AND THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL YOU'RE JERKING THE HAIRS OUT OF MY ASS. BLAINE, I'M KICKING YOUR ASS WHEN I GET HOME. ACTUALLY, NO. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA."

The video ended abruptly.

Kurt fell back on the bed laughing. "Oh my God! That was priceless. Did you tell them to do that?"

Blaine nodded as a massive grin spread across his face. "Next time, he'll call first," he chuckled.

He sounded pretty pissed. What do you think he might mean by saying that he had a better idea."

"I don't know. It's Cooper. Remember when he got the bright idea to try to sneak backstage at that Queen concert because he was "famous" enough that the security guard would just let him back."

"How long is banned from the Nationwide Arena?" Kurt laughed.

"Until 2022," Blaine chuckled. "If his big idea is as well thought out as that one, we have nothing to worry about. Besides, don't you always say that karma's a bitch?"

"Almost as big of one as I can be," Kurt added with a smile.

"You are not a bitch unless someone deserves your wrath, and then you just dish out what's coming?" Blaine said, kissing Kurt with a loud mwah sound.

"And you know what should be coming right now? Me. I believe we have unfinished business," Kurt growled, pulling Blaine down on top of him.


Half an hour later, both boys are lying naked on Blaine's bed, kissing lazily, loosely wrapped up in a thin sheet. Kurt let out a sigh and kissed Blaine squarely on the lips.

Kurt sighed as he kissed Blaine sweetly on the forehead. "Now I get it. The reason you blacked out. That was amazing, Blaine. Totally worth the waxing, although I probably won't endure that again."

Blaine nuzzled Kurt's cheek. "I told you that you didn't need to do it just for me. It's up to you. I put the wax away in the bathroom cabinet in case you want to do it again."

"Did you push it to the back? I don't want your housekeeper or your mom finding it and asking us where it came from. It was bad enough when Lupe found our lube and told your mom about it." Kurt chuckled as his fingers caressed his boyfriend's bare chest.

Blaine nodded to signify that he agreed. "That was mortifying. I got "the talk" after that."

"Oh please. My dad gave me the talk after you decided that he needed to give me one. It couldn't have been been as bad as the one my dad gave me. There were pamphlets. How could your experience be worse than mine."

"My mom gave me a family-sized box of condoms and then demonstrated how to put one on using a banana."

Kurt laughed. "Oh my god. That is so much worse," That's the reason you almost upchucked when I suggested banana splits that weekend." Kurt chuckled.

Blaine nodded as Kurt's phone beeped. "Hey, no phones when we're messing around," Blaine reminded Kurt.

I'm sorry but it's buzzed three times. I figured it might be important. He grabbed his phone and started checking his notifications. "Hey, Cooper posted something on your Twitter wall," Kurt said with a smile.

Blaine reached over and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. "I hope it's the waxing video. That was hilari-" Blaine froze. "Oh my God! Kurt, did you read it? He tagged us both." Blaine asked, thrusting his phone in Kurt's face. "Oh my God! I'm going to kill him!"

Cooper Anderson aka slash savings: So I have a big announcement. I've got a gig on a brand new show that will air next summer. Thanks to my baby bro, Blainey and his beau, Kurt Hummel, for the advice on rimming. Apparently, my gaybies are sexperts after what I walked in on yesterday.

Underneath was a photo of Blaine bending over a very bare looking Kurt. It was obvious that they were naked even though Cooper had blacked out the boy's asses.

"Oh my God! It's a public post. And he crossposted on Facebook!" Blaine exclaimed, scrambling out of bed, the sheet barely wrapped around him. "I'm going to kill him, he said as he grabbed his laptop off of the nightstand and jerked it open. He opened his Twitter and pulled up his account.

"You?" Kurt shrieked. "The girls, Mr. Shue! My dad. They're all on Facebook. I'll never be able to show my face again. Can you delete it?"

"It's not my post. Oh my God. He posted twenty minutes ago. People have already started replying." Blaine exclaimed as he scrolled through the tweets.

N. Puckerman, Mercedes Jones and 33 others like this.

Brittany S. Pierce: No fair! When Kurt and I were dating, I couldn't even get him to lick my armpits. :(

Rachel Barbara Berry: Brittany S. Pierce. Ew!

Finn Hudson: Oh God! That's my little brother! I'll never unsee that!

Fair Porcelain Finn Hudson: I'm six months older than you.

Santana Lopez Finn Hudson: Judging by how much of your little brother Coop blacked out, there's nothing little there.

Puckerman aka Puckasaurus: Dude. How do you squeeze all of that into those tight ass pants you wear? Emphasis on a tight ass. Blaine Warbler: seems you loosened him up a little, in more ways than one.

Santana Lopez aka Auntie Snix: Wanky!

Finn Hudson: I'm outta this conversation.

Mercedes Jones: Do I even want to know what rimming means?"

Santana Lopez aka Auntie Snix: It's some kinky shit. Pun intended.

Kurt Hummel Santana Lopez aka Auntie Snix, you said your lips were sealed!

Santana Lopez FairPorcelain apparently Blaine's weren't and neither is your ass. Get it Kurt!

Fair Porcelain Santana Lopez aka Auntie Snix, remember our conversation in the car. I'd check all your products and hair care products for the next six months. Payback's a bitch.

Santana Lopez Fair Porcelain: Shutting up.

Fair Porcelain Santana Lopez aka Auntie Snix, Too Late!

Puckerman aka Puckasaurus FairPorcelain: No reason to get all anal on us, just Blaine. LMAO.

Artie Abrams: I knew they had to be getting it on since after West Side Story, yo. I mean with the way Blaine's dancing has gone from boy band corny to some hip thrustin' action.

Rachel Barbara Berry: Oh my god! This is my best friend. How am I ever gonna look at him straight again?

Puckerman aka Puckasaurus Rachel Barbara Berry: No worries. Judging by that angle, Blaine doesn't look at him straight either! 8^D

Quinn Fabray: It looks like with your flexibility and willingness to show some skin, Sue might want to recruit both of you for the Cheerios.

Fair Porcelain: This was supposed to be private.

N Puckerman aka Puckasaurus Fair Porcelain: Oh trust me. We see privates.

Santana Lopez aka Auntie Snix: Wanky!

Blaine Warbler Cooper Anderson slash savings: WHAT THE HELL, COOP! THIS IS INEXCUSABLE! TAKE IT DOWN THIS aka Puckasaurus: Take it down. Oooh! I bet that's what our boy Kurt said.

Fair Porcelain N. Puckerman aka Paulasaurus: Oh shut it!

Puckerman aka Puckasaurus: I guarantee that Anderson didn't say that!

Blaine Warbler N. Puckerman aka Puckasaurus: Stop ?!

Puckerman aka Puckasaurus: I guarantee he didn't say that either!

Fair Porcelain N Puckerman aka Puckasaurus: Butt out!

Artie Abrams aka Captain Wheelie: Another thing I bet Blaine said at that particular moment. :^D

Fair Porcelain: I hate you all right now, especially you Cooper AndersonSlash savings

Cooper Anderson slash savings Fair Porcelain: It looks like you were lovin' My Little Blainey boy very much in that moment!

Blaine Warbler Cooper Anderson slash savings: I'M WARNING YOU! TAKE IT DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Cooper Anderson slash savings Blaine Warbler: Or What, Squirt? :^D


Cooper chuckled to himself as he read the comments on his Twitter page. It was just a joke. He was totally going to take it down. Eventually. Once the sting from the waxing subsided. He winced as he softly rubbed over the bare spot on his chest. All of a sudden, his phone began ringing. He answered it without even looking, which he immediately regretted doing when he heard the high pitched squeal from the other side of the line.

"Oh My God! Is this Cooper Anderson? From the Free Credit Rating Today Dot Com Commercials? I can't believe that you tweeted that video with your phone number! My girlfriend Celeste, well, my bff, not my girlfriend, girlfriend, said that I shouldn't call because a real celebrity wouldn't actually tweet his phone number, but I told her it had to be you because I follow your Twitter religiously and you do crazy stuff like this all the time. And hey, don't worry about the botched wax job. That shit hurts. You're still a sexy-"

Cooper hit the end call button and pulled up his Twitter to see that Blaine had responded to his Tweet.

Blaine Warbler Cooper Anderson slash savings: Digging your new look!

He didn't even have to click play to know it was the video of him getting waxed, but it wasn't just the short clip he had sent Blaine. It was the entire session which had ended with him running out of the spa with only a towel clutched around his waist, screaming obscenities. He couldn't even watch the video without being interrupted every few seconds by another obnoxious fan calling to see if it was really him on the phone. He quickly deleted the video and changed his password when he heard his phone ring again.

"Hi, yes, sorry mate, but this is not the superstar Cooper Anderson from the FreeCreditReportratingsTodayDotCom," he said in his best Australian accent. "Someone was just pulling your leg-

"Cooper, darling. This is Slyvia, your agent. And Bridgett from PR is on the line."

"Cooper, Oh My god! What have you done this time! Tweeting your number?" Bridgett screeched.

"I didn't do that. That was my brother. But I've already contacted Verizon about changing my number and I took down the tweet. Hopefully, it won't be that bad."

"Oh, I wasn't even upset by all of that, Darling," Slyvia said matter of factly. "I'm more upset by the announcement on Facebook that you're down exclusively doing gay porn. I told you if you wanted to do that, then I could hook you up with the right connections. Just last week, XXXTRA contacted me about you doing that new movie, How to Strain Your Dragon: The Hidden Hole."

"Sylvia, I'm not doing porn," he sighed. "Not again, anyway." Cooper sighed and muttered to himself. "Well played, Blainey. Well played."

"Oh poo, darling. But are you still wanting to do the article with Men's Health magazine? They'll want to do an exclusive with you."

Cooper smiled. "They want to do an exclusive with me? Why? Because of the show and the life-saving techniques I learned for the role?

Bridgett laughed. "No. They want to do an exclusive about your mechanophilia. It's not every day that somebody admits that they like to stick their junk into tailpipes and engines and stuff."

"What!" Cooper gasped, causing him to almost fumble his phone. He took a deep breath. "Ladies, I've got to go. Please call the magazine and tell them I'd be thrilled to do an interview, but that someone was just playing a joke about the car thing. I like to have sex in cars, not with them. But I'd love to talk about the complications of performing CPR on a mannequin and how I almost drowned after I hit my head when I dove into the wrong side of the pool." Cooper chuckled. "And I'll make sure that I will change my Facebook password too. But I have to go. I need to make another call." Cooper hit the end call button and hit Blaine's name on his contacts.

"BLAINE DEVON ANDERSON, I WILL KICK YOUR HAIRLESS AS-"

"COOPER EUGENE ANDERSON, YOU ARE EXPECTED HOME IN TWENTY MINUTES, IS THAT CLEAR, YOUNG MAN!"

"Yes ma'am, I mean, mom." Cooper gulped.


"Hey, gotta wrap this up. Mom said five minutes and I'm pretty sure she means it," Blaine said into his camera.

"Was it worth it, being grounded for a month?" Kurt asked Blaine over Facetime.

"Yeah, it really was. You should've seen Coop's face. Mom's really scary when you do something to embarrass our family name," Blaine shuddered.

"I'm sorry," Kurt pouted. I didn't mean to get you grounded.

"Don't be. Even with all this craziness, I had the most incredible time with you, and it was all worth it, although it sucks that we won't be able to do it again for a long time," Blaine said with his biggest puppy-dog pout.

"That just means we'll have to improvise," Kurt grinned slyly.

"What do you suggest?" Blaine asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"When I went to that sex shop, I might have picked up something that I didn't let Santana know about," Kurt smirked. "Something we could play with."

"Oh God, Kurt. Did you buy a toy?"

Kurt smiled and bit his lip, his cheeks blushing red. "Maybe."

"That's so hot. We'll have to-"

All of a sudden, Kurt's door jerked open. Finn held up Kurt's new razor. "Hey, dude. Is it ok that I borrowed your razor? I couldn't find mine."

Kurt bit his lip trying to stifle his laughter when he thought about the last thing he had shaved with that razor was Blaine's ass. "Yeah, sure."

"Why do they call it the Lawnmower?" Finn asked, scratching his head.

"I'm sure they have their reasons, Finn," Kurt laughed.


Author's Notes: Well, that's it for this piece. I hope that you all liked reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Reviews are like chocolates. I'd love to hear from you guys.